Sleep help needed for 3m old

[starryfish]

My baby just turned 3m and this week she has slept horribly. She was never the greatest sleeper but I could get 3 hours usually at a time. Now I get 3-4 hours the first stretch (sometimes less), but then after that she is up every 1-2.5 hours. It's exhausting and I just went back to work today. Any tips?

[JRo]

What is she sleeping in? Crib? RnP? Something else? Are you swaddling her? If the crap sleep is recent, have you ruled out something like an ear infection?

[Deleted]

How have her naps been? I bet all the change in routine is affecting things. What do you do when she wakes up? Does she take a paci?

[starryfish]

Mar 16, 2017 19:44:30 GMT -5 JRo said:

What is she sleeping in? Crib? RnP? Something else? Are you swaddling her? If the crap sleep is recent, have you ruled out something like an ear infection?

RnP or cradle bouncer. She hasn't started daycare yet, will on Monday. We haven't swaddled in forever.

She is teething. She has a top tooth that broke through last week. It's been this week that sleep is worse

[starryfish]

Mar 16, 2017 19:45:28 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

How have her naps been? I bet all the change in routine is affecting things. What do you do when she wakes up? Does she take a paci?

Naps have been ok, normal. I usually feed her when she wakes. She normally only eats for 5-8 mins in MOTN but this week she has eaten double that. Growth spurt? Doesn't really take a paci

[lala]

Could be the teeth or growth spurt. Doesn't' really sound abnormal to me.

[starryfish]

Mar 16, 2017 20:16:32 GMT -5 lala said:

Could be the teeth or growth spurt. Doesn't' really sound abnormal to me.

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

[luv2rn4fun]

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:16:32 GMT -5 lala said:

Could be the teeth or growth spurt. Doesn't' really sound abnormal to me.

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

my nearly 6 month old rarely does a 6 hr stretch. Sounds like new routine, teeth, or growth spurt. Both my boys sleep got really bad around 3 months and I ended up sleep training by 4 months. I vote totally normal, unfortunately.

[starryfish]

Mar 16, 2017 20:54:10 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

my nearly 6 month old rarely does a 6 hr stretch. Sounds like new routine, teeth, or growth spurt. Both my boys sleep got really bad around 3 months and I ended up sleep training by 4 months. I vote totally normal, unfortunately.

Thank you. What method did you use at 4 months?

[lala]

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:16:32 GMT -5 lala said:

Could be the teeth or growth spurt. Doesn't' really sound abnormal to me.

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

Likely your mom hasn't had a newborn in several decades and unfortunately, when moms & grandmas chat, only the good stories are told. Which is not to say that your baby's sleep is bad, b/c I don't think it is. Everyone wants the unicorn baby that STTN at 6 weeks. Fact is, that is the abnormal baby. Many - most? - wake multiple times a night for many months. None of my STTN until 2ish. It got much better, w/ awful phases of course.

sorry, not sure if I'm helping or hurting at this point!

[starryfish]

Mar 16, 2017 20:56:38 GMT -5 lala said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

Likely your mom hasn't had a newborn in several decades and unfortunately, when moms & grandmas chat, only the good stories are told. Which is not to say that your baby's sleep is bad, b/c I don't think it is. Everyone wants the unicorn baby that STTN at 6 weeks. Fact is, that is the abnormal baby. Many - most? - wake multiple times a night for many months. None of my STTN until 2ish. It got much better, w/ awful phases of course.

sorry, not sure if I'm helping or hurting at this point!

Yea I figured it was like that (my mom). It makes me feel better to know I'm not alone and not doing anything "wrong"

[luv2rn4fun]

Mar 16, 2017 20:55:29 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:54:10 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

my nearly 6 month old Harley does a 6 hr stretch. Sounds like new routine, teeth, or growth spurt. Both my boys sleep got really bad around 3 months and I ended up sleep training by 4 months. I vote totally normal, unfortunately.

Thank you. What method did you use at 4 months?

Gerber for naps and bedtime.  Worked great with both boys in teaching them to out themselves to sleep and back to sleep when they woke up.  Also dropped feedings to 1 for DS1 and still at 2 for DS2 because he is much worse and I haven't wanted to sleep train again to drop to 1 feeding.

[lifetaketwo]

Mar 16, 2017 20:56:38 GMT -5 lala said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

Likely your mom hasn't had a newborn in several decades and unfortunately, when moms & grandmas chat, only the good stories are told.

This!!! With everything newborn!!! My mom is the worst with this.

[scm1011]

This is pretty much exactly my 4 month olds sleep schedule too, so I commiserate. Once in a while he'll throw me a bone and do all 3 hour stretches, but he's never slept longer than 4.5 hours in a single stretch (and that was like twice lol). My way to survive is to bed share (and kicking DH to the guest room). Its exhausting, I know. Hugs!

[Mrs.flang]

This was around the age I perfected side lying nursing.  It helped me get some rest even though I was awake.

Also the age when we started earlier bedtime and a real bedtime routine, which I don't think really made a difference for us, but it's on all the lists of things to do to get your baby to sleep better, lol.

White noise seemed to help, as did making sure the room is super dark.

Remember, everything is a phase!!

[icedcoffee]

My DS was a nightmare sleeper the first 2 months. At 2 months, my pedi suggested teaching DS to fall asleep on his own since we were still rocking him to sleep at night and each wakeup. It was exhausting and making me really resentful. We moved him to his own room, said I love you, and let him cry himself to sleep. The longest it ever took was 30 minutes. We continued to do the same for MOTN feedings. By about 3 months he was having random nights where he STTN. At our 4 month appointment, pedi told us he no longer needs the MOTN feedings and "unless you want to be doing them for the long haul, I recommend you stop them now". Since his first advice worked we listened and we let him cry for MOTN feedings. Longest he ever cried was 30 minutes. He has STTN the past few nights so I think it's working (knocks on all the wood).

I know CIO is controversial at this age, but wanted to share that it worked for us. My pedi reassured me like 15 times this was not actually CIO though. Also, I am aware that this could all stop at any time. DS seems to still smile at me in the morning so I don't think I've done any long term damage.

Also, your DD may be getting too big for the RNP. DS literally takes up his whole crib. He moves around so much in his sleep. Like a sundial.

[macmars45]

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:16:32 GMT -5 lala said:

Could be the teeth or growth spurt. Doesn't' really sound abnormal to me.

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

My mom seems to have forgotten what newborns/babies are really like as well. I am her youngest and I'm 31 so it's been a while for her. I ignore everything she says about babies that seems to be way different than all my mom/dad friends & sister have told me. I hope you have some mom/dad friends or sisters/brothers with kids that are a little more in the know.

Growth spurt & teething seem like likely answers. And when your DD starts childcare that could be an answer as well (if sleep continues to be an issue).

[starryfish]

Mar 17, 2017 7:31:10 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

This is pretty much exactly my 4 month olds sleep schedule too, so I commiserate. Once in a while he'll throw me a bone and do all 3 hour stretches, but he's never slept longer than 4.5 hours in a single stretch (and that was like twice lol). My way to survive is to bed share (and kicking DH to the guest room). Its exhausting, I know. Hugs!

Hugs to us both. I can't bed share bc she has to sleep in a reclined position

[starryfish]

Mar 17, 2017 8:09:02 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

My DS was a nightmare sleeper the first 2 months. At 2 months, my pedi suggested teaching DS to fall asleep on his own since we were still rocking him to sleep at night and each wakeup. It was exhausting and making me really resentful. We moved him to his own room, said I love you, and let him cry himself to sleep. The longest it ever took was 30 minutes. We continued to do the same for MOTN feedings. By about 3 months he was having random nights where he STTN. At our 4 month appointment, pedi told us he no longer needs the MOTN feedings and "unless you want to be doing them for the long haul, I recommend you stop them now". Since his first advice worked we listened and we let him cry for MOTN feedings. Longest he ever cried was 30 minutes. He has STTN the past few nights so I think it's working (knocks on all the wood).

I know CIO is controversial at this age, but wanted to share that it worked for us. My pedi reassured me like 15 times this was not actually CIO though. Also, I am aware that this could all stop at any time. DS seems to still smile at me in the morning so I don't think I've done any long term damage.

Also, your DD may be getting too big for the RNP. DS literally takes up his whole crib. He moves around so much in his sleep. Like a sundial.

She falls asleep on her own good and die motn feeds she stays mostly asleep and goes back down easily usually.

She has to sleep in a reclined position due to her projectile reflux. Has to until 8m said the GI specialist. She's ok in her FP cradle bouncer (strapped in) and hasn't outgrown the RNP yet. Definitely in the future I will have to try the wedge in her crib when she gets bigger

[starryfish]

Mar 17, 2017 7:31:10 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

This is pretty much exactly my 4 month olds sleep schedule too, so I commiserate. Once in a while he'll throw me a bone and do all 3 hour stretches, but he's never slept longer than 4.5 hours in a single stretch (and that was like twice lol). My way to survive is to bed share (and kicking DH to the guest room). Its exhausting, I know. Hugs!

I think I remember you saying your DH gives a pumped bottle, which feed do you give him?

[scm1011]

Mar 17, 2017 8:38:54 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 17, 2017 7:31:10 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

This is pretty much exactly my 4 month olds sleep schedule too, so I commiserate. Once in a while he'll throw me a bone and do all 3 hour stretches, but he's never slept longer than 4.5 hours in a single stretch (and that was like twice lol). My way to survive is to bed share (and kicking DH to the guest room). Its exhausting, I know. Hugs!

I think I remember you saying your DH gives a pumped bottle, which feed do you give him?

I used to give DH the 1st wake-up of the night, around 11pm, but that was when he was conking out around 8pm. I was heading to bed shortly after. So I'd usually get a good chunk of sleep between 8:30-1:00ish. Since starting daycare, DS has started falling asleep between 5:30-6pm, so that has thrown everything out of whack and I've been taking all wake-ups for a while (partly because I'm having trouble pumping enough for daycare + the night feed). Before he always fell asleep downstairs in our arms and DH would transfer him to me after feeding him at 11-ish, but now we put him up in the RNP when he falls asleep, so he wakes me up first anyway since its next to the bed (and DH is always still awake downstairs) so theres not much point. I may start giving him one of the MOTN feedings again soon because the sleep deprivation is starting to take its toll. 

[starryfish]

Mar 17, 2017 8:54:51 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Mar 17, 2017 8:38:54 GMT -5 starryfish said:

I think I remember you saying your DH gives a pumped bottle, which feed do you give him?

I used to give DH the 1st wake-up of the night, around 11pm, but that was when he was conking out around 8pm. I was heading to bed shortly after. So I'd usually get a good chunk of sleep between 8:30-1:00ish. Since starting daycare, DS has started falling asleep between 5:30-6pm, so that has thrown everything out of whack and I've been taking all wake-ups for a while (partly because I'm having trouble pumping enough for daycare + the night feed). Before he always fell asleep downstairs in our arms and DH would transfer him to me after feeding him at 11-ish, but now we put him up in the RNP when he falls asleep, so he wakes me up first anyway since its next to the bed (and DH is always still awake downstairs) so theres not much point. I may start giving him one of the MOTN feedings again soon because the sleep deprivation is starting to take its toll. 

Yea I hear ya. I'm having a hard time delegating to DH too bc she's on my side of the bed, so she wakes me up, so I figure it's faster for me to feed her.

[Jalapeñomel]

Mar 16, 2017 20:44:12 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 16, 2017 20:16:32 GMT -5 lala said:

Could be the teeth or growth spurt. Doesn't' really sound abnormal to me.

Ok thank you. I figured it was that but my mom made it seem super abnormal and every other mom has babies that sleep like 6+ hours at a time.

Lol. D woke up every 2.5 hours like clockwork for 6+ months. He didn't sleep through the night until 14ish months.

[Jalapeñomel]

Mar 17, 2017 9:07:43 GMT -5 starryfish said:

Mar 17, 2017 8:54:51 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

I used to give DH the 1st wake-up of the night, around 11pm, but that was when he was conking out around 8pm. I was heading to bed shortly after. So I'd usually get a good chunk of sleep between 8:30-1:00ish. Since starting daycare, DS has started falling asleep between 5:30-6pm, so that has thrown everything out of whack and I've been taking all wake-ups for a while (partly because I'm having trouble pumping enough for daycare + the night feed). Before he always fell asleep downstairs in our arms and DH would transfer him to me after feeding him at 11-ish, but now we put him up in the RNP when he falls asleep, so he wakes me up first anyway since its next to the bed (and DH is always still awake downstairs) so theres not much point. I may start giving him one of the MOTN feedings again soon because the sleep deprivation is starting to take its toll. 

Yea I hear ya. I'm having a hard time delegating to DH too bc she's on my side of the bed, so she wakes me up, so I figure it's faster for me to feed her.

Also, start making DH get up for one of the feedings. This is how resentment can build.

[lala]

Mar 17, 2017 8:09:02 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

My DS was a nightmare sleeper the first 2 months. At 2 months, my pedi suggested teaching DS to fall asleep on his own since we were still rocking him to sleep at night and each wakeup. It was exhausting and making me really resentful. We moved him to his own room, said I love you, and let him cry himself to sleep. The longest it ever took was 30 minutes. We continued to do the same for MOTN feedings. By about 3 months he was having random nights where he STTN. At our 4 month appointment, pedi told us he no longer needs the MOTN feedings and "unless you want to be doing them for the long haul, I recommend you stop them now". Since his first advice worked we listened and we let him cry for MOTN feedings. Longest he ever cried was 30 minutes. He has STTN the past few nights so I think it's working (knocks on all the wood).

I know CIO is controversial at this age, but wanted to share that it worked for us. My pedi reassured me like 15 times this was not actually CIO though. Also, I am aware that this could all stop at any time. DS seems to still smile at me in the morning so I don't think I've done any long term damage.

Also, your DD may be getting too big for the RNP. DS literally takes up his whole crib. He moves around so much in his sleep. Like a sundial.

How was it not CIO?

[patches31709]

Something else that helped all of us sleep better was moving DD to her own room right around that age. It's a pain for MOTN feedings, but kept us from waking up to every little noise she made.

[icedcoffee]

Mar 17, 2017 12:27:23 GMT -5 lala said:

Mar 17, 2017 8:09:02 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

My DS was a nightmare sleeper the first 2 months. At 2 months, my pedi suggested teaching DS to fall asleep on his own since we were still rocking him to sleep at night and each wakeup. It was exhausting and making me really resentful. We moved him to his own room, said I love you, and let him cry himself to sleep. The longest it ever took was 30 minutes. We continued to do the same for MOTN feedings. By about 3 months he was having random nights where he STTN. At our 4 month appointment, pedi told us he no longer needs the MOTN feedings and "unless you want to be doing them for the long haul, I recommend you stop them now". Since his first advice worked we listened and we let him cry for MOTN feedings. Longest he ever cried was 30 minutes. He has STTN the past few nights so I think it's working (knocks on all the wood).

I know CIO is controversial at this age, but wanted to share that it worked for us. My pedi reassured me like 15 times this was not actually CIO though. Also, I am aware that this could all stop at any time. DS seems to still smile at me in the morning so I don't think I've done any long term damage.

Also, your DD may be getting too big for the RNP. DS literally takes up his whole crib. He moves around so much in his sleep. Like a sundial.

How was it not CIO?

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure.  He just kept saying that it wasn't truly CIO.  I think he was trying to insinuate that there is a big difference between Ferber CIO and giving your baby a few minutes to try to self sooth and work things out themselves.

We never let him get hysterical.  Mostly just fussy and never longer than 30 minutes (although in general it was less than 5-10 before he fell back asleep).  Maybe my pedi was just trying to make me feel better!

[pinotgrig]

Mar 17, 2017 12:45:47 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Mar 17, 2017 12:27:23 GMT -5 lala said:

How was it not CIO?

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure.  He just kept saying that it wasn't truly CIO.  I think he was trying to insinuate that there is a big difference between Ferber CIO and giving your baby a few minutes to try to self sooth and work things out themselves.

We never let him get hysterical.  Mostly just fussy and never longer than 30 minutes (although in general it was less than 5-10 before he fell back asleep).  Maybe my pedi was just trying to make me feel better!

If checks were recommended, maybe he was differentiating between CIO with checks (Ferber) and no checks / extinction (Weissbluth).

OP - this is normal sleep for a 3 month old. Your mom (my mom does this too), is blocking out all the bad stuff. lol Hang in there and def pass off a feeding to your H.

[starryfish]

spearmintleaf at night she gets really fussy and really knaws on her hands and screams until we put teething gel on her gums. Last night was ok, she did 2 hour stretches and one 3 hour stretch.

I don't know how to swaddle her and keep her safe in a reclined sleeping position in the RNP or bouncer. RNP she might be ok but not for long.

I will definitely make DH help more. He gets up early with her on the weekend and takes her to the living room so I can sleep.

I'm wondering....is it safe for her to be in the rock n play (strapped in) in her room alone? Maybe that way she will sleep better?

[starryfish]

Mar 17, 2017 19:58:22 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

Mar 17, 2017 19:49:08 GMT -5 starryfish said:

spearmintleaf at night she gets really fussy and really knaws on her hands and screams until we put teething gel on her gums. Last night was ok, she did 2 hour stretches and one 3 hour stretch.

I don't know how to swaddle her and keep her safe in a reclined sleeping position in the RNP or bouncer. RNP she might be ok but not for long.

I will definitely make DH help more. He gets up early with her on the weekend and takes her to the living room so I can sleep.

I'm wondering....is it safe for her to be in the rock n play (strapped in) in her room alone? Maybe that way she will sleep better?

Did your pedi ok the teething gel? Mine said there are studies that show that it can be fatal. I looked it up and that does seem to be the case.

How reclined are we talking? We were able to swaddle DD and put her in the RnP. We strapped her in over the swaddle since it's loose around the legs anyway. But frankly a swaddled 3 month old isn't going anywhere so I don't know if the strap really matters unless she'll slide down without it.

I wouldn't put her in her room in the rnp, since being alone is a SIDS risk and RnP is also a SIDS risk (although we did both, just not together unless we couldn't help it). Try the loud white noise. You'll get used to it quickly; now I have trouble sleeping without it.

Ok thanks for the info.

She is in our room now and I had planned on keeping her there until 6m. She loves music and falls asleep to it, I have a sound machine I can move into our room from her nursery.

We used to swaddle her in the RNP, I will try that again.