Post by konapoppy on Sept 21, 2016 21:15:12 GMT -5
I am so heartbroken over our country. A friend from HS asked on FB what techniques other POC use when interacting with the police to appear non-threatening. The fact that this is even a question is devastating to me.
And if I see one more lawyer for the homicidal cops say that they are "distraught" I am going to explode. They are not distraught over the right things.
The fucking system for LEO handling interactions with POC is so beyond broken and we should all be distraught. We've had how long to figure out better protocols and safeguards to save the innocent lives of POC? Instead POC are distraught and grieving over dead husbands and brothers and sisters and daughters and sons that never come home. Where is the rage over this instead of if someone should stand for the anthem during a who gives a shit sports event?
Post by jerseyjaybird on Sept 21, 2016 22:29:48 GMT -5
I haven't been here regularly in months; I don't have my head above water at work and am freelancing most evenings.
A week or two ago, I started lurking again and since then have felt the need to really read through and sit with some of the epic threads before resurfacing.
Anyway. I am disgusted and defeated and trying to figure out the balance between my responsibility to fix this shit and not going about that in a way that centers my emotions or amplifies my voice over others. Today that has been supporting a friend trying to organize a vigil in Philly this Friday. Have not figured out what's next.
And I believe it's always been this bad, but now more of us are woke, or on our way there.
genet313 I too feel incredibly inarticulate these days. Plus a message board isn't a great medium to have these conversations since it isn't necessarily realtime.
I agree that forcing a dialogue is not the answer, but retreating doesn't seem right either. There has to be a middle ground which is also hard to find especially when it's a difficult conversation that needs to be had.
I have more thoughts but I'm on my phone now. I'll be back later.
I've been feeling exceptionally inarticulate lately, so I will just quote some smarter women than I whose words struck on some of what I've been feeling:
I also feel incredibly inarticulate and uninformed these days. My "bubble" feels huge. Even if it is filled with fairly liberally minded people, my closest friends are mostly white and we're all the same SES status as far as I can tell. And I am privileged and my privilege is showing of late. So I have been posting less and reading more and trying to educate myself.
I've been feeling very defeated and just really, really sad. The news is just unrelenting. I feel so hopeless about everything. I'm scared for where this country is going. I keep typing more, but that always seems to be making it about me, and it's not about me. But I know I hurt people and that makes me sad.
I'm so sorry sfy . A friend of mine posted the following and I immediately thought of you and your DS, and many other WOC on the boards who have been saying this for years.
When black boys are born We mothers kiss their faces Twirl our fingers in their curls Put them in carriers on our chest Show them to the world Our tiny black princes
And when they start school As early as 3 We mothers Place huge back packs on their backs And we slowly fill them with bricks Etched with tools Tattooed with truths Hoping to save them
Don't talk back Don't get angry Say yes ma'am Say no sir Don't fight Even if they hit you first Especially if they are white Do your best Better than best Be still Worker hardest BRICK
they get a little older And we add more Keep your hands out of your pockets Don't look them in the eye Don't challenge Don't put your manhood before your life Just get home safe Don't walk alone Don't walk with too many boys Don't walk towards police Don't walk away from police Don't buy candy or ice tea Don't put your hood up I'll drive you I'll pick you up You can't be free Don't go wandering Come home to me BRICK
They get a little older And we add more Understand you are a threat Standing still Breathing Your degrees are not a shield Your job is not a shield Your salary makes you a target Your car makes you a target Your nice house in a nice neighborhood Makes you a target Don't put your ego before your safety Don't talk back Don't look them in the eye Get home to your wife Your son BRICK
They weigh them down. This knowing Of having to carry the load Of their blackness the world hasn't changed The straps just dig deeper into their skin Their backs ache But their souls don't break Our beautiful black men
When you say to me All lives matter I simply ask Will your son die with the world on his back Mine will
Post by heliocentric on Sept 22, 2016 12:20:14 GMT -5
Add me to the list of people who don't know what to say. I am horrified that this keeps happening. Each time a black man is shot by a LEO (which is far too often) I think that now people will finally pay attention and stuff will change, but yet it never happens. Why aren't we fixing this?
Wow, so true, genet313. Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the kindness. It feels almost selfish to be wallowing when there are victims and families who have actually been affected by these murders first hand. We are fearful and pissed completely the hell off, but I keep reminding myself that we have no idea. My heart really aches for them .
Wow, so true, genet313 . Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the kindness. It feels almost selfish to be wallowing when there are victims and families who have actually been affected by these murders first hand. We are fearful and pissed completely the hell off, but I keep reminding myself that we have no idea. My heart really aches for them .
This is how I feel, selfish for feeling bad and weary. Selfish even more, x100 probably, because as a white woman, I will never fully get it. But if I feel beaten down and weary, POC must feel so much more and I hate that for you and for them. I've spent my adult life thinking that being a good person was enough, that that was what I could do in this world, and I am feeling pretty awful that this just isn't true.
My heart is heavy this week between the happenings literally just down the road from me to the senseless murder of innocent men. Just now, not even 10 minutes ago on my way home, I saw police questioning a young Black man on the street. He didn't have a car, so I don't know why they would have a reason to question him. I can only guess as I saw they asked him to show him what is in his bag he was carrying. Again, this was literally down the road.
Edit: In reading the Luvvie article, I should have gone with my gut and pulled over and watched. I am ashamed that I didn't. I have a million excuses but none of them matter.
explorer2001 you are absolutely correct - they managed to injure but not kill the bombing suspect, why can't we say the same for the men killed recently?
I am also still dealing with a lot on a personal note and it's been so hard.
I've been doing this for a while now. It felt really uncomfortable at first but then I realized that POC feel much much differently when they're in a situation in police and I need to get over myself.
My phone ate my post. sfy, you have real fears. You are sharing those fears with a group of predominately white women, not the mothers grieving the public murders of their children this past week. You are following all the rules of "comfort in" and "dump out." I'm sending you virtual hugs and trying to figure out how to send something more meaningful, like security and peace. ❤️