DD turned 3 in late August and has recently dropped her naps completely in the past month. Over the past 10 months she was tapering down and skipping so this wasn’t surprising. However, she has just completely stopped sleeping. She is staying up for hours after we put her to bed (like from 8:30-10:30!) and is just so tired and a mess and we are struggling to figure out what to do.
First of all, our daily schedule for her is a bit late- it always has been- she only wakes up at 8am since DH goes into work late since he works with a company and their head office is on MST and we are EST. I work construction so I go into work for 7:30 and pick her up from daycare at 5 (latest pickup time).
Daycare has been stopping her from napping the past month since on days when she naps she will easily stay awake until 11:30. So that is obviously no good. I go to bed by 10:30.
She is always super sleepy when I pick her up at 5 but as soon as I get food into her she perks right up. She is generally pretty easygoing but then she goes into full meltdown mode as soon as we start the bedtime routine. She starts crying that she doesn’t want to sleep and doesn’t like it. She is still in her crib with no side up but that’s mostly because we don’t want to get her a new bed or redo her bedroom until the Spring when we will move to a new house. She likes her bed and will happily play in there she just doesn’t sleep! She asks to take books to bed now and will flip through them for hours. She freaks out if we turn the night light off.
DH is a total night owl and MIL says that him and his brother did the exact same thing at this age. I just dont like it since she looks tired all the time (like has actual bags under her eyes tired). I don’t know what to try.
Oh yeah- given the opportunity she will sleep in until 10, so it’s not like she doesn’t need the sleep. She usually watches one Sesame Street while I get dinner ready but then after that we stick to playing in her playroom and reading, etc. We have a bouncy castle we set up in the basement and she can be physically tired to the point that she’s just lying there immobile but then as soon as it is bedtime she winds up again and will stay awake for another hour.
Potty training is a whole other disaster since she just says she doesn’t want to(will happily pee or poop in her underwear still). She’s smart but strong willed and stubborn. Ugh. She is so not my personality.
With my kids, I found that there was a sweet spot for bedtime and if we missed it, it was torture. At that age, once they dropped naps, my kids needed a good 12 hours of sleep. So they were in bed by 7:30 each night.
I know it sounds counter productive but could you move her bedtime up?
We are trying to do bed for 8:30 so that she would have almost 12 hours of sleep. I might try earlier again tonight since DH is out. She drags her heels like hell getting ready for bed and generally are lucky to get her in there for 8:45.
We have tried getting her down for 8 a couple of times but she still stays up late. Maybe 7:30? DH only walks in the door at 6:45 so she is tends to wind up again at that time when we eat dinner.
Post by countthestars on Dec 6, 2018 9:26:09 GMT -5
I'd try for earlier for a while - even if you have to feed her before you and your H eat. I'd be shooting for 7pm bedtime to see if that helps. I've read some articles that suggest that by 8, you've missed the window for when they should be in bed.
*note that I know how much that sucks since your H won't have much time with her in the evening.
When my dd naps at preschool is doesn't sleep either. I give her melatonin a few times a week so I'm not fighting her for hours. With half a tablet of melatonin she is out in like 20 minutes and sleeps all night. Our dr. is okay with it as long as it isn't every night for weeks on ends.
I don’t have any advice but I can commiserate. DD has been fighting bedtime hard lately. So much so that last night she punched me in the boobs on purpose because she was mad at me for saying it was bedtime. She knows that would hurt me since I’m breastfeeding and a,ways tell her to be careful because my boobs hurt 😞. She also has a late bedtime because H is in charge of it and he’s a night owl and he can’t get her in bed before 9:30. A 7 PM bedtime would be impossible in our house.
Anyway, I’m following for advice. I’ll have to ask out pedi about melatonin.
If you try for an earlier bedtime you may need to try keeping the lights around the house low for a while beforehand (easier in the winter, at least). I also have a night owl child and we spend about 30 minutes before she falls asleep in her room progressively dimming her light down to nightlight level before she gets into bed. I am convinced it helps her transition as when we're out and about there seems to be no limit to how late she'll stay up.
When my daughter dropped naps, bedtime was 6:30pm. Sometimes 6pm. We basically never saw her on daycare days. It wasn't great but it was better than an exhausted three year old.
When my dd naps at preschool is doesn't sleep either. I give her melatonin a few times a week so I'm not fighting her for hours. With half a tablet of melatonin she is out in like 20 minutes and sleeps all night. Our dr. is okay with it as long as it isn't every night for weeks on ends.
We've done this when DS (3.5) goes nuts at bedtime. Usually just 2-3 nights in a row gets him back on track and we don't need to use it for long.
I agree with trying to move bedtime up -- maybe she's overtired? If I miss my window with my son, he's up til 10 or 11.
I have on rare occasion used melatonin to help my oldest snap out of a bad cycle. It is very effective, and we are able to just do it for a few days and then she's back into her normal routine.
I would also recommend an earlier bedtime. We put DS1 down at 7:30. He does often stay awake for awhile, usually not falling asleep until 8:30ish, but he gets to sleep in like your daughter and is generally up between 7 and 8 and seems well rested. He also still takes at least an hour nap everyday.
Otherwise, I would discuss trying melatonin with your pediatrician. But I'd give the earlier bedtime a shot first.
Our evening suck with their bedtime. We're often not home until 6, which means throwing food on the table for them, then a quick bath or letting them play for 20 minutes, then bedtime. But I do feel like they get enough sleep and they both get in bed relatively easily at that time.
How do y'all get your toddlers to bed at 6:30? Luckily, my son is a pretty easy going kid and apparently doesn't need as much sleep as other toddlers, but the earliest he goes to bed is 8:00 and that is if all the starts align.
If she's melting down when you start the bedtime routine, she's already exhausted and it's too late. Start bedtime earlier.
Not too long ago we had a few realizations about DS1's behavior. He was melting down all the time (or it seemed like it). But he only melts down when he's tired and/or hungry, so we focused a lot on making him eat (as in keeping him at the table because he's easily distracted and would rather play even when he's hungry), and not letting him stay up too late. He's been much better lately.
We've also been experimenting with our evening routine and we have found that our kids definitely need both some time to play and some time to unwind by themselves before bed. For DD (age 5), we let her color for 5-10 minutes after stories before lights out. For DS1, usually his unwinding is snuggling with me in his bed for a couple of minutes, which is really just him telling me about his day or having me "talk" his stuffed animals with him. There's been so much less stalling since we started this.
Sleep makes a huge difference. My neighbor started giving her daughter a half a melatonin gummy when she was around 5. She’s out like a light when she takes it but does the same thing if she doesn’t. She’s a night owl like her mother.
Post by dutchgirl678 on Dec 7, 2018 14:39:16 GMT -5
My kids are 7 and 10 and still in bed before 8. If my youngest stays up too late, it is really hard to wake him in the morning, he really needs 11-12 hours of sleep. If she is melting down, she is overtired.