Post by cherry1111 on May 16, 2019 11:22:48 GMT -5
What do you think? Can you save seats for family coming or should you not sit down until everyone is there?
My son’s school had a little graduation ceremony this morning. I took him to school while my husband took our daughter to daycare. Since I got there first I put my phone and purse across 3 seats to save for him and my parents who were also coming. I made sure to sit towards the back so I wouldn’t be saving “prime real estate.” When a woman came and asked if one of my saved seats was taken a man behind me (who wasn’t associated with the woman) told me I was wrong to save seats and his wife launched into a speech about her and her husband having ethics and morals and that not everyone else does.
So what’s the consensus? Am I a huge unethical immoral jerk?
Post by lemoncupcake on May 16, 2019 11:29:41 GMT -5
Were there going to be enough seats for everyone? Or were you saving seats while people that had already arrived were going to have to stand because there were no open seats available?
Yeah if there were still open seats, whatev. I'd probably not try to save more than one, but it's not the end of the world. Even if mildly annoyed, her reaction is RIDICULOUS.
Were there going to be enough seats for everyone? Or were you saving seats while people that had already arrived were going to have to stand because there were no open seats available?
There were still open seats at that point. My parents and husband arrived within 5 minutes of this weird confrontation and there was still no one standing at that point or for a good 10 minutes after their arrival. I think there did end up being standing room only left at some point.
If you're talking 2-3 seats, I don't care. People want to sit together - let them. This is a weird thing to claim moral superiority over.
BUT if you're talking about saving for your entire extended family too... then I start to have issues. I went to a basketball game for DS this season and this family saved about 8 spots. When there are probably really only about 25 seats all together period.
That annoyed me. DH and I couldn't sit together.
But by and large - this isn't something I'm going to get upset over.
Post by InBetweenDays on May 16, 2019 12:08:54 GMT -5
This is such an issue at our school because our lunchroom is not big enough to hold the parents/families during performances. I don't see a problem saving a few seats for your H and parents. I do side-eye the people who save like 10 seats for their friends and friends' families who show up 5 minutes before the performance starts.
The worst, though, was one time when I volunteered to set up the chairs before the performance. Performance started at 6:30pm, kids had to be there at 6:00pm, we were to start setting up at 5:30pm. When we got there a family had pulled out and set up 5 chairs in the front row - just enough for their family - and put their stuff on them to save them. Then they had left and didn't come back until a few minutes before the performance started. If you're going to do that at least stick around to help set up!
huh, I have never thought of this as weird ever. I have definitely saved seats for large parties, in "prime" sections" and never gave it a second thought--it is just what everyone I know does.
I've never thought of it as weird either- as long as the people show up.
Last year at a school auction, I bid and won on front row seats to the kindergarten graduation. I sauntered in five min before it started only to find they didn't have my seats reserved. I was pissed and looked like an asshole probably to others sitting there. They did add seats but I felt weird about the the whole thing. After I made sure to check my email that I did in fact win and pay. They had seats set up for everyone else that won too so I don't know why my name was omitted.
It doesn’t bother me when people save for their immediate family, but saving prime spots for an extended family or friends (requiring parents who are already there to sit far back or be separated from each other) is really annoying.
Post by minniemouse on May 16, 2019 12:48:04 GMT -5
That guy is a jerk for trying to embarrass you like that. Most people around here save a seat or two. It’s usually not a big deal. Saving a whole row or two would be annoying.
it's pretty typical here at school function and even at church at packed services like Christmas Eve and Easter, lol! It doesn't seem to bother most people although my friend said a couple of dads got into a FIST FIGHT over savings seats at a dance recital!! Fortunately our dance studio sells tickets with assigned seats!
Post by jennistarr1 on May 16, 2019 13:43:16 GMT -5
how many minutes before the scheduled start time did this happen and how full was the auditorium
I'm definitely team you but I can someone see a point when even your seats at the back of the auditorium are now prime real estate because they've filled up so much. Also, it sits a little funnier when someone who arrives on time can't have a seat because its being saved for someone who is late
Post by AdaraMarie on May 16, 2019 13:43:21 GMT -5
I think what you did was fine, there are times when it's not fine. Last month I was at a school event for mothers and kids and there were tables but not enough space for everyone to sit and eat (terrible event). One mom and kid were trying to save an entire 8 person table for people who weren't there yet. That was a bit much for me.
I think it's fine, but I see why there is a gray area. There was still no need to get rude like that person did. My kids' preschool did special events in the evening at the very small church attached to the school. I would always get there earlier than needed to be able to get decent seats and I would ask DH to leave work a little early so he wouldn't be strolling in late. We would normally save seats for my parents who both worked and had to drive 40ish minutes to be there. Sometimes events were standing room only and my mom has orthopedic issues and definitely can't stand for an hour. But some people would save 8 or 9 front row seats for extended family or other parents from the school and I feel like that is excessive.
Post by cherry1111 on May 16, 2019 14:16:07 GMT -5
Ok thank you for confirming I’m not a terrible human. I’m totally non confrontational and admittedly need to grow thicker skin and it really put a damper on the whole event knowing these two people were sitting right behind me. I would never try to take up an entire row and if someone had asked me to shift seats down or something so they could fit 1 more person in the empty seats that would be no problem. I was saving the seats for less than 10 minutes before everyone got there so I guess I could have just waited for them to arrive to sit down. I just had no idea it would set someone off (who wasn’t even impacted by it).
Post by expectantsteelerfan on May 16, 2019 14:23:00 GMT -5
I feel like it's one of those things that can't be avoided. For dd's dance recital, it got so bad that they started issuing tickets with seat numbers. For years, people would come earlier and earlier to start lining up to get those tickets, then they made it online. Now, as soon as you are able to get tickets (10 AM on a Sunday morning a few weeks before the show), people sit at their computers and refresh and refresh until it opens, and then entire rows are gone in an instant. We have 15 people coming to the recital each year, so I try to get 8 in one row and 7 behind, and the best I can usually get is halfway back on the side for that even right at 10 AM.
And at church on Christmas, my inlaws go early to get seats for the whole family. The church knows it will be packed, they have 2 priest doing mass simultaneously in the main church and in the family life center, and the main church is also broadcast in the auditorium on a big screen. And in all 3 locations, by the time mass actually starts, there are people standing in the back because all seats are taken. My inlaws try to get seats in the family life center, and it's the 2 of them, SIL and her fiance who are coming from 45 min away, BIL and his wife and 2 year old coming from an hour away, and the 4 of us, so 11 seats. Now that my kids are older, we try to go early to help them save the seats, but 2 people saving 11 seats when you KNOW all the seats will be filled is rough and they get lots of stink eyes, but I don't think anyone has ever said anything to them.
First, that reaction is so over the top that even if you had been saving ten seats you would still be in the right because OMG get a grip lady.
Saving seats is annoying. It’s not just about prime seats, but about the number you can get together. If everyone saves seats, then over time people arrive earlier and earlier and lay down stuff and leave and it’s a big mess. But at the same time, ten minutes is the same amount of time it could have taken if they were all just taking a pre show bathroom break, you know?
I prefer seat numbers assigned, second choice is the venue announces whether saving seats is allowed.
It would never occur to me to be annoyed by this. Lord help me, I am not prepared for other parents. I also have a terrible poker face and a really weak ability to hold me tongue. And my sarcasm runs thick. So basically, it’s going to be a long road for K-12 for us if these are the things causing bunched panties these days.
Saving a lot of seats is annoying, but people are annoying so it's expected. You saved a couple of seats in the back for a short time. They could have been in the bathroom for all anyone knew. I think saving a row of seats in the front rows for big events is really obnoxious, and even then I wouldn't go off like that. At our son's school concert this year 4 people walked in just as it was starting and the person who has saved them seats in the 3rd row said loudly, "We didn't know if we're coming tonight, but we saved you seats anyway." How nice.
Honestly, I think parking your entire extended family in the front rows for preschool or kindergarten graduations is obnoxious as well, no matter what time they arrive. A parent watching their only child's kindergarten graduation shouldn't have to sit at the back of the room and see nothing so 3 great aunts and 4 sets of granparents can get the best view of the 10th kindergarten graduation ceremony they're watching.
Honestly, I think parking your entire extended family in the front rows for preschool or kindergarten graduations is obnoxious as well, no matter what time they arrive. A parent watching their only child's kindergarten graduation shouldn't have to sit at the back of the room and see nothing so 3 great aunts and 4 sets of granparents can get the best view of the 10th kindergarten graduation ceremony they're watching.
Post by ilikedonuts on May 16, 2019 20:29:58 GMT -5
DH saved me a front row seat this morning at DD2’s preschool graduation. The guy behind him saved an entire row (12+ seats) for 3 sets of grandparents and random siblings 😳
IMO saving seats for anyone other than parents in the prime areas is rude. It annoys the heck out of me when I can’t even see my own kid for programs or whatever because 18,000 grandparents are in front of me. They should sit in the back f there is space in my opinion. You had your kids time...let me see mine.
Everyone saves seats at our school. People line up early to save the best seats. 3 seats in the back wouldn’t even make my radar. In fact my mom saved 3 seats tonight for my kids’ school thing (in the back row). I get annoyed at the ppl saving an entire row down front for all their extended family. That’s obnoxious. But otherwise, of course you want to sit with your spouse. What a strange thing for ppl to call out.
I think it's annoying. I might save one seat for my husband if I know he's a few minutes away but not in other cases. We don't have to sit together at everything and our stuff like that tends to be very crowded (small space). I'm irritated when people do it.
I wouldn't say something to someone about it though. I don't care enough to make a scene.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
DH saved me a front row seat this morning at DD2’s preschool graduation. The guy behind him saved an entire row (12+ seats) for 3 sets of grandparents and random siblings 😳