Anxiety and child counselors

[supertrooper1]

DS is having anxiety issues again at school. I went back and found my thread from a year ago and there were many good suggestions but none of them work anymore. We're looking for a child counselor at the moment but I'm having trouble finding one that is accepting new patients. Until we get him into counseling, I'm looking for more suggestions on how he can deal with his anxiety.

DS has focused his anxiety on "popcorn words".  3 days a week at lunch, the teacher plays a video with basic site words.  When the kids are done eating lunch, they can grab a white board and write the site words down.  He has been reading for 2 years now and knows all of the site words and can spell and write them.  His anxiety is due to he feels the need to memorize the order of the words and see a pattern.  The school counselor and teacher have been working with him and things will work for a short time and then he worries again.  The last idea was to give him a list of the words in order.  We got him a worry workbook that he worked through, drawing worry bugs, etc.  He created an imaginary worry box to put his worries in, but now he says it is broken.  His teacher is concerned.  His school counselor says that because the site words are easy for him, he needs a way to keep the rest of his mind active, so he feels the need to memorize the order and discover the "pattern".   

As for counselors, which would be a better option; one that specializes in cognitive therapy or play therapy? 

Here is my thread from a year ago:

pandce.proboards.com/thread/589305/help-me-ds

[waverly]

I believe cognitive behavior therapy to be more helpful. It looks like a lot of places combine the two. 

akafred usually recommends this, and I haven't seen her in a while. I am assuming she is buried under deadlines. The anxious toddler website (covers more ages than just toddlers). They also have podcasts about child anxiety. www.anxioustoddlers.com/ It is a great resource for anxiety.

[2chatter]

So...DS is me!! I play little games like that all the time and used to really stress myself out. It actually helped me to embrace it all in fun. Before that I just felt neurotic. Recognizing I was doing it helped.

[mommyatty]

I would say it might help not to reward the worrying with positive reinforcement. It sounds like he’s getting a ton of attention for worrying. Maybe instead the teacher should give him a fun popcorn word challenge or ask him to remember the words and then use them to do a word association. Give his brain something to do besides dwell out of boredom and don’t jump on the fix it train if he gets anxious about this.

If I could give a message to myself in college, I would have said to get a degree in child psychology and open a chain of clinics. Because I don’t know anyone who can ever find a child therapist who is taking new patients. I would be a bazillionaire.

[mustardseed2007]

Cognitive therapy is all about breaking into negative thinking cycles, which seems really apt here.

Other than that I don't have good advice. DS works stuff up in his mind to the point that he can't cope. So for him not making a big deal about things does help, but your DS' anxiety is based on stuff he's making up, which is different. I hope the right therapist helps you!! Poor little guy.

[traveltheworld]

When I looked into it for DS, it seemed like cognitive therapy would be a better fit. But I'd think a lot would depend on the actual therapist.

[campermom]

Dec 7, 2018 18:44:06 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

When I looked into it for DS, it seemed like cognitive therapy would be a better fit. But I'd think a lot would depend on the actual therapist.

This. I'd contact your school counselor or school psychologist and straight up ask them which therapists in your area they would recommend for kids with anxiety.

Oh and to answer your question, for this I'd look for a therapist who specializes in CBT over play therapy, but more specifically CBT for kids. 

Some good books are What to Do when you Worry too much.

Does the school counselor do any groups or classroom lessons using Zones of Regulation or Social Thinking? There are some great CBT related concepts such as "The Size of the Problem". 

[vasc]

Is this popcorn word activity the only trigger he has at school currently? I’d be tempted to just ask the teacher if there’s an alternate way he can participate and show his knowledge of popcorn words in lieu of what sounds like a rapidly timed activity. Sometimes the best thing to do in an anxious situation is to just avoid the situation...that is a valid coping mechanism. Of course you don’t want it to snowball into a bigger habit of avoiding ALL situations that could trigger anxious feelings, but if it’s literally this 5-minute activity that is ruining his day, I’d just say “Look, for whatever reason this activity just brings out the worst in DS...can he do something else?”

[sandandsea]

Would something physical help like a squeeze ball? Ds has some anxiety but expresses it physically with movement and wiggles. Having a squeeze ball and special movements pad to sit on have helped him.

[supertrooper1]

campermom, thanks for the book suggestion. The school counselor had recommended 2 initially, who were not taking new patients. He recommended two more and I'm waiting to hear back from them.

vasc, currently the popcorn words are his only trigger. But if it wasn't that, it would be something else. He has been taken out of class to eat lunch with the counselor and he's been allowed to sit in the corner. Unfortunately, those are only temporary fixes and he's right back to worrying about the video. She doesn't want to stop doing it all together because the videos are great for the other 23 kids in his class.