WWYD? Classmate misbehaving in daycare class

[isabel]

May 14, 2019 14:17:01 GMT -5 kath16 said:

It feels like almost every day either my two year old bit someone or someone bit him. There is one girl in there who bites and sometimes my kid bites back. Sometimes he bites her because she took a toy or whatever. They generally do not get along and they don't know understand enough to know what to do about it. Rinse. Repeat.

Every day I have a version of this conversation with him:
Me: Did you bite Friend?
DS: Yes.
Me: Are you supposed to bite?
DS: Yes!
Me: No. No biting. It's not nice. It hurts our friends. Should we hurt our friends?
DS: No. Biting not nice!
Me: That's right! What are you going to do if Friend takes a toy tomorrow?
DS: BITE!
Me: No! No bite!
DS: Bite.

..............

There is no actual danger here. I'd always rather my kid GET bitten than be the biter. DS1 was never a biter. Kids are different.

I'm really sorry, but this is cracking me up. God, kids are great.

[kath16]

May 14, 2019 14:23:07 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

May 14, 2019 14:17:01 GMT -5 kath16 said:

It feels like almost every day either my two year old bit someone or someone bit him. There is one girl in there who bites and sometimes my kid bites back. Sometimes he bites her because she took a toy or whatever. They generally do not get along and they don't know understand enough to know what to do about it. Rinse. Repeat.

Every day I have a version of this conversation with him:
Me: Did you bite Friend?
DS: Yes.
Me: Are you supposed to bite?
DS: Yes!
Me: No. No biting. It's not nice. It hurts our friends. Should we hurt our friends?
DS: No. Biting not nice!
Me: That's right! What are you going to do if Friend takes a toy tomorrow?
DS: BITE!
Me: No! No bite!
DS: Bite.

..............

There is no actual danger here. I'd always rather my kid GET bitten than be the biter. DS1 was never a biter. Kids are different.

I'm sorry I snorted at this, but it's kind of hilarious. 

The recent discussion in my household is:

"Patrick, no no! We don't do that."

*3 seconds later, he does it again*

"Patrick! What did Mommy say?"

"....no no?"

*continues to do said thing*

Have kids they said.... it’ll be fun they said...

[pandora89]

The only thing I’d be going to the director to complain about is the teachers and floaters bad mouthing a child/calling him a bully and disclosing what was said in private conversations with other parents. Completely unacceptable:

[Deleted]

Yeah that's my son. He's 3.5 now and like the size of a 5.5 year old. He's big and clumsy and not gentle and always has been. His teachers work really well with him using gentle touch and not running into kids. Part of his problem is he has bad vision (he does have glasses now) but he doesn't always see the smaller or sitting kids. Anyways, his teachers assure me a lot that his behavior is normal and will get better the older he gets (it's already a lot better than at 1 and 2). I've even heard them tell other parents that they don't use the term bully (a mom mentioned she thought her son was a bully).

[somersault72]

Ugh, that poor kid. DS was a more rambunctious than average toddler and I'd to think no one called him a bully, especially before 2. I want to tell that kid's parents to run far, far, away from that daycare.

[shauni27]

May 15, 2019 18:01:53 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

May 14, 2019 17:59:52 GMT -5 ribollita said:

Yep, been there.

Smug moms (usually of daughters*) who think they are better parents because their children are of different temperaments are the worst**

*not always, obviously

**not really but kind of, and in the same vein as a daycare teacher who would call a 21 month old a bully.

This made me giggle. I have a daughter with a very gentle temperament, and I know it has NOTHING to do with me, but I still enjoy all the compliments I get on her great behavior. I’m the best mom EVER! Lol/eye roll.

I would love for some gentle temperament, lol. The only comments I regularly get from folks is "he is a handful" or "you can't take your eyes off him for a minute!" or "wow, he is so active! when do you get anything done?" 

[kdubs923]

May 16, 2019 2:20:06 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

Ugh, that poor kid. DS was a more rambunctious than average toddler and I'd to think no one called him a bully, especially before 2. I want to tell that kid's parents to run far, far, away from that daycare.

Yup. Just chiming in to note that I'm still really angry about this post, for two reasons:
1. The way the teacher bad mouthed a 21 month old 
2. The way OP felt like something should be done about this bully kid who jumped on her husband's leg

This poor kid doesn't have a fair chance at this place. I hope this child's family finds somewhere that is more understanding of normal toddler/preschooler behavior.

[kath16]

May 16, 2019 8:18:05 GMT -5 kdubs923 said:

May 16, 2019 2:20:06 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

Ugh, that poor kid. DS was a more rambunctious than average toddler and I'd to think no one called him a bully, especially before 2. I want to tell that kid's parents to run far, far, away from that daycare.

Yup. Just chiming in to note that I'm still really angry about this post, for two reasons:
1. The way the teacher bad mouthed a 21 month old 
2. The way OP felt like something should be done about this bully kid who jumped on her husband's leg

This poor kid doesn't have a fair chance at this place. I hope this child's family finds somewhere that is more understanding of normal toddler/preschooler behavior.

ya know what, I actually must have skimmed over this part. 

i mean... i feel like most of us who have picked up a toddler at daycare have had that happen. it just happened to me the other day - i was giving my kids a hug and there is a girl with Down Syndrome who took it upon herself to give me a HUGE hug because she figured that's what we were doing! her mom had to eventually peel her off of me so I could go to work. i will tell you that "UGH GET THIS MISBEHAVED CHILD OFF OF ME" never for a split second crossed my mind. and I don't even generally like other people's kids!

so, i think the attitude of "he hugged my H's leg one day!" as though it's some terrible behavior is weird. maybe i'm misunderstanding what happened, but lumped in with the rest of the story, I honestly feel bad for the kid. i feel like this label will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[countthestars]

I get hugged at least once a week at drop off! DS’s class has a bunch of huggers. I don’t personally mind, but I gently remind DS and his approaching friend that it’s okay to say no or no thank you to a hug. I’m also not shy about saying “Olivia, it looks like DS doesn’t want a hug today” if he doesn’t have the courage or the words.

[osulori]

May 16, 2019 8:17:11 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

May 15, 2019 18:01:53 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

This made me giggle. I have a daughter with a very gentle temperament, and I know it has NOTHING to do with me, but I still enjoy all the compliments I get on her great behavior. I’m the best mom EVER! Lol/eye roll.

I would love for some gentle temperament, lol. The only comments I regularly get from folks is "he is a handful" or "you can't take your eyes off him for a minute!" or "wow, he is so active! when do you get anything done?" 

I have gotten SO much silent judgment from my sister, because AJ is f'ing crazy while my niece is usually NOT.  Yeah, that stopped once my nephew got mobile.  I just keep telling her "welcome to my life, sis!".

[pooh8402]

May 16, 2019 10:04:49 GMT -5 osulori said:

May 16, 2019 8:17:11 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I would love for some gentle temperament, lol. The only comments I regularly get from folks is "he is a handful" or "you can't take your eyes off him for a minute!" or "wow, he is so active! when do you get anything done?" 

I have gotten SO much silent judgment from my sister, because AJ is f'ing crazy while my niece is usually NOT.  Yeah, that stopped once my nephew got mobile.  I just keep telling her "welcome to my life, sis!".

I'm just glad my sister got 2 crazy kids, one boy, one girl. And her girl is the crazier one! No judgement whatsoever from her or my mom.

[sunflower17]

May 16, 2019 8:18:05 GMT -5 kdubs923 said:

May 16, 2019 2:20:06 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

Ugh, that poor kid. DS was a more rambunctious than average toddler and I'd to think no one called him a bully, especially before 2. I want to tell that kid's parents to run far, far, away from that daycare.

Yup. Just chiming in to note that I'm still really angry about this post, for two reasons:
1. The way the teacher bad mouthed a 21 month old 
2. The way OP felt like something should be done about this bully kid who jumped on her husband's leg

This poor kid doesn't have a fair chance at this place. I hope this child's family finds somewhere that is more understanding of normal toddler/preschooler behavior.

I actually think it’s cute when they hug. I didn’t mean anything negative by that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[kdubs923]

May 16, 2019 10:50:32 GMT -5 sunflower17 said:

May 16, 2019 8:18:05 GMT -5 kdubs923 said:

Yup. Just chiming in to note that I'm still really angry about this post, for two reasons:
1. The way the teacher bad mouthed a 21 month old 
2. The way OP felt like something should be done about this bully kid who jumped on her husband's leg

This poor kid doesn't have a fair chance at this place. I hope this child's family finds somewhere that is more understanding of normal toddler/preschooler behavior.

I actually think it’s cute when they hug. I didn’t mean anything negative by that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh, ok. Then why is it lumped together with examples of how this child "misbehaves daily"? 

May 14, 2019 11:53:30 GMT -5 sunflower17 said:

DD is 15 months in toddler room. There’s a boy “K” who is about 21 months old. He’s one of the bigger kids in the class. He has misbehaved daily in fri y of both me and H. Although he actually hung in H’s leg one evening at pick up. I witnessed him push a little girl twice yesterday and the second time she fell and cried. The teacher was walking over to intervene, but I couldn’t help to say No, we don’t hit! Probably not my place, but it’s not acceptable behavior. Anyway, several teachers and floaters have even called him a bully and commented that this is chronic behavior for him and his parents laugh it off. According to them he sits on other kids, pushes and doesn’t listen, stands on tables etc.

At this time, would you say something to the office? Am I overreacting? I’m concerned for the other kids including dd.

[knx9211]

kdubs923, I had the same reaction. And am now curious as to what the other "misbehaving" was in front of you and your H, OP. I hope that you've said something to the director about these unprofessional teachers.

[sunflower17]

May 16, 2019 11:33:12 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

kdubs923, I had the same reaction. And am now curious as to what the other "misbehaving" was in front of you and your H, OP. I hope that you've said something to the director about these unprofessional teachers.

I did speak to them about how multiple teachers have made inappropriate comments about a child. They said they will speak to them.