Baby refusing bottles

[pooh8402]

Okay this will be long, I'm sorry.

So E2 is 9 weeks old now. His first day of daycare is the day after Memorial Day, so he'll be 10w5d then. He is refusing bottles. The last time he successfully took a bottle was April 24z and he chugged 3 oz per my MIL. The next time we attempted a bottle was a week later and he flat refused. Basically since the beginning of May, I've been attempting to try him on bottles and he won't take more than 1/2 oz then he refuses to latch. Even if H attempts (although H is not at all patient) and even MIL has tried, with me not even in the house.

He gets EBM in Tommee Tippee bottles. E1 used these and these are the ones I would prefer because I've got 8 of them already. I've also tried Avent Natural bottles (had a couple left from E1) and same result. I've just received the Nuk simply natural bottles but have yet to take them out of the package. These have the same nipple shape as the pacifiers.

Pacifiers too. He mostly seems to be unable to latch to a pacifier? Like he just swirls his tongue around. I've tried Soothies, Mam, Gerber, Nuk, and the new Tommee Tippee. He takes the Nuk and the Tommee Tippee, sometimes, IF he's in a good mood, willing to try, and not for longer than like 5 minutes.

I've considered lipase, although I don't smell soap, and he took them easily until like 2 weeks ago. My BM does have a weird aftertaste, but it tastes the same to me whether it is freshly expressed or has been in the fridge a couple days. He also used to take them pretty cool.

Should I try warming the bottles more, rather than just taking the chill off? Should I try adding a drop or two of imitation vanilla (I saw this in a FB group for working moms)? Should I just let daycare figure it out? DH will need to give bottles at home while waiting for me to come home from work. I'll be out of the house a minimum of 13 hours for 2-3 days a week.

[pooh8402]

I do have a 3 hour hair appointment next week when I have MIL lined up to babysit.

[countthestars]

Ugh, bottle refusal is so stressful! Warming the bottle to WARM was the only thing that really helped my kids. They didn't want it room temp at all. They also did much better sitting more upright and facing away from the feeder.

[larzhope]

same with my kiddo. it needed to be warm! we gradually tried to decrease the time in the warmer to get her to take cold bottles and it would get down to a certain temp and she would refuse.

[noodleoo]

Definitely try heating the bottle! We had this issue with DD2 and once we started heating the bottle more she gulped them down! It makes sense, after all milk from the tap is pretty hot at body temp!

Have you been giving the bottles or someone else? I’ve heard some babies won’t take bottles from their moms, they want the boob. If your H or someone else, have them try holding a blanket or piece of clothing that smells like you. Our daycare provider said she had one kid where she had to hold moms shirt under her arm while she fed for the baby to take the bottle.

I’m trying to remember the other tips we got. I think I had the same post but luckily we solved it pretty fast by heating the bottles up more.

[pooh8402]

May 16, 2019 16:30:51 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Definitely try heating the bottle! We had this issue with DD2 and once we started heating the bottle more she gulped them down! It makes sense, after all milk from the tap is pretty hot at body temp!

Have you been giving the bottles or someone else? I’ve heard babies won’t take bottles from their moms, they want the boob. If you H or someone else, have them try holding a blanket or piece of clothing that smells like you. Our daycare provider said she had one kid where she had to hold moms shirt under her arm while she fed for the baby to take the bottle.

I’m trying to remember the other tips we got. I think I had the same pots but luckily we solved it pretty fast by heating the bottles up more.

Yea, DH has tried and MIL has tried. I do have these little cloths that I wear in my bra, that MIL and her quilting group made specifically for this purpose! (They're super cute, heart shaped and with Winnie the Pooh fabrics.) The last time MIL attempted a bottle, she used one of these.

I'll definitely try heating the bottles more.

[katespade]

I agree with PPs about heating the bottle a bit more. DD will drink it chilled, but definitely prefers it warmer (around body temperature).

Also, I know you don't want to buy anything new, but we use Lansinoh NaturalWave Slow-Flow Nipples.

[osulori]

I would avoid adding flavor to his EBM at this age-you'd run the risk of him deciding he really likes it and developing a preference to that over nursing. Plus their little GI systems aren't made for more than BM or formula at this age.

Ditto PPs on warming up his bottles a bit and see if that helps. Ultimately you may have to just let daycare sort it out It sucks but more often than not the baby is usually able to figure it out while they're there. One thing to keep in mind-try to avoid pushing the bottle if he's upset. Have whoever's feeding him get him calmed down if they can before trying again...repeatedly trying the bottle when a baby's already pissed off with just make them more mad and frustrate/upset the feeder, plus it puts the baby at more risk for developing a full on bottle aversion.

[pooh8402]

All good points osulori, thanks.

I'm less worried about daycare, and more worried about DH. He'll have the baby for about 2 hours before I get home, with a 3 year old as well. I already know he'll be stressed just because it's the end of the day and E1 will be cranky/hungry and the last thing he will want is a hungry baby who won't take a bottle.

I know the answer is that he has to successfully give a bottle before I go back to work (which isn't until June 3, so we have some time) but I also know that he'll keep pushing off that particular task until it's too late "because it's easier for you to feed him."

[Mushe]

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. My DS was a bear with bottles. What eventually worked was the repetition of being at daycare plus getting the EBM really warm. We had to kind of tickle the top of his mouth to get him to start sucking.

I hope you’re able to get him squared away! I know it’s stressful.

[statgirl]

My first was a bottle refuser. We did lots of little bottles to daycare since they had to throw out attempts. He eventually decided he liked to be fed sitting up facing out when starving—it could be NOTHING like nursing. Once he could hold his bottle, he chose to take it laying down barely warm and chug. Starting around six months, he got one large bottle midday which he would essentially beer chug like a baby frat boy straight from the fridge complete with passing out for nap time immediately after (Daycare invited me to watch from outside the classroom one day because he was so weird). So, my advice is to try weird things and see if they work—feed upright, try cold, try hot, feed laying down, etc.

[noodleoo]

May 16, 2019 16:46:03 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

All good points osulori, thanks.

I'm less worried about daycare, and more worried about DH. He'll have the baby for about 2 hours before I get home, with a 3 year old as well. I already know he'll be stressed just because it's the end of the day and E1 will be cranky/hungry and the last thing he will want is a hungry baby who won't take a bottle.

I know the answer is that he has to successfully give a bottle before I go back to work (which isn't until June 3, so we have some time) but I also know that he'll keep pushing off that particular task until it's too late "because it's easier for you to feed him."

I actually would try not to worry about this too much. I was afraid if this too as H was on paternity leave for a month when I went back to work. The first week DD2 barely ate while I was gone and honestly, she was fine. She made up for it when I got back, which wasn’t ideal, but we all survived. By the second week we figured out the hot bottle trick and suddenly she ate a ton more. I’m saying don’t stress too much, your H and baby will figure it out after you go back. We tried the whole practice thing in preparation too but it just caused more stress than needed. I think some babies are stubborn and will resist until they finally realize there is no other option, LOL!

[pooh8402]

I brought a WARM bottle, like body temperature, to family dinner tonight. MIL got him to drink the whole ounce that I brought, but it took her about 30 minutes, and she said he licked more than sucked, lol. She fed him outside, with him laying on her lap looking up.

So... maybe it's a nipple/bottle issue? Like he just doesn't like this bottle? It was the tommee tippee again.

[lindyanne]

A friend had a similar issue and it was tied to bottle temperature

[lacey]

Can you try one of those really cheap, not at all natural bottles? I think Target and Walmart have them for $1-$2. I am pretty sure I read here, that some babies preferred those and it's a very minimal investment to try it out.

[tacom]

My kid still refuses bottles at 8.5 months. If the milk is hot (not even warm), he will take an oz or two at a time—otherwise nothing. Positioning also matters for us and is dependent on who is feeding him (sitter v me v husband). Regarding nipples, my son hates TT, avent and doctor brown; we have had the most luck with the disposable nipples from the NICU. My 22lb crawling baby with six teeth uses NICU nipples. It’s ridiculous.

I hope you have better luck!

[lacey]

Another random thought. Have you tried a faster nipple if you have a strong letdown?

[pooh8402]

May 16, 2019 22:24:08 GMT -5 lacey said:

Another random thought. Have you tried a faster nipple if you have a strong letdown?

I haven't, and I do have a strong letdown. That's a good thought, thanks!

[pooh8402]

May 16, 2019 16:39:17 GMT -5 katespade said:

I agree with PPs about heating the bottle a bit more. DD will drink it chilled, but definitely prefers it warmer (around body temperature).

Also, I know you don't want to buy anything new, but we use Lansinoh NaturalWave Slow-Flow Nipples.

I think I will try these too. I just read that these nipples are compatible with the Philips Avent bottles I already have. Thanks!

[pooh8402]

May 16, 2019 22:08:06 GMT -5 lacey said:

Can you try one of those really cheap, not at all natural bottles? I think Target and Walmart have them for $1-$2. I am pretty sure I read here, that some babies preferred those and it's a very minimal investment to try it out.

Could definitely do this. I could start with the Medela nipples and bottles I already have, that came with my pump.

[turboteal]

We tried several bottles and she finally took the lansinoh momma ones, with very warm milk. The nipple shape seems more natural and squishable than others. My girl also will not do pacifiers (she mostly kinda chews on them and will suck a little sometimes, usually while holding them sideways 🤦‍♀️). I also have a fast/strong letdown (like 5-7 separate streams, spray her whole face wet in seconds if she pulls off) but she still seemed surprised and gasped and unlatched from any of the other bottles we tried (avent natural, comotomo), even with slow flow nipples. The TommeeTippee nipple was just way too big/long and she would gag on it. Go figure.

[osulori]

May 16, 2019 22:36:08 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

May 16, 2019 22:24:08 GMT -5 lacey said:

Another random thought. Have you tried a faster nipple if you have a strong letdown?

I haven't, and I do have a strong letdown. That's a good thought, thanks!

 Tommee Tippee slow flow nipples tend to be a slower flow rate than slow flow nipples from other brands (gaaaah why can't this stuff be regulated better?) so he miiiight be getting frustrated if he's used to a faster rate in general.  Both Avent and Lansinoh slow flow nipples have shown to be faster than Tommee Tippee so hopefully you have better luck with those!

[pooh8402]

I ordered faster flow TT nipples and the Lansinoh slow flow to try. Thanks yall!

[ebeth]

May 16, 2019 22:36:08 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

May 16, 2019 22:24:08 GMT -5 lacey said:

Another random thought. Have you tried a faster nipple if you have a strong letdown?

I haven't, and I do have a strong letdown. That's a good thought, thanks!

ditto this.  I had a forceful let down and a bottle refuser. LC recommended a faster flow because she just didn't have to work very hard to get milk when nursing. 

what worked for us was warming the bottles and lots of distraction (outside, bouncing on yoga ball, reverse cradle in front of a mirror, etc).  I had more success than my H because he just wasn't very patient.  However, we did have a medicine dropper/syringe (one of those 5cc syringes, not the ones that come with medicine) as a back up for H to get milk in her if I wasn't around and the bottle wasn't working.  He only went that route once but it was good to have a back up just in case.  

[simpsongal]

May 16, 2019 17:27:25 GMT -5 Mushe said:

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. My DS was a bear with bottles. What eventually worked was the repetition of being at daycare plus getting the EBM really warm. We had to kind of tickle the top of his mouth to get him to start sucking.

I hope you’re able to get him squared away! I know it’s stressful.

ditto. Y’all probably remember my second was a bottle refuser. It just took time to wear her down. After a week plus, daycare almost refused to take her. Eventually she gave in. Try everything - I hope it clicks soon! Hair pats.

[Shreddingbetty]

My kid refused a bottle as well. She went to daycare around 6 months. She would not take it from my H and I ended up finally having to leave the house and had a friend come in and try. It was a struggle but she finally did. She was only at daycare 3 mornings a week and I don’t think she ever took more than 3 ounces at daycare. She just wanted boob but she did take it without a problem at daycare. My kid also never took a pacifier or sucked her thumb.

[achi]

I’m sorry, that is so stressful. DS went though a major bottle refusal stage right around the same age. The only thing that seemed to help was making it very warm, almost to the point that I was uncomfortable giving it to him, but he would wolf it down.

[pooh8402]

We had some mild success tonight. Lansinoh slow flow nipple in the Avent bottle (only because I already had the bottle, I'm trying to reduce how much I'm buying!), very warm, and laying flat on my lap. And I have to point the nipple up to the roof of his mouth, aiming for that spot where the hard palate meets the soft palate. We did 2 successful feedings today, of an ounce and ounce and a half.

I want to try for a few more days before declaring success, but I'm encouraged!

Now... why doesn't Lansinoh make a pacifier with the same nipple shape?

[ladyfern]

1) does he have a tongue tie? Can you get him to suck on your finger? Is he actually sucking at breast or just letting your milk pour in and compressing the nipple to pause the flow? He may have a posterior tongue tie if he has such difficulty sucking.
2) another nipple to try is the Avent variable flow nipple. It has a slit rather than a hole and if you rotate it, it goes from slow to medium to fast flow. I use it with kids who need thickened feeds, but it can also be successful for kids with a mashing type suck rather than a true suction-y suck because of the opening. If none of those work, another option is a soft spout sippy such as the Munchkin Latch Transition Cup. There is always spoon or small open cup as a last resort!

[jene]

May 18, 2019 22:09:04 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

We had some mild success tonight. Lansinoh slow flow nipple in the Avent bottle (only because I already had the bottle, I'm trying to reduce how much I'm buying!), very warm, and laying flat on my lap. And I have to point the nipple up to the roof of his mouth, aiming for that spot where the hard palate meets the soft palate. We did 2 successful feedings today, of an ounce and ounce and a half.

I want to try for a few more days before declaring success, but I'm encouraged!

Now... why doesn't Lansinoh make a pacifier with the same nipple shape?

If you end up using the avent bottles and want some more, let me know. I still have a ton left over from DS2.