My H and I were discussing this the other night, since cannabis was just legalized in Canada. Our twins (only 16 months old right now) will grow up with it being a legal substance just like alcohol. Thankfully we have a long time to figure out how to navigate it. I consume it on a casual basis so it would be hypocritical of me to ban it completely, however I would not be on board with regular use in the teen years, because their brains are still developing.
I would be far more upset with them smoking cigarettes than anything else. I have never smoked a day in my life and watched my Grandmother die from lung cancer, so I have many feelings about it.
I've never smoked anything, so please forgive my ignorance, but doesn't smoking (or vaping?) ANYTHING lead to lung damage? Of course there's a scale of what's worst for you, but it seems like if you smoke a cigarette or you smoke a joint... both would cause lung damage.
That shit is not happening in this house. His father and I are intimately familiar with all that stuff and he can't fool us. My parents were clueless.
My mom was the same, to the point where I've never smoked weed and I'm almost 40. She was like "I WILL KNOW."
Weirdly, she was the cool mom who would always let friends crash at our house if they were drinking at a party so that they had a safe place to stay, but she would send them home in the morning with a hangover and no sympathy. 😂
Not a parent yet, but I think frequency of use, them being safe, age, etc, would all color how I handled it. Driving around and hot boxing a car? No way. Smoking with friends on some weekends during their senior year? Little more lax. I'd prefer they wait, but I would try not to lose my cool if I found out. It wasn't my gateway drug (I started with harder drugs) and I know a lot of friends that just smoked and that was it. Harsh punishment didn't stop any of us from experimenting but it made us sneaky and unable to go to our parents if we needed a ride or anything.
This is how I feel about it. I don't want my freshman doing it yet but I don't think I would be super upset if she did occasionally as a junior/senior. I also think I'd be more upset with cigarettes.
Yes, I'd be upset if it was regular use and same with alcohol or cigarettes but I fully expected her (she's 17) to try these things and I'm not upset that she did. I just hope none of it sticks and she is responsible and not like I was when I was her age.
ETA: She is not allowed to do any of this in our house but we can't monitor what she does at school or out and about with friends. She seems to have a good group of friends but I expect at least some to be curious, my kid included. We've had all the talks and she knows family history with drugs and alcohol but all we could do is hope that she listens and makes good decisions.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Oct 23, 2018 10:41:23 GMT -5
I was a total nerd who never drank until I got to college, and, at 30, still have never smoked weed. On the other hand, H dropped acid when he was 13 years old, smoked a pack a day for about 15 years (he vapes now), and smoked weed and drank pretty much from freshman year on. (Honest to God, it's a miracle he's a highly functioning human being now because his mother is the most permissive mother ever to exist).
We will not be having that shit in our house or in this kid's life.
Post by karinothing on Oct 23, 2018 10:47:37 GMT -5
They are under 18? Or it is in a state where it is not legal? No, they shouldn't be doing it. It isn't even about my kid losing brain cells but the fact that here (where we live) it is illegal. Regularly smoking pot could result in some serious consequences with his life.
I did drugs and drank a lot in HS. It led to a lot of bad decisions.
Post by fivechickens on Oct 23, 2018 10:51:44 GMT -5
Nope. No way. I didn’t smoke pot in HS but I/my friends did drink every chance we got including going to school drunk a couple times. I know the stupid/dangerous shit that can happen because their are kids and don’t think logically. I wouldn’t rage on them or anything like my mom did because that isn’t helpful. I won’t be dumb and think ‘not my kids’ because I know at least one will try it. I have done a lot as a teen so, I think, I have a good idea of what to look for.
Post by aprilsails on Oct 23, 2018 11:09:04 GMT -5
Not regularly, no. I was a very straight laced kid and only tried once(got suuuuper paranoid) and drank on occasion at parties.
For my Brother it was a gateway drug. He smoked pot everyday before school as we walked to the bus. He hasn’t finished grade 9, is as dumb as a bag of rocks (actually- it is very painful to hold a conversation with him) and wound up doing a lot worse. He’s in methadone treatment now and will be forever I expect (and if he isn’t in treatment, I expect him to be dead).
So... yep. It is legal here in Canada now and if my kid thinks that is fun on a Saturday night with friends once a month when no one is driving anywhere that is ok. But that’s it. I will not be lenient with respect to regular use.
It falls in the realm of teenage drinking in that I expect it will happen and I don’t plan to lose my shit if I find out it does a few times at a party or whatever. If I found out It was a daily or even every eeekend I will not be happy. And I do not want it in my home (on a minor), for it to be consumed while you or anyone else who consumed it is driving or in other unsafe situations (you don’t need to smoke up before school or your homework). I will lose my shit in those situations.
I wouldn't be EXCITED about it and like PP would get concerned about regular use but like, a joint at a party? It's going to happen. I live in Missouri so opioids are much more of a concern to be. It's a real crisis here.
ETA: And FWIW, while I was a problematic drinker from teens-my very late 20s, I'm one of the only people I know who has never done any drugs of any kind that weren't prescribed to me and I still am pretty meh about pot.
I've never smoked anything, so please forgive my ignorance, but doesn't smoking (or vaping?) ANYTHING lead to lung damage? Of course there's a scale of what's worst for you, but it seems like if you smoke a cigarette or you smoke a joint... both would cause lung damage.
Exactly! This is why I don’t get the outrage over regular cigarettes v pot. You might smoke less, but you are still doing tremendous damage.
Post by sapphireblue on Oct 23, 2018 14:55:18 GMT -5
It depends on how much "regularly" really means. Once a week? I'm probably okay with that, if not thrilled. Daily? I'd definitely not be happy.
Most pot smokers I know did not use it as a gateway drug, but of course most people that go on to use harder drugs probably also start with weed, so at that age, how do you know which way it's going to go?
I think I would mainly talk about how their brains aren't fully developed yet and it's better if they can postpone this experimentation a few years. That actually worked with me when I was a teen.
Post by penguingrrl on Oct 23, 2018 14:58:31 GMT -5
I would be very upset. I would also be very upset about alcohol use in HS. I was over 18 the first time I drank, and we’ll okder than that when I tried pot. I hope they follow my footsteps and will absolutely punish any drinking or drug use pretty severely. Addiction runs through both sides of my family and my kids are absolutely at risk.
Post by game blouses on Oct 23, 2018 15:26:40 GMT -5
If they still lived in my house, nope, not gonna happen. They will be very aware of what privileges they will lose if they smoke or drink anything while residents of my house. They can experiment with that in college if they want and tell me all about it. Too many adult children I know are allowed to smoke and drink while living with their parents - that’s the gateway effect I’m more concerned about, frankly. Failure to launch due to extreme comfort at home.
Pot would piss me off, but smoking cigarettes would break my heart. My dad smoked and my grandma is dying of lung cancer. My kids know exactly how I feel about smoking cigarettes and there would be no mystery about how I’d feel if they tried it.
It depends on what you mean by ‘regularly’. I regularly smoked pot at parties and get togethers. I did not regularly smoke pot before school, at lunch, right after school, after sports practices etc. Many did. I would not be ok with that.
High schoolers shouldn't have time for "regular" recreational drug or alcohol use. "Occasional" I wouldn't love but would understand. Do your homework! Clean your room! Join a sport! Play an instrument! Find another activity! That isn't unprotected sex!
Post by kitkat1502 on Oct 23, 2018 16:15:08 GMT -5
Yes. We dealt with this with my step-son. Our house rule was no smoking weed in high school...step-son was really defiant with this. Caught him smoking in the house, lying about where he was to go pick up, etc. It was very challenging and he had this "I don't give a shit" attitude about it. He moved into our house because he was smoking at his mom's and she couldn't get him to stop. He eventually moved out after a very inappropriate argument with DH and I'm glad, I was tired of dealing with his defiance especially with a new baby.
High schoolers shouldn't have time for "regular" recreational drug or alcohol use. "Occasional" I wouldn't love but would understand. Do your homework! Clean your room! Join a sport! Play an instrument! Find another activity! That isn't unprotected sex!
The biggest stoners I knew were the top high school athletes in three sports. “Stars” of the teams. There is always time.
I guess it opens on what you mean by regularly and what else was going on. A 17 yo smoking it every weekend with their friends, who were overall good kids, and my kid was staying in school and got decent grades and had goals? Eh. I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't freak out.
A 15 yo smoking on weeknights instead of doing homework, smoking alone, grades suffering and being a general lazy-ass? I'd have a problem with that.
I would get very upset about it. I had a lot of friends in high school who were big pot smokers and I just never saw the appeal. And I don't see the appeal now for my friends who struggle to keep a roof over their heads but won't give up smoking pot to get better jobs, ones that require drug tests. But anyway...I know they aren't representative of all pot smokers but I want my kid to avoid even going near that path for as long as possible. You can find plenty of fun without pot
I’m anti smoking anything as a general rule. I was a college athlete and there’s no way I could have maintained my conditioning and smoked every day. I smoked verrrry rarely because I was always afraid of random drug testing. After my eligibility was up I did a little more, but I still don’t think I could do it every day. I wouldn’t allow my teenager to do it for various reasons, legal or not. It will get expensive, and it’s just not necessary. I wouldn’t want my teenager to eat fast food every day either though, so there’s that.
Post by downtoearth on Oct 23, 2018 22:56:52 GMT -5
I’m not anti-pot, and view it more like alcohol where adults should be fine using it for leisure, but that some are not okay with any use due to genetics and predisposition to addiction.
However, I have young family members with addiction issues (starting at like 12) and major concern/ issues with driving high or drunk, so I would probably easily tie punishment to driving/car access in our kids. My oldest is in 7th grade - honors type kid*, but he already can point out kids with issues with weed/drugs and so we already talk a lot about waiting to try and use weed and alcohol since their brains are not equipped for it yet or developed fully.
ETA prescription pills and meth scare me much more - and I know are both accessible to teens * oh and note of honors is because those are some of the kids he knows who are already smoking weed - honors and excelerated kids (middle class/upper middle class)