What are your biggest flaws?

[gozf]

In honor of Liubit's interesting relationship with the truth and her inability to take constructive criticism, what are your biggest flaws? And what, if anything are you doing to correct or eliminate them?

Me?

-I have a wicked jealous streak, which is really hard to actually lose, but I've gotten better about how it manifests. I don't freak out, and I can talk myself down pretty well.

-I'm flighty, and sometimes that comes across as self-centered. I'm easily distracted and forgetful. I've taken to writing myself lots of notes and setting up calendar events in my phone.

-I'm messy. Not dirty, but messy. I leave little piles of things around. Shoes. Cardigans. Scarves. Things start to pile up, and then get out of hand. I'm really, really, really trying not to let that happen in the new house.

-I can be a gossip. It sucks. I generally think of myself as a kind person, but I'll get sucked in if people around me are participating. It's mean, and I've taken a step way back.

How about you? What's wrong with you?

[bullygirl979]

I can be slightly neurotic at times. I have a REALLY hard time letting things go. Which leads to...

I WAY over analyze stuff. Like, I will beat a horse until it is dead 50 ways to Sunday if I don't understand something. For issues 1 and 2 I am working on self talk to bring myself back from the ledge as well as not try and understand other's actions. I am trying to make their issues be their issues.

I can have a quick temper. I wish I was more even keeled. I have learned to walk away when angry, count to 10 and also think about how my words/actions are going to affect the person I am dealing with.

I have a horrible time seeing the bad in people. This tends to cause me to get taken advantage of and hurt at times. Now, I am trying to view people without so much emotion in play as well as take their past behaviors into consideration.

ETA: reading fail (another flaw, haha!). I updated my answers as to how I am working on them.

[chrissie3416]

I overanalyze everything to death and always assume the worst.
I dont trust easily at all.
I wear my heart on my sleeve at the same time though...so I can get attached to people quickly and then easily get hurt.
I tend to keep things to myself if things are bothering me and then they fester and one day I just explode...

[bowies]

I'm a homebody and I'm shy. These are far and away the two qualities I'd most love to change. It makes me sad that I don't have more IRL friends.

Related to the above - I suck at keeping in contact with people. Out of sight, out of mind. FB was supposed to be designed for people like me, but I'm not into it.

I'm inherently lazy, which leads to messy.

I can be bossy with my loved ones. I've worked a lot on this one.

ETA: I used to be overanalytical, but it's like I used up my lifetime supply with XH. Poof, all gone!

Babies intimidate me. I've never held one.

I also get terrible road rage, but people drive like assholes around here.

[jaksmom8808]

I too have a Jealous streak but usually there has to be reasoning for it. I've worked really hard on this but at the same time I am not so relaxed that I overlook things.

I come across as being very stuck up but that has come from years of being hurt by men and by friends. I'm trying to trust more and if it came down to it, I would help out my friends in a heartbeat.

I am very absorbed by my child and it has hurt relationships in the past. I'm giving him more independence and he's getting to an age where he is asking for it. It's getting there but 4 yrs of making your child your life cannot be broken overnight.

[udscoobychick]

I'm messy, and I avoid cleaning like the plague.

I have a tendency to do the things I want to do, rather than the things that I need to do, which I feel shows selfishness and immaturity (e.g. read a book instead of clean).

I am SO impatient. I am even MORE impatient with myself--I have incredibly high expectations of myself and tend to beat myself up if I don't meet them.

I like to be in control and have things planned out--I tend to think that my way is the right way to do things, and I am guilty of not letting others help me with tasks (this was huge in school...not so much in my personal relationships).

ETA: I'm painfully, painfully shy, which can come across as being stuck-up or aloof when I'm uncomfortable in a new situation.

I also suck at keeping in contact with people who I don't see regularly.

[emma245]

I am way too hard on myself.

I stress out about everything especially my health and money.

I am a total people pleaser which is part of the reason I put with so much SH@# from my EXH and have problems saying no to people. Im working on that.

I have terrible road rage but who doesnt who lives in LA??

I have poop issues too, MCC! Which probably contribute to my health concerns because I always feel sick......

[lookingup]

I tend to be lazy. It's really easy for me to sit for hours watching TV or surfing the internet, but I don't really feel good about it. Also, I procrastinate. I've been working on these things lately, though.

[Bernadine]

I can be really moody.

I'm terrible at accepting criticism.

I have trouble standing up for myself.

Very inpatient.

[stephbfan]

I procrastinate way too much. I even procrastinate things that are very important. That is one of the things I would really like to change.

I'm quick to write people off way too easily. You do something that I don't like, I stop talking to you without giving you a chance of making it up.

I can be messy. I promised myself that I would get a small apartment so it could be easier to keep it clean, well the dishes in my sink are telling me that I'm not doing a good job at it.

I second guess myself all the time. I always need to have someone's opinion if I'm going to do something i.e I hate going shopping by my self.

[gozf]

Oh, I procrastinate, too. Like, a LOT!

[udscoobychick]

Procrastination is another one of mine, too. Serious bad habit there!

[roselis]

-I have jealousy issues as well. I am trying to work on it.

-I am always second guessing myself too. I joined H&G forum because I wanted others opinions. My kitchen help thread is a great example

-I open up way too easily so I end up getting hurt a lot. But at the same time...

-I am always expecting the worst in people. I was always thinking XH might cheat again. I am always thinking that my friends will betray me again.

[doriswe]

I'm a terrible procrastinator and I always tell myself I work best under pressure.

I under sell myself and have a really hard time taking compliments.

I try so hard to see the good in people that I'm often stabbed in the back. At the same time, I really struggle to trust people and let them in to my world.

When change happens my initial reaction is to freak the hell out and I usually lose my shit. Once things calm down I can see things clearer and realize I freaked out about nothing. I'm working on that one!!

ETA: Gossiping....I do a lot of this and sometimes I run with things that are sort of fact based when I should just shut my mouth.

[marigoldgirl]

I am a big procrastinator.
I am shy and do not like to leave my comfort zone. I can be perceived as a bitch because of this.
I am horrible at paying bills and budgeting. I always pay them but will get late notices to often.
I have a hard time finishing projects. I love the planning stages of things but get lost in the execution of said plans.

[kaneen]

Procrastinator.

Overanalyzer.

I need lots of positive reinforcement. I think of that as a flaw because I think I need too much of it.

I'm seriously lacking patience.

[heavenly]

-I overthink things too much
-I am hard on myself
-I can be a procrastinator
-I am like a batmobile, pretty cool from a distance and get too close, I clam up.
-I like to hide my mess lol!

[Lauren88]

-I am also very messy. Not dirty but always have clothes all over the place until I get tired of it all and go crazy straightening up.

-I am a control freak and like things my way. I also like to get my way. I'm really working hard on this because this was a major issue in my marriage and I hate being like that. I think it's cause I'm the oldest child

-I am super critical of my body and am very self conscious because of it. I'm trying to work on this but since my separation I've been turning to food. I need to learn to love myself again.

-I'm also really jealous.

-I am also flighty with people. Like I'll suddenly think of something, cut the person off and start talking about whatever that is. Also trying to work on that.

-I'm super lazy sometimes. Like I'm perfectly content sitting on the couch most of the weekend catching up on my shows on the dvr.

[naeljun]

I always belittle myself.

I'm lazy

I'm messy, probably because I am lazy

I don't think before I speak at times

I can be selfish

[bowies]

Oh, I forgot my biggie: I have zero self-confidence in how I look. I avoid cameras like the plague, and if my picture happens to be taken, I sit there and obsess over every single flaw. I think I'm thebomb.com in every other respect though. This line of thinking is baked in at this point - Lord knows therapy never helped - so I've learned to accept this as my quirk.

[jade28]

I am easily distracted and get lost in my head. It takes a lot for me to focus on a conversation or one task. I am your typical "head in the clouds" person. I am working on it by meditating (staying in the present) and just stopping my thoughts so they don't distract me from the present moment.

I over think and beat a dead horse for sure. Actually, I post here when I am obsessing b/c then I get called out and told to just stop. That helps until I can make myself stop on my own.

I have a hard time letting go and accepting change but I am getting more at peace with that.

[Deleted]

I'm super sarcastic.
Super opininionated
and i like to be in complete control always.

[jojoandleo]

Where to start:

Right there with you on the jealousy. I side eye women H works with the first time I meet them, or any woman who has contact with him. I get over it a LOT faster now, but that moment of "Who is this bitch?"still pops up. The girl he works close with now I love-she is a shining example of being a friend of the relationship.

Messy-yeah, I don't clean, I have never mowed a lawn in my life and I don't plan to. I have been known to just buy more underwear rather than do laundry.

I have a generalized anxiety disorder and I have the ability to catastrophize ANYTHING. Everything leads to death, destruction, cancer, failure, etc. When I get in this mood, I am doom and gloom.

I am horrible about communicating plans. I am forgetful, and I plan convos in my head and then think I have actually had them when I have not. This has caused a fight or two. Especially when I make plans for the two of us...

I have to finish a fight. I can "give space", but while I am giving that space, I am just getting amped up with more arguments in my head about why you suck and I am right. Once the fight is don, though, I am good at forgiving and moving on from it. Unless it has to do with aforementioned jealousy.

I am self-absorbed, I like to talk about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Deleted]

I procrastinate with important stuff, like studying for my recert exam, or continuing medical education credits. I like to dilly dally instead of doing important stuff.
I tend to over analyze situations which creates extra anxiety for me.
I think I complain too much, so I'm trying to be more positive.

[hobs209]

I'm always late. Oddly enough, it's not because I have a blatant disregard for people's time, but because I try to pack too much in and am horrible at actually estimating how long it will take to do things. I'm trying to be more realistic about what I can do, and when.

I used to be inherently distrusting. This actually doesn't stem from relationships, but they haven't really helped matters. Now I try to look at things more logically and trust someone unless they've given me a reason not to.

I'm awful at folding laundry. It has always been my least favorite task. My ex used to do all the folding and I have to say, that was awesome. Now I try to do smaller loads so I have less to fold at one time. It doesn't usually work out that way.

I laughed when W called me emotionally numb, but I really am not very emotional. I am a master at bottling my feelings. This is probably what I'm working on the hardest in life and it's my main goal in therapy right now. I am just trying to actually feel things right now, but it's hard.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 13:58:12 GMT -5 udscoobychick said:

I'm messy, and I avoid cleaning like the plague.

I have a tendency to do the things I want to do, rather than the things that I need to do, which I feel shows selfishness and immaturity (e.g. read a book instead of clean).

I am SO impatient. I am even MORE impatient with myself--I have incredibly high expectations of myself and tend to beat myself up if I don't meet them.

I like to be in control and have things planned out--I tend to think that my way is the right way to do things, and I am guilty of not letting others help me with tasks (this was huge in school...not so much in my personal relationships).

ETA: I'm painfully, painfully shy, which can come across as being stuck-up or aloof when I'm uncomfortable in a new situation.

I also suck at keeping in contact with people who I don't see regularly.

This is me to a T. Now looking back on it I can majorly see how this hurt my relationship with my x-bf, I would always come up with an excuse not to hangout with his friends or family because I always felt like I didn't fit in with them. I also have this thing about my body that in my head I always thought I was going to be biggest girl there (even though I am not really big I am not thin either), I felt like they'd all be staring at me. Looking back I should have just let it go and went with him. But then again looking back I should have done alot of things different in my relationship.

[blackkitty]

I'm sensitive, not meaning that I get my feelings hurt easily but that is true to but in many aspects. I'm sensitive to loud noises, I have a heightened sense of smell, really all of my senses are higher than the average persons. I am also sensitve to people, like their auras and moods. They affect me more than most people. I can feel other people's pain (I guess like highly emphathetic) It's hard b/c it's hard to block out without actually blocking people out.

Also I have a tendancy to not want to address my problems or feelings and turn to people and things outside of myself (you know like food) to fix problems. And that is never the solution.

[achase123]

I can be overly critical of myself and others.

I fear coming across as desperate in any way with guys, therefore I go to the opposite extreme and will write someone off too easily (sometimes) or appear aloof. That's why I get opinions on this board a lot of times, to make sure my thinking is correct.

I have a difficult time relaxing.

I am probably too fanatical about eating right and working out. I rarely give myself a break and enjoy food.

[farfalla2011]

- jealousy...most of this stems from some deep rooted insecurities that I've always had (even as a kid). It is most apparent when there is a woman around who has characteristics that I wish I had, but know I'm just not wired that way. I've come a long way in this. I just work on telling myself that I am the way I am and there is nothing wrong with it.

- procrastinate...I tend to work well under pressure. I try to do things ahead of time, it just never happens. I don't normally miss deadlines, so I guess until that happens I don't see it as much of a problem, although, I know that quality drives my boss crazy!

I know I have a lot more flaws...just can't think right now....

[dakotadangerdog]

I'm an oversharer. It's something I'm definitely working on. Sort of lol.

I suck at talking about my feelings.