My OB brought it up today, so I figure it's time to figure it out. I'm having a csection regardless, so it's a matter of what they do while they are already in there.
Curious what others experience has been, pros/cons, regrets, etc.
We know we are done at 2, but I hesitate to permanently close that door before I've even held #2 (mostly in the event something goes wrong, not because I would want a third). Additional recovery concerns, and then any long term side effects.
I did thank her for not bringing this up in front of H for the first time, lol.
Oh, and I don't plan on going back on birth control for a variety of reasons, so we would want to take permanent measures sooner than later but a tubal feels TOO soon kwim?
I've only had a vaginal delivery before and plan on another one, so this is all purely hypothetical for me. But I am pretty sure that if, e.g., this baby flips breach and I have a CS, I would be in favor of tube tying at the same time. We are both really confident that 2 is the right number of kids for us, and 3 would put us over several edges all at once. (Time, space, money, sanity.) We're planning on H getting a v after this baby is born, but if I were having surgery anyway, then sure, I'm in favor of the efficiency of me being the one to "make it permanent."
One of my good friends just had a RCS for #2 a couple months ago, and she wavered and ultimately didn't do it. Her argument was that she has borne all of the responsibility for birth controlling and then birthing for their marriage and it was time for her H to take a turn/"feel some of the pain." Eh. That logic didn't do much for me. But I think that was her way of deferring a decision, which is fine (if not her exact stated reason in getting to that).
Post by icedcoffee on Feb 19, 2019 15:17:31 GMT -5
I've thought a lot about this. I am trying for a VBAC but I'm realistic and fully expect a CS. I'm about 99% sure 2 kids is all we want, but I don't think I'd do it as part of my delivery.
For me, childbirth already has so many feelings and emotions to process that I can't handle one more thing to process that day. And like you, I want to hold that baby before it's done. It would be better if I could do it even like 10 hours later. Haha We'll have my H get a vasectomy. Even if I do someday get my tubes tied, I'll make it a separate surgery.
Now ask me if I'd let them do a tummy tuck or lipo while they're in there....LOL
Have your H get a vasectomy. Easy in & out for him. Short recovery. No regrets from my H. I wanted my H to do some of the heavy lifting. We're a team and I'd lifted the amount I felt capable of so it was his turn to pick up the slack.
Post by minionkevin on Feb 19, 2019 15:38:19 GMT -5
I’m getting my tubes removed, not just tied. I have read there is research that shows ovarian cancer may actually more related to the tubes, and I already have family hx of ovarian and uterine issues (more uterine issues though). If it were up to me, I would have a hysterectomy and leave 1 ovary for hormone purposes, but my OB says it is only indicated in the event I have placenta accreta. Anyway, I have little interest in additional children, I’m almost 35 and my H is over 40. I’ve never used hormonal bc, and after an unexplained IF dx pre-Kid1, sterilization was something I never considered, but here we are. The downside, or so I have heard, is heavier periods, but I don’t know if that holds if the tubes are removed, vs. just tied.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Feb 19, 2019 15:42:24 GMT -5
My mom had horrible periods after her tubal. She has a high pain tolerance but severe cramps & migraines keep her in bed for a day or two now. I have no interest in having it done. MH said he will have a vasectomy.
Post by minionkevin on Feb 19, 2019 15:46:04 GMT -5
If something happened to Kid3 and my tubes were gone/tied/whatever and I wanted another kid (unlikely!), I guess I would go through IVF? My insurance covers it, and I’ve been through pretty much everything short of egg retreival and embryo transfer with my first two anyway. Is that strange?
I’m getting my tubes removed, not just tied. I have read there is research that shows ovarian cancer may actually more related to the tubes, and I already have family hx of ovarian and uterine issues (more uterine issues though). If it were up to me, I would have a hysterectomy and leave 1 ovary for hormone purposes, but my OB says it is only indicated in the event I have placenta accreta. Anyway, I have little interest in additional children, I’m almost 35 and my H is over 40. I’ve never used hormonal bc, and after an unexplained IF dx pre-Kid1, sterilization was something I never considered, but here we are. The downside, or so I have heard, is heavier periods, but I don’t know if that holds if the tubes are removed, vs. just tied.
Yep. Nearly all of the OBs I work with remove the entire tube when they do their tubals, for this reason. They counsel their patients that removing the entire tube makes it irreversible, so if they are thinking about a reversal later, they counsel their patients to not do it.
On the same note...
My sister had her tubes tied (just tied, not removed) a couple years after her younger kid was born (who is now 7). Last year, she told me she's thinking of getting a reversal. I told her if the reversal doesnt work, she'd have to do IVF. She's basically like, well you've done IVF 3 times, it can't be that bad. /facepalm Yea, we did IVF because of complications from a vasectomy reversal.
If something happened to Kid3 and my tubes were gone/tied/whatever and I wanted another kid (unlikely!), I guess I would go through IVF? My insurance covers it, and I’ve been through pretty much everything short of egg retreival and embryo transfer with my first two anyway. Is that strange?
Huh? That's what IVF is, lol. That's like saying I've given birth short of gestating the the baby and pushing it out of my vagina.
I couldn't deal with the emotions of childbirth and a tubal at the same time so my H ended up getting a vasectomy when our youngest was 1. Would your husband be open to getting one instead later? Once you know everything is okay.
If something happened to Kid3 and my tubes were gone/tied/whatever and I wanted another kid (unlikely!), I guess I would go through IVF? My insurance covers it, and I’ve been through pretty much everything short of egg retreival and embryo transfer with my first two anyway. Is that strange?
Huh? That's what IVF is, lol. That's like saying I've given birth short of gestating the the baby and pushing it out of my vagina.
I mean like all of the drugs, just not those procedures. I’ve had 6 IUI, follistim, triggers, PIO, all of the monitoring, bloodwork out the wazoo, etc. Is it the same? No, of course not, but with my unexplained dx, I was told IUI was not going to work and IUI was just a formality and to prepare myself for IVF accordingly. I was lucky I didn’t need it, but every month waiting for to fail (and it did 4x) was a mindfuck all the same. It’s not like I’m some rando saying “I’ve been TTC for 3 months, I’m totally infertile!”
Check into the side effects of a tubal and what type would be done. A good friend's wife just ended up with a hysterectomy due to the side effects from her tubal after her last CS. Their youngest is only 4, so the side effects started pretty quickly.
Check into the side effects of a tubal and what type would be done. A good friend's wife just ended up with a hysterectomy due to the side effects from her tubal after her last CS. Their youngest is only 4, so the side effects started pretty quickly.
Check into the side effects of a tubal and what type would be done. A good friend's wife just ended up with a hysterectomy due to the side effects from her tubal after her last CS. Their youngest is only 4, so the side effects started pretty quickly.
Can you elaborate? 😬
Extremely heavy periods, anemia, headaches/migraines. I know some women end up with large fibroids as well.
Extremely heavy periods, anemia, headaches/migraines. I know some women end up with large fibroids as well.
Large fibroids with no prior history? Off to google... Ugh. I mean, I want a hysterectomy anyway (and my OB agrees that with my family hx it is indicated just not right now), but I don’t want to suffer up to that point, you know?
Post by broadsheet on Feb 19, 2019 17:01:52 GMT -5
I had a tubal with my RCS and it wasn’t bad - the recovery wasn’t any different than my first C/S.
I had fibroids and heavy periods before my tubal, and they returned once I stopped BF. I ended up getting an IUD last fall (so nearly 4 years post tubal) and now I don’t have any periods at all.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Feb 19, 2019 17:20:07 GMT -5
I was given this option as well. However, I wasn’t (and still am not) “done” with two kids...we are done because DH doesn’t want any more but I would have a third in a heartbeat if it were solely up to me. Because of this my OB urged me not to do the tubal. DH wasn’t happy about it but it wasn’t his body:his choice. I am supportive of what he wants to do (and have been since DS2 was born) and yet DS2 is nearly 2.5 yo and he still hasn’t gotten a vasectomy. I have an IUD, which I will keep in until I decide to push for the vasectomy.
Post by mccallister84 on Feb 19, 2019 17:23:13 GMT -5
I would say if you are not 150% okay with doing it don’t do it. A vasectomy is really no biggie for your H. H and I briefly discussed it (in case I had to have a c section) and even though we knew we were done I didn’t want to be dealing with the postpartum hormone fluctuations and the loss of my fertility in one fell swoop. DD2 was born in June and H got his vasectomy in October so we didn’t wait long but it was long enough to reaffirm that this was what we wanted.
Post by farmvillelover on Feb 19, 2019 17:24:44 GMT -5
I had a tubal ligation 3.5 years ago during my 2nd c-section and I wish I didn't. I'm currently going through a slew of tests and appointments just to make sure nothing is really wrong with me but once I had it, I feel like my whole clock changed and I started having symptoms I've just never had before.
severe cramping fibroids I bleed often and irregularly when in the past I had textbook/clockwork menstrual cycles. migraines really difficult to get back in shape (this might be my imagination or age or combo of both). pretty severely anemic
Post by rootbeerfloat on Feb 19, 2019 17:36:15 GMT -5
We knew we were done after two kids, and I had a RCS, but I chose not to do the tubal. I heard a few horror stories about worse periods, etc (granted, those were anecdotes), and I suppose a small part of me wasn't ready.
H was willing to have a vasectomy. And he did... twice. That was the only con to not tying my tubes lol.
I had my tubes tied after my scheduled c-section 20 months ago. I do have heavier periods and slightly more PMS than before (but I have twin toddlers so I also have a lot more stress in my life now as it is lol) but overall I’m still happy I did it.
But - if I could do it again I’d probably just make my H get a vasectomy.
I had it done when I had my c-section 2 years ago. I was DONE having kids. 1000%. No regrets or complications here, thought I do think my recovery was harder/longer because of it. I’ve always had heavy periods and that hasn’t changed.
Post by cricketwife on Feb 19, 2019 18:15:46 GMT -5
This is an intensely personal decision. From the outside looking in, you have gone from 0-2 very quickly. I personally don’t feel like this is the type of decision one should make while pregnant and potentially hormonal. Like PP said, I feel like there’s so much emotion with childbirth, this is an unnessary complication. But again, this is all so personal. You know yourself best.
I had my tubes tied (well, removed) during my c-section with ds2. We were sure sure sure we were done. The actual procedure during the surgery made me pretty nauseated while they were doing it, but I have had zero issues since then. Ds2 is 8 mo. I EBF so my period came back shortly after his birth and has been totally normal.
I had a tubal done with my second c-section. It added almost no time to the surgery and I noticed no difference between my first and second c-sections in terms of recovery.
I will say that my period was noticeably heavier when it started back up. I went from a pretty medium flow for about 5 days to a very, very heavy flow on days 1-2 and almost nothing on days 3-4. It was an adjustment, but overall not a big deal.
I highly recommend it if you want permanent sterilization. I will say that we are 100% done and I would very likely abort a surprise pregnancy at this point, so this was absolutely the way to go for us. There was never any question for us. I talked to my OB about it at the very first appointment and made it clear that this was discussed and planned before we even got pregnant a second time. Neither of us has ever wanted more than 2 kids.
We considered DH getting a vasectomy, but it just didn't make any sense since I was having a c-section anyway. Plus we would have had some insurance costs associated with it for him, while my OOP max was covered from the birth.
ETA: Like others, I had a tubal salpingectomy, which is removal of the tubes. My doctor said it would reduce the risk of ovarian cancer, which was another big plus for getting it done, IMO.
I guess I will disagree with a vasectomy is easy for your H. Yes, in most cases it’s pretty simple but there are still risks. My H had one done and 3 months later he is still having bad pain where they snipped him. He said the pain was so bad when it was happening he almost threw up during the procedure. Granted I know he’s the exception.
ETA: vasectomies aren’t guaranteed to work too. I’ve know one person who got tested and it didn’t work and another who didn’t get tested and his wife got pregnant (which almost caused a divorce cause he was “snipped”).
Not saying it’s still not the right thing just know it’s not fool proof and there could be complications too.
I had mine removed. Like pp mentioned, my OB brought up the lowered risk of cancer. I had my 3rd in february and had them removed in October so that insurance covered it. Surgery was easy. I was in a little pain, but I also didn't take it easy for a couple days like I should have. I also had bloating for about a week but overall not bad. You can't even see a scar from the stitches.
It is expensive though. My total bills were 14k and I was at the hospital for 4 hours. So I was glad we didn't have to pay anything.