Help me troubleshoot my baby (BFing)

[noodleoo]

DD2 and I had a good schedule going with BFing until she started daycare last week. She was doing 4-5 good feeds (both boobs) during the day and then waking only once overnight (STTN 12 AM – 7 AM yay!!!!). My H was on paternity leave for a month, so this was working with me back to work. I work part time, so my days are short (7 hours). I’m pumping twice and getting 9-10 oz per day. When H was feeding her bottles, she’d eat twice while I was gone and take about 7 oz. She’d also take 3-4 good naps, usually about an hour each.

She started daycare last week and we started with the same 2 x 3.5 oz bottles plus extra milk in the freezer. She did ok at daycare, but she didn’t sleep much (very short naps) and she blew through the milk super fast. At home she would only eat every 3.5 hours, at daycare they fed her every 2. Each day they asked for more milk. I upped it to 4.5 oz bottles, but on Thur they fed her all that plus freezer milk! They fed her 13 oz (over 7 hrs) and said she was still hungry and asked me to bring in more milk. I’m freaking out because there is no way I can currently pump more and I’m going to run out of freezer milk.

And now DD2’s schedule is all messed up. She has started waking up at 4-5 AM again for an additional night feed. All weekend she also wanted to eat every 2 hours, but she would only eat off one boob. She doesn’t empty them before she turns away and won’t eat anymore. My boobs are getting super full and I got a very painful plugged duct on Sunday. I ended up pumping too because they hurt so much. So I don’t think she *needs* more milk. I can’t add a 3rd pump at work anyway, I don’t have enough time.

Has anyone been through something similar? I can’t figure out what to do. Today I sent 3 x 4 oz bottles, but I have a feeling they are going to dip into the freezer stash again.

[namasteak]

Are they doing paced feeds? Why they feeding ‘more frequently than you do at home? Can you just send more bottles with less milk in each?

It may be a growth spurt or her adjusting to a new place so don’t worry too much!

[boiler717]

I would talk to them about paced bottle feedings and trying other soothing methods in between feedings. If she’s not napping she may need a little more, but that seems like a ton of milk for 7 hours.

[icedcoffee]

We had this happen with DS. I think it's super normal for kids to eat more at daycare than at home. It's also super normal for daycare providers to offer bottles more often because kid gets fussy and has a clean diaper so they try a bottle. 2 things we did were only send 4 oz bottles (for his entire time taking bottles) and asked them not to feed him after 5:00 (I wanted him hungry so I could nurse him when I got him home). 13 ounces over 7 hours seems kind of normal though. I'm sorry. Pumping is literally the worst. I used to get so excited when they sent home extra bottles at the end of the day. LOL

[joy]

My baby ate differently at daycare than she did at home. In general, she ate waaaay more at daycare. It was still the same number of ounces per day for us, but it was just clustered at daycare. She actually still eats more there than at home.

Daycare is a major change for a little person. The disrupted schedule may all just be part of adjustment. I would give it some time and grace as everyone goes to the new normal. And if eating comforts her while she adjusts at daycare, I would let it be for now.

[noodleoo]

I'm getting conflicting info on the paced feedings. I asked about that on her first day and they said that yes, that's what they do. But then when I picked up they said she was sucking on an empty bottle because she was "SO hungry!", so that seems contradictory. I need to remind them of that.

I think they are feeding her more often because she's not sleeping. She takes like a 20 min nap there because there is so much distraction (not all the babies sleep at the same time). I'm guessing she's tired and fussy and they are feeding her. But I'm not sure how to help her sleep there. Will she learn? They also said they can't swaddle at her age (4 months), where she is still swaddled at home.

I did send 3 smaller bottles today vs. 2 larger bottles last week. I'm hoping that helps. At least you guys are confirming it is a lot of milk! I was shocked on Thur when they said she ate all that and then they said "why don't you send 5 oz bottles next week". I'm like are you nuts!?! I told her I couldn't pump that much and she said "hopefully you'll adjust". She's like 25 (no kids) so has no idea it is not that easy!

[joy]

Yes, she’ll adjust to napping at daycare eventually. It may not look like it does at home but it will be her daycare schedule. That’s okay. I always let my kid sleep all she wanted on the weekends and put her to bed earlier on the weekdays. It’s all so new and interesting and loud! Haha.

[icedcoffee]

Feb 19, 2019 12:38:37 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

I'm like are you nuts!?! I told her I couldn't pump that much and she said "hopefully you'll adjust". 

When I made a similar comment to DS' daycare they said "oh yeah--you'll give up on that soon.  Boys love to eat!".  I showed them by making it EBF for a year! HA!

But in reality, I think she will adjust to napping more and in the meantime remember that BF doesn't need to be all or nothing.  You can send what you can and supplement as needed.  It's also temporary because in a month or 2 you can start adding in some purees and that should help.  I'd probably send 3.5 oz bottles. Definitely don't go higher than 4 oz bottles.

[knx9211]

If she's sleeping 12-7, that leaves 17 hours to eat. Having 13 ounces in 7 of those hours means if she ate that way, she'd get about 30 ounces for the whole day? That seems normal to me.

Maybe my math is wrong though. I suck at it.

[minionkevin]

If she’s sucking on an empty bottle, how is she with a pacifier?

[lessel]

I do think daycare is quicker to offer a bottle when a baby is fussy than spending the time it takes trying to get the baby to sleep (and to stay asleep). But on the other hand, if they give a bottle and baby drinks it then what can they do. I know my kid will have jaws of steel and not open for a bottle if he's legit tired and not hungry.

DS2 is EFF, so it was easy to adjust bottles for him. I had this same struggle with DS1 though who was EBF when we started daycare. I did introduce formula and start to combo feed because I flat out was not pumping enough to keep up (I just never responded well to the pump). That was sanity-saving for me. (I mixed BM/formula in the bottles for a long while.)

[minionkevin]

Also if they can’t swaddle can they use something else like the Merlin suit?

[brooke77]

I would send more, smaller bottles. Since she’s not napping as much, she may want to eat more (or maybe she’s going through a growth spurt!). But either way, I wouldn’t send bottles much larger than 3.5/4 oz. Is her daycare provider more familiar with formula? There was one provider in DS’ infant room that had more (only?) experience with formula, so I think she thought I was starving DS when he would have 3 oz bottles and the other babies would have 7 oz.

Finally, I did a “back to work” consultation with an LC which helped me a lot. We did a weighted feed and she also calculated how much total DS should probably be eating based on how many times he nursed a day and his weight. It was shockingly accurate to the oz and helped ease my fears about pumping and how much to send.

[noodleoo]

Feb 19, 2019 12:51:35 GMT -5 minionkevin said:

If she’s sucking on an empty bottle, how is she with a pacifier?

She does take a pacifier, we usually only use it to sleep.  But yes, I can recommend they try that before a bottle.

Feb 19, 2019 12:53:58 GMT -5 minionkevin said:

Also if they can’t swaddle can they use something else like the Merlin suit?

I didn't think of that!  I'll have to ask at pickup today.

brooke77 , Yes, I think the other babies are mostly on formula or at least supplementing as all the other shelves have formula cans on them and mine is the only BM in the freezer.  I peeked at 2 other kids daily sheets this morning and they had much larger bottles, 5 oz and 7 oz!  I'm guessing that's formula?  That seems crazy for BM.  

I'm not opposed to supplementing if absolutely needed, but I honestly don't think she needs it right now.  I'm hoping smaller bottles more frequently will help.  I do have 100 oz in the freezer, so we have some time to let her adjust before I run out.

That's a great idea about the LC.  I think I could use the advice.

[hopecounts]

Feb 19, 2019 12:38:37 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

They also said they can't swaddle at her age (4 months), where she is still swaddled at home.

!

AAP says no swaddling after 8 weeks so most licensed daycares have to follow that.
So they most likely can’t without risking their license or getting dinged at the very least.


I’d work on dropping the swaddle at home.
The sooner she gets used to no swaddle the sooner she’ll sleep well without it.

She has to acclimate to being able to move so it will be sucky for a few days to a week but once she integrates the startle reflex she’ll sleep much better overall

At 4 months developmentally she shouldn’t need the swaddle.
She should be able to self soothe without it.

[namasteak]

What about a halo swaddle? It can be arms free and the legs are loose in the pouch but the wrapping around the torso is comforting to many babies.

[namasteak]

Feb 19, 2019 14:27:05 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

At 4 months developmentally she shouldn’t need the swaddle.
She should be able to self soothe without it.

Not all babies are hitting milestones at the same time though. Some babies have grown out of their startle reflex by that age but some haven’t and that’s totally fine.

[hopecounts]

Feb 19, 2019 14:48:26 GMT -5 namasteak said:

What about a halo swaddle? It can be arms free and the legs are loose in the pouch but the wrapping around the torso is comforting to many babies.

Still falls under the AAP swaddle guideline so daycare won’t be able to use it.

Since baby can’t be swaddled at daycare it’s best to rip the bandaid and go no swaddle to get baby used to it ASAP.

Especially since AAP says it isn’t safe at 4 months.

Yes baby will struggle at first, she has to adjust.
Baby boy hated going no swaddle and it took a good week for him to adjust at 2 months when we stopped but he did figure it out.

Startle reflex kind ode has to be worked through baby is going to startle whenever you drop the swaddle.
At 4 months Ferber is safe and appropriate if baby really struggles but to make daycare work better swaddle needs to go

[clseale]

Feb 19, 2019 13:23:23 GMT -5 brooke77 said:

I would send more, smaller bottles. Since she’s not napping as much, she may want to eat more (or maybe she’s going through a growth spurt!). But either way, I wouldn’t send bottles much larger than 3.5/4 oz.

Yes, I was going to say this. The total amount (while on the higher side) doesn’t sound unthinkable to me, but I would not send larger bottles. And yeah, dropping the swaddle will help give her a better chance with daycare sleep, but that was honestly the least of dd’s problems. With lights on and loud noises, she never really adjusted. She napped well at home on the weekends, but daycare was always a crap shoot.,

[lemoncupcake]

Feb 19, 2019 14:48:26 GMT -5 namasteak said:

What about a halo swaddle? It can be arms free and the legs are loose in the pouch but the wrapping around the torso is comforting to many babies.

our daycare wouldn’t use one but did use a sleep sack we provided - I think it helped the transition and was a good nap-time cue for her.

[noodleoo]

Thx everyone! I think we will start working on dropping the swaddle at home (maybe over the weekend to avoid being dead at work). She did ok yesterday, but very little sleep. She looked very sad when I picked her up and she fell asleep at 5 PM as soon as we got home. She slept until I woke her up at 7:30 PM to feed her and then went down again for the night.

I sent slightly bigger 4oz bottles today. I might add an extra pump at night at home to make up the difference for now. It sucks, but I guess she needs it since she isn't sleeping there.

[lacey]

noodleoo could you ask them if they have a white noise machine they can try with her. Or if you brought one in could they try it in/near her crib?

She may adjust or she may not. My DD was always a crappy napper at daycare. So much FOMO in her. My son usually does much better, but the last couple days he has been taking an early morning nap and then nothing else for the rest of the day. He falls asleep on the way home and sleeps for awhile and then wakes up and clearly wants to go to bed instead of eating dinner. I think they were using some white noise with him and I'm going to ask if they can try that again for awhile so he can get a bit of sleep in the afternoon.