As I’ve gotten older, it takes a lot of...pressure/vigor...for me to orgasm. I’ve always had trouble expressing what i want/need in bed so I’m having trouble getting comfortable to even bring it up with H, but moreso with feeling like it would be uncomfortable/hard for me to relax while he’s putting that much manual effort in, but feel like a vibrator would easily do it. But is it weird to use that almost every time we have sex?
Always. Early on with my now-husband, I basically said if it’s gonna happen, we need to use this. And so we do.
Eta: I brought it up very early in our sex life because I wanted to get any awkwardness about the topic out of the way early and, honestly, to gauge his reaction to it.
I don’t think it’s weird. Maybe a wevibe would make you feel less weird since it could be used at the same time & not feel so much as an afterwards thing?
Post by sapphireblue on May 20, 2019 19:23:35 GMT -5
We used to use it occasionally. It used to be once in a while when I would feel like what normally would work (usually oral from him) just, for whatever reason, wasn't going to get me over the edge.
It does seem like lately I need it more. Like I need the added intensity it provides. We have a rabbit. We have a lot of toys but that's the one I want when I call for the vibrator!
I kind of want to barf thinking about bringing it up to H. At first I was thinking it was temporary or something was just off for awhile, like I wasn’t turned on enough so i didn’t say anything. But now I need to be like, “Sooooo I’m not actually getting off anymore.” And I’m worried it will hurt his feelings.
I kind of want to barf thinking about bringing it up to H. At first I was thinking it was temporary or something was just off for awhile, like I wasn’t turned on enough so i didn’t say anything. But now I need to be like, “Sooooo I’m not actually getting off anymore.” And I’m worried it will hurt his feelings.
Buy lube and a Pocket Rocket. Light a candle, put on music in your underwear and say “I want to try this”.
I guarantee he’ll say “Sure!” with a big smile.
Men aren’t that complicated. You are setting yourself - and really both of you - for a good time. It’s just fun.
Post by whitemerlot on May 20, 2019 19:46:04 GMT -5
I totally agree that I would not say anything about things not being great in the past. I’d just have it be a fun thing to add and then if it works out, maybe you can just say that it was extra fun/awesome and you’d like to keep using it.
When I was 21 I had my clitoris pierced and it broke me 😞 I haven't been able to have an orgasm from just intercourse since. I either need a toy or oral coupled with nipple stimulation. DH doesn't mind because he truly wants me to be satisfied, just as I'm sure yours does.
I've never had a gspot orgasm and that makes me sad. And not for lack of trying either. I've got a lot of toys but it's never happened. I actually just bought one from that list circa posted in the other thread. Hoping it helps!
I’ve never used a vibrator at all but I just asked H if he’d be bothered if I said hey I want to start using a vibrator during sex so I can have better orgasms and he said no of course not. Now he’s trying to get me to buy one
yeah, I feel like most guys would think this is kind of hot. Nearly every guy I have ever been with would love to watch me masturbate. I do not feel the same way about watching them.lol Anyway, I think this would kind of combine that desire and yet they are still part of the action. i say bring it up!
yeah, I feel like most guys would think this is kind of hot. Nearly every guy I have ever been with would love to watch me masturbate. I do not feel the same way about watching them.lol Anyway, I think this would kind of combine that desire and yet they are still part of the action. i say bring it up!
Re: watching them masturbate. The velocity is astonishing. Like, their hand is a blur. It’s amazing.
yeah, I feel like most guys would think this is kind of hot. Nearly every guy I have ever been with would love to watch me masturbate. I do not feel the same way about watching them.lol Anyway, I think this would kind of combine that desire and yet they are still part of the action. i say bring it up!
Re: watching them masturbate. The velocity is astonishing. Like, their hand is a blur. It’s amazing.
I believe it. honestly, i was not big into giving handies because I could never do it as well as them. I know that is not the point, but there you have it. Also, the hand position never feels quite right. I kind of feel the same about guys and digitally handling things. It is ok, but other things are better.
Post by sapphireblue on May 20, 2019 20:31:05 GMT -5
I get why you feel so nervous about bringing it up to your H. But here is the thing (and I have to remind myself of this at times too):
Most guys think there is nothing sexier than a woman asking for what she wants in bed and seeing her get super turned on and then having a great orgasm.
I felt like the first time I asked for the vibrator, I had to explain later that he was pleasing me in bed, I just could tell I wasn't going to be able to finish without that extra push of the vibrator. I was all concerned about his feelings.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
yeah, I feel like most guys would think this is kind of hot. Nearly every guy I have ever been with would love to watch me masturbate. I do not feel the same way about watching them.lol Anyway, I think this would kind of combine that desire and yet they are still part of the action. i say bring it up!
Re: watching them masturbate. The velocity is astonishing. Like, their hand is a blur. It’s amazing.