3 day potty training. Aka, my nervous breakdown

[panicfoot]

Ds is 33 months and has seemed ready for a while so I decided to take advantage of my four day weekend and try the 3-day method.

Day 2 is off to a rough start. He did so well yesterday. Not one accident, peed every time he was prompted and went probably half the time on his own. Today, seven accidents and maybe three times he's gone in the potty.

Tips? Hair pats?

Send buckets of wine.

[panicfoot]

I wouldn't have considered it but he's done really well at school and home. He goes unprompted a lot so I thought he was pretty ready.

[jlt19]

Set the timer for 20 min. Make him try every time it goes off. It worked well for DD. She was trained after a weekend. DS, not so much. We did that method and had to continue it every night for months. Like 6. It was the worst. He'll be 4 in July and there's no end in sight for nighttime diapers. I'm so over it I don't care. Godspeed.

[sweetpea508]

I had the same idea about doing it during the long weekend. Day 1: 4 accidents, 1 poo smear through my hair. Failing pretty hard at this

[thebreakfastclub]

May 28, 2016 13:03:27 GMT -5 luschek said:

He's not even three and you're PT? No, girl. Just. No.

At my daycare you can't move up to the 3s classroom until you are pt'd, excluding naps.

[jlt19]

May 28, 2016 14:03:10 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

May 28, 2016 13:03:27 GMT -5 luschek said:

He's not even three and you're PT? No, girl. Just. No.

At my daycare you can't move up to the 3s classroom until you are pt'd, excluding naps.

Really? Ours is the 4s room. I think expecting kids to be done by 3 is insane.

[panicfoot]

May 28, 2016 14:03:10 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

May 28, 2016 13:03:27 GMT -5 luschek said:

He's not even three and you're PT? No, girl. Just. No.

At my daycare you can't move up to the 3s classroom until you are pt'd, excluding naps.

Same with ours, only it's not by age, it's more by when they'll go to kindergarten, so around 3. He should move up to the next room when the new school year starts but can't if he isn't PT.

[panicfoot]

May 28, 2016 14:13:13 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

You're not supposed to prompt them at all in the three day method. Did you read the whole booklet thing? I think for it to work you really need to do it exactly how she outlines it. For both my girls, days 1 and 2 were disasters--like probably 20 accidents the first day! Pee everywheerrrreeee. But both were fully good to go by the end of the third day (to the point where we could easily take them out of the house and they never wore a diaper again outside of naps/night).

Oh, wait. I said three day but I read oh, crap! And she says you should prompt but not ask? Maybe I should stop prompting because I think that was frustrating him.

[pugz]

Agree no prompting, that starts a power struggle.

[panicfoot]

May 28, 2016 13:54:49 GMT -5 sweetpea508 said:

I had the same idea about doing it during the long weekend. Day 1: 4 accidents, 1 poo smear through my hair. Failing pretty hard at this

I'll share my wine with you.

[panicfoot]

May 28, 2016 14:15:52 GMT -5 pugz said:

Agree no prompting, that starts a power struggle.

Ok I'll start this when he wakes up from his nap. So just let him tell me when he wants to go?

[thebreakfastclub]

I read Oh Crap, and I did prompt for at least 50% of days 1-2. I had to strong arm my son onto the potty this morning, almost a year later. So prompting continues!

Is he still naked from the waist down?

[panicfoot]

May 28, 2016 14:17:45 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I read Oh Crap, and I did prompt for at least 50% of days 1-2. I had to strong arm my son onto the potty this morning, almost a year later. So prompting continues!

Is he still naked from the waist down?

I tried pants this morning and he did great at first and then mid morning it went to shit. I chalked it up to playing but then he started peeing right after he'd sit on the potty with no pee.

Eta before his nap, he went pantsless again and didn't have an accident.

[thebreakfastclub]

May 28, 2016 14:19:42 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

May 28, 2016 14:17:45 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I read Oh Crap, and I did prompt for at least 50% of days 1-2. I had to strong arm my son onto the potty this morning, almost a year later. So prompting continues!

Is he still naked from the waist down?

I tried pants this morning and he did great at first and then mid morning it went to shit. I chalked it up to playing but then he started peeing right after he'd sit on the potty with no pee.

Eta before his nap, he went pantsless again and didn't have an accident.

I think she says go back to naked then and regroup. This method worked well for me, so I say don't give up.

[panicfoot]

May 28, 2016 14:20:40 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

May 28, 2016 14:15:36 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

Oh, wait. I said three day but I read oh, crap! And she says you should prompt but not ask? Maybe I should stop prompting because I think that was frustrating him.

The three day method has you say "Let me know when you need to go potty" regularly, so maybe that's similar? But you're definitely not supposed to ask them if they have to go OR take them to the potty. You need to 100% wait for them (at least in the 3 day method) to initiate it. And if they start having an accident, you rush them to the bathroom and then remind them to tell you when they have to go. It definitely takes a good three days but for most kids, it really clicks by the end of that third day and they become good about recognizing when they need to go. So many methods seem to rely on taking kids to the bathroom regularly or having the parent remind them and I think that tends to draw the process out because they aren't really learning their own body signals. 

Do you have them in underwear the whole time?

[sonrisa]

I did 3 day with my first. A year later she was getting there.

[stealthmom]

Just don't give up. I used the 3-day method and the first day was a huge disaster. But by the end it was a success.

[chickadee77]

I used Oh, Crap - mostly because L was 19 months when she started demanding to use the potty. I still say a couple of times a day, "Tell mommy/daddy/your teacher when you need to use the potty." So far, so good.

Good luck!

[boxertdog]

It's truly not worth putting yourself through hell. I have two boys. The first one we PT about 34 months and it took a week with some breakthrough accidents. The second kid is stubborn as hell and gave no fucks about crapping his pants. It took 3 months to PT him. It was decidedly easier when I realized I was not driving the ship. They figure it out. Don't stress too hard.

[underwaterrhymes]

I think the age is arbitrary. Has he expressed interest? Does he like to sit on the potty?

These were our cues. We potty trained K right before age 3, and those two things clued us in that he was ready.

It was super easy, but not because of his age, but because it was just really good timing.

We did use the Oh Crap method, but I disagree with her recommendations on age.

[phdprocrastinator]

May 28, 2016 16:14:09 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

I used Oh, Crap - mostly because L was 19 months when she started demanding to use the potty. I still say a couple of times a day, "Tell mommy/daddy/your teacher when you need to use the potty." So far, so good.

Good luck!

I have an 18 month old who wants to go potty. What's the oh crap method?

With our first, we took three days but I'm not sure we followed a "method" (had her sit on the potty, getting candy and prizes when she finally went).

OP, keep it up! He's shown you he has the capacity to go potty. He'll get there. I think the general advice is not to go backward once they've done it. Also, among my friends, day 2 is generally harder than day one.

[panicfoot]

I went to yoga to get out of the house for a bit. I think I was getting too anxious. I told H about not offering and so far, so good. He went on his own accord when he woke up from his nap and no accidents since. I think i was just offering too much. He's suuuuper independent and strong willed so I think I need to make it more his idea.

Thanks for the tips and pep talk

[chickadee77]

May 28, 2016 16:48:21 GMT -5 phdprocrastinator said:

May 28, 2016 16:14:09 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

I used Oh, Crap - mostly because L was 19 months when she started demanding to use the potty. I still say a couple of times a day, "Tell mommy/daddy/your teacher when you need to use the potty." So far, so good.

Good luck!

I have an 18 month old who wants to go potty. What's the oh crap method?

With our first, we took three days but I'm not sure we followed a "method" (had her sit on the potty, getting candy and prizes when she finally went).

OP, keep it up! He's shown you he has the capacity to go potty. He'll get there. I think the general advice is not to go backward once they've done it. Also, among my friends, day 2 is generally harder than day one.

It's actually the title of a book (I checked it out from the library) - it focuses on doing the bulk of the work in 3-4 days, but without the pressure of being "done" in that amount of time. She explains a lot about potty training on each end of the age spectrum - how to solve problems for an older kid that has already been through it and not taken to it for whatever reason, and younger kids that might not quite have the muscle control to be able to get it totally down in 3 days. It focuses more on stages, but it actually sounds pretty similar to the 3-day method in a lot of ways - naked time, reminding rather than prompting or forcing, and looking for progress rather than perfection.

She has a blog, too - just google it. I actually emailed her a question that wasn't covered anywhere in her book or blog, and she responded personally, which I thought was really nice.

[phdprocrastinator]

May 28, 2016 17:35:10 GMT -5 chickadee77 said:

May 28, 2016 16:48:21 GMT -5 phdprocrastinator said:

I have an 18 month old who wants to go potty. What's the oh crap method?

With our first, we took three days but I'm not sure we followed a "method" (had her sit on the potty, getting candy and prizes when she finally went).

OP, keep it up! He's shown you he has the capacity to go potty. He'll get there. I think the general advice is not to go backward once they've done it. Also, among my friends, day 2 is generally harder than day one.

It's actually the title of a book (I checked it out from the library) - it focuses on doing the bulk of the work in 3-4 days, but without the pressure of being "done" in that amount of time. She explains a lot about potty training on each end of the age spectrum - how to solve problems for an older kid that has already been through it and not taken to it for whatever reason, and younger kids that might not quite have the muscle control to be able to get it totally down in 3 days. It focuses more on stages, but it actually sounds pretty similar to the 3-day method in a lot of ways - naked time, reminding rather than prompting or forcing, and looking for progress rather than perfection.

She has a blog, too - just google it. I actually emailed her a question that wasn't covered anywhere in her book or blog, and she responded personally, which I thought was really nice.

Awesome! I'll check the library and blog.

[panicfoot]

No more accidents this afternoon! We totally backed off and let him do his thing and by the end of the day, he'd peed and pooped in the potty on his own without prompting.

I also gave him the choice about whether I was in the bathroom with him and he said no each time.

[pugz]

May 28, 2016 21:59:24 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

No more accidents this afternoon! We totally backed off and let him do his thing and by the end of the day, he'd peed and pooped in the potty on his own without prompting.

I also gave him the choice about whether I was in the bathroom with him and he said no each time.

awesome!  

3 Day Method has you constantly ask "is your underwear dry?" and then praising  when it is.  And then low key reminders "let us know when you need to use the potty!"  You have to follow the kid around like white on rice and if you catch them having an accident whisk them off to the potty to finish and remind them that it's important to keep their underwear dry.  

It worked great for us.  

[underwaterrhymes]

K likes us in there when he pees, but when he poops he likes to be totally naked and will say, "I need my privacy," and tells us to close the door on our way out.

[iamgrace]

Clare turns 3 in a month. I am just starting now. But really I have no idea what I'm doing. Also, she is not into it.

[cville]

A 3 day method - type technique is what daycare did with O (and we obviously followed at home too). He was 2.5. The first few days were utter disaster. Then boom, dry all the time. He's had maybe 2 awake accidents since. Now if he's grabbing his junk a lot (not a little, I have determined that constantly touching his junk is his status quo) and I ask if he needs to go, it's not a power struggle at all. He'll say "hmmmmmm...yes" or no as the case may be.

Both of my children want someone to hang out with them while they poop and make casual conversation. I finally had to break it down for L that it smells and I don't want to engage in chitchat 3 feet away. So she shouts to me with the door open.

[noodleskooze]

DS will be 3 in July and is really uninterested. DH wants to try to do the 3 day method in June, but I'm doubtful that it will work when DS couldn't care less.