TWERK and DDOTS

[traveltheworld]

We had a meeting with the school's vice principal and she is starting the process of putting an IEP in place for DS. She gave some examples of things they could do to challenge DS and it all sounds encouraging. I'm really hoping it'll work out.

DH submitted his application for the director job at my company. As the online application portal happened to be down on the last day of the application, I had to go talk to HR to email his application in, so they know he is my husband. That was Monday. I don't know when they are supposed to be calling people for interviews, but I'm a ball of nerves. I hope he at least gets an interview. I'd feel so defeated otherwise (and yes, I know it shouldn't be about me, but I can't help it).

[mustardseed2007]

We have the kids' follow up with their endo last week. DS for sure has grown about half an inch since starting on growth hormones, which was exciting to see. But also that's not a huge amount so I don't know if the endo will find it significant. With DD I'm not sure b/c i haven't measured her yet.

My office is getting all new furniture instead of us replacing just what my boss took. This is exciting, but I'm a bit concerned it will take forever and...I want to move ASAP into his office. On the bright side, they are going to move his door to the other side of the room, which will make the entrance to my office closer to my admin. I like being a bit more connected, plus I think doing that will make it feel a lot less like his office b/c it will change the whole orientation of the room.

[rere]

mustardseed2007, How long has it been? DS started in March, so I don't think we could track significant growth yet (except in his feet for some reason, he has grown from a 7.5 to a 9.5 which is a bit expensive). He had a spurt of about 2.5 inches on his own before we started. I was really hoping for the 3-4 inches in a year like I read online.


Graduation for DD tonight!!! DH is taking her at noon to get her hair done. That should be interesting. He has to get DS at 1 at the high school because he only had to take a couple of finals. This is the last day of school for both. I am wondering if DD's mood is because of the changes coming up. Out of the school she has known for 9 years. Starting volleyball with the high school next week.


DS starts his first real job next week. He will be working landscaping and excavating. I hope this works out well. He has been wanting a job for a while, but I really don't want him to work fast food or retail right now. This summer work is pretty flexible and he has a lot of responsibilities now that he is an officer in his club. I want him to participate in his high school years.

[waverly]

Y'all I am not going to make it. I have something going on every single day until June with end of the year stuff.

[covergirl82]

waverly, I hate May because I start getting multiple emails per day from school. I feel like I need an admin assistant to keep up on them and tell me the important things.

[traveltheworld]

Well, this is a shocking turn of events - DH just got let go. The official reason is that it's too hard to have him commute back and forth. He got 4 months severance, so there's that. But I'm very stressed now. Neither of us have been let go before. It's really hard to find something in his field in our city (one of the reasons why he hasn't found anything in the 2 years since we moved here).

Ack! Just when I thought everything was finally going smoothly.

[mustardseed2007]

rere, DD started in late february. DS started First or 2nd week of March. So maybe 2 months or 2.5 months.

I am trying to keep myself from expecting growth but its hard to hold myself back!!

With DS it's more of a concern b/c I feel like if he sees results he's going to be more accepting of doing this treatment. Periodically he asks me why he has to do this, how long does he need to do it, and saying he's fine with being short. Which...at some point I do feel like I would need to listen to him. Especially because he says it calmly and rationally, although he only talks about it when he's actually about to get the shot.

[librarychica]

It’s looking like H will be going to Berlin in late November/early December. If I join him, on a scale of very cold to dead, how cold will I be?

I had some family drama last week, but survived. Pup training continues apace. Neither DD2 nor puppy have been sleeping last 4:30AM. End updates.

[mustardseed2007]

traveltheworld, I'm so sorry, what a shock. Does he need to work for your monthly budget to also work?

I'm wondering if ultimately he can find something else in some other line of work that he could do.

[mae0111]

Life is insane. DH is gone all the time. DD1 has had 2 good days in a row, so that’s been awesome. I can’t remember the last time that happened. But softball 2-3 night, 1-2 games on Saturdays, Running Club, DD1’s independent and group therapies, nutritionist... it’s wearing me out.

I’m still working on a new client. He was “98% sure” he wanted to work with me, but I can’t seem to nail him down. I’m going to keep trying.

DD1’s neuropsych report came back. Nothing surprising - huge executive functioning issues. She tested very high (10th grade levels) in some areas, and average (4th grade level) in others. For the lower scores, she could not organize herself in the task. All expected. Nothing to explain her abhorrent behavior.

I just had my first individual therapy appointment. It was amazing. I feel like crying. She understood where I was coming from and gave me real, actionable advice. I don’t feel better, but I feel like I have a little bit of a plan.

[mae0111]

traveltheworld - I’m really sorry. That’s so stressful. But hopefully he can find something better, soon.

[twinmomma]

mae0111, I'm so glad your first appointment went well! I find that my therapy appointments bounce between actionable help and just giving me a safe space to lose my shit for an hour. It's such a relief to have that built into the schedule. I hope you keep it up!

traveltheworld, I'm sorry! At least you have a bit of cushion to help with the transition. Was there any indication along the way that the arrangement wasn't working for his company?

[twinmomma]

I'm exhausted. I think my thyroid numbers must be off this week. I've gone to bed around 7:30 or 8 every night when my kids do and I can still barely stay awake during the day. And my skin is a dry mess. Got bloodwork done the other day, so we'll see what that says.

Tonight I've got the PTA meeting of all PTA meetings. It's going to be a very dramatic election and I just don't have the energy to be caught up in the drama. I still haven't formally resigned, as I had to get through the end of this year first. Ugh.

[traveltheworld]

mustardseed2007, yes, he does need to work to make our monthly budget work if we want to keep our nanny. With over-time etc., our nanny cost is almost the same as his post-tax salary. We had toyed with the idea of him being a SAHD, but he'd hate it.

twinmomma, looking back, there may have been signs. But he just got a good review and a good bonus in March, so it does come as a huge shock.

[k3am]

traveltheworld, I'm sorry. I'm glad they gave him such a generous severance package. Hopefully it provides enough time for him to get something lined up now that he can devote 100% of his energy to it. It can't be easy trying to job search, keep up his performance at work, AND commute.

[186momx]

traveltheworld, I'm sorry what a shock. I bet it has more to do than him not being in the office but they are using that as an easy reason.

twinmomma, I have that PTO meeting next week. We don't have a board just a president and her kid is a 5th grader. As I'm the only parent who has been attending I have this weird feeling that I'm going to be handed the book and told have fun. There is no way I have the time or bandwidth for this job as most of the work falls between December-May. I also don't think I could handle the principles last minute planning and I don't think she would want to be getting dates pinned down way in advance.

TWERK: No news from school regarding my parent meeting next week. Actually I never got a reply back from the principle. I think that I'm just going to drop it and bring it back up in the fall with the 3rd grade teacher at meet the teacher night. DD has totally checked out of school mentally. Instead of begging not to go to school I now get "I only have 23 more days to go" and "I hope C has a meltdown and causes us to have another room clear".

DDOTs: Is it bad I'm dreaming about going to the IRS forum to just get the hell away from everyone for a few days. None of the dates work for me to go. The education is only $235 for 19 hours which is cheap but the cost of flights and hotels would kill me (DC, Orlando, Chicago, New Orleans, San Diego are the locations).

[supertrooper1]

traveltheworld, I'm sorry it was sudden. Hopefully everything works out at your company!

mae0111, keep going! It took me several sessions to finally feel like I was making progress.

[k3am]

Work vent: We are a small, small team. My boss does all of our business development, and I do everything after that. I have told him time and time again, when he has a deal he likes, bring me in ASAP. Let me review it and make sure that the term sheet he sends out is one I can get approved. He's always on board with this idea... for a while. And then he gets frustrated that I tell him 'no' too often, and our CEO starts bitching in his other ear that we need to put on new business...

And then I end up getting a slew of term sheets executed that I have to complete all the diligence on. And they're deals we CAN'T do, but I can't use the ACTUAL reasons we can't do them as justification for turning it down.. because it's all information that he had BEFORE he issued the term sheet, so in the eyes of the prospect, it's all items that we were okay with.

I currently have 2 signed term sheets that I've spent over 30 hours each on.. I'm pretty sure that one has a 0% chance of closing, and the other is maybe at 15%.

And if that made sense to anyone other than me, I'm amazed.

[sdlaura]

traveltheworld, I'm sorry for your DH (and you).

librarychica, when DH was in business school in 2007 he did a project in Poland in early December. In mid-December I met him in Prague and we spent time in Prague, Budapest, and Rome. I was coming from New Hampshire at the time, not Florida, but it was fine. It was cool to see the Christmas markets and drink mulled wine and everything in Central and Eastern Europe. Europe is also so small that you could just meet him somewhere further South than Germany and have it be a little warmer.

[waverly]

traveltheworld, I remember posting on this board when I found out DH has lost his job, I think it was 3 or 4 years ago now. I am so sorry. It was a very difficult time for us, but the second time we went through it we were much less stressed and more prepared having gone through it the first time.

We were at a daycare, so we immediately dropped the kids down to 1-2 days a week so we could save money and he would still have childcare for job searching and interviewing, and I would flex my schedule to help with childcare too.

[covergirl82]

traveltheworld, I'm so sorry. I'm glad he was given a few months severance, and I hope he finds an even better job. My dad got let go suddenly from his job (he had been there only 2 years) at the end of my junior year in high school. He ended up finding a job he enjoyed much better (he was actually having stress nightmares from his job, which I didn't know at the time) a few months later, so him being let go was a blessing in disguise.

[traveltheworld]

k3am, I totally understand and in a way, sympathize with your post. That would be enormously frustrating. I think turning down term sheets without giving a legitimate reason is ok though. One of our asset groups frequently sources and signs up term sheets and maybe 1/10 deal lands on my desk for moving forward.

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure what we should do about our nanny situation. Honestly with DS in school most of the day and DD in pre-school from 9 - 12 every morning, DH could technically watch them the rest of the time and we wouldn't need our nanny. But I also don't want to reduce her hours / let her go. What if DH finds something quickly? I should wait a month or two before doing anything like that, right? And what about our planned landscaping? Should I still go ahead? FWIW - we should be fine for a while financially. I'm expecting a big bonus payment in a week and was going to put all of that towards paying down the mortgage, so I can just use that money.

[librarychica]

traveltheworld, I would keep the nanny for at least a month but put pause on the landscaping.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I hope he finds something quickly.

[k3am]

May 16, 2019 13:31:32 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

k3am , I totally understand and in a way, sympathize with your post. That would be enormously frustrating. I think turning down term sheets without giving a legitimate reason is ok though. One of our asset groups frequently sources and signs up term sheets and maybe 1/10 deal lands on my desk for moving forward.

Kind of sort of. We're regulated, so all of our declines go through a review process, and we have to state a reason for the turndown. I've already started working on the documentation for turning down one (yet ANOTHER time suck that I shouldn't be forced into doing)... 

[k3am]

traveltheworld, keep your nanny, at least for a month or two. YH should be treating finding a job like a job. And he can't do that if he's on kid duty.

Stall on your landscaping. If he finds something, that's great, you can still move forward with it. But if his timeline gets dragged out, you probably would rather have the money than a nice yard.

[supertrooper1]

My house goes on the market tomorrow. If it sells at the price our realtor things it should sell at, we should stand to make a good profit. I just hope it sells soon so that I can quit paying a mortgage and rent at the same time. STBXH has at least for now stopped ending all of his texts with "my lawyer will be reaching out to your lawyer".

My sewer line had a big clog in it from construction debris from when they built the house. Luckily the landlord was on top of it and had it fixed right away. I'm the first one to live in the house so I get to find all the problems.

DDOT: STBXH posted on FB a pic of his new girlfriend, the widowed teacher from previous posts, with the comment "Happy to spend Saturday with this beautiful lady". Gag. Funny thing is, they were out hiking or doing something. He never wanted to do anything on the weekends, so it's interesting how things have changed.

[mustardseed2007]

supertrooper1, hopefully him dating will take pressure off of you and he'll start acting like a reasonable, civil person again for the foreseeable!! Yes, gag, but silver linings, right?

[twinmomma]

supertrooper1, I've had those same thoughts about what ExH does now with new girl vs. me. I just try to remember that when we started dating he did a lot to "woo" me too. And then shit got real. I also removed ExH from my news feed for my own sanity. I decided I didn't want to know and compare, I want to live in ignorant bliss and just be able to keep tabs when necessary re: the kids. Otherwise I'd unfriend him altogether. I just can't seem to pull the trigger on that yet.

[2chatter]

k3am - what would happen if you asked your boss for the reason for the turn down? Tell him the actual reasons and ask him what reason should be provided. I am all about correcting that jacked up dynamic because in no world is it okay that you are spending 30 hours hoop jumping because your boss counts deals that will never work as prospecting.

Saw the cardiologist. My mitral valve leaks but not enough to matter. I have extra heartbeats (PVC and PAC) but it’s just an annoyance. Annual echocardiogram to monitor - so super relieved. He said my crazy swings are just how my heart works - it’s electrical and can be totally normal. He said with my stress test score I can work out at or above my max heart rate and to stop if I am dizzy or nauseous.

[2chatter]

I do hope the director position is a great fit traveltheworld and you end up with the “do we bank or spend the extra couple months of salary” question instead of the “what do we do with the nanny” question.

I’d wait on landscaping.