3 year old still not night trained

[mrsGreeko]

It’s physiological so there’s really nothing you can do to speed it up. Some kids go all night at 2 and others not until 8 (still totally normal) and most kids in between there.

[kdubs923]

Aug 22, 2019 10:37:18 GMT -5 mrsGreeko said:

It’s physiological so there’s really nothing you can do to speed it up. Some kids go all night at 2 and others not until 8 (still totally normal) and most kids in between there.

I just put nearly exactly this in the other thread.

My 2 year old kept dry overnight all on her own.

My nearly 6 year old floods his pull up each night. The pediatrician isn't concerned. He's a heavy sleeper and just doesn't wake to the feeling of a full bladder.

::: shrug :::

[penguingrrl]

There’s definitely to way to speed it up. It’s a physiological milestone. My niece was 8 or 9 before it happened for her.

[UMaineTeach]

Nope, have to wait it out. You can try things to make it feel like you are doing something, but until she grows or sleeps more lightly it won’t due much good.

[redheadbaker]

My 7.5-year-old *just* (as in, this past week started regularly staying dry at night). We talked to our pedi about it, because it was starting to bother DS, and she said it's normal for kids to not stay dry until around age 9.

[pooh8402]

I also think it is biological/physiological. E1 has been day trained since he was 25 months. But only in the last 3-4 months he has been night trained, and he still sometimes wets the bed if we're not careful to make him pee before bed. He's 4y1m now.

My sister wasn't able to stay dry at night until she was like 7.

[Deleted]

You just have to wait. My DD mostly night trained around 3 by herself, she still had about an accident a month until she was 6. My son just turned 4 and now occasionally wakes up dry but not often enough to stop the pull ups. It’s “normal” until age 8.

[Patsy Baloney]

So, I am of 2 minds about this -

I know kids have to grow and be able to hold it, wake up, etc. and that can sometimes come at a later age. We kept DD in pull-ups overnight because of this. We just weren't going to make a huge deal out of it and possibly make her feel bad/embarrassed about not being able to stay dry overnight.

HOWEVER - DD is now 6. Just started 1st grade. She accidentally slept without a pull-up one night (I saw her forget to put one on after her last bathroom stop before hopping into bed and just let it be, because I was curious if she could do it) and she was dry the next morning. We took it as a sign and stopped with the pull-ups. She wet her bed twice in quick succession, and was FREAKING OUT about not being able to wear pull-ups to bed, so much so that she was sneaking them out of her closet at night.

We had a come-to-jesus talk: why are you freaking out about pull-ups and wetting the bed? Accidents happen, and we know you're a big girl who can stay dry, because you did already, and can get up to go to the bathroom.

Well, turns out that my darling 6YO just doesn't want to get out of bed at night. She wakes up, acknowledges that she has to pee and would prefer to let 'er rip in bed in a pull-up than get up. So now, because she stayed in a pull-up for too long, we're working on breaking the habit of peeing in bed, not waiting for her body to be ready to stay dry overnight.

So there's a big, I DUNNO, MAN, FREAKIN' KIDS post for you.

One thing that does put my kid at ease over no pull-up is having us get her up one last time to pee before we go to bed. She always pees quite a bit and goes right back to sleep, but I do make sure every night to ask her if she wants us to wake her up, or if she wants to wake herself up if she needs to, and let her decide.

[Susie]

You probably saw my post in the other thread, but my kid is the exact same.  Except we've been at it even longer...

7/2018 - daytime PT'ed around 2y7m
11/2018 - moved from crib to big girl bed at 3y
..
...
....
present - now 3y9m, and still wears pull ups for nap and overnight.  She gets up to use the potty most nights at some point, but only if she was already awake when she decided she needed to go.  Her pull ups are still really full in the morning when we throw them out, so we are not at all close.  Nap time (especially at school) she is hit/miss on needing a pull up, but we insist that they do it anyway because I was getting tired of the accidents (and the quick turnaround laundry on weeknights) on days she'd happen to take a good nap.

It's annoying, and I really look forward to her phasing out of this.  But from what I understand, there's not much to do about it besides keep buying the pull ups, just less frequently than when she wore them 24/7.

[noodleoo]

Night training took longer for DD1 too. She was day/nap trained around 2 yr 9 mo. But she was still filling an overnight diaper until pretty recently. We didn't even try night training until she woke up dry a few times, which was around 3.5 I think? Then we tried underwear and waking her up to pee when we went to bed, which worked for a few weeks and then she randomly started wetting the bed again. We just had DD2, so we went back to pull ups for a few nights (it just wasn't worth it on top of dealing with a newborn). A little after 4 she started waking up dry again so we went back to undies. H was taking her to pee at night up until about 2 weeks ago. So far so good!

So I guess my advice is to be flexible and let your child lead it. I wouldn't force it and honestly you could try like we did but if it doesn't work, there is no shame in quitting and going back to pull ups for a bit longer. H and I kind of agreed we wouldn't even try until she had woken up dry for at least a week. I really hated when she was wetting the bed, she would be so upset about it. It wasn't worth the stress on her and I didn't want to create bad associations or anxiety around sleeping.

[CloudBee]

I mean, isn't the rule somewhere around age 7-10 before doctors even care?

There's nothing you can do other than avoiding a full glass of water at bedtime.

Don't stress about it, or even let your kid know that you think it's a problem. Because it's not. It's normal, and way, way more kids than you would expect wet the bed late in childhood. My nephew was in pull-ups overnight until at least age 8.

[scribellesam]

More anecdotes: my older DS didn’t night train until 6, and my almost 5yo is still in pull ups at night. I much prefer to buy pull ups than to change sheets every day so *shrugs* I didn’t move DS1 to underwear until he’d stayed dry at night for several weeks in a row.

[quesyrah]

Aug 22, 2019 11:10:03 GMT -5 CloudBee said:

I mean, isn't the rule somewhere around age 7-10 before doctors even care?

There's nothing you can do other than avoiding a full glass of water at bedtime.

Don't stress about it, or even let your kid know that you think it's a problem. Because it's not. It's normal, and way, way more kids than you would expect wet the bed late in childhood. My nephew was in pull-ups overnight until at least age 8.

Yes. My 9 year old still doesn’t stay dry at night. I’ve had two different pediatricians tell me that they won’t consider looking for a medical reason until 10. He is starting to have a few dry nights here and there.

It’s also starting to embarrass him so we’ll be talking to the pedi soon about not needing to wait until 10 (he’ll be 10 in Jan).

[starburst604]

Everything I hear about this is that it's physiological. My friend's almost 10 year old wears pull-ups and seems to have some sort of growth delay that they're investigating now, because she's so tiny for her age. So they think it's a result of that.

We never tried night training DD, just put her in pull ups at night once she was day trained at 2y9m. SHe was about 50/50 on waking up dry. About 6 months later she decided the pull up felt uncomfortable and didn't want to wear it. I told her ok, as long as she always peed before bed and she's been dry at night ever since. I suspect she had the capability sooner and was just "letting go" because she had the pull up on.

[hocus2]

I wouldn't rush it so young. Yes some kids can be gently nudged along because the issue is that they don't want to get out of bed but 3 is still pretty young to make even gently nudges. I feel like a fair number of kids wear an overnight diaper until 5 or 6 depending on how heavy they sleep and how large their bladders are.

[ktw]

Everything I have read/seen says this is biological/physiological and there's really not much you can do to speed up the process. Anecdotally, my DD (now 6) never required any night training. We potty trained her at 2y10m, which was very easy because she was very ready. She wore pull ups for bed and nap until they were dry, and then we stopped putting her in them. I don't believe she has ever had an accident in the night. And I am pretty sure I know why - both of my kids, like my H and I, are super light sleepers. I don't think sleeping through peeing is even possible for her, and I'm not even sure it's possible for my 2yo. There are definite trade offs - I would love for my kids (and myself!) to be better sleepers. 

[mskitkat]

I have friends telling me I should be waking my 3 year old up twice a night to go potty. No. Just no. I refuse.

[ktw]

Aug 22, 2019 11:43:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

I have friends telling me I should be waking my 3 year old up twice a night to go potty. No. Just no. I refuse.

Hard pass on that! I would definitely not disturb my kid's sleep unless he was much older and the doctor had a serious concern. I have a friend whose daughter is 2y1m, and she posted on Instagram yesterday that they are done with diapers for both night and day. All I could think is that there's no way in hell I'm giving my toddler the power to wake me up every night claiming he has to go to the bathroom. He'll be in diapers at night at least until he's out of his crib and can (at least attempt to) take himself to the bathroom.

[kangaroo11]

My 6.5 year old DD is just a heavy sleeper and drinks a lot of water. I can’t see preventing her from drinking water before bed when pull ups are an easy solution. Her pedi said we can discuss it if she’s still not night trained at 9.

[Blue Moon]

My DD day trained at 25 months without issue. She wore a pull-up at nap time until around 3.5 or so. She wore a pull up at nighttime until she was 4.5 when suddenly she went from saturating it to waking up dry. She does wake up at night to pee occasionally and can manage in the bathroom on her own. We do leave the bathroom light on for her.

[joy]

Aug 22, 2019 11:43:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

I have friends telling me I should be waking my 3 year old up twice a night to go potty. No. Just no. I refuse.

Looooool. Hardest of passes.

My kid turns three next week. She’s not even day trained yet. lolsob.

[raangoli]

Aug 22, 2019 11:43:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

I have friends telling me I should be waking my 3 year old up twice a night to go potty. No. Just no. I refuse.

lol 😂

Nope. We both need sleep more than she needs to be night trained at 3y7m

[achi]

My son is 4 and still not fully night trained. Some days he's dry, other days he's not. It's a total crapshoot. The days I'd expect him to be wet (ie had lots to drink with dinner, and asked before his bath) he's totally dry and then has the biggest pee in the world when I get him on the toilet. I'm not at all worried about it.

We used cloth diapers with him as well as cloth learning pants (ie pull-ups). Eventually he began to outpee his diapers not matter how many or what combo of inserts I put in them so we switched to disposables at night and even then had to use two. We recently bought Super Undies hero night time training pants. They look like underwear but have a crap ton of absorbancy. I won't lie, they're pricey and definitely an upfront investment but we've had better luck with staying dry since we switched to those. Plus you can wash them and then reuse for another child, or sell them to recoup some of the cost. For DS I suspect it has something to do with the psychology that he's "wearing underwear" and not a diaper. Food for thought.

[steamboat185]

We are mostly done with pull-ups at nap for our new 3 year old, but I expect her to be in diapers/pull-ups overnight for at least another year. I think my oldest was in them until just before kindergarten started.

[VillainV]

My son is 5 and still wears Goodnites. I’m not concerned.

[docholly]

My oldest woke up dry consistently at three. My middle child is 6 and still in Goodnites. My doc said it was very normal for kids, boys in particular. My H was about seven when he stopped wetting the bed at night. I believe there is a hormone that lessens urine output at night and some kids don’t release that until later. It also has to do with the brain/bladder connection etc which you can’t “train” when a person is sleeping.

My H was woken up a lot of “help” his night wetting, and he blames it for his sleep problems as an adult.

I make my middle child go to the bathroom before bed and that is about it.

[abs]

DD didn’t start staying dry at night until she was 7 and it wasn’t 100% until 7.5. Then it was like a light switched and she hasn’t had an accident in over a year. Her pedi was never concerned and also said it’s normal until age 12! I was not interested in restricting fluids, waking her at night, or trying an alarm so we just rode it out.

It will happen when your kid is ready.

[achi]

Aug 22, 2019 12:49:31 GMT -5 docholly said:

My oldest woke up dry consistently at three. My middle child is 6 and still in Goodnites. My doc said it was very normal for kids, boys in particular. My H was about seven when he stopped wetting the bed at night. I believe there is a hormone that lessens urine output at night and some kids don’t release that until later. It also has to do with the brain/bladder connection etc which you can’t “train” when a person is sleeping.

My H was woken up a lot of “help” his night wetting, and he blames it for his sleep problems as an adult.

I make my middle child go to the bathroom before bed and that is about it.

My H was too and he is a shit sleeper as an adult. He never sleeps through the night entirely unless he is 100% exhausted or super sick. 

[felicity]

I think this is one of those things where you have to know your kid. Some kids will want to wear the diaper because it's easier than getting up, and other kids really just can't hold it. I think at 3 it might be hard to know which one, and you still might have a lot of accidents, so personally I'd wait. I also wouldn't wake in the middle of the night to make a kid go to the bathroom. No judgement for anyone who does it, but it just seems like it would interrupt their sleep cycles too much and not allow for the best night of sleep.

[atexan]

Another what not to do:

DS1 day trained at 2.5 but he is a heavy sleeper and always filled an overnight diaper at that age. At some point, between 3 and 4, he learned to dress himself fully so we just taught him to take the pull-up off and throw it in the trash in the morning.

At some point last summer (when he was 5) I took out the trash for once (it is usually DH's job) and I noticed the pull up on top was dry. I dug down and there were several clean dry pull ups in there. So I asked DS, are your pull ups always dry and clean when you take them off? Him: yeah Me: how long has this been going on? Him: shrug i dunno.

He went in underwear that night and hasn't had an accident once in the past year. I don't want to think about how much money I wasted on those things.