3. Questions for the group? How early did you look at day cares? What kinda of things were important to you as you looked at places?
for our first, we were on lists while we were still TTC. but that's a function of our area and the insane waitlist times. one called me when they finally had room, he was 3. what do you think i was doing with him all that time? both of our workplaces had daycares affiliated with them, so they were the two we applied to first, then others as it looked like we wouldn't get in to either of those two choices. now we are just on the list at the place we are now, but with sibling priority so hopefully that helps.
we looked for a place with a solid curriculum (i'm a teacher, early childhood ed is so important) and then just getting a feel for a place. one was just a giant room with swings set in a circle and teachers just bounced from upset kid to upset kid. no thanks. where we are now there are no real 'containment devices' - the kids are on playmats or doing tummy time on a boppy, or being held by a teacher.
34.5 weeks and trying not to get my hopes up that my OB is right and I won’t make it to 39 weeks (induction date). But I was contracting regularly on the monitors today, 3cm and 20% effaced so maybe 🤷🏻♀️
Post by KellyEasterbrook on May 7, 2019 17:15:46 GMT -5
stellelinds25, I just started looking at daycares this week (I'm 35 weeks). I was worried I was going to regret having not down this at the beginning of the pregnancy, but turns out it doesn't matter. The waitlists (and some of the places I called don't even open the waitlists up anymore to non-legacy children) are all at least 2 years out. I'm shocked it's that bad since this isn't a major metro area. I'm not sure what we're going to do, but we'll hobble something together.
34.5 weeks and trying not to get my hopes up that my OB is right and I won’t make it to 39 weeks (induction date). But I was contracting regularly on the monitors today, 3cm and 20% effaced so maybe 🤷🏻♀️
I dont do cervical checks or anything, but I am increasingly convinced I'm going early. I've had a lot of cramping/contractions/uncomfortable baby movements (assume all 3), and doc thinks baby flipped. Between that and my increased swelling and protein spillage, I'm banking on week 37, which starts in 8 days. C was 37+6.
Needless to say I've kicked it into gear to get that to do list done.
stellelinds25, we put a deposit down at 13 weeks. We didn't want to lose the chance to get our first choice as daycare was the only option for us (DH works from home and a Nanny wasn't a realistic solution). We were the first on the waitlist for Oct of 2019 but the wait list for June of 2019 was already full...so we are glad we got on when we did.
Unless the deposit costs are prohibitive, I don't get the point of waiting.
stellelinds25, I just thought about doing it this month. 1 daycare I like only plans 4 months out so we don’t find out till August if there is space for January or not. We are touring another one next week who does have space.
Still not sure I’ll do the daycare route unless I find a real job. Doesn’t make sense with how expensive it is. My internship is very low paying and daycare would be like €700/month even subsidized (regular is €2120 per month with no subsidy).
This entire pregnancy I've ran hot. Frequent night sweats, warm at 65 degrees, etc.
Last night I got up to pee and I was sitting there I got SO. COLD. Like, full on shivering. I could not get back into bed fast enough and under the covers. It lasted maybe 5 minutes? Then everything was normal.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on May 8, 2019 14:48:06 GMT -5
I have somehow managed to get my TSH level from a 2.9 to a 1.8 in 3 weeks. I’m so happy about this but no idea how. Now I thankfully don’t have to check it again for 6 weeks.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? My coworkers threw me a sprinkle on Saturday. We went and got mani/pedis and it was so nice. Love having such a great work family. I have an OB appointment Tuesday and I'm really hoping we can nail down a date for my RCS. I don't know how long they'll let me go (OB and MFM) based on my history, but things look good as of now and I need to be able to tell work when I'll be going out (I'll take 4 weeks before my surgery date).
3. Questions for the group? nope
4. Do you have Mother's Day plans? Saturday we'll meet up with MIL for brunch. Sunday will be just DH, DS and I. We'll go out for lunch somewhere.
Update—availability of first choice doctor and hospital don’t match up, so I’m all set for a c section with my other choice. So in theory the latest this baby is arriving is 6/3. Yay/eep!
Post by chocolatepie on May 10, 2019 10:55:29 GMT -5
My dog died unexpectedly on Wednesday morning and my grief is overwhelming. I have been incredibly weepy all pregnancy and I know that has made this so much worse but I can't even function. We are dog people. They have been my children through all of our infertility struggles and I had her by my side for 12 years. I never got to really say goodbye, it just happened so fast, and I'm consumed with guilt and profound loss. I have never grieved like this and am physically ill. Thank goodness I have a job that I could just check out of for the last few days.
Of course in the midst of a midnight sobbing fit, I googled grief and pregnancy and scanned articles pointing to stillbirth, early labor, it affecting the baby's mental health, etc. I guess due to the hormones released? Which has now compounded my guilt.
Has anyone gone through a significant loss while pregnant? Am I insane to even fixate on how it's affecting this baby?
I'm just not thinking straight and I don't know how to just snap out of it.
Post by stellelinds25 on May 10, 2019 11:21:24 GMT -5
chocolatepie I am so, so sorry. Sending you lots of ((hugs)). Don’t stress yourself out any more than you already are by worrying about your baby too and stay off google!
chocolatepie we had to put our cat down when I was pregnant last time. He went from healthy to bad so fast, it broke my heart to see. I wanted so badly to be in the room when we took him to the vet that last time, but I was so worried I'd pass out from anxiety and grief that I just sent my H alone. I had a lot of guilt over that on top of just missing him. All the pregnancy hormones made losing a pet even harder than normal I think.
Definitely stay away from Google. Allow yourself to grieve, but dont set yourself up for failure by googling stuff like that. Maybe trying to find a way to remember your sweet pup that will help you heal? We had other pets and I gave them tons of extra love while my heart hurt. When my brothers dog died tragically, I ordered him an Etsy drawing of his pup to have in the house and remember him by. I'm so sorry for your loss, pets are family and its never easy to lose one ((hugs))
Post by aprilsails on May 10, 2019 12:30:18 GMT -5
chocolatepie my step-sister lost her father (young and suddenly, albeit in poor health) while she was pregnant with my nephew. It was very hard for her, and she also had complications related to poor healing from her first pregnancy (excess scar tissue in her uterus and poor placenta placement) and I can say with 100% certainty that my nephew is completely unaffected and is a very normal 3.5 year old. He was slow to talk, but so was his brother, and my stepbrother - their uncle- never talks if he can help it (the strong and silent type through and through).
I know this is an anecdote, but please don’t put more stress on yourself if you can help it. I’m sorry about the loss of your sweet dog, and I’m sure he knew you loved him very much. I’ve had many outsize reactions to grief while pregnant. The hormones are rough, but it’s ok and good to feel sadness over the loss of your good friend.
chocolatepie sorry for your loss. We lost our dog during my pregnancy with DS2. She was a big dog and could barely walk that last day. She really needed to be carried but I was 6 mos plus pregnant. The poor thing absolutely used her last ounce of life to walk herself into the vets office. It’s been over 5 years now and still it hurts to think about her. Also DS1 remembers her and gets sad and I wish she had been in DS2’s life too.
chocolatepie, I'm so sorry. We lost our older dog earlier in this pregnancy, when I was about 8 weeks along and he was a few months shy of turning 12. It wasn't a total surprise because he'd been diagnosed with lymphoma over last summer, but the end came all at once on a Monday night to Tuesday. We never tried chemo despite it supposedly being well tolerated because we were TTC and then I was pregnant. It would've been dangerous for the baby for me to be around the dog, his meds, and his poop/urine/vomit (and he had bilious vomiting syndrome even before the cancer) so it was really just a nonstarter. I stand by the decision for the baby, but still felt horribly guilty at the time. We'd brought him home from our honeymoon with us 11.5 years before, he was totally my baby.
In my last pregnancy, I also dealt with the impending loss of my mom. She was dx'ed with ovarian cancer in 2010, and when I was pregnant in 2015 it was clear that the end was coming soon. We had all kinds of contingency plans in place for where I'd deliver if I had to go out of state to say good bye at the very end of my pregnancy. She ultimately lived until DD was about 5 months. It was an emotionally destroying first Mother's Day about 10 days after her funeral.
All of that is to say, give yourself plenty of space to grieve, and try not to stress about what the grief will do to your baby. That part will be ok. I'm sure it's better and healthier to let it out. Hugs.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on May 11, 2019 5:44:01 GMT -5
I debated asking this because I kind of feel like an asshole even posting it but has anyone else struggled to gain weight? I weighed myself yesterday and I actually lost weight from the last time I weighed myself 3 weeks ago (not much but like 0.7 kg). I wasn’t underweight to start off but skinny (size 2/XS). My midwife never, ever weighs me and hasn’t commented on it. Baby is growing. I eat a lot of food. I’m just very active so maybe I don’t eat enough to keep up with my level of activity but I doubt it? I feel like I’m always eating. I’ll ask her at the next appointment but it’s not until June 3.
Should I be worried about not gaining more weight? I’ve gained a total of 0.8 kgs technically since being pregnant. Not sure how though! This belly is growing (I feel so big now) and he is too! Last check he was 720g. I’m sure it’ll catch up and I’ll gain more weight now as he grows through the end of 2nd tri and 3rd tri?
chocolatepie, all the hugs. I think you need to let yourself grieve however you need to. Trying to hold it all back is just going to prolong the worst of it. I'm so very sorry.
I debated asking this because I kind of feel like an asshole even posting it but has anyone else struggled to gain weight? I weighed myself yesterday and I actually lost weight from the last time I weighed myself 3 weeks ago (not much but like 0.7 kg). I wasn’t underweight to start off but skinny (size 2/XS). My midwife never, ever weighs me and hasn’t commented on it. Baby is growing. I eat a lot of food. I’m just very active so maybe I don’t eat enough to keep up with my level of activity but I doubt it? I feel like I’m always eating. I’ll ask her at the next appointment but it’s not until June 3.
Should I be worried about not gaining more weight? I’ve gained a total of 0.8 kgs technically since being pregnant. Not sure how though! This belly is growing (I feel so big now) and he is too! Last check he was 720g. I’m sure it’ll catch up and I’ll gain more weight now as he grows through the end of 2nd tri and 3rd tri?
So I’ve gained more than you (2.3 kg at 25 weeks) but it’s almost exactly the same as my last pregnancy with almost identical gains at the same weeks. If I continue following my chart from last time I won’t gain much more in the next 15-17 weeks (I was +4 kg when I delivered at 41+3). My midwife wasn’t concerned at all last time and she never once weighed me. When I asked about my lack of weight gain she said that as long as I wasn’t actively dieting/trying to keep the weight down it was ok.
After 28 weeks I pretty much didn’t gain anything at all - I would be up a few hundred grams one week but then down again the next week. I had one visit around 34 weeks I think when the SF chart showed a slightly more flat curve. I brought up my complete lack of weight gain the last few weeks again and my midwife then sent me for a growth scan that showed a normal sized fetus. The specialist doing the u/s didn’t understand why I had been referred for it at all. I did try to eat more after that and made sure to make energy dense choices but it made no difference to my weight gain. My son was born at 3285 g (7lbs4oz) at 41+3.
My mom was the same at all 3 of her pregnancies and barely gained anything at all and me and my brothers we’re all normal weight (we were all between 8-12 overdue). I guess this is just the way some women are in pregnancy just like how some women gain lots no matter what they eat or do. I wouldn’t worry about it if you’re growing and your midwife isn’t worried.
I haven’t gained a pound since I was diagnosed with GD. Baby is growing on track and my belly has also gotten bigger. If you are concerned I would talk to your midwife.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on May 12, 2019 5:12:15 GMT -5
EllieT, thank you for that. It helps. As you know in Europe, they don’t ever weigh you. My midwife literally just asked me at my 1st appt what I weighed and has no idea about any weight gain or loss since she has never weighed me since. Last time I asked about it, i was only like 18 weeks. I’ll definitely ask again at my next appointment but if he’s growing, I guess I won’t be worried.
dreamcrisp1 , that was me last pregnancy. I gained 10-12lbs total and started my pregnancy slim to begin with (size 4/small). My OB was unconcerned. And I left the hospital at pre-pregnancy weight which was nice lol.
This time around I'm at up 20-22lbs at 37 weeks and I don't really think I'm doing anything different. Less active at this stage than I was last time (my bladder can't handle running anymore), but I did run a half marathon at 28 weeks. I wouldn't stress it. Everyone (and every pregnancy!) is different.
EllieT, thank you for that. It helps. As you know in Europe, they don’t ever weigh you. My midwife literally just asked me at my 1st appt what I weighed and has no idea about any weight gain or loss since she has never weighed me since. Last time I asked about it, i was only like 18 weeks. I’ll definitely ask again at my next appointment but if he’s growing, I guess I won’t be worried.
I’m not really sure. I just know that sometimes when people’s levels get lower they can lose weight, so I thought perhaps that might be why you’re not gaining? But it might also just be what your body needs to do right now. I gained minimal weight with dd even though I am petite and she was a very healthy 7lbs 1oz at 40+6. As long as you’re both healthy, I wouldn’t think too much about it. You might gain the bulk of weight on the back end, or this might just be how your body does this pregnancy.
Thank you guys so much. I appreciate the similar experiences you shared and that things worked out okay in the end. I finally left the house on Saturday (had to work) and while I have serious anxiety leaving my other 2 dogs, the distraction helped. Still cry often but not the uncontrollable weeping like the first few days.