Vent: My weekend can be summed up like this. I spent a lot of time doing things I didn't feel like doing. Sunday night I finally got to stay home. DH was going to cook a steak dinner for Valentines, since he works late Thursday. Technically, he cooked the steak, but I ended up doing all the sides.
I have something every night this week. DD practice Monday and Wednesday, DS gets back from a class trip late Wednesday, DS basketball Thursday, PTO Tuesday. And of course DH works until 7:30 all week.
Plus, my yearly physical is tomorrow which I dread like to plague. I hate fasting. My Dr. is an over the top wackadoodle. The only reason I stay with him is because I know if there ever is something wrong, he will get to the bottom of it or die trying.
Post by supertrooper1 on Feb 11, 2019 9:28:13 GMT -5
It snowed 6+ inches yesterday/last night. Everything is shut down but I'm at work. I'm glad now that I spent over 2 hours the other day getting new tires.
Post by justcheckingin73 on Feb 11, 2019 9:46:30 GMT -5
It was a busy weekend. On Friday I got DD signed up for drivers ed which is scary and exciting at the same time. On Saturday, she had her first HS track meet so we dropped her at school at 6:45 then went back for her first event at 9:45. DH took DS home to feed him and get him ready for his 12:15 basketball game. I ran to get something to eat and then came back for DDs 2nd event. She did so awesome. It ended just in time for me to make it to DSs bball game. Went home for a bit, picked up DD, got my new glasses and some Nothing Bundt Cakes (yum). The kids were relaxing/playing games so DH and I went to Kohl’s to get him some new shoes and then grocery shopping. We got home, got ready quickly and went to Top Golf for a fundraiser.
Sunday, I went on a 5 mile run, took DS to get his hair cut and pick up a few more things from the store that they didn’t have on Saturday and then came home and started cooking for my good friend who recently lost her dad. DH went to work since he didn’t get anything done on Saturday so I also had laundry to do and started re-upholstering my dining room chairs. I dropped off some food to my friend, chatted a bit, shoveled the driveway and then it was time to make dinner. Cleaned up, finally got to sit down and then it was pretty much bedtime.
I’m so tired today. What a whirlwind of a weekend. I know that’s a normal weekend for many of you but I need an extra day after that!
Oh and apparently, there is not an adult home when I am gone. I was trying to enjoy my wine last night. I see something under my fridge. I get down on the floor and it is shrimp? I get a stick and fish out 5 pieces of shrimp. DH cooked shrimp Friday night when I was not home. Getting to the bottom of this story, it came out that DS was sitting in her room and she looked up and the dog is staring at her. This is our 100 lb lab that lives outside in the garage in a very plush heated doghouse. Apparently they let her in to hang out then forgot she was in, so she traveled through the kitchen, through the living room all the way down the hall to the end and found DD. I guess I need to hire a responsible adult when I am out.
I survived Sat morning. Picked up Girl Scout cookies and we had date night.
Sun I worked, and DH took DD to a drop off birthday party at her friend's house. I have seen the house and the parents on 3 other times, so I thought OK. Dh googled the address and it turns out 3+ years ago there was a domestic battery incident with the husband/ father. What is your opinion WP, on having your child go to drop off playdates in that situation? I tend on the judgy side on things like that and illegal drugs due to safety concerns. DH seemed to think it was fine and said I was judgy. And I know some of you reading this might even have experienced DV.
There does seem to be some tension with the couple, and he is very machismo. But maybe they went to counseling and worked everything out. My gut says there is some lingering issues there, but what do I really know?
DD2 tested positive for flu on Saturday, so she is home today and tomorrow, possibly Wednesday. DD1 decided she was sick of the long bangs/layers that she cut herself (and denies doing) so she cut them off completely. It looks ridiculous and will take forever to grow out.
We had basketball on Sunday, and DD1 had an hour-long tantrum over the fact that her favorite shorts were dirty. I presented 7,527 other options, but they were ALL WRONG, so I got screamed at. If I wasn’t coaching, there’s no way we would have gone.
As a result of that tantrum, I cancelled the pitching clinic that was supposed to start tonight. I’m to tired to do it. I didn’t even tell her about it.
I’m feeling very run down. I’m not sleeping much, and was up a lot this weekend getting DD2’s fever under control. DH is going away for the weekend right before we leave for FL, and he just announced that he’s going to his mom’s alone this weekend. He may also be traveling most of next week, when the kids are on break. I couldn’t help it. I started to cry. There’s no reason he couldn’t take DD1 with him and give me a small break. But he is coming up with all sorts of excuses as to why he can’t schedule the trip around her schedule. Leave Friday afternoon instead of Friday morning. Or leave Saturday. Throw me a lifeline.
waverly - any details? Like is it possible that there was a loud argument and someone called the police? In that case I might be ok. But if there was contact? I don’t know that I would be comfortable.
I know he was arrested. It was listed as domestic battery. He appeared in court for a bond hearing. That is all it says in the reports that the police report to the public (police blotter in local news type thing).
It’s not going to be a particularly hard week but it is going to be a weird one. I have jury duty tomorrow in municipal court. WTF. Traffic court? And I have a flight to catch at 4:00 so I have to be done before then. I will be out of town at meetings on Wednesday. I’m taking off Thursday afternoon and Friday to go to my kids’ Valentines Day parties and parent teacher conferences.
I realized a couple of weeks ago that I weigh more than I did when I had either child. But it’s odd because my clothes still fit, except for a couple of pencil skirts. So I’m getting serious about diet and exercise. I don’t want to be this fat and this tired all the time. I’m thinking of doing Weight Watchers. Anyone have experience with it?
Post by covergirl82 on Feb 11, 2019 10:26:45 GMT -5
mae0111 , I'm so sorry. I hope your H comes around and helps you out. I hope your DD2 is feeling better soon.
waverly , I would not let my kid go to a house where I know police have been called for violence and there is at least one arrest. 1) I wouldn't want my kids to witness abuse and 2) I wouldn't want them to potentially become a victim.
mommyatty, I did WW about 15 years ago. It worked for me, but at the time, they encouraged a lot of processed foods. I’ve heard that has changed. Also, I did it online - weighing in with a group did nothing for me.
I’m trying to get back on track, and I’m starting to track on My Fitness Pal.
Post by erinshelley21 on Feb 11, 2019 10:37:12 GMT -5
mommyatty I did WW 8 years ago and it was great. My mom is doing it currently and has lost over 40lbs since October. She likes it so much that she has convinced 2 friends to do it as well and my mother is NOT one to talk about what she is doing to lose weight with anyone other than me or her dr. She isn't doing any meetings or anything. She just pays the monthly fee (I think she committed to 3 months or something at first and is still going).
There are tons of people that you can follow on instagram if you have it for ideas. Pinterest has great ideas too.
Post by justcheckingin73 on Feb 11, 2019 10:37:34 GMT -5
mae0111, I’m so sorry. I would cry too. Knowing you have no break ahead of you is so defeating. Especially when you’re dealing with tantrums. I hope your H comes around and gives you a break.
waverly, I’d be really leery about drop off play dates. I’d probably make excuses to have the kids come to my house.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Feb 11, 2019 10:39:38 GMT -5
We had a good weekend. Saturday it was very cold. DD had gymnastics and my parents came over and we had fajitas. Sunday we took the kids to see the Lego Movie. Aaaaand that's it. I'm enjoying the calm before the baseball storm.
I've got drinks tonight with my boss and a couple outside attorneys. We don't normally do that so I'm looking forward to it. Although I'm going to have to stick with a Topo Chico. I started hard core on my nutritionists new plan for me and I've eaten very clean for 2 days. I wish I could say I'm now 30 pounds lighter but I guess that would be a tad unrealistic. Apparently.
waverly, in some states if there is DV call someone is getting arrested no matter what. My H's ex and her other XH had DV incident and the cops were called. He doesn't live in the house anymore. (she was the one being violent and he is a cop) People from the outside you never would have guessed.
I think this a situation where you have to trust your gut, and maybe ask the mom about it? I never would have googled the address and I would have never known. You can also offer to switch the location of the play date and offer it up at your house.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Feb 11, 2019 10:41:48 GMT -5
mommyatty, I started having problems with WW when I started training for triathlons, but my sister is currently doing it and 3 weeks in she's lost about 7 pounds. In contrast I've been doing various forms of dieting and exercising like a mad woman for 2 years and have gained weight. So I'd recommend it.
waverly- oh wow. I don’t think I could. I would want to be the bigger person who offers a lifeline to that mom and those kids, but I don’t think I could let my kid be alone in that house.
Post by covergirl82 on Feb 11, 2019 10:45:55 GMT -5
Celebrations: 1. The kids had school today and I'm working at the office. We'll see how the rest of the week goes, but it's nice to have a normal day after 2 weeks of no school and/or working from home due to treacherous conditions.
2. DD had a nice birthday on Friday despite the daddy-daughter dance being cancelled. We all went to dinner and then to see the new Lego Movie. My parents and sister came over Saturday midday and we went to DD's favorite restaurant for lunch. (Thankfully they had power come back on so they could open up on Saturday!) DD's birthday party went well on Saturday. Nine girls got along for 2.5 hours, which is a miracle. The pillowcase decorating was a hit and took quite a bit of time, so I highly recommend doing that for a birthday party activity.
3. DH did our taxes yesterday and we're getting about $2000 back for federal and $300 back for state. That's more than we've gotten in a single year over the past probably 4-5 years, so I'm happy about that. We now can pay off our cell phones and have enough money to cover the balance of spring break (the rental car and most hotel nights are paid for, so just 2 hotel nights left to pay plus gas, food, museum entrance fees, and souvenirs).
Vent: We Facetimed with SIL and her kids yesterday so DD and SIL's DD2 could open their birthday presents together. (SIL's DD2's birthday was Sunday, 2/10.) MIL is visiting SIL and her family for SIL's DD2's birthday and MIL was right there and never once wished DD a happy birthday. She didn't call or text on DD's actual birthday either to wish her a happy birthday. MIL tends to hold grudges, so part of me thinks she did that because DH and I forgot her birthday last Fall (and we did apologize to her and make it up to her), so if she doesn't call/text me on my birthday, I don't care, but to take it out on her granddaughter is a whole new level of low. Thankfully my parents called first thing on Friday to talk to DD and wish her a happy birthday and made her feel extra special on Saturday when we celebrated her birthday with them.
I do have a celebration... I made it to the next round of interviews for that WFH job. I’m speaking to the CEO tomorrow. DD2 will be home with me, so I’m hoping she can hold it together while I talk to him.
Post by supertrooper1 on Feb 11, 2019 11:03:49 GMT -5
waverly, After 14 years of reviewing people's criminal histories, I think domestic charges/arrests are almost as common as DUI arrests. So I would trust your gut on how the family acts now on whether it is safe for playdates.
waverly - have you asked about firearms and are you totally certain they are being honest if they claim no firearms in the home? If mom or dad isn’t an anti-gun activist there’s zero chance my kids would be around either parent, because who knows what the crazy really looks like regardless of who was arrested (DH’s exwife was physically violent and I am absolutely certain he would have been the one arrested, just due to culture here).
mommyatty - WW worked for me for pregnancy weight loss. It’s the absolutely most unhealthy way I have ever lost weight. The way their program is structured allows you to eat lots of arguably good things and still have bad things. I wasn’t consuming anywhere near enough carbs or protein so I lost muscle with the fat.
I highly recommend doing it on your own, with actual dietary science, not weight loss science. I used MFP last month and lost 7 pounds, ate more calories and had a higher satisfaction with food than I do when not dieting. 90 ounces of water and 35% carb, 35% protein and 30 % fat and I am rarely hungry. I’ve changed some things I eat (protein pancakes instead of regular pancakes, for example), but we still eat out, have dessert, etc. It has been EASY. Just learning WW’s system was hard. Macros are easy and they work.
Today I’m having King Cake for dessert, which means before bed I will have a protein shake and a spoon of peanut butter to hit my calories and my protein balance, with the right fats. That’s crazy. That’s like two desserts. But it’s the RIGHT sweets that complete a nutritional picture.
I had an extremely productive day Saturday at the office. Went home about 4 and DH is sick. The I'm just not feeling good so taking cold meds to be proactive. By 4pm Sunday he has full blown man-cold and went to bed at 7pm. Sunday my home computer died so my WFH day was messed up but by the time I got done fighting with it was 1pm which was too late to mess with driving across town to work.
DD finished reading the first Harry Potter book Sunday morning. At 8:30 I got "mommy I finished Harry, can we go get the 2nd book from the library now". She was talking about reading it at school and was told she can't read books like that because they are too advance. She checked out 2 level readers from the school library and now wants to boycott the school library since she can't get which books she wants to read.
Post by traveltheworld on Feb 11, 2019 12:08:28 GMT -5
I started having a cold on Friday and it grew to a flow blown cold by Saturday. I feel like I'm getting a cold every week. DH and I were supposed to have a relaxing afternoon/evening together yesterday. We still went to our couples massage, but our romantic dinner turned out to be just an hour as I was sniffy and tired. Then I went to bed at 9 p.m., but woke up at 1:00 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep. So now I'm super tired.
On a happier note, DD has made friends with the younger sibling of one of DS's hockey teammates. So now she has someone to play with during hockey practice / games and I get to actually watch DS or socialize with the other parents without her hanging on me every second.
I think the family is probably typically safe. But there is an edge to their interactions coupled with his very macho attitude that I can see arguments escalating quickly and unexpectedly. I am kind of on the fence.
I have not asked about guns. He is ex military, so I assume they have guns. Their house is also immaculate with everything in their place- no guns lying around, so I assume locked up. But you know what they say about assuming. I would be very surprised if I asked about guns and they said no they don't have any.
DD's follow-up MRI is scheduled for 3/21. I'm out of practice, I totally forgot how much of a battle it is to convince them to give her gas or versed beforehand. I get it. For some kids, they can set up an IV line with a few tears. She's been doing this for 4+ years. She knows the deal. And she's strong. So yeah, having 4-5 people straight jacket her, pin her down while struggling to place an IV, missing the vein, blowing the vein, and ending up with an arm full of track marks is traumatizing. As much for me as it is for her. I just want to drug my child up, guys. She's on board with it. She'll still fight when they try to get the IV in, but it will take just me to hold her down. And she won't remember when she wakes up.
They told us before the last MRI that if everything looked normal, we'd get the OK to go 1 year between MRI's. They didn't see anythign abormal but they didn't want to wait a year before her next one, so here we are. We don't have a real reason behind why they didn't clear us to wait, so of course, my brain is making up all different kinds of reasons, but for all I know, the surgeon just forgot that he had told us he wanted to switch to annually.
Oh yeah, and after we wrap up with DD's MRI, we get to do one for DS in April. It's the first time we'll see what his messed up brain looks like in ~18 months.
I'm less worred about his brain than DD's, but man. Anxiety, I have it.
Post by librarychica on Feb 11, 2019 12:52:52 GMT -5
Idk why it takes me so long to get H to put his travel on the calendar. I’ve started googling his conferences myself. Just calendar it! It’s the minimum amount of effort! /rant