Post by supertrooper1 on Feb 14, 2019 11:04:43 GMT -5
H is driving me nuts as he packs. He will ask me if I want something. If I say no, he will make a comment that I should care and want to keep stuff. If I say yes, then he'll say that he actually wanted it or that he paid for it. There is nothing in our house that isn't replaceable, except for my grandma's piano, and he wouldn't want that anyway.
My work replacement was named yesterday, chosen based off of seniority of who put in for it. Could be worse, but definitely not the best person to fill my spot. I feel sorry for my dayshift coworker that I'm leaving behind.
My direct report is still on leave, at least through the end of the month. Our HR manager (who is not the rep we've been dealign with during this process) says count on her coming back in March, but my gut says we probably won't see her anytime soon.
I am super with work right now... I'd like to say that it's because she's gone, but her workload hasn't been too bad. Mostly it's the stuff that I wouldn't delegate to her even if she were in the office.
DH passed on his most recent job offer. (Maybe I posted about this previously. I'm not sure?) They were able to almost reach his current salary, but not quite. That was enough for me to want him to say no. His other concern was the lack of diversity on the team. I don't know how this affects a role or a company or the people in it, but for whatever reason, it was enough of a concern for it to be the tipping point towards saying no.
So that's three companies now that are in his target company set that can't/won't meet his salary requirements. I would prefer he move with at least 10% more pay, but would settle for leaving for comparable pay and potential for growth.
So it sounds like now he moves on to the Bay Area giants that he's already consulted for and gotten interest from in the past, but weren't a first choice for one reason or another. Honestly, it seems like all roads lead him back to one company, and I really don't want him there. He'll be there consulting starting next week, and the commute is REALLY crappy - ie: if he can't leave by 4pm (and in the past, he never has), he'll stay until 7-8. At least if they employed him directly, he'd be getting paid better and get better benefits. But eitherway... Goodbye husband, hello single parenting again. I'll see him from 6-7am, and maybe if he wakes me up when he gets home. I'm really hoping this project falls through. He's been on the bench for about a month and it's been great.
My uncle and his wife IVF failed. They are taking a couple months off and then will try again. They have 2 frozen embryos to work with with. Hopefully the next one works.
DH is 2 weeks into his new job. So far so good. I can tell he is happier.
I am on day 4 of Whole30 and finally getting the hang of what to bring for lunch and snacks.
DD is 8 months day. I can't believe how fast the time goes.
No Valentine's at DD's school today. The kids are mad and say they are celebrating anyways. They are supposed to do something with their buddy class but DD normal has buddy class reading on Thursdays so nothing new.
I have to call a client to tell them taxes are ready. They owe. First time in 18 years of knowing them that they have every owed. They normally get giant refunds. Not looking forward to this phone call. This has nothing to do with the new tax law but with them loosing dependents/aging out credits, and not changing W4s to account for that.
xctsclrx, I guess our youngest kids are exactly a year apart - June 14th? My DS was 8 months on Valentine's Day last year. This year he's 20 months today
My foot surgery was 3 weeks ago today and I'm feeling pretty good. I should get the boot off on Wednesday if my x-ray looks good. The past few days I've started doing the elliptical again (in my boot), in addition to the ab/arm stuff I was doing without my foot. It has felt great to really sweat again and I'm already sleeping better. My foot is still a little swollen so we'll see what shoes feel comfortable in a week.
I have to go to traffic court today. A left turn camera light thinks I made a left turn on red, when really I had just gotten in the left lane, realized I was in the wrong lane, put on my signal and safely changed lanes to go straight on green. There are no laws against changing lanes in/near an intersection here. It's all on video, so I'm crossing my fingers that the judge is reasonable. I had to go spend hours at court 6 weeks ago just to plead guilty, and they set my trial for today. So much time wasted
So oldest DD is improving but things are still unpredictable. Her pain level is typically around 4 on a 1-10 scale. That’s down from a steady 7. She still hits 8 and has been as low as 2.
We see the pain management doctor next week at 7:30am and I really want the GI doctor engaged. They are on the same campus. In theory they could discuss? It’s before the GI starts his day so I am almost hoping he can pop in but that’s crazy. To this point all of her specialists have already known each other. It kind of made me wonder about hippa but it’s been great. One moved to the campus where the outlier pain management guy is and I am hoping that helps that they are now in the same hospital network.
The home bound teacher is here. I’m hoping DD can get caught up and return in March at some point. Thinking after spring break, maybe mid March, as long as her pain stays reasonable and she is not hitting 7-8 every day. Exh is cancelling spring break - the new carrot will be he will hire a golf pro to work with her over spring break if she’s better and she can play every day - he will rent an air bnb with golf cart at the country club for the week and she can golf while he works. Middle DD would come with me to the beach and everyone should be happy. Oldest loves 30A but loves golf more. Middle will feel like she’s missing out either way and absolutely feels like she has to choose between mom and dad. So I think exh and I will decide for her. The girls alone for a week while he works and middle alone while oldest golfs are not options. He lives in an rural lake area and the sitters he hires are by his own admission not people he would even consider if he were in a different area. Like, one took DD to the liquor store with her. They left his house specifically to go there. She couldn’t wait until after work??
In other news it looks like his mom is really going to send money for the girls to spend Christmas in Australia. I feel sick because exh is unreliable, couch surfing and selfish so there is a really small chance this could turn into an international custody dispute where he just doesn’t bring them back. I don’t see that for real happening or if it did him sticking with it, and the girls are old enough to contact me themselves but it would still be crazy and they would be in a total loyalty bind. But DH is freaking out and to the point where he said I might have to go with them and stay on my own so I am not WITH them and we skip summer vaca to fund it and so I have vaca time. Crazycakes and not happening.
No big reports. My cousin passed away yesterday and I am trying to help with the funeral. She was my age, but something went wrong when she was born and basically never passed the baby stage. Never walked or talked. My grandmother said she was an angel on earth. The family is broken up, and she has been in and out of the hospital for years. I am glad she is not hurting anymore. I will go over tonight and tomorrow, but I can't make it to the funeral Saturday. I feel bad, but we have been planning a trip to Nashville for months. If it was just my plans I would cancel, but this was something special for the kids and it is only available this weekend.
On the positive note, my class was really sweet this morning. We discussed having a positive outlook and they were all really good in participating and sharing. They also all cheered when I got there and two clung to me for dear life. It's a new semester and they are now in a typing class. Apparently they all hate typing.
The phantom dog that seems to park itself under my bedroom window was barking from 12 -3. My neighbors may have heard me screaming out the back door and clicking my taser in the direction of the barking. I told DH he was going to have to set up his tree stand and sit there all night tonight to catch that dog (he is off tomorrow) then maybe we can call the pound. I can't take anymore lack of sleep.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Feb 14, 2019 13:14:08 GMT -5
DD was approved for growth hormones. I am still processing this. I just have the letter from the insurance company, no one from the doctor's office has called me. by the way, they are the premiere children's hospital in our area, supposedly, but they are too big for their own good.
Also we had a conference with DD's teacher regarding repeating kindergarten (she's in preK 4 now), but in the meeting she recommended that DD delay kindergarten and do pre K 4 again rather than do Kinder at her current school and then do it again at DS' school.
I almost laughed in her face because they had given us the same advice about DS (my dyslexic, December birthday kid). I then met with DS' current school and the head of school said they would take her in PreK if we want to do that. We currently have her lined up to do a visitation there on March 1 so I'm going to talk to admissions about having her visit with the 3 year olds instead of her age group.
I had rounds 2 and 3 for a 100% WFH job this week, and OMG I'm so excited about this possibly happening. The pay is crap, but the work sounds exciting and right up my alley. It's totally flexible - based on deadlines rather than hours - so I think that I should be able to make it work with getting up early, working while the kids are in school, and after they're asleep. The aftercare program at their school is very flexible, so I could even just pick a day or two here and there and have them stay late if I need to catch up.
The one issue is this... I'm competing against a good friend for the position. I'm 1000% percent more qualified, but she is desperate for a job (and I'm not). She is one of the most talented people I know, but this position is not within her skill set. It's just not the job for her. And I have a feeling that if I happen to get the job, she will not react well.
DH’s training to London might be on if he can figure out how to code the flights so it doesn’t trigger a review flag. I’m not going due to the late notice, but we are going somewhere slightly warmer in 2 weeks for the weekend.
Volunteering at DD’s party went well because one of the parents is a principal and ran it for us.
I’m feeling a bit better today. I picked up my mouth guard for my TMJD.
Would you judge a parent if they dropped off her Kindergartner for a 4 hour swimming party? He can’t swim and was wearing a swim vest, so he was safe, but the other parents did not know the child and vice versus had to help him get ready for the pool, and he never changed after the pool just went to the gym part of the party with his swim trunks and a shirt. It was cold outside and chilly in the gym. I’ve since met both the parents and they seem nice but I can’t imagine leaving my 5 year old with strangers for swimming and changing. Dropping off with no swimming- totally fine.
Also I think we are in too many activities. Fall soccer times 2 kids Dance- 1 kid Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts respectively Spring baseball- 1 kid DD wants to do spring soccer After school gym club- 1 kid Winter basketball Swim class during summer camp 5 week Field Hockey class
waverly - I lean toward crazy when it comes to swimming, so there is absolutely no way I would drop off my 4-5 year old at a pool party. DD1 is in 3rd grade and wants to have an end-of-year swim party, and I’m going to ask parents to attend. Most 9 year olds are ok, but not all. And even in a swim vest, stuff can happen...
Also, that seems like a lot to me, but I feel like we don’t do as much as others. Right now, we have:
DD1 group sessions every week DD1 individual session every other Violin 1X per week Piano 1X per week Tennis 1X per week Basketball 1X per week
This spring we will drop basketball and group sessions, but pick up softball 3-4 days per week. It’s a little too much for me...
Yeah I am like you @mae with water. I make the kids get out of the pool when I go to the bathroom.
Ours are not all at the same time. Soccer was Tues and Sat and then ended.
Cub scouts is 1 time a month on Sundays and GS one time a month on Tuesdays. It’s the extras with these groups that make it a lot- camp outs, fundraising and other one off activities.
Basketball is only in the winter 1 day a week. So really it’s only Tues Basketball and Sat dance.
But baseball is a wildcard since this is a new league for us. Luckily after the Blue and Gold Ceremony in a week cub scouts is pretty much over with for requirements. The rest is just if you want to.
waverly, No, I'm paranoid about water. Comes from being a lifeguard all the years. I have sent DD with another family to a swim party before and then meet up with them halfway through because I had to work and DH was unable to attend. She was supervised by the other mom and the host knew the plan too.
Some of your guys schedules make me feel like DD having gym 2 nights a week is too easy.
DDOT DD got invited to an old daycare buddy's b-day party next weekend. It is at this game place downtown; and Lego video game theme. Last party we went to with this group all the boys ignored DD and it really hurt her feelings that they wouldn't even talk to her. There will be only 1 or 2 other girls she knows possible there. I'm thinking about RSVPing no but feel bad as we very seldom get invited to parties. We've not had a single b-day party invite this school year. We also haven't seen any of this group of friends since August as we were sick in December when we had a group thing planned. Go? Not go?
DDOT DD got invited to an old daycare buddy's b-day party next weekend. It is at this game place downtown; and Lego video game theme. Last party we went to with this group all the boys ignored DD and it really hurt her feelings that they wouldn't even talk to her. There will be only 1 or 2 other girls she knows possible there. I'm thinking about RSVPing no but feel bad as we very seldom get invited to parties. We've not had a single b-day party invite this school year. We also haven't seen any of this group of friends since August as we were sick in December when we had a group thing planned. Go? Not go?
Usually I like to go to parties if I can. The not talking to her before does give me pause though. I took DD to a game place for K and I can say none of the kids talked to each other they were just so excited to do the games, but that might be different from her age, 5, to your DD’s age.
TWERK: Despite the weather and transportation conspiring against us, we made it to NYC for Harry Potter and it was freaking amazing! Just... stunning! And my mom and I had such a fun trip just the two of us wandering around the city for a couple days. I needed a break like that.
DDOT: ExH has introduced the kids to video games. I am ready to kill him. It's now the only thing they want to do in their spare time and are constantly hounding me to play every 30 seconds. They also claim that daddy told them it's like homework, because they practice reading the messages on the screen. So when I say no, I look like a complete jerk. So that's a fun daily battle in my house now.
twinmomma we’ve recently let DD (1st grade) do some Minecraft on the iPad and one thing I like about it is that I can use it as currency. Want the iPad? Great, do these 3 things first.
twinmomma, That sucks. I am so sorry. If I remember you have 50/50 so you can't even break the habit? This is when the kids learn that mom and dad have different rules and at your house no video games on a school night and only maybe an hour a day on the weekend. Unfortunately you can't control him :/ Maybe you can convince him no video games on a school night. No idea how to navigate that though.
twinmomma - even with pretty strict rules about electronics, they are just more pervasive than I like. But the kids are fine. For instance, the rule is no electronics after school unless they want to play for a bit with a friend. So DS has been hosting daily play dates. The nanny caps them at 30 minutes, but it does crack me up.
Exh doesn’t do bedtimes - and lets the girls watch TV until 1am when they pass out. It’s nice when he’s homeless because they don’t sleep over. Same kind of thing - and finally they are both old enough that they make better choices. It’s totally fine IMO to make pronouncements and suggestions - and discuss with the girls without indicting exh or insulting his rules. I said things like “you have a soccer game Sunday - what time do you think you should go to bed? How many hours of sleep does your body need?” Very kid dependent - at 4 oldest was more responsible than middle was at 9. A fit bit helped - middle wanted to get her steps in and would realize she was at 500 for the day and she needed to get up and not sit in front of a screen. It’s totally infuriating but at least it’s making my kids more self sufficient in a weird way?
I think it's not even the fact that it's screen time that bothers me. It's that he told them some bit about it being "Daddy homework" and now they're fighting me on how it's just as important to do that when they're at my house as it is to do school work. He even went so far as to make a point to drop off the damn Nintendo DS at my house so it would be there for them after school. Not necessary! Also, his current schedule gives him a TON more time in the evenings to get things done with them compared to mine, so it's easy for him to let them play video games. At my house, we have to fit dinner, homework, showers, etc. into about 2 hours total. So generally on a school night I give them the chance to watch one episode of something or do tablet time for a bit while I make dinner. I can't sit and figure out how to play these video games with them, help them read the difficult screens, and figure out what they need to do to beat a level like he can.
I'm going to have to just lay down the law that video games are a weekend only thing at my house. I just hate that he has made me look like the bad guy. Not surprised at all, but pissed. He's basically a "fun uncle dad" as one friend put it. I'm the actual parent.
Oh man I thought he was saying it’s as good as homework, not that it WAS homework! Total dick move. As I move into my second decade post-divorce with a Disney Dad, I can’t say it gets better for that aspect. My oldest suggested that she live with him (in his imaginary house) so she can take easier and only on level classes and skip homework in his really bad school district. Because when she has weekend homework, he tells her time with him is more important and that she can go to a movie instead of them going to the library because he would be bored, and that our district and her mean mom make her do too much work. 🤦♀️
I'm sorry twinmomma, I would totally make a rule that says no video games during the week at mom's house. If the girls continue to argue I would almost say that they could loose screen time after all our evening chores are done because we've spent all the extra time arguing over video games. I also have a short timeframe in the evenings when I do pick ups. DD will shower while I finish cooking dinner and then most nights we still only have enough time to read after eating. Now DH picked her up yesterday and she showered and was eating when I got home but really wanted to watch another Wild Kratt and I was about to say yes but then asked how many she had watched and she had already watch 3 episodes so I told her no she had watched enough. Going to have to have a talk with DD about using her early home evenings more to her advantage and not being glued to the TV.
twinmomma- knowing that, I would tell him if the effing Nintendo DS ever ends up in your house on a weekday again, it’s going straight in the garbage can. You’ll assume he dropped it off because he understands it’s trash and he no longer wants it. And no, a video game isn’t homework. He’s a teacher, right? Jesus, his school district must suck.
twinmomma - knowing that, I would tell him if the effing Nintendo DS ever ends up in your house on a weekday again, it’s going straight in the garbage can. You’ll assume he dropped it off because he understands it’s trash and he no longer wants it. And no, a video game isn’t homework. He’s a teacher, right? Jesus, his school district must suck.
TWERK: DD had lunch with Miss S (3rd grade teacher) yesterday. She spent her Dojo $$ to eat lunch with Miss S and have an extra math lesson. They played multiplication games, talked about school, friends, and Miss S was going to talk to her teacher about her working on multiplication during math instead of whatever they are doing. DD has lunch scheduled next week with last year's teacher again she is spending Dojo $$ and the plan is to talk about history and the Chinese new year and DD wants to teach her this math game she made up. I will be using these examples when I talked to principle next week about a status update for TAG. I feel like DD is buying extra learning time. She already asked if it was okay to save up and spend the $130 dojo $ to have lunch again.
186momx - hasn’t it been their timeline already? Have they updated at all? I hate red tape and bureaucracy with school programs.
I do think kids today are crazy engaged compared to when I was a kid. They pass notes - they are algebra based math (this started in first with + and -) and they have to solve them and pass them to the next person with a new problem they create. There’s a list and if they can’t solve it they have to cross their name off. The use google hangouts to write progressive stories where they each add a sentence then create web pages with illustrations (during class, not allowed, but they do it). They buy time to play math and word games in the hallway with each other - and with parent volunteers. Last time they had standardized testing they all entered their scores without name in a google sheet to find the median so they could see where they ranked without all divulging their own scores to each other. DD had friends over and they sat on the kitchen floor - I wasn’t sure what they were doing. They asked Google to play NPR’s a way with words and while listening they were giving each other random words to look up in a pocket thesaurus.
They are kind of a lot for me. I had to pull over on the way to soccer because there was a screaming fight with crying between five girls over pronunciation of some demon in Harry Potter. They were insulting each other with phonics rules “you are a silent b, need an example? Dumb” while they argued. At first i thought they meant the B word, haha.
TAG has made it worse, not better, because they have more time together. They are doing the stock market game now and it’s intense competition.
You guys I think I just needed to vent too — I am just kind of rule breaking and drama’d out. Can’t they just go play? Ugh. Sorry for the hijack. I can’t wait until 5th grade is over.