2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Random: I'm so excited to have a quiet week to look forward to. Other than therapy today, I have no appointments on my calendar and no obligations other than work. I really need this space to breathe after the back to back to back to back stresses of the past few weeks.
AW: I did my 3 hour glucose test on Thursday, and passed it. Thank goodness that's over and done with.
Vent: I went to see my derm about a mole on Friday. She saw enough warning signs that she recommended removal/biopsy, which they did while I was there. She said it should take about a week to get results.
3. Questions for the group? When did your doctor talk to you about counting kicks? Mine hasn't mentioned anything about it yet, and I forgot to ask at my appointment last week.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? Nope! I bought a bunch of Halloween candy, and I plan on eating it instead of giving it to TOTers.
2. Just tired of the nausea, the theatrics in the name of secret keeping, etc. My ILs came over for dinner on Sat., and it was constant excuses, fake drinking, etc. It drives me crazy that our society stigmatizes loss so much that we really isolate moms to be for the entire first third of a pregnancy until it's "safe" to share, often when they're feeling the worst!
3. I have a situation that I could use some help with. Normally I am one for low key sharing the news, and bypassing "announcements." We never "announced" with my first, we just told people as we saw them and as it came up. I am struggling with how to tell my BFF this time though. WWYD?
PDQ this part, I will later delete details: She and her H are still on a long, hard road to parenthood. **details redacted**
If I don't tell her until like January (after the holidays), I'll be around 20w, and she'll probably be hurt that I hid it so long. I also don't want to try for that, only to have her to find out on FB or IG. I'm going to have to come clean soon, and I know she'll be happy for me, but it'll suck for her. The timing is terrible. How would you do it?
4. I have my first u/s at 7:30am on Halloween, although I don't think that's what you meant I will be 9w. I've been feeling so terrible that we may start sharing the news if all looks good.
Post by greengables on Oct 29, 2018 9:39:01 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week? 15 weeks
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? We announced to extended family on Saturday and work today!
3. Questions for the group? Is anyone planning on using an Owlet (or similar) monitor? I didn't use one with DS1 but am considering it with this baby.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? We went to a pumpkin patch yesterday. DS's preschool has a trunk-or-treat tonight, and then we will go trick or treating in my parent's neighborhood on Wed.
Susie - That's such a tough situation. Could you tell her sooner rather than later? It's still a month before Thanksgiving, so if you told her now it might give her some time to process the news before the holidays, and you wouldn't have to worry about her hearing from someone else as you start sharing with others. I agree with your thought that if you wait until January, she may be just as hurt that you waited so long to share with her than if you tell her now and she has to process it along with everything else that the holidays mean to her.
Post by greengables on Oct 29, 2018 9:40:56 GMT -5
That is so hard Susie. I know it sounds impersonal, but I would consider telling her via text. That way she doesn't have to control her emotions/pretend to be super happy if it makes her sad at first. It will give her time to process the news before you talk to her.
1. How far along are you this week?Apparently we are going to keep my original due date which makes me 8+5. It was only a few days but mentally it makes a big difference.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Had an ultrasound Friday. All looks good! I can relax a bit, which is nice. I am tired of being tired, and not being able to eat dinner.
3. Questions for the group? Apparently I still earn myself AMA status despite being 35 for all of 6 weeks of pregnancy. My doctor mentioned doing an NT scan in addition to the genetic blood test (which is all I did last time) and an advanced anatomy scan. Anything I should know about these? Similarly, any experience with an ultrasound to screen to pre-e risk. She mentioned its checking something about placental blood flow but this isnt something I'm familiar with.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? DS is too young for candy, so there isnt much for us to do other than parade him around to the neighbors.
Susie, as someone who dealt with IF, I urge you to tell her via email or text, not via phone. That way she can process the news alone and in her own time, and not be expect to immediately respond with enthusiasm. I also say this gently (and probably needlessly, but just in case): do not in any way reference your 6 month lack of success in TTC #2 in an "I commiserate with how you must feel" sort of way. I sincerely don't mean this in a judgey way, but that is not in any way TTTC and I would want to throw things if anyone made that comparison to me.
As for the timing, yeah, it sucks that Thanksgiving seems to be the time for shit news in her world. But I think you're probably right that keeping up the charade until January might feel hurtful. I'd probably go ahead and address it if all looks well at your u/s this week (FX!). Good luck. You're a good friend for being mindful of her feelings.
Susie - That's such a tough situation. Could you tell her sooner rather than later? It's still a month before Thanksgiving, so if you told her now it might give her some time to process the news before the holidays, and you wouldn't have to worry about her hearing from someone else as you start sharing with others. I agree with your thought that if you wait until January, she may be just as hurt that you waited so long to share with her than if you tell her now and she has to process it along with everything else that the holidays mean to her.
Good luck at your u/s on Wednesday!
That's what I was thinking about -- she might be on the list of people I tell after the u/s this week?
I know I am way over thinking some of this, but our pregnant mutual friend spent all summer texting me from her OB appts, her GD test, etc.. I was trying to ignore my TTC difficulties at work and be productive, and I felt peppered throughout the day/week with reminders that I had no need for a GD test/etc. I think she just thought since I'd done it before I was a safe vent-ee, but eventually I had to tell her I needed a break from the pregnancy day to day for as long as I wasn't sharing the ride. I don't want to do that to my friend. So maybe a Friday email? I don't think I want to text or call, I don't want her to feel like she has to respond right away. But also not 100% if that's the right route.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I'd been feeling pretty good up until this week. We went to the zoo yesterday and all the walking up and down hills, plus chasing my 2 year old has made my whole body hurt. I am also so, so tired.
3. Questions for the group? Not this week.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? Taking the morning off to go to my son's halloween parade at his daycare, then trick or treating with my sister's family that night.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Nothing new...still exhausted and ready for 1st tri to be over. I'm excited I only have 1 more week of progesterone injections and estrogen patches.
3. Questions for the group? nope
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? I'm excited to take DS ToT on Wednesday. I didn't think he'd really get it this year, but I brought him to my office's halloween party/ToTing last week and he had a BLAST.
3. Questions for the group? Is anyone planning on using an Owlet (or similar) monitor? I didn't use one with DS1 but am considering it with this baby.
No. I had some monitor that a friend gave me for #1 after she had used it, but I never took it out of the box. I asked her if she wants it back for #2 but she's getting a new Owlet. She says she can't sleep without it. For me I think it would just encourage paranoia that I don't need pp. Different strokes I think.
I don't remember which one it was, or I'd offer it up.
Susie - That's such a tough situation. Could you tell her sooner rather than later? It's still a month before Thanksgiving, so if you told her now it might give her some time to process the news before the holidays, and you wouldn't have to worry about her hearing from someone else as you start sharing with others. I agree with your thought that if you wait until January, she may be just as hurt that you waited so long to share with her than if you tell her now and she has to process it along with everything else that the holidays mean to her.
Good luck at your u/s on Wednesday!
That's what I was thinking about -- she might be on the list of people I tell after the u/s this week?
I know I am way over thinking some of this, but our pregnant mutual friend spent all summer texting me from her OB appts, her GD test, etc.. I was trying to ignore my TTC difficulties at work and be productive, and I felt peppered throughout the day/week with reminders that I had no need for a GD test/etc. I think she just thought since I'd done it before I was a safe vent-ee, but eventually I had to tell her I needed a break from the pregnancy day to day for as long as I wasn't sharing the ride. I don't want to do that to my friend. So maybe a Friday email? I don't think I want to text or call, I don't want her to feel like she has to respond right away. But also not 100% if that's the right route.
Also, yay to passing your 3 hr GD test
I think that's a good plan. An email is a great way to tell her, without creating an expectation that she immediately put on a happy face and respond. I see where you're coming from with not wanting to be as overbearing as your friend with the constant updates, but I think that letting her know and giving her regular updates are two very different things. As long as your conscious of how often you're bringing up pregnancy related topics in future conversations with her, I don't think you need to worry about causing her to feel the way your other friend made you feel.
2. Not much going on. I'm feeling pretty good. The past 2 weeks or so I've felt some pressure, but I've been trying to take it easy and rest more and it has mostly subsided. I'm feeling less anxious about the baby coming too early.
3. Anyone have a rec for an affordable (like, under $150-$200) glider or rocking chair? We splurged on one for DD so I want to move that to the baby's room but we still need a place for bedtime stories in DD's room.
4. We're going to DD's daycare parade in the morning, and trick or treating with her cousin in the afternoon. We went to our towns trunk or treat over the weekend and she didn't want to wear her butterfly wings or headband so no one knew what she was supposed to be! I hope she cooperates more on Wednesday!
1. How far along are you this week? 21w3d with twins
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? We're making lots of progress to get the nursery ready and DD's big girl room together (since the crib and rocker are moving out of her room) plus all the random house projects we decided needed to get done prior to babies. So I'm feeling good about that and anxious to just have it all DONE.
3. Questions for the group? Not today
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? Having a small child with some understanding of the holiday is so much fun! She had a Halloween parade at school last Friday, and this weekend we went to the botanical gardens where she decorated pumpkin and rode a little train, and it's all she talks about. We have a neighborhood party on Wednesday before they set the kids loose to TOT. My little Minnie Mouse is very excited to get into costume!
3. Anyone have a rec for an affordable (like, under $150-$200) glider or rocking chair? We splurged on one for DD so I want to move that to the baby's room but we still need a place for bedtime stories in DD's room.
At that price point, maybe a local mom swap / BST board? You could try an ISO post?
We will also be moving DD's glider into the baby's room, but she's a little older and moving to a big girl bed next month. We are going with full instead of twin so there's room for a parent to read stories in bed. Just the last few months I am finding that she does not seem comfortable in the glider anyway. She's fidgety, and doesn't fit next to me as well as she used to.
3. Anyone have a rec for an affordable (like, under $150-$200) glider or rocking chair? We splurged on one for DD so I want to move that to the baby's room but we still need a place for bedtime stories in DD's room.
At that price point, maybe a local mom swap / BST board? You could try an ISO post?
We will also be moving DD's glider into the baby's room, but she's a little older and moving to a big girl bed next month. We are going with full instead of twin so there's room for a parent to read stories in bed. Just the last few months I am finding that she does not seem comfortable in the glider anyway. She's fidgety, and doesn't fit next to me as well as she used to.
This is helpful. I'm trying to hold off on a big girl bed but realize once she is in that we won't have much use for a huge chair in her room! I was also thinking maybe we could just do stories in the babies room and not have a big chair in hers at all. She does have an anywhere chair for herself. The logistics of putting her AND another child to bed is way outside of what I can imagine right now though.
Susie , as someone who dealt with IF, I urge you to tell her via email or text, not via phone. That way she can process the news alone and in her own time, and not be expect to immediately respond with enthusiasm. I also say this gently (and probably needlessly, but just in case): do not in any way reference your 6 month lack of success in TTC #2 in an "I commiserate with how you must feel" sort of way. I sincerely don't mean this in a judgey way, but that is not in any way TTTC and I would want to throw things if anyone made that comparison to me.
As for the timing, yeah, it sucks that Thanksgiving seems to be the time for shit news in her world. But I think you're probably right that keeping up the charade until January might feel hurtful. I'd probably go ahead and address it if all looks well at your u/s this week (FX!). Good luck. You're a good friend for being mindful of her feelings.
Just to be clear, when I said we were commiserating about lack of success TTC, it was on the order of, "oh crap, do you have a spare tampon? Period came earlier than I expected." "Yep, I have a whole stash in the bathroom drawer, help yourself. Not our month either!"
I am crystal clear that our situations are not comparable, not that comparison in this department is ever really helpful. I am just trying to navigate this as kindly as I can.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Had first pre-natal appt last week, saw the heartbeat, confirmed June 1 due date. Got a dump of information about being AMA this time around, which is fun. Genetic testing, MFM visits, and I get to take the 1hr glucose test at 12 w due to history of GD. Yay.
Still dealing with nausea/exhaustion. Trying to get stuff done in the mornings because I am useless in the afternoons these days.
3. Questions for the group? I really want to tell people. I so far have told my running coach and it was so nice to be able to talk through some of these unplanned pg feelings with someone other than DH. When did you tell your older kids? DS is 6. Do people usually wait until after genetic screening is done? I can't remember what I did last time, but I think I told my parents after the first ultrasound confirmed heartbeat. DH is not ready to tell people, I think it makes it all too real for him if other people know and he is having a rough time dealing with it as it is.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? DS's school does a halloween parade every year to our small downtown so that will be fun. And then trick or treating after work/school.
3. Questions for the group? How far along were you when you told your boss/employer? I’ve been putting it off as long as possible, but I also should probably say something before it’s obvious...?
I made an official announcement to work at 22 weeks. I'm probably a bad example, though, because I WFH full-time, so I didn't have to worry about timing it around when I started to show or anything like that.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Had my one hour glucose screening this morning. They made me do it early this pregnancy because DS was 9 lbs 5 oz at birth. No GD with that pregnancy, but they keep making comments about my weight and how big my babies are. 🙄
Also, I’m officially 15 lbs lighter than I was at my first prenatal visit. So I’m getting harassed for not gaining weight, while being shamed for being “obese” and making big babies.
Fingers crossed I pass the screening today so they all shut up.
In happier news, I picked up more baby clothes, a playmat, and activity center from some mom friends. Feeling much better prepared on the baby gear front! My mom wants to throw me a shower for this baby too, which I sooooo appreciate, but I was feeling uncomfortable about registering for expensive gear again (gave everything away after my first 5+ years ago), so I feel much better that I could pick them up second hand.
3. Questions for the group? Anyone have strained relations with in-laws? Mine made our life a living hell after my first was born. I haven’t spoken to them in over 2 years, since I got banned from their house (best “punishment” ever, ha). Obviously don’t want to tell them I’m pregnant again, but I’d love to share the news with his more normal, caring family members, like his cousins. Any tips on how to tell them but have them not share with his parents/brothers? Sooo don’t want to invite drama and stress back into my life. I’ve already announced to my family and friends, but have filtered H’s cousins out of my posts for the time being. His parents and brothers also live in nyc so I’m sure they’ll find out eventually, but ughhh.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week?[/quote] Halloween parade at my son’s school on Wednesday, plus in class Halloween party (which I planned, since I’m class mom)
Then trick or treating! Love trick or treating here since we live in a huge apartment complex. So nice to not wear coats! And soooooo much candy! DS is a weirdo who hates chocolate, so I get most of his. 😊
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week?
Still dealing with nausea/exhaustion. Trying to get stuff done in the mornings because I am useless in the afternoons these days.
3. Questions for the group? I really want to tell people. I so far have told my running coach and it was so nice to be able to talk through some of these unplanned pg feelings with someone other than DH. When did you tell your older kids? DS is 6. Do people usually wait until after genetic screening is done? I can't remember what I did last time, but I think I told my parents after the first ultrasound confirmed heartbeat. DH is not ready to tell people, I think it makes it all too real for him if other people know and he is having a rough time dealing with it as it is.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? DS's school does a halloween parade every year to our small downtown so that will be fun. And then trick or treating after work/school.
#2 - same. Commiseration!
#3 - My DD is younger, almost 3. We won't tell her until we're ready for absolutely everyone in the world to know, so at least 12w and past NIPT results. She's too young to understand or keep secrets so once she knows, so too will the grocery store cashier, etc. We will have already shared with close family before that, with a request to keep it quiet. I will be 9w on Wed, so similar timing as you, and I expect we'll tell her sometime in December.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week?
Still dealing with nausea/exhaustion. Trying to get stuff done in the mornings because I am useless in the afternoons these days.
3. Questions for the group? I really want to tell people. I so far have told my running coach and it was so nice to be able to talk through some of these unplanned pg feelings with someone other than DH. When did you tell your older kids? DS is 6. Do people usually wait until after genetic screening is done? I can't remember what I did last time, but I think I told my parents after the first ultrasound confirmed heartbeat. DH is not ready to tell people, I think it makes it all too real for him if other people know and he is having a rough time dealing with it as it is.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? DS's school does a halloween parade every year to our small downtown so that will be fun. And then trick or treating after work/school.
#2 - same. Commiseration!
#3 - My DD is younger, almost 3. We won't tell her until we're ready for absolutely everyone in the world to know, so at least 12w and past NIPT results. She's too young to understand or keep secrets so once she knows, so too will the grocery store cashier, etc. We will have already shared with close family before that, with a request to keep it quiet. I will be 9w on Wed, so similar timing as you, and I expect we'll tell her sometime in December.
Lol, yes I know once DS knows so will all friends at school, his teacher, favorite grocery lady, everyone. I know waiting until 12 weeks at least is best, I just am bursting to tell him because I think he will be so excited. And at least someone else in this house should be, since DH is not.
Post by pinkalicious on Oct 29, 2018 11:21:28 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week? 18 weeks
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I failed my 1 hour glucose test miserably. Now I have to go sit at the lab for the 3 hour test. I'm so thankful that I'm pregnant (we didn't think it would happen) so I try not to complain, especially since I've had a relatively easy pregnancy so far. But I'm going to complain about this. I hate needles and I'm so sick of being poked. I just want to be able to enjoy carbs and sweets, damn it! Also, I just want to feel my baby move. I know because of my weight it probably won't happen for another couple weeks, but I want to feel it now!
3. Questions for the group? Has anyone failed the one hour test and then passed the 3 hour?
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? Nothing, just passing out candy to the kids. This is the first time in our almost 14 year relationship that we will actually get trick or treaters- lived in an apartment and then a condo. I'm weirdly excited to get to do this. Also, hoping to meet some of our neighbors this way.
2. Feeling pretty good, a lot better than last week. Baby has lodged himself in my diaphragm and under my ribs so I have a feeling I've still got a while to go. Kid needs to learn directions and get moving south. Dr appt tomorrow so I'll see if I've progressed from 0cm last week.
3. I have a general fear that I'm forgetting something - so for everyone who has done this before, is there anything you realized afterwards that would have been helpful before baby arrived?
4. Avoiding Halloween since it's our last one without a kid! I need to keep the candy out of the house or I'll just eat it all, so we'll probably go out to dinner. It's supposed to be a nice day so maybe we'll walk around the neighborhood.. too bad I cant partake in the adult drinking stations a lot of people have in their driveways!
3. Questions for the group? Has anyone failed the one hour test and then passed the 3 hour?
I just went through this, and I totally understand how you're feeling. I failed my 1 hour, but took the 3 hour on Thursday and passed it. From what I've heard, both on this board and IRL, it's incredibly common to fail the 1 hour. I actually know more people who failed it than passed it, and almost all of them went on to pass the 3 hour.
My biggest suggestion is hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. I drank a bunch of extra water the day before, and the extra hydration made the blood draws so much easier. They also let me drink water while I was there, so I made sure to keep sipping on it throughout the test time to make sure I didn't end up dehydrated by the time I got to the later draws.
Susie good luck with your friend. I agree with others to share soon and not over the phone. I went through IVF and had a loss prior to this pregnancy, and have a friend going through the exact same now and I still don't know how best to communicate pregnancy things with her. Try your best to be there for her as a friend and let her dictate when and how much she wants to discuss the situation. I know it's incredibly difficult on both ends.
1. How far along are you this week? 20w4d, a little over halfway there!
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Anatomy scan and fetal echo this Wednesday, yay! Baby kicks are getting stronger but DH says he still can't feel them yet. Being sick while pregnant sucks. You can't take anything good, and you pee when you cough too hard. The other night, I went through 3 pairs of underwear because of coughing spells. I think I'm finally getting over this crud.
3. Questions for the group? Nah.
4. Any fun Halloween plans this week? We've been to 3 fall festivals over the last couple weeks. We're invited to a trunk or treat and a party on Wednesday. We'll likely go to the party.