What age do you end aftercare?

[waverly]

DS will be 9 next school year. Personally I would prefer he be a little older to stop aftercare, but just wondering.

Logistics- school ends at 3:15. Bus arrives home at 3:40. I would be home at 5. I still have to pick up DD from aftercare so it’s not saving me any time.

The price for 3-5 days a week if aftercare is the same. For a price reduction he would have to attend aftercare a max of 2 days a week.

Daycare goes down $100 a week anyway next year since both kids will be in full day public school, so it’s not a huge price issue. More of a maturity, try something new, schedule thing. It is possible that I leave work earlier 2 days a week and stay later 2 days a week and DH is usually home of Fridays. I’m just not sure how much effort I would want to put into it for a $40 a week price difference. DS’s general feeling in aftercare is it’s ok. Some days he doesn’t really like it, some days he has a blast. It is also good for him to have a place to go after extracurriculars which are really only 1 day a week because we don’t want to overload on that.

I’m planning to sign him up for 5 days a week and play by ear dropping down to 2 days a week. Just curious when others drop to part time aftercare or nix it altogether.

[rere]

I went back to work FT in January I think when DS was 10. He turned 11 in April. They got off the bus at 3:05 and I get home around 3:45. I never had any issues. It was actually nice because they did their homework before I got home on their own. We were getting into a struggle where they wanted me to help aka give them the answers on all their work.

[waverly]

rere, how old was your daughter?

Next year DD will only be 7. They egg each other on and fight more so I would rather she keep going to aftercare, and she likes it. But if I still have to pick up one kid I’m not getting any benefit but the $40 (part time) or $80 (full time) a week price reduction and the $40 is only $1600 for the school year which yes is some change but not a big difference compared to what we used to pay $$$$ for 2 in a daycare center.

But the following year they would be 10 and 8.

[ECB]

Ds is ten and is in 4th. We hardly use the aftercare that we pay $238 a month for. I’m SERIOUSLY considering letting him just come home next year after school. Need to talk to Dh about it more.

[sandandsea]

At least until middle school. So 12? But aftercare helps with homework so we never have to deal with it and I think that will be more and more valuable. He’s in 1st now. Also check your state law. Some states have an official age where it’s illegal before that. I know I’ve seen a chart but can’t remember where.

[rere]

Feb 10, 2019 9:50:18 GMT -5 waverly said:

rere, how old was your daughter?

Next year DD will only be 7. They egg each other on and fight more so I would rather she keep going to aftercare, and she likes it. But if I still have to pick up one kid I’m not getting any benefit but the $40 (part time) or $80 (full time) a week price reduction and the $40 is only $1600 for the school year which yes is some change but not a big difference compared to what we used to pay $$$$ for 2 in a daycare center.

But the following year they would be 10 and 8.

She was 8. They bicker, but that's it. I'd check in with them after they got home. By the time they changed, got a snack and did homework, they didn't fight a lot. She's also more anal retentive than Ds and maybe more responsible than him.

[mrspez07]

We’re still using it for DS1 and DS2, they are in 4th and 1st and 9 and 6. The other 4th graders and 5th graders are starting to phase out some, but he still has enough friends going so he doesn’t complain. We’ll start letting him walk/bike home a few days a week this spring. It’s over a mile and crosses a busy street. School is out at 3:05, they’ll be soccer practice around 5 they DH can come home a bit early for.

Summer camps are still in play this year, next year is going to be tough.

[waverly]

Feb 10, 2019 10:48:04 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

At least until middle school. So 12? But aftercare helps with homework so we never have to deal with it and I think that will be more and more valuable. He’s in 1st now. Also check your state law. Some states have an official age where it’s illegal before that. I know I’ve seen a chart but can’t remember where.

Our state law only states age 14 for excessive amount of time (basically overnight). Other ages, it has a 20 point type checklist that I reviewed and made sure we hit for when we leave DS for under 20 minutes usually to run a quick errand. Most states have age 8 as sort of an absolute minimum, so I wouldn’t probably take DD out of aftercare until she is 8 at a minimum. With her still needing it, I’m not sure how much it is worth it to jump on this next year, but the following year we could probably swing 2 days at aftercare and 3 days at home because I could flex my schedule and DH is usually work from home on Fri unless he gets another job.

[waverly]

Feb 10, 2019 11:05:53 GMT -5 mrspez07 said:

We’re still using it for DS1 and DS2, they are in 4th and 1st and 9 and 6. The other 4th graders and 5th graders are starting to phase out some, but he still has enough friends going so he doesn’t complain. We’ll start letting him walk/bike home a few days a week this spring. It’s over a mile and crosses a busy street. School is out at 3:05, they’ll be soccer practice around 5 they DH can come home a bit early for.

Summer camps are still in play this year, next year is going to be tough.

Summer camp aftercare is a whole other discussion because there is no bussing.

We have a few years before summer camp in general is off the table. He likes it more than aftercare so that helps and we have a jr counselor option for when they are 12-15.

[k3am]

My state leaves it up to the parents judgment. I don’t think there’s a blanket answer. We pay a metric shit ton for aftercare that is “so so” quality, so the sooner she’s ready for it, the happier I’ll be. That being said, she’s not even 6 yet, so we’ve got a ways to go...

[waverly]

Ours is 85 per week per kid with a $9 sibling discount. After laying $500 a week for a daycare center paying $170 a week doesn’t really have me too bothered.

A pro of aftercare is the extra curricular pick ups can be really annoying and for early drinks or appointments with DH on Friday.

I think after 8 years of pickups though I would love to arrive home and the kids are there for me already. No pick ups, but we aren’t there yet.

Our aftercare and I think aftercare in general is also just so so. Not as bad as some I have heard but I think it’s hard to find a great one because the kids are all tired at that time. They need free time but free time means worse behaved in a lot of cases.

We are kind of in the training stage to get to that point.

And it is still $680 a month which is basically a car payment.

[sunbutter]

My ten year old would be fine alone after school. But my he and my six year old would not be ok together. So they both go still five days. He probably will go next year too, as a sixth grader, mostly because our bus options would have him traveling over an hour and I would rather pick him up in my way from work.

[covergirl82]

I plan to have my kids go to aftercare through elementary (ETA: aftercare is not available in our district beyond elementary school), but we may let DS ride the bus home starting at some point in 5th grade if he proves to be responsible.  He'll be 11 going into 5th grade. The bus arrives around 4:10, and I can be home between 4:45-5:00, so he would only be home less than an hour on a normal day. 

[twinmomma]

If you ask me, they'll just do after care of some kind until 5th grade, so through elementary school. Then once they hit middle school I'd let them take the bus home. If you ask XH, that's being overprotective and ridiculous. I'm glad to see you all have the same timeline/thought process I do!

[CrazyLucky]

DS is 8 and DD is 6. They both like aftercare right now. They get a snack, do their homework and play with their friends. I can send them to aftercare until they are 12, and I think DS will be going for that long. They would get off the bus at home at about 3:20, and DH and I don't get home until 5:45ish. Maybe DS will mature a lot, but right now, I wouldn't let him be home alone for that long.

[librarychica]

I personally would be okay with a 9yo staying alone for an hour or so, but not with a younger sibling.

We are considering stopping aftercare next year for DD1, who will be 8, but H works from home a lot of the time and unless my work schedule changes it would be maximum 20-30 minutes on the days he isn’t there. We have been unhappy with the discipline at her aftercare program.

[librarychica]

I don’t think there is a one size fits answer, either. It depends so much on the kid, your neighborhood, your commute and the likelihood of getting stuck at work an extra hour, etc.

[waverly]

librarychica , definitely. I think a lot of states are hesitant to legislate it because it depends on the maturity of the child. And I agree about the sibling part too.

My neighborhood is pretty safe. I pretty much never have to worry about getting stuck at work. Every once in a while, they will shut down the highway due to an accident, and that has made me 45 minutes later, but I always put it in my navigation to double check that before I leave work, so I can choose an alternative route. Once I get on the freeway, I can't get off if there is a problem because there are no exits for 5 miles. And sometimes snow is an issue, but my boss is OK with me leaving earlier due to weather.


Aftercare is flexible on schedule as long as it is set the Wednesday before the following week, so I can always trial it for a few weeks and can always go back to 5 days a week. And I can make sure to trial it when it is not winter.    

[mae0111]

I agree with librarychica - definitely depends on the kid. DD1 is almost 9.5 and I wouldn’t leave her for more than 20 mins. She’s a scaredy cat.

Thinking about leaving DD2 home alone, the way she is now... I’d come home to a house that had been cleaned top to bottom, or a pile of rubble.

I do leave the kids home when DH is working in the basement. So they are largely fending for themselves, but he’s there if they need him.

[mellym]

DD1 is only in 1st grade but my initial plan was to not even think about it until Middle School (6th grade) when she's at a different school from her younger sister.

[186momx]

Our state law says 10. DD tried to explain why she should be allowed to stay home to the police officers at safety camp when she was a new 5 and they laid down the law of she has to be 10. DD will be 8 in June and is counting down until no more aftercare. She just doesn't care for it. I'm going to talk to them about testing her staying home when she goes into 5th (pay the registration fee for a spot but see how things go before deciding). It won't be such a big deal in my non-busy season as I'm home by 3:20 and school gets out at 2:45. It will be tax season that could pose a problem when no one is home until close to 6 or later.

[madringal]

By the time I felt like my oldest was old enough stay home alone (9) my middle had started school and while they get along great, I don't think a 9 year old should be in charge of a 5 year old. My girls have never been in after school care though. My MIL comes to my house to get them off the bus 3 days a week. The other days, I was home. Now that my oldest is 10 she goes straight to swim practice after school so she still can't keep her little sister after school. With sports schedules the way they are, I don't think I'll ever get the benefit of an older sibling watching a younger one (wilted) 

[sdlaura]

Elementary ends at 2:20 here Mon-Thurs and 12:45 on Fridays, and DH usually gets home around 5. No buses and we live super close to the school anyway. DD is only 6 now. She’s pretty mature so I could see her being ok at home at a relatively early age, but nearly 3 hours seems like a long time, and plus she’s got two little brothers who wouldn’t be big enough.

Luckily our aftercare is pretty cheap ($215 a month). DD has mentioned that some of the 5th and 6th graders do aftercare 2 or 3 days a week and walk home the other days.

[livinitup]

This suddenly became an option for us with DD in 5th grade. It wasn’t on my radar at all. But when her 2 best friends moved up to 6th grade/middle school, DD got bored in aftercare. Plus, we were picking her up at dismissal for activities around 2 days a week.

So, she rode the bus home a few times and did really well. At age 10 (and 11 months), half way through 5the grade, she rode the bus home full time.

[erbear]

After care at my school (where the kids go) ends after 4th. Middle schoolers (5-8) can stay at the library or lobby after sports. I assume she'll do that, or hang out in my classroom, after this year.

I've just started leaving her alone for a few minutes at a time (she's 10) to run to the store, etc. 10-15 minutes tops right now. I would not feel comfortable leaving her longer but lots of her friends stay home alone. City vs suburbs adds to it for me too.

[waverly]

I just wanted to update this. DH was pushing for independence for DS, which I get and support.

However with a 9 year old, I wasn't ready to take on the responsibility of managing a latchkey child while at work. Since DH is traveling or in meetings/ phone calls pretty much all the time, it would fall to me.

It's not that much and when I am ready I will make the switch, but since he isn't here during the week I figured it is my call. I just thought it would be up to me to arrange the childcare days (when he goes and when he doesn't), look for him on our ring camera that he gets in the house, and manage him through a phone call or 2 until I get home and possibly re-arrange my schedule alternate days so he is not home that long. I just thought that it wasn't a benefit to me except to save $40 a week, to have to do all that when I still have to pick DD up from aftercare.

So I nipped DH's whole you can be more independent campaign for DS in the bud in regards to aftercare. I feel like there are more ways we can continue to have him be independent like more chores or sleepaway camp that doesn't involve me overseeing it to that extent. I might feel different when he is 10 or 11. If I lived in town or had a flexible job where I worked from home it would be different, but with a 30 minute commute in the event of an emergency there is nothing I can do with that commute.

[ECB]

Sounds like the right choice! And I totally agree- if it would fall to you, yes, it's ultimately your call. It's not fair for DH to push for this when he won't be around to help at all.

I replied originally but it was brief. I wouldn't have been comfortable with DS coming home alone when he was 9. DH and I did decide that next year, we're going to let him come home. But he is 10 and will be 11 in December. And he's been showing more responsibility in the past few months that makes me more comfortable with it. He'd have a list of things he needs to do when he comes home - it won't be coming home and just jumping on the xbox!

[waverly]

Mar 18, 2019 19:40:36 GMT -5 ECB said:

Sounds like the right choice! And I totally agree- if it would fall to you, yes, it's ultimately your call. It's not fair for DH to push for this when he won't be around to help at all.

I replied originally but it was brief. I wouldn't have been comfortable with DS coming home alone when he was 9. DH and I did decide that next year, we're going to let him come home. But he is 10 and will be 11 in December. And he's been showing more responsibility in the past few months that makes me more comfortable with it. He'd have a list of things he needs to do when he comes home - it won't be coming home and just jumping on the xbox!

Exactly. We are just not there yet. If he is 10 and she is 8 and can get along together (that’s the big question), maybe then. But it’s not helpful to me if I have to pick her up anyway. It’s not saving me any time.

[2chatter]

We are keeping the nanny next year. He/she will get DS from school then make sure DD (in middle school) is doing what she says she is (there’s a park beside the school and there are shenanigans, but not all kids participate). Then the nanny can push homework for both. In third grade I may have DS walk home (I am here) but I may prefer to keep the nanny set up just so I am not interrupted. I may also start work at 6:30 if I can get DH to the point of being capable of getting the kids ready in the morning and leaving me alone to work. But next year, the nanny persists. And I am home - it’s just impossible to get everything done at work with kid interruptions and they are screen free on weekday afternoons until a limited amount in the evening.

[covergirl82]

DS will turn 10 this summer and will be in 4th grade next year. Originally I was thinking we'd start dropping a day when he started 5th grade, but DH and I are going to see how 4th grade goes. Generally, he is a good, responsible kid, so I think we may start dropping a day of aftercare in the spring of 4th grade. (I would say sooner, but our street and driveway get icy in the winter, and I don't want him to slip and fall and then be stuck until we get home or a neighbor sees him (and we only have 7 other houses on our street, and the lots are large (2-4+ acres) and there are lots of trees).

DD would not stay home with DS; if they are able to get along for 30 minutes together, we may consider letting her drop one day of aftercare a week in the spring of 5th grade when she's 10.