So, if you remember, we moved into my childhood home. We're in the middle of painting and fixing up my old bedroom in the attic (affectionately called "the loft" by my grandparents lol) to turn it into H's new office. Growing up my grandmother let me have a wall where I could draw and have my friends sign their names, etc. It was covered in hilarious and embarrassing notes and "I <3 Whoever" and shit.
But one of my best friends growing up signed it when we were maybe 12? 13? His signature was big and clear as could be. He died when we were 19 very unexpectedly and I couldn't let H paint over it, so he cut out that section for me. I told him I would frame it, but I don't know if I should keep it. His mom does hair for a woman across the street so I see her once every few months. Should I give it to her? I feel bad keeping it. But I also don't want to make her feel sad, which is dumb because it's not like she doesn't think about it all the time I'm sure. Wwyd?
I think it would be a beautiful gesture to frame it and give it to his mom. I also think that if you really want to keep it, you should without feeling bad. Whatever you decide will be fine. (heart)
Can you take a picture of it, and have it turned into a small canvas for yourself? And then offer her the piece of drywall?
This is a good idea. I can frame the picture. That would alleviate the guilt on both ends- like I'm giving up a piece of his memory, or that I'm selfish for keeping it.
I think it would be a beautiful gesture to frame it and give it to his mom. I also think that if you really want to keep it, you should without feeling bad. Whatever you decide will be fine. (heart)
Honestly, I'm sure his mom has lots of his things, so don't feel bad keeping it. It's yours, do what you want to with it. If you are thinking of just throwing it out or something I'd give it to her, but you should keep it if you want it.
I think you are fine keeping if you want it, but I also think it would be a sweet gesture to give it to his mom if you would prefer to just keep a photograph of it for yourself.
When I was in HS my good friend's parents let us graffiti up one of their bathrooms like that. It was really fun, and I remember her being bummed when they eventually had to paint over everything. It's fun that you were able to save a memory like this.
Yes, please offer. Also, if you're taking a picture for yourself, also include an un-framed picture for the mom (in addition to the chunk of drywall).
This way she can choose to keep the photo (say, in an album) and won't feel bad if she chooses not to keep the drywall (which may be harder to display). It can be really hard so long after someone has passed to feel like you have to display something. Often it's nice to just be able to tuck the item away so you can look at it when you want to, and not every time you walk into a room.
Thanks guys. It helped to talk this out. It's so weird being back in this house. He lived one block over and I drive or walk by his old house every day. It's been 10 years that he's been gone and it still doesn't seem real.
I would take a picture and frame that for yourself. I think it would be very meaningful for her to have the drywall and think it would be such a sweet gesture for you to offer it.