Help with a challenging student? (behavior)

[theoverlander]

I have a 2nd grade student (E) who is showing some troubling behavior.  She lies constantly about anything and everything.  She is manipulative.  She talks other kids into doing "bad" things.  She is mean, calls names, and pushes/kicks people.  She stares straight at you and does the opposite of what you are saying to do.  When redirected she has a temper tantrum.  Every substitute teacher I have had this year leaves a report saying the class was great, but WOW to E.  

Academically she is fine.  The only time she doesn't do well is when she is mad about something so she refuses or just does the bare minimum.  

I have no support from the school.  There is no behavior plan in place.

I have tried catching her being good, but honestly those are so few and far between it's hard to get more than one or two compliments in a day.  She loves being in charge of other kids, but at this point I can't trust her to help others without being cruel.  She has lost recess, has had to sit at a special lunch table because she was stealing food (she had plenty of her own), has gone to a buddy room to work when she was having a tantrum in here.

I met with mom, who claimed her daughter never had any problems at her previous school.  However, I contacted her previous teacher who said she had "extreme behavior issues" including everything I mentioned above, and said that mom wanted E's record wiped clean before switching schools.  I talked to the psych from the previously school who basically said E is out of control but mom will not support anything the school tries so she had no advice.  I looked at E's file this morning and every report card she has had since K mentioned inappropriate behavior and inability to solve problems. 

I'm at a loss.  How can I help this kid?  She's desperate for attention but can't be trusted.  I'm thinking of setting up some sort of daily check in system but I'm not sure what it would look like and how to get her to reflect honestly.  

[nachos]

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, and not getting any support from any side.

Why isn't your school supporting you in this?

I am an administrator, and if there was a situation like this in my building, I would be forcing mom's hand on this. In my district we support inclusion and believe that every child has a right to an education - but that may look different for each child. I would be insistent on a behaviour plan, an ed psych eval, AND I would be reducing the child's school day. If she cannot behave in the building, then she can't be IN the building for the full day.

Once the behaviours are under control, she could be transitioned back into the classroom full time.

At this point, you need to consider the rest of the students in the class/school.

Other than that, a check/reward system won't work for her unless you can find her currency. Once you find that, it should be easy. Would the mom participate in a communication book that focused on behaviour? Even something as simple as a happy, neutral, sad face system to reflect on how the day went? You could do one, and the child could do one, and compare to see if they're the same at day's end? Do a strike system and remove privileges?

It bothers me that you have no one in your corner on this. I'm sorry.

[UMaineTeach]

A number of ways to solve:
Behavior chart with rewards.
Danny DeVeto in Matilda ‘im smart you’re dumb, I’m big, you’re small, I’m right ,you’re wrong (you are in charge and not bending, not literally saying the quote)
The Little Prince and The Fox, tame her make her need you.
Referral.
PBIS world website.
Ross Greene explosive child/unmet need
Consult with your friendly special education teacher


With neither admin nor parents on your side you are kind of screwed. Try to figure out the function of the behavior and then go from there.

[arehopsveggies]

With my most challenging students, I've sat down and asked them what reward they would want.
Two I can think of off the top of my head- one student wanted lego time. When he was showing the desired behavior he earned on lego. When he got 8 he earned 20 min free time to build.

My most violent student decided that if he earned a reward, he would like free time on the computer instead of morning work. This was amazing at how well it worked- morning work was always review anyway because I'd have 10 or so kids out for intervention. We would start the day on a happy tone instead of a battle over busywork he didn't want to do.

Can you find any "currency" that would motivate her?

[theoverlander]

Thanks for the responses.

One of the reasons there is no admin support is because they have totally bought in to the Leader in Me program and see that as a be all, end all. Everything must tie back to the Leader in Me. If there is a problem it is because we just aren’t using the 7 Habits enough. There are no rewards or consequences, only habits. It’s ridiculous. This (in my opinion) has led to huge staff turnover. We are on our 3rd principal in 3 years. We have all new office staff, psych, counselors, and resource/sped teachers. ALL new this year. The admin who stayed is the #1 Leader in Me pusher.

I’m meeting with E and her mom next week for conferences and hoping that together we can come up with a behavior plan and reward system that works. I’m debating what the categories should be on her behavior chart since it’s all behavior...
Keeping hands/feet/body (she likes to throw elbows) to self?
Being honest (how do I get her to be honest about being honest?)
Don’t steal (there must be a more “positive” way to frame this)
Follow directions the first time given

Would you break this down hourly? Morning vs afternoon? By subject area?

Thanks again!

[lucky3]

I like to stick to 2-3 behaviors goals. I would suggest I was safe with my body; I followed directions with 1 reminder (that could be a developing skill so I would give at least 1 reminder. If you take baseline data for how many extra prompts she needs and work back from there even better)

What is she not being honest about? I would probably try to write the goal without that word because it is so difficult to measure.

I like to take data at the end of each subject as it is a natural transition time. If you have a long la or math block I would initially break it into smaller times and take data after centers, whole group etc

[theoverlander]

Nov 19, 2017 14:03:24 GMT -5 lucky3 said:

I like to stick to 2-3 behaviors goals. I would suggest I was safe with my body; I followed directions with 1 reminder (that could be a developing skill so I would give at least 1 reminder. If you take baseline data for how many extra prompts she needs and work back from there even better)

What is she not being honest about? I would probably try to write the goal without that word because it is so difficult to measure.

I like to take data at the end of each subject as it is a natural transition time. If you have a long la or math block I would initially break it into smaller times and take data after centers, whole group etc

The honesty issue ties back to the stealing and hurting others issues most of the time. She will never admit to doing anything, even if I see her do it. She also blatantly lies about random things - claiming it’s her birthday when it’s not, then doubling down that she celebrates her birthday lots of times during the year. Or claiming that someone did something bad when multiple witnesses say that nothing of the sort actually happened. It’s tough.

[UMaineTeach]

Nov 19, 2017 14:42:16 GMT -5 theoverlander said:

Nov 19, 2017 14:03:24 GMT -5 lucky3 said:

I like to stick to 2-3 behaviors goals. I would suggest I was safe with my body; I followed directions with 1 reminder (that could be a developing skill so I would give at least 1 reminder. If you take baseline data for how many extra prompts she needs and work back from there even better)

What is she not being honest about? I would probably try to write the goal without that word because it is so difficult to measure.

I like to take data at the end of each subject as it is a natural transition time. If you have a long la or math block I would initially break it into smaller times and take data after centers, whole group etc

The honesty issue ties back to the stealing and hurting others issues most of the time. She will never admit to doing anything, even if I see her do it. She also blatantly lies about random things - claiming it’s her birthday when it’s not, then doubling down that she celebrates her birthday lots of times during the year. Or claiming that someone did something bad when multiple witnesses say that nothing of the sort actually happened. It’s tough.

I can ask before taking things.

I can have a safe body.

I can use respectful words.

Then write 1-3 sentences about how you define the behavior. Put natural transitions down for time periods. Only break it down by clock time if the kid absolutely cannot make it through all of an activity successfully.

Try to find the function of the behavior or identify the lagging skills. Is she lonely and looking for attention any way she can, does she not understand social skills, etc. then teach or reinforce as appropriate