2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? It seems like 1st tri exhaustion is going to last until the end this time. I'm still napping when DS is on weekends and heading to bed by 9pm every night. I guess I should get all the sleep I can before baby arrives?
3. Questions for the group?
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? I feel very fortunate that I get 16 weeks paid this time around (with DS I took 12 weeks unpaid). I had a meeting with HR last week and I guess the first week is unpaid (I can use vacation/sick time) and THEN I get my 16 weeks, so I'll be taking 17 weeks total. I actually learned I can take up to a year if I want (the rest will be unpaid), but I don't see that happening since I'm the breadwinner. It is nice to know I have some flexibility if I need it though.
DH is a teacher and I'm due June 2nd so he'll likely take a week when DD arrives, head back for the last few weeks of school, and then be home for the summer. We plan to go to Spain for a week or 2 in August to take advantage of our overlapping time off.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week?
Just chugging along. I decided to paint the bookshelves in the nursery, so that will keep me occupied for this week. I'm so anxious to finish the nursery (I may say this every week!) but I'm waiting until after my showers, so I still have a month or so. Speaking of which, there's been some drama surrounding the shower my ILs are throwing, so that's fun.
3. Questions for the group?
2 unrelated questions: 1. If this isn't your first, did you do maternity photos? If you didn't, did you regret it? If it is your first, are you getting maternity photos?
2. Theres an outdoor concert (lawn seating, can bring chairs etc.) that I want to go to in late June. Is that something people would bring a baby to?
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well?
I'm taking 16 weeks, H is taking 10 weeks. H's will be split up over the beginning and end... not exactly sure how yet.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? OB appt this week. Still slowly cleaning out the nursery.
3. Questions for the group? Why does my belly shrink in photos?! lol
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? H is taking one week, and half time the second week. Sporadically coming home early after that. I SAH.
pandorica I took maternity photos. I love them. I plan on doing family photos this time, probably around 30 weeks. I think I was 33 last time? I stopped feeling cute and just large a couple of weeks later, lol.
pandorica, I did not do maternity photos and I have no regrets. I preferred to wait for newborn photos. And yes, I think its completely appropriate to bring a newborn to a concert like that.
Post by icedcoffee on Jan 22, 2019 10:14:15 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week? 10w5d
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Everything smells like shit to me. Sleeping in the same bed with DH is killing me. He smells so bad. My kid was crawling all over me yesterday and I had to leave the room. I thought I was going to die. My sense of smell is so hosed up. It's quite miserable.
Otherwise, I'm getting my blood drawn for my cell free DNA test on Friday! I am nervous, but excited.
3. Questions for the group? Don't think so.
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? Maternity leave is a bit of a sore subject for me. At my last job they switched the policy right after I got back from ML to be 12 weeks fully paid instead of 6 (fortunately I had enough leave that my whole 16 weeks was fully paid so not the end of the world, but it was annoying). I left that job in March. My new job has no ML. Just FMLA where my job will be held for 12 weeks. Otherwise I need to drain my leave and take unpaid leave. So, I guess 12 weeks where at least half of that will be unpaid.
DH doesn't get anything. He didn't last time either. Last time he took 4 days off. This time he'll probably do something similar. His job is super flexible anyway so if I need him to stop at home mid day he totally can.
I didn't do maternity photos with the first. I don't really regret it. I do think that I might want to do a "maternity" shoot this pregnancy though with DS. I think it would be cute and if I feel really fat and gross I can use DS as a prop. LOL
I think I would bring a baby to an outdoor concert. I'd probably just bring a lawn blanket for it. My biggest concern would be if it's too loud (they sell headphones if it is) or too hot (can you bring an umbrella/shade)? Otherwise it sounds baby friendly.
icedcoffee , I'm sorry. I had a similar scenario with DS (although I had even less leave to apply since we couldn't carry over vacation/sick days). It sucked and I was bitter. Maternity leave was actually a leading factor I considered when job hunting last year (I legit looked up open positions with the companies on the Working Mother Top 100 Companies list).
Also, curious for 2nd+ time moms, if you currently send your kids to daycare, will they continue? DS will continue at daycare for a few reasons 1. we'll have to pay for it anyway or lose his spot, 2. to keep a sense of normalcy/routine and 3. the idea of entertaining him while also nursing a newborn every ~90 minutes sounds impossible. His days will definitely be shorter and I'm sure we'll keep him home from time to time to do trips to the beach or whatever, but I'm so relieved that I won't be juggling both.
icedcoffee , I'm sorry. I had a similar scenario with DS (although I had even less leave to apply since we couldn't carry over vacation/sick days). It sucked and I was bitter. Maternity leave was actually a leading factor I considered when job hunting last year (I legit looked up open positions with the companies on the Working Mother Top 100 Companies list).
Also, curious for 2nd+ time moms, if you currently send your kids to daycare, will they continue? DS will continue at daycare for a few reasons 1. we'll have to pay for it anyway or lose his spot, 2. to keep a sense of normalcy/routine and 3. the idea of entertaining him while also nursing a newborn every ~90 minutes sounds impossible. His days will definitely be shorter and I'm sure we'll keep him home from time to time to do trips to the beach or whatever, but I'm so relieved that I won't be juggling both.
It sucks. I have to keep reminding myself that the raise I got more than makes up for the unpaid leave and having IVF covered this time, but it's annoying. There is a small chance maybe my boss will donate some leave to me, but I'm not holding my breath. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm pregnant in a couple weeks.
DS is totally going to daycare. Having him home while on ML sounds so miserable. I honestly can't imagine. I don't even know if I can say his days will be shorter (except when I plan to leave the baby with H and take DS for ice cream). LOL #motheroftheyear
icedcoffee , I'm sorry. I had a similar scenario with DS (although I had even less leave to apply since we couldn't carry over vacation/sick days). It sucked and I was bitter. Maternity leave was actually a leading factor I considered when job hunting last year (I legit looked up open positions with the companies on the Working Mother Top 100 Companies list).
Also, curious for 2nd+ time moms, if you currently send your kids to daycare, will they continue? DS will continue at daycare for a few reasons 1. we'll have to pay for it anyway or lose his spot, 2. to keep a sense of normalcy/routine and 3. the idea of entertaining him while also nursing a newborn every ~90 minutes sounds impossible. His days will definitely be shorter and I'm sure we'll keep him home from time to time to do trips to the beach or whatever, but I'm so relieved that I won't be juggling both.
It sucks. I have to keep reminding myself that the raise I got more than makes up for the unpaid leave and having IVF covered this time, but it's annoying. There is a small chance maybe my boss will donate some leave to me, but I'm not holding my breath. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm pregnant in a couple weeks.
DS is totally going to daycare. Having him home while on ML sounds so miserable. I honestly can't imagine. I don't even know if I can say his days will be shorter (except when I plan to leave the baby with H and take DS for ice cream). LOL #motheroftheyear
lol, I'm glad to read this because I'm getting some side-eye from family members and I was starting to feel defensive. DS is in daycare longish days right now (7-5:30ish), but he will sleep in/veg in the morning on weekends so I'm guessing he'll go more like 9-5 instead. I honestly can't imagine having him home either, especially since he is so obsessed with me. I honestly fear for the safety of the baby a bit.
Post by oceanstbride on Jan 22, 2019 10:37:16 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week? 26+4
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Booked weekend away with DS in Feb. and weekend away with H only in March. Hoping to get a lot of what's in the nursery out this week so we have room for a fresh coat of paint and get the crib back in.
3. Questions for the group?
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? My plan is to take 12 weeks. I have very little benefits because I work part time. It is unpaid, but I'm hoping I can use vacation/sick time to get paid for most of it (I have 7 weeks). DD's daycare spot doesn't start until September and I should be out from May to July. H's employer (which also happens to be mine) recently started a 4 week paid parental leave, so he will be home with DD for the month of August. It will hopefully all work out timing wise.
pandorica I did maternity photos with one of our wedding photographers, but they were just ok. I never actually did anything with them. We did do a one year package with a photographer who did newborn, 3m, 6m, and 1 year photos. I much prefer the photos with DS, but maybe my view is skewed because the maternity photos weren't that great. If you want them, get them!
It sucks. I have to keep reminding myself that the raise I got more than makes up for the unpaid leave and having IVF covered this time, but it's annoying. There is a small chance maybe my boss will donate some leave to me, but I'm not holding my breath. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm pregnant in a couple weeks.
DS is totally going to daycare. Having him home while on ML sounds so miserable. I honestly can't imagine. I don't even know if I can say his days will be shorter (except when I plan to leave the baby with H and take DS for ice cream). LOL #motheroftheyear
lol, I'm glad to read this because I'm getting some side-eye from family members and I was starting to feel defensive. DS is in daycare longish days right now (7-5:30ish), but he will sleep in/veg in the morning on weekends so I'm guessing he'll go more like 9-5 instead. I honestly can't imagine having him home either, especially since he is so obsessed with me. I honestly fear for the safety of the baby a bit.
Haha. My SIL is due at the end of June and her kid is in daycare that only runs the school year and I made a comment to my mom that it's terrible timing that older kid will need to be home for the whole ML and I would lose my mind and my mom was like "uhhh...that's how most people's ML is". Whatever. I want to spend the time with just the baby. Sue me
ETA: We will definitely let him sleep in, but otherwise he'll still go for mostly full days.
icedcoffee , I'm sorry. I had a similar scenario with DS (although I had even less leave to apply since we couldn't carry over vacation/sick days). It sucked and I was bitter. Maternity leave was actually a leading factor I considered when job hunting last year (I legit looked up open positions with the companies on the Working Mother Top 100 Companies list).
Also, curious for 2nd+ time moms, if you currently send your kids to daycare, will they continue? DS will continue at daycare for a few reasons 1. we'll have to pay for it anyway or lose his spot, 2. to keep a sense of normalcy/routine and 3. the idea of entertaining him while also nursing a newborn every ~90 minutes sounds impossible. His days will definitely be shorter and I'm sure we'll keep him home from time to time to do trips to the beach or whatever, but I'm so relieved that I won't be juggling both.
DS is in a Kindergarten with daycare hours (7-6) and will continue to go normally. He'll go to the summer camp there like he normally does. H suggested sending him part time to camp (I think to save money), but I would go nuts trying to juggle the needs of a newborn and 6 year old. I'm considering sending him 4 days/week and having a dedicated day he stays home with me and DD. But honestly the only reason I'm thinking about that is to help him bond with his sister and he starts 1st grade in September which I know will be busy.
ETA: I completely understand that I am lucky that we can afford to do this (although $ will be tight). I stayed at home with DS until 15 months and since my time at home with DD will be much shorter, I want to try to enjoy it with her as much as possible.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Nothing really. Making some progress on the nursery. My mom did send me these adorable classic Pooh swaddles from Aden and Anais. Love them!
And a friend offered to throw a diaper and gift card shower for me, so I'm totally grateful for that! Now I'm waiting until after that to make my big order from Amazon.
3. Questions for the group? Nah
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? I'm planning to take 12 weeks leave beginning 2 days before my due date, then come back part-time. 6 or 8 weeks will be paid through STD, so 65% of my base pay, then the rest will be paid through our parental leave program, also at 65% of my base. Since part time hours will be ~66% of my full time hours, we're perfectly okay with this. I'm just glad to not have to use all my PTO like last time.
DH will take 2-4 weeks depending on vag delivery vs c-section. His company allows him to take up to 12 weeks, but it's frowned upon. I don't want him to take that much anyway. And he WFH so he'll be around.
E is totally going to daycare. He needs the structure and routine, and I'll need time with the baby.
2) Anatomy scan this Friday-excited to find out the sex.
3) How long did it take to get your AFP test results back?
4) Same as last time with DD, I’m planning on taking about 5.5 months. I’ll be using some annual and sick leave, but most of it will be unpaid. DH just found out that his company has changed their paternity leave policy from 3 days to 6 weeks, so we need to think about how to best use that.
I didn’t do maternity or newborn pictures last time. Undecided if I want to do them this time.
DD is absolutely going to daycare while I’m on leave.
Post by aprilsails on Jan 22, 2019 11:06:35 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week? 5W 5D so still very early days.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? My Sister has a good NST yesterday so she is telling everyone. I’m super excited that we might be just 8 or 9 weeks apart.
3. Questions for the group?
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? I’m in Canada so I have a lot of options. I could do 12 months at 30% of my annual income, or up to 18 months with the same amount of money spread out. We’re not interested in the 18 month option so will likely stick with 12 months. DD will just be starting kindergarten 2 weeks before the baby is due so she will be out of the house most of the day until the summer.
scm1011 , We use an in home daycare, and have to pay $100/week to hold our spot. That covers 2 full days + ten dollars a week. My daughter will be going for those two full days. I wish I can send her every day since I'll be home with newborn twins, but because I just found out I'll be on bedrest before delivery, we need to save the money.
1. How far along are you this week? 30+3 with twin boys
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Started weekly iron infusions yesterday. I was able to take a nice nap while sitting in their comfy chair. Also, H narrowed down our list of top 12 names we'd agreed on to just 7 names, so a little progress there LOL. My vent this week is I have a yeast infection, my doc called in the prescription yesterday at 1 pm, and one of them won't be ready to later today and the other one not til tomorrow. I feel like I need to change prescriptions. 3. Questions for the group?
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? H doesn't get a leave He hasn't been there for a year yet, so also doesn't qualify for FMLA. With DD, he was with me in the hospital on Thursday and Friday, stayed home Monday and was back to work on Tuesday (so took 3 days). He has 4 sick days left for the year and two weeks vacation. He'll probably stay with me in hospital then depending on NICU, may go back to work until the babes come home. As for me, I just found out yesterday that my OBs will probably not let me work til I go into labor anymore. Now they are talking writing me out of work at 34 weeks. I have 17.5 sick days left. Once I use those up, rest is unpaid. Disability will only kick in after I use up my sick time, and only at 40% for 6-8 weeks post delivery. My plan is to take the 6-8 weeks, and return to work for the last month or less of school year. I'm the breadwinner, we just bought a brand new minivan, and going from 1-3 kids is hella expensive.
Ok now I feel validated that others are sending their older kiddos to daycare during leave! I just want to chill with the baby instead of balancing that with the needs of my needy AF toddler lol. Everyone who has given me the "wait, what?" reaction were SAHMs so maybe they're just jealous lol.
pandorica, I kind of did maternity photos... in that we paid DH's niece (who is a burgeoning photographer) to take pictures of us and our family for me to use as maternity/Christmas cards. I never did the cards, lol.
I did do an official maternity shoot the first time, no regrets.
And that definitely sounds like an event that babies go to, but I would keep away from speakers and make sure it's not too hot. It would like be a game day decision for me, but I live in a very hot area.
Ok now I feel validated that others are sending their older kiddos to daycare during leave! I just want to chill with the baby instead of balancing that with the needs of my needy AF toddler lol. Everyone who has given me the "wait, what?" reaction were SAHMs so maybe they're just jealous lol.
I assure you I really wish I could afford to put C in part time care. Thankfully MIL is retiring in a couple of months.
H is home sick today and heard me ask C if he was going to be totally independent and self sufficient by June. H pipes up, "yeah, you're fucked." Thanks dude!
2. I ordered the bicycle fabric for DS's nursery, so I can start on picking paint and making curtains. Hoping that will start to make it feel real.
3. No questions today.
4. I'm taking 8 weeks off, then 4 weeks WFH, with full time return at 12w. Calvin hasn't committed to a specific plan yet, it depends on how much leave he has and what our needs are. I would like him to take a week or two around delivery, and then he may need to help cover the gap between my return to work and our infant class start date (may be anywhere from 0 to 5 weeks, daycare has been nonspecific) which is stressful. With DD, we got on the wait list in late 1st tri, and had a ~2 month gap. This time we told daycare the day I got a BFP, plus DS will have priority as a younger sibling of a student in the program. I was really hoping that would mean a gap that would be definitively shorter, but it is what it is.
pandorica , I did not do maternity photos last time, although I was a BM in my brother's wedding at 34 weeks pg. So there are pro pics of me pregnant, and that sort of lessened my need for pro maternity pics. I'm not planning pro maternity pics this time either, although I do plan to do pro family pics at some point in DS's first 6 months. I have been DIYing all along for Hobbes but would really like to be in some.
scm1011 , Hobbes is staying in FT preschool for sure! I don't want to give up her spot or mess with her routine, plus soloing a newborn + 3.5 year old while recovering from birth sounds rough. Hell, I already lined up MIL to come help me on the daycare staff day in late June when I would be home with both of them!
pandorica - I am not doing professional maternity photos, but my H is pretty good with a camera and snapped some nice ones on our babymoon. I’d rather save my $$$ for newborn/first year photos because those are the photos I’ll actually use/display later on. To each her own of course!
Yeah we are definitely doing newborn/first year photos, I'm just trying to decide if I should squeeze in maternity too if it's not too late. I don't know that I'd actually display maternity photos once we have newborn etc. so it's probably worth it to save the money. I just don't want to look back and regret it!
Thanks all for the concert comments. We can take an umbrella, and I've never been to the venue but I assume we can sit back far enough that it's not super loud. I didn't want to look like the bad mom for taking my baby somewhere totally not be baby friendly or something! She'll still be pretty young at that point though, so it could still be a game time decision on how we're feeling about it (and if we can get a babysitter).
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week?
See below. *sigh*
3. Questions for the group?
We had our anatomy scan yesterday and for the most part everything went well, but the Dr (a high risk MFM) did share with us two potential issues: there are calcification deposits in both his heart and in his liver. The one in his heart COULD be considered a marker for down syndrome, but we had both PGS testing on the embryo (we did IVF) which is considered a little over 98% accurate and also NIPT testing, both of which came back negative so it is highly unlikely that is the issue here. The liver calcification, however, COULD be indicative of a developing infection like toxoplasmosis or CMV. The Dr. stated clearly that she is not overly concerned, and that we shouldn't be either, and is also not recommending any further testing until after the next ultrasound (again with the high risk Dr. in 4.5 weeks.
OBVIOUSLY I'm concerned. It took us so long to get here, I'm so sad that we just can't seem to get to an easy spot in this pregnancy. It's also such a rare issue that it's difficult to get a good handle on the statistical probability of there actually being an issue like a serious infection. The only way to rule out infection entirely is an Amnio, which the Dr. is NOT recommending at this point but said she would do if we really wanted it.
Any hair pats or anecdotes you all want to offer would be greatly appreciated.....
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well?
We both get 8 weeks paid, and I can take an additional 8 weeks of STD (which comes out to about 58% of my pay. I'm planning on taking 12 weeks (barring any complications, see above) and then DH will take 4 weeks when the baby is born and another 4 weeks when I go back to work. I'm also planning on taking a week vacation in October and again in December.
Post by cherryvalance on Jan 22, 2019 12:23:51 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week?
I think 34w6d. I'm having a harder time keeping track this time than I did with DS.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week?
Growth scan tonight, which should be fun. We should get another 4D, too, so we can see if she still looks like DS. Can't wait!
3. Questions for the group?
No
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well?
I can finally participate because I'm on leave!
As a teacher, I don't get maternity leave. I'm entitled to use 20 sick days before and after birth and then unpaid FMLA. I have a STD policy that will pay roughly 60% of my salary, plus NJ offers state leave for which I'm eligible. My H's job doesn't offer leave, so he'll be taking PTO for a weeknor two after birth. I return to work in May for health insurance.
Thanks all for the concert comments. We can take an umbrella, and I've never been to the venue but I assume we can sit back far enough that it's not super loud. I didn't want to look like the bad mom for taking my baby somewhere totally not be baby friendly or something! She'll still be pretty young at that point though, so it could still be a game time decision on how we're feeling about it (and if we can get a babysitter).
You could always do the ear muffs for babies. I took my son to a college football game at 3 months, complete with crowd noise, cannon firing, band, etc. With the ear muffs on, he took a nap and didnt wake up at all. We also used these for a long plane trip at 7 months. I highly recommend (and I need to find them...).
Baby Banz Earmuffs Infant Hearing Protection – Ages 0-2+ Years – THE BEST EARMUFFS FOR BABIES & TODDLERS – Industry Leading Noise Reduction Rating – Soft & Comfortable – Baby Ear Protection www.amazon.com/dp/B007BEHSDU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_0k1rCbN7T1S69
Post by cherryvalance on Jan 22, 2019 12:31:00 GMT -5
DS doesn't go to daycare, but he is going to my mom's house twice a week while I'm on leave. I need to rest and want some time with the new baby, plus it's consistency for him. He'll be doing partial daycare in the summer when the baby is older.
woowoo, no experience but I'm sorry you're worried. I think the NIPT and PGS results are solid, though.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Still not sick, knock on wood! I could use several naps though.
3. Questions for the group? Nothing right now.
4. What's your maternity leave plan? Is your partner taking leave as well? I get 12 weeks fully paid, and I have 5 weeks of vacation. We’ll see what HR let’s me do. What DH does will depend on if he’s working. :/ He’s been out of work since June.
woowoo, I'm sorry for the additional stress. Think about the positives... you already know the baby's genetics to about 99% accuracy. And you'll get to look at your baby again!
Also, doctors have to tell you what they see, even if the risks are small. And they have to tell you why they want an additional scan. If they didn't, you would be mad at them for not informing you, right? I was nervous about having a fetal echo done, because IVF increases the risk of cardiac abnormalities. I went to the echo, and it was fine, and I was able to calm down about that. (Of course, I'm freaking out about other things but unrelated to this topic).