The thread where we complain

[humpforfree]

Aug 12, 2019 20:36:40 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Aug 12, 2019 20:17:02 GMT -5 humpforfree said:

Anecdote! I had the slow “induction” for my vbac and it worked! I was maybe 1cm when I had to deliver due to low fluid. They let me attempt vbac before going to CS. They stripped membranes and had me walk for a couple of hours. I did make enough progress that they let me keep going. Basically doing that. After several hours they started the lowest dose of pitocin. They made me stay in bed to monitor the baby so I couldn’t even keep walking to encourage progress after that. It took like 12-14 hours before they got me up to a decent level of pitocin, just slowwwwwwly increasing based on progress and how the baby responded. It was about 18 hours later before I was ready to push, but it did happen!

Hopefully they give you a chance to show any sort of slow progress! GL!

I would love to attempt this! Unfortunately, I think I might have picked the wrong practice. My doctor today said we’d need 48 hours of call doctors (so 2) that support this in order to attempt. She said she supports it but she’s not on call this week and the other doctor who supports it is on vacation. It sucks that it comes down to that.

Ugh I’m so sorry. I actually showed up to the hospital and checked in for a CS because they said they wouldn’t induce for a VBAC. Then the dr on duty was the only one I hadn’t met and she introduced herself by saying she’s the only one in the practice that doesn’t do/support VBACs (at all.. wtf). But for some reason she allowed me to walk and then let me keep going. Idk. It was such a mind F being all over and not knowing how I was going to deliver, right up through the time I was laying in the bed in a gown. I’m sorry that it’s not working out 😢

[noodleoo]

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

[sewf]

Aug 12, 2019 21:27:28 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

This is how I felt on our first vacation as a family of four. It was like I packed for myself and the kids, started days early to make sure I had everything we could possibly need. Then H packs an hour before we leave, only has to take care of his own things. When we got to our destination, I realized I forgot something, and he treated it like I forgot a kid. No, jackass, I just packed for three people! Give me a break!

Our trip last month was much better, on the H front, because he got an earful from me. I still forgot my toiletries, though. Mom brain, I think.

[lolo]

Aug 12, 2019 21:27:28 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

I'm so sorry it went poorly. It really sucks to look forward to something and have it be a disappointment.


In case you want ideas:
Have you tried assigning tasks in the moment? I know it's fucking ridiculous to tell a grown ass man how to do stuff. At the same time, it might be a step in the right direction. I'll do stuff like, 'I'm going to get the kids dressed for today. Can you pack the diaper bag while I do that?' We have a list of diaper bag contents on the fridge. At one point, I finally said to DH, can you just plan to do the diaper bag every time unless I get there first? And I have only had to remind him once or twice in a couple of years.

I've also created camp check lists and school check lists so we are both aware of what needs to happen. I am running point in that I'm creating the list, yes, but honestly I would do that for just me because it's a lot to keep track of!

Finally, we actually assign tasks now before trips. At this point, we know what they are (for example, I pack kids clothes plus diapers and all airplane snacks; DH handles all electronics, loads kids' tablets with shows, and all kids' toiletries and hygeine stuff). It might help next time to assign him to do stuff.

And when he says, wow, I would really like to do a day trip! You say, that sounds great! I'll manage x aspect and you do y, ok? And then you let shit happen and talk about it and get better next time. ❤️

[statgirl]

Aug 12, 2019 21:27:28 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

Commiseration. We do yearly beach trips with family (not that glamorous—everyone is in one cabin) and from the time the first was born until he was 5/little one 3, it SUCKED. Just way more work than home and it was a trip not a vacation. Last year, (at 5 and 3), it was work but it was fun. This year we did something else (hurricane Michael got the area) and at 6/4, it was pleasant and I actually got to read a book that was for me. There is hope. Still trips, not vacations, but at least the trips are now pleasant.

[shauni27]

Aug 12, 2019 19:34:42 GMT -5 timorousbeastie said:

At the beginning of summer, DD's school sent out the supply list for this coming year. A couple weeks ago, I took DD to do all her back to school shopping. Today, I got an email from the school, talking about the schedule for the first week of class. It also included a copy of the supply list....... It's a completely different list. Different quantities, different sizes, different supplies altogether. Both copies of the list have all the grades' lists, from K to 5th grade. Each grade is different from the 1st version to the 2nd version. Guess I'm doing a second round of back to school shopping.

Hell no. I would be contacting the school and confirming. 


noodleoo, I am really sorry. That is so hard. Our first real vacation with a baby felt the same way. But I promise it gets better. 

knx9211 I am sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed right now and that H is not helping and is instead contributing to the feeling. It sucks when you feel out of sync.

icedcoffee fingers crossed that something happens in the next few days!!


my complaints are all finance related and really too heavy and overwhelming for me to write about on here. But we are struggling. Financially. With our jobs (wanting something more, etc), with our relationship being a priority, with our health, etc. Blah. I know it will get better which helps, but man, it sucks right now.

[lovelyshoes]

shauni27 I hope it gets better and you’re able to get some help. That’s a lot of stress to deal with.

knx9211 I hope your h gets his shit together, moving is hard enough (speaking as someone who’s getting annoyed and resentful at her own h for making the home buying process difficult).
Why is he not fully in board with you leaving work if you handle all the home stuff?

[expectantsteelerfan]

My dd's birthday party is supposed to be this afternoon at the pool we belong to. There is a 50-75% chance of thunderstorms at the time of the party . The weather here can be really unpredictable, so I can't even decide if I should cancel the party now and try to reschedule, or wait till closer to the party and see what the weather is actually like, but either way my dd is super bummed right now.

[corgimom]

Aug 12, 2019 18:23:57 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

My doctor won’t induce me and won’t let me go past my due date (Thursday). I’m barely 1 cm, very high and very thick. My doctor was able to strip my membrane somehow but said most other doctors wouldn’t consider me even 1 cm. C/S is inevitable I think.

DS1 has been a terror lately. Tonight he threw a toy bottle at my face and I cried. A lot. Is it normal to resent your kid as you get closer to delivering your second?

Add your own.

Sending you good vibes that you go into labor soon!

For what it's worth, I was maaaybe 1cm at exactly 40 weeks and my midwife said she'd let me go to 42 weeks but asked if I wanted my membranes swiped to see if it would move things along - this was Wednesday. I had contractions for the next several days and finally went to the birthing center at the hospital Friday at 11pm - I was only barely 3cm! Still they set me up in a room and even after my water broke on it's own everyone thought I was progressing too slow and would need pitocin. By 6am I was at 7cm and DD was born just after noon.
All that to say is that it felt like things were not happening and then yup, suddenly they were! So fingers crossed you!!

[icedcoffee]

Thanks everyone! I think part of my frustration stems from how after DS1 was born (breech, c/s) everyone was all "Don't worry---you are an excellent candidate for a VBAC!!" Blah Blah. What they actually meant was "If you go into labor before 50% of women do on their due date and don't need anything we will catch the baby, otherwise we'll make you have a c/s".

I'm coming to terms with it. I mean, hopefully it still happens, but I'm planning on a c/s at this point.

[expectantsteelerfan]

Aug 12, 2019 21:27:28 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

I had high hopes for our vacation that we just got back from, but it was still somewhat of a letdown.  

My h has not gotten any better at helping with trips.  I researched and booked the trip with little input from him. I packed for myself and the kids, he packed for himself.  When we got there, I made all the beds, unpacked all the kids stuff, and organized everything, made a grocery list, and unpacked the groceries after we went shopping.  During the trip I planned almost all activities, got up with the kids in the morning and got them ready.  I re-packed when it was time to go home, and then unpacked and did all the laundry at home.  H basically loaded and unleaded the car, packed for himself, and showed up.

The actual vacation was still enjoyable, but my dd is at a rough age and has been a handful all summer.  She is full of opinions and emotions and incredibly stubborn, so we had lots of days where she would beg all day to do something (like play minigolf or rent bikes) and then we do it, and she complains the WHOLE TIME and makes everyone miserable because it's too hot or too crowded or too whatever.  It was really frustrating, but we tried not to let her ruin it for us, esp. since as I said, she's been like this all summer.

[mbcdefg]

I’d like to replace both our cars - Honda Civic and Ford Focus - because the car seat takes up a ton of room, and we’re still on the fence about #2 so it’d be even tighter. But they’re a 2017 and 2015 respectively so it’s not a top priority right now.

I’m only 5’4” with really stumpy legs but I still feel cramped in the passenger seat of MH’s Civic especially when I have a bag under my feet - which of course I need to have handy because DD wants a toy or snack or water every 40 seconds when we’re driving or else she screams and then MH complains. And we never take my Focus on family trips because then MH’s knees are practically up to his chest.

I also WFH now and I’m in the spare bedroom/office upstairs. One of our (THREE, so much GD fur all over the damn house no matter how often and well we clean) cats sat outside the door meowing until I let her in, and now she’s walking around meowing loudly and I just want to fly off to the moon by myself right now.

[Susie]

Aug 12, 2019 19:38:20 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Aug 12, 2019 19:14:10 GMT -5 Saudade said:

did you dilate during your previous pregnancy? are they insisting on not letting you go past your due date?

I did a vbac for #2 and #3 and while my provider wouldn't do cytotec, they were still open to other options, should that have been necessary. But I also went past my due date with #3.

No DS1 was breech so I never went into labor with him. They’re insisting I not go past my due date because of gestational diabetes this time even though it’s been well controlled the whole time. I’m basically just a mess. LOL

Is this just because gestational diabetes can cause macrosomia?  Is there any other reason?  I had GD with #1 and it drove me nuts the number of things they would do/not do "because of GD," and no one could give me a good explanation of how my risk with well controlled GD meaningfully differed from someone who didn't have it. 

I keep hoping for you that you'll go on your own, but either way you are almost done!!

[pooh8402]

Aug 12, 2019 19:17:40 GMT -5 psychmom said:

Aug 12, 2019 18:23:57 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

My doctor won’t induce me and won’t let me go past my due date (Thursday). I’m barely 1 cm, very high and very thick. My doctor was able to strip my membrane somehow but said most other doctors wouldn’t consider me even 1 cm. C/S is inevitable I think.

DS1 has been a terror lately. Tonight he threw a toy bottle at my face and I cried. A lot. Is it normal to resent your kid as you get closer to delivering your second?

Add your own.

What about Cervadil? I was barely 1 cm at 41 weeks and my dr gave me Cervadil (a little string they stick inside your cervix) and a few hours later labor started. 

No OBs I work with will do cervidil with a VBAC. Foley bulb and low dose pitocin are it.

[pooh8402]

Aug 13, 2019 9:21:37 GMT -5 Susie said:

Aug 12, 2019 19:38:20 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

No DS1 was breech so I never went into labor with him. They’re insisting I not go past my due date because of gestational diabetes this time even though it’s been well controlled the whole time. I’m basically just a mess. LOL

Is this just because gestational diabetes can cause macrosomia?  Is there any other reason?  I had GD with #1 and it drove me nuts the number of things they would do/not do "because of GD," and no one could give me a good explanation of how my risk with well controlled GD meaningfully differed from someone who didn't have it. 

I keep hoping for you that you'll go on your own, but either way you are almost done!!

Placenta deteriorates faster with GD as well.

[knx9211]

Aug 13, 2019 7:22:50 GMT -5 lovelyshoes said:

shauni27 I hope it gets better and you’re able to get some help. That’s a lot of stress to deal with.

knx9211 I hope your h gets his shit together, moving is hard enough (speaking as someone who’s getting annoyed and resentful at her own h for making the home buying process difficult).
Why is he not fully in board with you leaving work if you handle all the home stuff?

I have no idea. He's constantly terrified of money issues.   It's probably in part my fault because I NEVER involve him in paying bills, etc. He has no idea what's coming in and going out. I baby him way too much. For example, we're looking for a new house. The new build we got quoted is $$$$ but WE CAN AFFORD IT. The mortgage would be only slightly more than what we pay now. We have a lot of help from my parents, we're very lucky with that. But for some reason he's terrified of not having money and thinks that losing my salary is going to be scary. I don't know why, considering the fact that I work around 40% of what I did when I was full time and am not even making 30% of my salary - and no benefits! It's just not a good payoff.

Plus YES. Who does he think gets all of the shit done at home? We got rid of our cleaning person so that saved hundreds a month. I do it all now.  We have no daycare costs.   If we went and paid for both of those, I'd barely be bringing home anything. I'm just frustrated. He gets in his own head and anxious about things that don't actually exist. I just can't do it all. 

This was a word vomit that i'm not sure made sense but after one night of GREAT sleep and another of pretty good sleep, DS WOULD NOT SLEEP last night. I am so fucking tired.

[knx9211]

shauni27, I'm so sorry you're struggling. It's hard enough being a parent to a kid the age of our boys, I wish everything else could give you a break. <3 Thinking of you, friend.

[melsbels]

This is the perfect thread for me right now! Ugh.

Having two 2 year olds is SO HARD. Holy crap the tantrums are real right now. I’m trying to do better and not yell but sometimes I just can’t help it! All of the positive parenting stuff I’m reading about calmly explaining why you don’t like their behaviour etc is great and all, but how am I supposed to do that in the middle of a double tantrum? Or do it effectively with one while the other is also screaming and pulling on me because his brother stole his toy or whatever?!

Twin A had such a big tantrum on the weekend that I ended up in tears and I put him in his crib and walked away. I hate that they get so worked up like that, but it’s hard to help them regulate their feelings at this age. We do talk about things afterward when they’re calm, and they willingly say sorry and give hugs, but I don’t know for sure that it’s getting through, you know?

I go back to work 5 days a week in September and I’m sad that I won’t get as much time with them, but I think I can honestly admit that I’m going to be a much better Mom to them when I get more of a break. But then I feel guilty for feeling that way, and the cycle continues.

[penguingrrl]

Aug 13, 2019 7:45:27 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Thanks everyone! I think part of my frustration stems from how after DS1 was born (breech, c/s) everyone was all "Don't worry---you are an excellent candidate for a VBAC!!" Blah Blah. What they actually meant was "If you go into labor before 50% of women do on their due date and don't need anything we will catch the baby, otherwise we'll make you have a c/s".

I'm coming to terms with it. I mean, hopefully it still happens, but I'm planning on a c/s at this point.

It sounds like you’re not in a VBAC friendly practice. I’m sorry, that sucks so bad! My first was an induction turned section, my other two were induced VBACs. My third looked like it was going to be a repeat c because I wasn’t even a fingertip dilated and had to deliver soon (pregnancy induced hypertension/borderline pre-e). I’m not going to lie, Monday I was told it would likely be a C Friday due to that, at 37w. Wednesday I had a last appointment and was at 4 cm and able to be induced. The only thing I did to try was sex Monday evening.

[knx9211]

Aug 13, 2019 10:45:42 GMT -5 melsbels said:

This is the perfect thread for me right now! Ugh.

Having two 2 year olds is SO HARD. Holy crap the tantrums are real right now. I’m trying to do better and not yell but sometimes I just can’t help it! All of the positive parenting stuff I’m reading about calmly explaining why you don’t like their behaviour etc is great and all, but how am I supposed to do that in the middle of a double tantrum? Or do it effectively with one while the other is also screaming and pulling on me because his brother stole his toy or whatever?!

Twin A had such a big tantrum on the weekend that I ended up in tears and I put him in his crib and walked away. I hate that they get so worked up like that, but it’s hard to help them regulate their feelings at this age. We do talk about things afterward when they’re calm, and they willingly say sorry and give hugs, but I don’t know for sure that it’s getting through, you know?

I go back to work 5 days a week in September and I’m sad that I won’t get as much time with them, but I think I can honestly admit that I’m going to be a much better Mom to them when I get more of a break. But then I feel guilty for feeling that way, and the cycle continues.

HOLY SHIT YES. I try so hard. "P, I can't understand you when you're crying. Please tell me how I can help you calm down. It's ok to be upset, but Mommy can't help you unless you tell her why you're mad.  What do you need?" only lasts for so long before I yell 'PATRICK I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT PLEASE STOP SCREAMING' and then I feel terrible for yelling.  He doesn't know wtf time out is so I can't do that as  a "threat." I used to do "You seem tired, if we don't calm down, we're going to have to go to bed.." but sleeping has been SUCH a struggle lately that I DO NOT want bed to be a form of punishment. I am just going out of my mind.

[knx9211]

noodleoo, I'm so sorry your vacation didn't go well. My cousin is currently on vacation with her 3 year old and 10 month old and is coming back today. Told me how it was such a "nice, relaxing vacation." I am so jealous. Ours was SO HARD and we only have one kid! he is so much to handle right now.

[mccallister84]

DD2 is 14 months and has zero words. She points and communicates through grunting and “uh” sounds. I hate feeling so stuck on her language. I’ve been worried about it since her 9 month well visit but I also know she isn’t delayed enough for early intervention to kick in yet so I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels.

And I thought last summer was challenging with a two under two. It was a breeze compared to a non walking 1 year old and a 2.5 year old going through an early threenager phase.

[hamster]

Aug 13, 2019 11:04:58 GMT -5 mccallister84 said:

DD2 is 14 months and has zero words. She points and communicates through grunting and “uh” sounds. I hate feeling so stuck on her language. I’ve been worried about it since her 9 month well visit but I also know she isn’t delayed enough for early intervention to kick in yet so I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels.

And I thought last summer was challenging with a two under two. It was a breeze compared to a non walking 1 year old and a 2.5 year old going through an early threenager phase.

C is just now getting words at 21m so there are still a lot of grunts. Some days I just can't handle it!

[mccallister84]

Aug 13, 2019 11:19:21 GMT -5 hamster said:

Aug 13, 2019 11:04:58 GMT -5 mccallister84 said:

DD2 is 14 months and has zero words. She points and communicates through grunting and “uh” sounds. I hate feeling so stuck on her language. I’ve been worried about it since her 9 month well visit but I also know she isn’t delayed enough for early intervention to kick in yet so I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels.

And I thought last summer was challenging with a two under two. It was a breeze compared to a non walking 1 year old and a 2.5 year old going through an early threenager phase.

C is just now getting words at 21m so there are still a lot of grunts. Some days I just can't handle it!

Yea DD1 was EXTREMELY verbal so this is a completely different experience for us.

[Blue Moon]

Aug 12, 2019 21:27:28 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

We are currently on a beach vacation with our 2 year old and 4 year old. It’s better than last year in some ways, and harder in others. I totally get you! I packed up literally everything except for my H’s clothes and then he’s all pissy because I packed X but not Y for the kids. We had to separate the kids because my 2 year old woke up the entire house at 4am yesterday since he’s not used to sharing a room. So now the 2 year old prince has the room with bunk beds to himself, my daughter and I are sharing a double bed, and my H is on the couch. Tomorrow is our 10 year anniversary, and we initially planned to go to a nicer restaurant to celebrate, but the kids are so exhausted and overstimulated we’ll be having pizza on the boardwalk for the third night instead.

[countthestars]

My kids were up super late last night, but really behaving nicely so I didn't push it. OMG am I paying for it today. Because of a series of unfortunate events, my original sitter has basically called out every time she was supposed to be here except for one for the past 3 weeks*. Luckily my back up is flexible and can come when I need her for the most part, but she's younger and so I've been dealing with DS's major meltdown while she entertains DD.

*After posting about my sitter who had to leave early on a Tuesday and then didn't come on Thursday at my blessing, she was scheduled for 5 more days of sitting. She came one, called out sick one, and her husband has been in the hospital for the other three, and I'm getting last minute call-outs so that has been REALLY FUN this summer.

[mx27]

Aug 12, 2019 21:27:28 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

We went on our first trip as a family of four this weekend and it sucked. Other than a few fun moments, it has been exhausting and miserable. I’m so depressed. I had been looking forward to our vacation all summer. Now I feel like I will never have a fun vacation ever again, or at least for like 18 years. And I’m so tired of being the one who has to plan and prioritize the girls first. It’s been noticeable to me that H has the luxury of doing what he wants and the working the kids around it. It’s not fair and if I try to say anything it just turns into an argument about who does what. And then he also gets annoyed at me because I never want to do anything (like more vacations, day trips, weekends away etc) Yeah, that’s because it’s way more work for me than for you!

this weekend, we took our first "vacation" as a family.  I put vacation in quotes because it was just a one night stay, two hours from home.  my kids are 1 and 3, so that is all we are up for at this point.  we had a nice time, but one day felt like three, lol!  i don't understand (or care to find out) how families vacation with small children.  my kids need naps and have meltdowns (every now and again) and are still highly dependent on us.  where is the fun in any of that?!  no, thanks!

and yes, i am the planner and organizer.  i don't have it in me to navigate an entire trip for 2 needy people and a husband right now.  it's too much!

[icedcoffee]

Aug 13, 2019 9:21:37 GMT -5 Susie said:

Aug 12, 2019 19:38:20 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

No DS1 was breech so I never went into labor with him. They’re insisting I not go past my due date because of gestational diabetes this time even though it’s been well controlled the whole time. I’m basically just a mess. LOL

Is this just because gestational diabetes can cause macrosomia?  Is there any other reason?  I had GD with #1 and it drove me nuts the number of things they would do/not do "because of GD," and no one could give me a good explanation of how my risk with well controlled GD meaningfully differed from someone who didn't have it. 

I keep hoping for you that you'll go on your own, but either way you are almost done!!

Yeah--I guess large size and also placenta deteriorates faster.  Basically every time I've asked there a 1% increase in some kind of risk (that's probably offset by the 1% increase in risk via c/s lol).  The u/s tech said my baby "doesn't look like a GD baby".  So poo on all of them.  Apparently, they generally have big bellies and this baby does not.  He's actually looking pretty petite.

Anyway---GD is stupid and I'm over it.

We'll see what happens.  I am starting to lose my mucous plug I think...but they also stripped my membranes yesterday so it might just be that.

My body is probably planning on going into labor a few hours after my scheduled c/s.

[Deleted]

I have made a lot of progress in therapy, but I am still just really in a shitty place as far as being OK with a future C-section. I really really want to have another baby, and I still just really really do not want another C-section. Everybody is always like, "Scheduled C-sections are so much easier!" Well, yeah, people can fuck right off because I have a history of not recovering well from surgery and I don't think it's unreasonable to not want my abdomen cut open.

I also just read about a woman who was diagnosed with pre-e during her pregnancy due to protein in her urine. It didn't resolve after birth, and a kidney specialist told her to lose weight. She got a second opinion, and oh yeah, she had fucking CANCER. So this is not helping my anxiety that medical professionals provide subpar care to fat people. I am told that I am not a good candidate for VBAC in part due to being fat, but nobody seems to know why fat women are more likely to have C-sections. Why would I have a better chance of successful VBAC if I lost a lot of weight? I'm convinced it's because doctors don't believe we can have vaginal deliveries.

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Aug 13, 2019 12:19:58 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Aug 13, 2019 9:21:37 GMT -5 Susie said:

Is this just because gestational diabetes can cause macrosomia?  Is there any other reason?  I had GD with #1 and it drove me nuts the number of things they would do/not do "because of GD," and no one could give me a good explanation of how my risk with well controlled GD meaningfully differed from someone who didn't have it. 

I keep hoping for you that you'll go on your own, but either way you are almost done!!

Yeah--I guess large size and also placenta deteriorates faster.  Basically every time I've asked there a 1% increase in some kind of risk (that's probably offset by the 1% increase in risk via c/s lol).  The u/s tech said my baby "doesn't look like a GD baby".  So poo on all of them.  Apparently, they generally have big bellies and this baby does not.  He's actually looking pretty petite.

Anyway---GD is stupid and I'm over it.

We'll see what happens.  I am starting to lose my mucous plug I think...but they also stripped my membranes yesterday so it might just be that.

My body is probably planning on going into labor a few hours after my scheduled c/s.

I'm convinced nobody actually knows jack shit about this stuff. Yes, I know we're talking an n of 2 and anecdotes aren't data. But my friend had GD with both of her babies, but both wound up being under 7 pounds. I had very mild gestational hypertension and was told the risk was IUGR. I went on to have a nearly 9-pound baby and was diagnosed with cephalopelvic disproportion.