Fivedogs is a loss for sure. I, and the rest of the board I'm sure, appreciated her expertise on car seats and dogs.
CloudBee, I'm not an expert on horses, but did grow up with them. I was also concerned about safety until more background info was posted, but didn't say anything because I don't know enough about lessons (never took them) to voice an opinion.
Did five dogs delete and deactivate over this? Oh my.
What?!
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I can only assume she didn't feel comfortable with cloudbee's son riding a horse unless he was rear facing in a convertible seat, with a non-puffy coat.
Post by longtimenopost on Nov 7, 2016 10:36:18 GMT -5
CloudBee , like auntie mentioned, A is 3 and does therapeutic riding every week. I gather it's not much different from what any young rider would do. The class has an instructor and each rider has a walker. They ride around the barn practicing "barn voice" and commands, and do simple activities like placing rings on a pole. When the weather is nice they do trail rides. They provide helmets - she does not need boots but does need hard soled shoes.
Eh. I think she's often insensitive to people on here when she comes into a post armed with lots of information. She was strangely invested in this post and made a lot of assumptions. She left on her own. That's on her, not me. I am raising my eyebrows at her deactivating because a "sensitive" poster questioned whether her feedback was constructive. I gave background in my opening paragraph about why we are exposing DS to horses.
I think it says something about her needing to be right with her always present walls of text vs. wanting to keep my son "safe" in his "lessons". She quoted and mocked me over feeling defeated. Who does that? Hey there, let's drag that little white flag through the mud for good measure.
I guess car seat manuals can't help you navigate through every post.
CloudBee , I'm not an expert on horses, but did grow up with them. I was also concerned about safety until more background info was posted, but didn't say anything because I don't know enough about lessons (never took them) to voice an opinion.
And I had no idea that helmets needed to be replaced after a fall. It has me questioning if we should be doing the same with bike helmets after a kid falls onto pavement. Maybe someone knows. Or maybe I should pull out the manual that came with the helmet.
CloudBee , I'm not an expert on horses, but did grow up with them. I was also concerned about safety until more background info was posted, but didn't say anything because I don't know enough about lessons (never took them) to voice an opinion.
And I had no idea that helmets needed to be replaced after a fall. It has me questioning if we should be doing the same with bike helmets after a kid falls onto pavement. Maybe someone knows. Or maybe I should pull out the manual that came with the helmet.
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Yes! If they fall on their head you have to replace. I actually know this because I borrowed my husband's bike helmet to play roller derby in once and he was pissed. Here is the info:
I would expect a lead line type class with maybe mom and dad or someone else walking beside. I let my 3 year old ride her pony about once a week on our farm and she can balance/hold the saddle horn/hold her reins if she wants to (way too long for her to be able to do anything with them). We only walk though at this point. I do not have to have someone right beside her so I will lunge the pony in a circle around me and then walk around/do random things. We have also worked on brushing, walking safely around the horse, names of equipment, etc. Healed shoes so foot can't slip through the stirrup and get stuck, also should be treadless/slick soled for this reason. Stirrups arn't 100% necessary with this type of lesson though. My kid doesn't use them yet and it can actually help develop balance to not use them. For the pants, jeans are fine but can rub depending on the seams and how stiff they are. Jeggings or even a legging may be more comfortable. A good facility will have appropriate helmets. Some weeks she will ride 5 to 10 minutes before getting bored and some days it will be 30 minutes+. In general, for this type of lesson, I think how often will depend alot on your kid's interest, how interesting they keep the class, etc. I could see weekly, every two weeks, or even monthly. In general, for independent lessons, I would recommend starting at age 6 to 7. It does require a certain level of strength, coordination, and critical thinking skills.
Half the lesson is tacking and the other half grooming. I know DS is excited to brush the horse. He was talking about it last night. So he may enjoy that more than sitting on the horse. Ha! I think the grooming and tacking will also help reinforce respecting space, as he'll learn not to stand behind the horse, etc.
When I was emailing the barn with questions they said that most of their students in the 3-5 range are happy with 15 minutes grooming, and 15 minutes riding. Based on your experience it sounds like I need to be aware of having him come down early if he is more interested in petting the horse than riding while he's up there.
We do have leggings, so maybe I'll put him in those if he'll let me.
CloudBee , I'm sorry that her post hit a nerve with you and I know you guys have been through tough times lately. Hugs. However, I find that you tend to get defensive in your posts and scold anyone who comments on anything that's not the exact thing you want them to answer. I think people's posts about it potentially not being safe are very relevant without knowing more background.
I agree with this, but to be fair, that describes 90% of the posters here. We should change our names to tomato moms given how thin our collective skin is. I'm including myself in that, too.
Very true! I'm the same way. ((hugs CloudBee)). I don't mean to kick you when you're down.
I didn't see any of Fivedogs responses other than the ones quoted, so I apologize if she answered super harshly, but from what I've seen it looks to be like she had helpful information. Which is what was asked in the OP.
I don't feel comfortable with the fivedogs hate. We tag her in every possible car seat thread and appreciate her extensive knowledge & never ending patience but only when it's convenient?? Now we're going to make fun or complain because she's concerned about safety in a post about horseback riding?
CloudBee, I don't regularly go here but my DD1 has been riding horses since 2.5 and loves it. Her daycare is on a farm and had a lead-line program from 2.5 to 3, then she took private lessons (also lead-line) for about 6 months. For the last year, she's been in semi-private lessons (30 minutes once a week) with one other child. Even while on a lead-line, she's developed her core strength and balance, plus her confidence.
I know very little about riding, so I don't have all the correct terminology, but she's now walking on her own and starting to trot on her own (with the instructor running alongside, but she holds the reins). It's been great for her -- I hope it's a great experience for your DS.
FWIW, we got her a pair of riding pants, a helmet, and boots last year that she uses at her weekly lesson. They keep them at the barn, so I don't have to worry about what she wears to daycare that day, but prior to that I sent her in jeans or leggings.
I didn't see any of Fivedogs responses other than the ones quoted, so I apologize if she answered super harshly, but from what I've seen it looks to be like she had helpful information. Which is what was asked in the OP.
I don't feel comfortable with the fivedogs hate. We tag her in every possible car seat thread and appreciate her extensive knowledge & never ending patience but only when it's convenient?? Now we're going to make fun or complain because she's concerned about safety in a post about horseback riding?
I'm not an experienced rider, but I wanted to second pp that most places here don't offer "lessons" for kids under 5 (for the same reasons cited above). The farm where my daughter does a camp doesn't even do hand-led trail rides for kids under 5 unless a parent rides double with them (on a draft horse) because preschoolers' balance isn't very good (let alone their impulse control, LOL).
But how is this helpful for something we've already signed up for and committed to?
You wouldn't talk someone out of a pony ride at a birthday party, would you? And really would anyone expect a 3-5 year old to really do anything other than be lead around and learn about not walking behind a horse, etc? We're excited for him to sit up there again (like he did at a recent pony event) and feel some peace.
I said in my post we're doing this because of some pretty shitty events he's been through lately, coupled with his interest in getting onto a horse. You're really taking the wind out of my sails. I'm not asking if he SHOULD take a few "lessons". I'm asking for input about what he should wear, etc.
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I too may have missed a post from fivedogs, but if I'm following correctly - it looks like she first basically ditto'ed someone else and you jumped on her that her advice was "not helpful" and basically that she shouldn't have posted anything except what to wear. She then responded: "And you already said what he was wearing, which all sounded reasonable. You said "Any other suggestions?" I didn't think you were asking for more advice on what to wear." I think her advice was valid.
Then, it seems you rolled your eyes at her here (and told her again not to post here...): Why are you being so defensive and coming back in here with more of this?
Admittedly I am sensitive, and I expressed that I was excited, followed by some defeat. You still came back and mocked me by quoting my feelings. In a thread about kids and horseback riding. Whaaat? This isn't a political post.
I hear you on the safety aspect. But I was also 100% not concerned with my son's safety on a pony ride over pavement last month where he was walked in a loop and not held onto. With a broken leg in a boot. While holding on. So maybe I'm breezy with this. I expected something similar with our "lessons".
Riding a horse is supposed to be therapeutic and all... Right? LOL.
And then thebreakfastclub poked fun at safety and puffy car seats.
Look, I personally wouldn't have deactivated if I were her but if you didn't like her advice, you could have ignored it or just noted that you were ok with the safety risks.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Nov 7, 2016 14:11:57 GMT -5
I feel like this is getting to be a little much, lol.
countthestars I harbor no ill will towards fivedogs. I don't have much need or interest for car seat posts, and I found her a bit over the top with quoting owner manuals, etc, so I ignored those threads.
I do assume that CloudBee is not signing her kid up for preschool steeplechase, and she's vetted the safety, etc, like a normal person. Therefore, it is somewhat ridiculous to come in and tell someone to not do the activity, then when the OP pushes back, to delete and deactivate.
Post by undecidedowl on Nov 7, 2016 14:57:36 GMT -5
This is weird.
CloudBee , I do consider it to be hateful (though not deactivation worthy) to jump on someone about their factual response on an open forum. It feels like I am missing something here, because the responses just seem so overboard given what I have read. Consider that an alternate response to fivedogs would have been. "Thanks for the heads up. I have (or will) checked to make sure the lesson only includes activities I'm comfortable with DS doing."
ETA: Also, I'm sorry this is such a stressful time for you. I know you are just trying to do your best to help your DS through some tough stuff.
I didn't see any of Fivedogs responses other than the ones quoted, so I apologize if she answered super harshly, but from what I've seen it looks to be like she had helpful information. Which is what was asked in the OP.
I don't feel comfortable with the fivedogs hate. We tag her in every possible car seat thread and appreciate her extensive knowledge & never ending patience but only when it's convenient?? Now we're going to make fun or complain because she's concerned about safety in a post about horseback riding?
Her second post was not about the safety of CB's DS, but instead making fun of and personally mocking CB . It was mean-spirited, especially when you consider all that CB has shared about her son's health. That is why I complained, not because she thought horseback lessons are a bad idea for a 3 year old.
I didn't see any of Fivedogs responses other than the ones quoted, so I apologize if she answered super harshly, but from what I've seen it looks to be like she had helpful information. Which is what was asked in the OP.
I don't feel comfortable with the fivedogs hate. We tag her in every possible car seat thread and appreciate her extensive knowledge & never ending patience but only when it's convenient?? Now we're going to make fun or complain because she's concerned about safety in a post about horseback riding?
Her second post was not about the safety of CB's DS, but instead making fun of and personally mocking CB . It was mean-spirited, especially when you consider all that CB has shared about her son's health. That is why I complained, not because she thought horseback lessons are a bad idea for a 3 year old.
Was this something that was deleted/not quoted? That might explain why I feel like I'm missing something.
CloudBee , I do consider it to be hateful (though not deactivation worthy) to jump on someone about their factual response on an open forum. It feels like I am missing something here, because the responses just seem so overboard given what I have read. Consider that an alternate response to fivedogs would have been. "Thanks for the heads up. I have (or will) checked to make sure the lesson only includes activities I'm comfortable with DS doing."
Thanks. I appreciate your input on how I could have responded... more politely. But questioning someone's response when I feel as if they are making assumptions does not equal hate. You know what could be considered hate? Mocking someone when they've been open about feeling deflated.
You guys started posting AFTER people mentioned she had deactivated and deleted. Did you notice that when you were reading the first page? I didn't screen shot everything.
She says "but of course I have no idea WTF your stable will do in the lesson with a 3.5 yo." then a wall of text (someone quoted her before she deleted it) then quoted my words and made fun of "taking the wind out of my sails". (I had mentioned such, prior.)
1) She's not an experienced rider. She says this. 2) She admits she doesn't know "WTF" they will do in my son's lesson. (Why the aggression?) 3) I'm asking for clothing suggestions in my OP: "They said he needs to wear fitted pants, so I'm going to put him in skinny jeans. Any other suggestions? We live in CT so it will probably be cold enough outside for a jacket." But yes, of course I want more info. Just don't effing elude repeatedly to the fact that I shouldn't be signing my kid up for a lesson (which has already been arranged) is a bad idea when kids ride fucking ponies at parties all the fucking time and you are yourself an "inexperienced rider". And hell, the barn provides lessons for this age group.
She could also have approached ME differently and said "ask about the helmets" or "if you have the opportunity to stand next to him rides, do that". But no, she fed off of the buzz kill post and continued to.. buzz kill. And be rude. About something I mention from the get-go is to lift our family up because of some recent medical shit. But she has a fan club so I can't take my own thread as an opportunity to question her responses in my own thread, I guess? No, not CloudBee who is apparently overly sensitive and if something strikes her nerve should still remain mum on here.
Little kids ride horses all the damn time. I have a few acquaintances in my FB feed who often have their toddlers on horses. This was a light-hearted post about what my kid should wear, how often other little kids ride, etc. She's inexperienced yet continued to come in here and be rude. And quote me when I basically sighed admitting that I now felt deflated.
I have no clue why she left. It was one page of posts, and fairly innocent. I had nothing against her before this, and would have forgotten it all soon enough.
I didn't see any of Fivedogs responses other than the ones quoted, so I apologize if she answered super harshly, but from what I've seen it looks to be like she had helpful information. Which is what was asked in the OP.
I don't feel comfortable with the fivedogs hate. We tag her in every possible car seat thread and appreciate her extensive knowledge & never ending patience but only when it's convenient?? Now we're going to make fun or complain because she's concerned about safety in a post about horseback riding?
Her second post was not about the safety of CB's DS, but instead making fun of and personally mocking CB . It was mean-spirited, especially when you consider all that CB has shared about her son's health. That is why I complained, not because she thought horseback lessons are a bad idea for a 3 year old.
Thanks, that makes sense that I missed something because I felt things escalated quickly and it wasn't making sense.
Hoping everything is OK with Fivedogs, it seems so out of character that she would attack and deactivate.
You guys started posting AFTER people mentioned she had deactivated and deleted. Did you notice that when you were reading the first page? I didn't screen shot everything.
She says "but of course I have no idea WTF your stable will do in the lesson with a 3.5 yo." then a wall of text (someone quoted her before she deleted it) then quoted my words and made fun of "taking the wind out of my sails". (I had mentioned such, prior.)
1) She's not an experienced rider. She says this. 2) She admits she doesn't know "WTF" they will do in my son's lesson. (Why the aggression?) 3) I'm asking for clothing suggestions in my OP: "They said he needs to wear fitted pants, so I'm going to put him in skinny jeans. Any other suggestions? We live in CT so it will probably be cold enough outside for a jacket." But yes, of course I want more info. Just don't effing elude repeatedly to the fact that I shouldn't be signing my kid up for a lesson (which has already been arranged) is a bad idea when kids ride fucking ponies at parties all the fucking time and you are yourself an "inexperienced rider". And hell, the barn provides lessons for this age group.
She could also have approached ME differently and said "ask about the helmets" or "if you have the opportunity to stand next to him rides, do that". But no, she fed off of the buzz kill post and continued to.. buzz kill. And be rude. About something I mention from the get-go is to lift our family up because of some recent medical shit. But she has a fan club so I can't take my own thread as an opportunity to question her responses in my own thread, I guess? No, not CloudBee who is apparently overly sensitive and if something strikes her nerve should still remain mum on here.
Little kids ride horses all the damn time. I have a few acquaintances in my FB feed who often have their toddlers on horses. This was a light-hearted post about what my kid should wear, how often other little kids ride, etc. She's inexperienced yet continued to come in here and be rude. And quote me when I basically sighed admitting that I now felt deflated.
I have no clue why she left. It was one page of posts, and fairly innocent. I had nothing against her before this, and would have forgotten it all soon enough.
You guys are really annoying the hell out of me.
I disagree with some of this, but at this point I don't think it will be helpful to you to explain why. You are in a vulnerable place and looking for support and positivity. I don't want you to feel like you are being singled out here or losing some popularity contest. You are a very valuable member of this community and deserve the support you need right now. I think you are an amazing mom and your sensitivity is because you care so deeply about helping your son.
I live in a fairly horsey area and there are several reputable places around here that start the kid in private lessons, on leadline at 3. I was going to start my daughter this summer at 4 but time got away from me so it will be next year. Physically and mentally I think riding is great for kids. It is very empowering.
I would recommend getting him his own helmet. Ask for a recommendation for a tack store near you and have him fitted. I think my daughters was around $40.00 their heads don't grow that quickly so you should get good use out of it. Plus its money well spent. As for footwear you need something with a heal and I recommend a smoothish sole because the stirrups will have grippy rubber pads in them and he needs to be able to slip his feet out of the stirrups if something goes wrong. Ditto PP, I would not recommend jeans, the seams are not the most comfortable and my guess is even more uncomfortable for a boy. CT is very horsey, there may be a consignment shop nearby and you can get a pair of toddler riding pants pretty cheap.
I always just wear layers when riding in the winter and take them off as I go.
Post by teatimefor2 on Nov 7, 2016 17:58:19 GMT -5
I agree with jenny1980 that this election has made people a bit sensitive. Obliviously, I've missed a lot.
Our local park and rec has horseback riding starting at age three. I haven't done it with my kids, but several parents I know do and their kids love it.
I hope your DS enjoys the activity. And I would have him wear a coat and maybe fingerless gloves. I use to ride and even the indoor rinks were not well heated in winter.
I can only assume she didn't feel comfortable with cloudbee's son riding a horse unless he was rear facing in a convertible seat, with a non-puffy coat.
This is a dick post, what on earth does it contribute? Given that she is tagged in literally every car seat safety post, making fun of that seems a little ridiculous.
It has a dial fit and we got the small. It will really adjust and is easy-to-use.
Horses are a great hobby and tons of fun with lots of options as far as disciplines go. They did keep me out of a lot of trouble though as a teen and are great at teaching work ethic, etc. I consider them a part of my therapy today.
I would caution that they are highly addictive and can drain your bank account!
I can only assume she didn't feel comfortable with cloudbee's son riding a horse unless he was rear facing in a convertible seat, with a non-puffy coat.
This is a dick post, what on earth does it contribute? Given that she is tagged in literally every car seat safety post, making fun of that seems a little ridiculous.
It was kinda humorous and timely. God forbid we don't take ourselves all 100 percent seriously 100 percent of the time.