Dumb question: when did you change your FB status?

[cleo29]

I know this is dumb. Stbx is moving out in a few weeks. So, I just wondered when did you change stuff like that? When divorce was final?

[doriswe]

I think I hid my relationship status once I knew we were done.

Oddly enough, FB was the final straw in my relationship with XH!

[cleo29]

Apr 30, 2019 19:32:53 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I think I hid my relationship status once I knew we were done.

Oddly enough, FB was the final straw in my relationship with XH!

How so? (sorry, I am nosy)

Maybe we hide things until things are final? that could work.

[spindle92]

I changed my status to single the day the divorce was final. For me, I was still married until the judge signed that divorce decree. It is such a personal thing and different for everyone. Do what feels right to you.

[cleo29]

Apr 30, 2019 19:47:09 GMT -5 spindle92 said:

I changed my status to single the day the divorce was final. For me, I was still married until the judge signed that divorce decree. It is such a personal thing and different for everyone. Do what feels right to you.

I think I will feel like you.  Was just curious.

[doriswe]

Apr 30, 2019 19:36:45 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Apr 30, 2019 19:32:53 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I think I hid my relationship status once I knew we were done.

Oddly enough, FB was the final straw in my relationship with XH!

How so? (sorry, I am nosy)

Maybe we hide things until things are final? that could work.

He added the other woman as a friend after he took her off while we were working on our relationship. He never really stopped seeing her but finding out he added her again was my final straw and I was done!

[cleo29]

Apr 30, 2019 20:28:50 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Apr 30, 2019 19:36:45 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

How so? (sorry, I am nosy)

Maybe we hide things until things are final? that could work.

He added the other woman as a friend after he took her off while we were working on our relationship. He never really stopped seeing her but finding out he added her again was my final straw and I was done!

oh, that is bad form. I'm so sorry!

[doriswe]

Apr 30, 2019 20:38:18 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Apr 30, 2019 20:28:50 GMT -5 doriswe said:

He added the other woman as a friend after he took her off while we were working on our relationship. He never really stopped seeing her but finding out he added her again was my final straw and I was done!

oh, that is bad form. I'm so sorry!

lol...it's all good, it was the best thing that could have happened! 

[doglove]

I think I hid my status first and then deleted it in private so no one could see it. I don’t think I ever reported myself as single or divorced and really had no status until I was “in a relationship” with my now husband.

[tiramisu]

I changed mine to private/visible only to me. I have no idea if I made it visible once the divorce was final or if it's still not visible. I just wasn't ready to deal with questions/comments. My XH untagged himself from being married to me at some point, which is probably when I hid the status.

[downtoearth]

I never changed it to married or made my relationship status public, but it was obvious from our photos and posts that we were married. I basically started untagging him in older photos about 2 weeks after our split, but haven't unfriended him. I just didn't want those "You have memories with STBX from X years ago today" notices. I want the memories with the kids, but without his name.

I did remove him as a follower on Instagram - he was following his girlfriend on there and liking her photos - I knew that and they were coworkers so didn't care at the time, but after the fact it pissed me off huge and several of them show two beers in a brewery and now I'm guessing it was not her and her H, but her and my H. She blocked me on Instagram too, so we're both damaged by this. (Blocked me, but still kept her account public... so my friends/sisters who aren't blocked will look and note when they show up on it together, but really I just want them to keep it public so I can tell if she starts posting pictures of our kids in a couple months). I know petty, huh?

An acquaintance and her XH both posted a public facebook announcement when they consciously uncoupled (facebook post actually said that) and it was the exact same on both their pages - about supporting each other and the process and the kids. I am not doing that, but it worked for them. Other friend in our last state has posted about their separation and they still ski together and have dinners/birthday parties together, etc. So they seem to have a really healthy separation that is evident on social media and, honestly, refreshing.

[gault]

From what i can remember, i quietly erased the relationship status altogether.

I also deleted photos of us, but it was a different circumstance than yours.

Basically, do what you feel is best for what you want people to know.

[jigsy]

Like a lot of people here, I hid my status at first, but I think Facebook changed it so it no longer "announces" changes to everyone...though I could be wrong, so I would take extra caution and hide it to avoid questions.

For me, I rarely post on facebook as it is, and I never made an official announcement, but people who were in the know put two and two together when I moved across the country and all of my posts were about MY new adventure. lol I only had a few people reach out privately due to a facebook post, and they were all people who had either previosult divorced or were going through it at the same time, so I didn't mind. It didn't feel nosy.

[spindle92]

Did I mention my divorce was final on my birthday. So it announced to everyone that it was my bday and that I was single. Good times I tell you.

[Shreddingbetty]

The minute my ex told me he wanted a divorce (he is a recovering alcoholic and I just couldn’t get past all the hurt and resentment, he didn’t really want a divorce but was tired of me not progressing...) he changed his to “separated” which annoyed me a bit as we were still living together and weren’t telling our kid until after the summer (this was in April) per our marriage counselor and my own counselors recommendation. They told us we shouldn’t tell her until we were closer to actually splitting and someone (me) was moving out. I ended up closing on a house mid November and our divorce was final the day before the closing (it went very quickly considering all that was involved financially). I changed my status once I knew the divorce was truly final. I don’t think FB posts anymore when there is a change in status unless you change it to “in a relationship with” and tag someone.