Post by anastasia517 on Dec 6, 2018 18:10:15 GMT -5
I had a friend tell me after Christmas that she found out Santa wasn't real in Grade 4. I was 9 and still wanted to believe, so I didn't say anything. My mom talked to me when I was starting middle school two years later. I was sad it wasn't real, but I didn't even think of it as a lie. I was more concerned that I wasn't going to get tooth fairy money after finding out she was fake, since I lost most of my baby teeth really late.
DH, my sister, and his sisters also all believed a pretty long time. Our parents were really good about it (Santa had different wrapping paper, mall Santas were helpers, etc.) so that helped. The fact that Canada also has a specific postal code for Santa (H0H0H0) and you get a letter back if you write to him may have also contributed. I do know that there was only one kid who openly didn't believe even in Grade 3 though, so maybe I'm just from a town of naive people. *shrug*
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Dec 6, 2018 19:14:17 GMT -5
This reminds me of that episode of This American Life about the logical, but absolutely wrong conclusions about something. One woman, in her youth, had seen her dad doing Santa stuff and came to the conclusion that her dad was actually Santa. So she told her best friend, who then had her mom confirm that Santa was really friend's dad. Mom played along for years.
I don't remember believing in Santa. I mean, I assume I did but I think I figured it out on my own relatively young. I don't think j was Al happily believing then all of a sudden jy parents were like "guess what."
Post by penguingrrl on Dec 6, 2018 20:41:44 GMT -5
I don’t understand that being a lasting scarring thing. I started to doubt in 3rd grade, but wasn’t truly sure until 5th, when my 13 year old sister got an “I still believe in Santa” nightshirt for Christmas. I never told my mom I knew the truth. I think she assumed I knew by that point, but I was holding out hope.
The one time I did ask her she turned it back on me and asked if I really thought she would buy me all that stuff, so that kept me believing for a while.
Post by UMaineTeach on Dec 6, 2018 20:48:18 GMT -5
I asked a lot of questions, but they were met with good answers or a simple mmm. my parents have never flat out said does not exist. There was no big reveal or talk. Not traumatized
I remember being sad when my slightly older cousin told me, but certainly not traumatized. She still claims she didn't do it but she definitely did.
Are we cousins? Mine is still mad 30 years later. Get over it, Jennifer!
Anyway, it’s my mom who is traumatized because the nuns called all the parents in my class the Christmas before we had first communion - I was 7 - and said if the parents didn’t tell us about Santa before the sacrament, they would. My mom told me but she was PISSED. And the sister who was my teacher never followed through on her threat for kids whose parents didn’t, which made mom even more mad. She’s still angry, lol. I was fine but I also already didn’t believe in God, so...shrug. I did tell little cuz first thing though.
I remember several years of questioning and plotting with my sister to catch our parents in the act. Spoiler: we always fell asleep.
I have no memory of finding out so it couldn't have been too traumatic.
A terrible teacher at my school outed Santa in Meeting for Worship a few years ago. He went on and on about the commercialism of a made up dude while the rest of us helplessly watched the 5th graders find out. It was bad.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
My trauma was because a teacher told us at school in the second grade because during religious reading a kid answered, “SANTA!” in response to her question about the meaning of Christmas.
But I remember a magical Santa moment in 4th grade so she didn’t successfully steal the magic.
I was not upset. I think I still believed but I have always been pretty logical and practical about things so I don't think it was a huge surprise either. I think I was kind of like "oh that makes sense". I think I was 7 or 8.
My sister was super betrayed and horrified. She does Santa with her kids, but she plays it down a lot more than my parents did and most gifts come from Mom and Dad vs from santa. I think her childhood trauma influenced this parenting choice.
I was deep into the doubting stage (writing secret letters) when my parents finally told me. They got tired of sneaking around at 2 am. I hold no lasting grudge. That’s weird. I’m happy I got to have the Santa experience.
My parents made me tell my brother when he was in either 2nd or 3rd grade. He had no clue and didn’t believe his source. Joke was on my parents, they had to do the Santa thing one more year and then broke it to him themselves.
I was 7 when a neighbor (only child of teachers who were boring) told me. We had a big argument over it and I ran home crying. My parents and siblings tried to tell me that he was real, because I wanted him to be real. I was furious with the neighbor (she felt awful), and over 50 yrs later, Santa is still real and brings presents/stockings to us and anyone who is with us on Christmas morning.
I have issues with people lying to me or keeping secrets, (don't even think about throwing me a surprise party), but I never felt like anyone really lied about Santa. I felt more like they gave me a lifetime gift of magic and wonder.
I never had a conversation with my parents, but I do recall overhearing my mother talking with an aunt about hoping we would believe for one more year. I liked the nice open presents and full stockings so I never said a word about overhearing that conversation. I really don't remember ever completely believing. This might have to do with the fact that my parents wanted a girly girl...and I was more of a tomboy and taught my brother some of the more "male" tricks. They were also both alcoholics so this might have influenced my ability to believe in magic presents. I, however, was imminently logical and knew I got more presents with Santa than without.
I was sad but fine. I found out around 6 years old, I was bugging my mom endlessly while she was trying to sleep so she admitted it and I cried. My mom and I never spoke of it again and she continued to write from Santa on the gift tags. DH said he was angry and humiliated because he was lied to and he didn't want to do Santa for DS because of that. I told him hes overreacting.
Well last year Santa came to our house as a thing our neighborhood does, and it was a surprise and DS keeps mentioning how I lied to him about santa coming. I feel like DH was right and I dont know what to do about the Santa thing. Hes 6 and if we tell the truth he will tell his whole class cause hes like that so...I guess I have to lie in this bed.
But dang it Iove santa and christmas! What's with these guys?
My sister told me when she found out from a classmate in 1st grade. So she, of course, told her sister (me), who was a year & 1/2 younger (not even in KINDERGARTEN yet!). Sis told parents “we knew” so I played along, even though I was convinced she was wrong, & they were gonna set her/ us straight. 😢 I still kinda hold it against her, but she’s super-Christian & doesn’t do Santa with her kids, so I’m pretty sure this plays into my (not so??) deeply buried resentment...
I can remember the exact moment I was told Santa wasn't real so I think it's safe to say it was a major moment in my childhood and not in a good way. And somehow I didn't put it together that this also meant the tooth fairy wasn't real until I lost a tooth while my mom was out, fell asleep before she got home, and saw it still there in the morning. I'm okay with being upset about Santa but the tooth fairy I can't blame anyone but myself for.
I believed for a really long time, like maybe until 10 or 11? When I was in first grade, my mom died. In second grade, my dad took my brother and me skiing for Christmas. Santa came to the condo we stayed in, and left a lovely note with beautiful handwriting that definitely was not my father's. I had my doubts about Santa, but that confirmed his real-ness for me. We weren't staying in a hotel and I couldn't put together -- in my 7 year old, grief-stricken head -- how my dad could have had someone else write the note.
Turns out, my second grade teacher wrote it. While she was on vacation. With us. NO WONDER MY DAD PUT US IN SKI LESSONS ALL DAY!
More traumatizing than realizing that Santa was fake, was learning all of this ^^ when I was 27. I had no idea.
Wait your teacher went on vacation with you and you didn’t know it at the time? I feel like there are more details to this story.
My parents didn’t emphasize Santa that much. Most of our gifts were from them, aside from stockings and a present or two from Santa. I was the youngest and I don’t even think I have any photos of me with Santa when I was little. I was always a skeptic though. I clearly remember being 4 and my 6 year old sister insisting she woke up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and saw Santa in our house. I didn’t believe her because I didn’t think Santa was real. I don’t remember when I found out for sure. It was not memorable or traumatizing. I think I pretended to believe just in case until I was 7 or 8, but I remember going to see Santa around then with my friend and her little brother and I totally knew he wasn’t real by then.
I remember being sad when my slightly older cousin told me, but certainly not traumatized. She still claims she didn't do it but she definitely did.
Are we cousins? Mine is still mad 30 years later. Get over it, Jennifer!
Anyway, it’s my mom who is traumatized because the nuns called all the parents in my class the Christmas before we had first communion - I was 7 - and said if the parents didn’t tell us about Santa before the sacrament, they would. My mom told me but she was PISSED. And the sister who was my teacher never followed through on her threat for kids whose parents didn’t, which made mom even more mad. She’s still angry, lol. I was fine but I also already didn’t believe in God, so...shrug. I did tell little cuz first thing though.
LOL... We're not cousins if you went to Catholic School (or if your cousin is named Jennifer), but it's interesting to know this kind of thing is common in cousin relationships!
I am being honest when I say, I still believe in Santa a little bit and am a bit like Linus in the Great Pumpkin. Maybe Next Year he will come. But it's more I equate Santa with the magic of the holiday than I feel there is a real red man with 8 lady reindeer in the sky.
I swear it.sounds less immature and insane when I tell you this in person
My family never did the Santa thing. They focused more on the evils of Christmas...like how a wreath is rooted in Wiccan symbolism or a Christmas tree is an idol. Nonsense like that. We didn't have any sort of magic around Christmas for a long time.
Things are different now. They've left all those beliefs behind and are very much into the Christmas Spirit. I don't know if they do Santa for their grand kids or not.
I remember at the time being devastated. Not because he wasn't real, but because I thought that we wouldn't get Christmas presents any more.
I never got to come to the slow realization that he didn't exist, or the months of speculation as to whether or not he was real. When I was in 3rd grade my teacher would give us a list of vocabulary words every week that we would have to look up (in a dictionary LOL) the definition and write it down. Right before Christmas, our teacher gave us a list of Christmas words to define. Santa Claus was on that list. I was doing my homework with my best friend and we looked up Santa Claus and read the definition "a fictional character". Being only 8 years old, we then had to look up the definition of fictional. Man did that suck. We still talk about it to this day. And oh boy did that teacher get in trouble, many, many angry parents called the school the next day because he had ruined Christmas for our entire class LOL
Last Spring, my daughter, who was 11 y/o at the time, point blank asked me if Santa was real and so I told her no. She didn't seem particularly troubled by it and was actually excited to be able to help out with the elf. My H is still kind of mad at me that I was honest with her, he would have preferred the "magic of Christmas, Santa is who you want him to be" answer, but whatever. My son is 10 y/o and just stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy, but hasn't said word one about Santa, so we'll see if we make it through this holiday season with my last believer.
I think (from my unscientific research lol) that the grudge holders are generally people who really believed and who were told about Santa as believers vs kids who figured it out on their own.
When I figured it out my mom was worried I’d not trust them anymore and kept reassuring me that they didn’t lie about anything else which was unnecessary.
I think I believed at one point in time, but have no recollection of when the change happened. Santa (aka Father Christmas!) did stockings and maybe one other toy for us, parents always did the big gift.
When I was little, my dad was the Minister at an inner-city church. I remember my parents always talking to us about how lucky we were and that a lot of kids wouldn't get many gifts for Christmas so we shouldn't show off or talk to the other kids at church about what we got. So I'm sure that spilled over into Santa not bringing big stuff as how would Santa bring big stuff for us and not for our friends.
I'm not sure I was ever convinced of the whole thing. I remember testing the theory one year by telling my parents I wanted to give Santa a gift too so I left my favourite stamps on the table with the cookies and milk. I knew my parents knew how much I loved the stamps and that they wouldn't keep them from me (whereas Santa would just take the gift not knowing their significance). So when I woke up in the morning and my stamps were still there with just some stamped paper to show Santa had played with them, I knew my parents were behind it all So to my reaction was more "Hah! I tricked them!" as opposed to "Hey, they tricked me!"
My parents still write stuff from Santa lol. I was fine when I found out he wasn’t real.
My parents still do this too. Along with gifts from "The Hanukkah bunny" under our "Hanukkah Bush" (aka Christmas tree) and gifts from the pets, lol.
I very specifically remember thinking Santa probably wasn't real and so I asked my dad matter of fact--"dad, someday I am going to have kids and I need to know if I need to buy them gifts or if Santa does it." I think I was in second or third grade? He explained that Santa may not be real but the spirit of santa is what is most important, etc.