In Kinder and 1st I was very close to both of DD's main teachers as I volunteered a lot and by the end of the year they always signed their emails to me with their first name only. I still couldn't do it. Now that my child isn't in their class I am FB friends with both and use their first names if I see them by their request. When DD was in their class though it just didn't feel right.
At meet the teacher this year DD's 3rd grade teacher introduced herself to me by her first name only. I am guessing that is how she wants to be addressed but it's just weird. I can't.
I find it hard to use first names too. I revert to my 10 year old self and feel like I should use their last name.
But I honestly try to follow the lead of the teacher. MOST of DSs teachers have introduced themselves to me with their first name and signed emails using their first name.
To DS/ in front of DS, I use Ms/Mr Last name, but when its adult to adult, I try to use their first name.
First names, but we call everyone by first names. I'm a teacher at the school where my kids go and everyone goes by only first names (including the head of school) so anything else would be weird. I'm pretty sure most of my students don't even know my last name.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
The principal of my kids' school and I have the same name, but pronounced differently which causes all sorts of confusion at the rectory office when I have to call about volunteer things. So she and I are on a first name basis now. My kids have nuns as teachers this year so I call them all "Sister."
Post by liverandonions on Sept 11, 2019 8:10:03 GMT -5
I call elementary teachers Ms. Lastname, and I call daycare teachers Ms. Firstname. But I usually refer to all teachers and adults around my kids Ms. or Mr. Firstname because I think it's respectful for my kids to refer to them that way.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Sept 11, 2019 8:14:29 GMT -5
In person or at home I refer to her by Mrs.LastName. For emails I start out with Mrs.LastName then continue going forward with however they are signed. (So far it has been Mrs.LastName for K & 2nd, first name for 1st)
Post by onomatopoeia on Sept 11, 2019 8:44:11 GMT -5
For DS2's teachers I call them by Ms/Mr last name. I live in a small town so it's strange when I see them socially, but even at the bar or a pool party I have a hard time saying "Joan" instead of "Ms. Smith".
DS1's teachers go by their first name at his school (private), which is weird to me and I have to admit I'm not a fan.
Is this regional? Am I rude? I totally call them by their first names, unless it's in front of my kids. It doesn't feel weird to me at all. I mean, we're all adults, and they aren't MY teachers!
Post by cabbagecabbage on Sept 11, 2019 11:38:12 GMT -5
Always Ms. Lastname. Last night was curriculum night. DD's teacher shook my hand. I said, "I'm Cabbage, DD's mom." She introduced herself to me by her first name which surprised me. I've never had a teacher refer to herself by a given name.
I'll still call her Ms. Lastname. I think of it like a doctor. Some people just get called by their formal name as a sign of respect or whatever. I'd only use a first name if she said, "Please call me Kim."
It's interchangeable for me. I am in the school volunteering 6-10 hrs per week. If the kids are around I notice that I naturally refer to teacher as "Mr./Mrs.", etc. I have a very soft voice, so sometimes if we're in front of the children and a teacher isn't responding to MY voice because it blends in with the children... I will say the teacher's first name.
If children generally aren't around, I seem to naturally call them by their first names. Which is what they tend to to with me, too. First name alone, in the hall, etc., and formal name in front of students.
I work with the principal a lot and he turns around instantly when I use his first name. So with him I use his first almost exclusively.
I don't think either way is disrespectful, as long as you are using the appropriate reference when speaking WITH your child about their teacher.
ETA: Some of the teacher's at DS's school actually prefer to go by "Miss FirstName" or "Mr. FirstName" or "Mr. FirstLetterOfFirstName". So even for him it's not the same across the board.
Post by definitelyO on Sept 11, 2019 11:45:15 GMT -5
it depends - if they introduce themselves to me as Katie or Mr. Upton, then I go with that... up until middle school we had met all of DS's teachers and I'd volunteer now and again at the school.
Post by closertofine on Sept 11, 2019 12:45:48 GMT -5
I use Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/Dr. I absolutely hate when parents address me by my first name without my invitation. I sign my emails Ms. Closertofine, that's what they should use.
I teach elementary, and every parent except our school secretary has called me Mrs. LastName. And now that I think of it, when the secretary was talking to me about child related thing, it was still Mrs. she called me by my first name for school related stuff that didn’t have anything to do with her children.
I always told parents who called me Mrs. in conferences that my first name was fine, and I don’t recall anyone ever actually switching.
I use Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/Dr. I absolutely hate when parents address me by my first name without my invitation. I sign my emails Ms. Closertofine, that's what they should use.
But I think I am in the minority on this.
Yeah, this is odd. I would never call a peer ‘Mrs.’ anything while addressing her directly, but I wouldn’t refer to her by her first name to my daughter or in front of other kids.
I call my kid’s teacher by her first name, she’s like 20 years younger than me lol. Last year, her teacher was like 60+, and I couldn’t bring myself to use her first name lol.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Sept 11, 2019 14:00:59 GMT -5
I always called them by their title but also always felt a need to explain to them it was not that I was a stuffed shirt I just knew if I called them by their first name the kids would eventually, too. I always asked them to call me by my first name during that same conversation.
I call the principal Meg and the VP Anne, because we have a relationship due to me being the VP of the school’s foundation. I would call some teachers by first name that I know well. I never use first name in front of my kids for any.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Sept 11, 2019 14:43:17 GMT -5
last year dd's teacher and i were on a first name basis w/ each other
i'm on a first name basis w/ her teacher informally bc we served on school site council together for 2 years. in a formal setting w/ students present, i address her as Mrs. G.
Post by notsopicky on Sept 11, 2019 15:08:01 GMT -5
I'm surprised that so many of you teachers in this thread sign official school communication with your first name. I NEVER see that, on communication from school to home. It's always Ms/Mr. (or Mx.) + Last Name.
It would be hella weird to get an email from E's teacher signed, "Sally" (that's not her name, but you get the idea). It's Mrs. Cooper (also not her real name, lol). I use Ms. (I don't like Mrs. at all--my married status doesn't define me.)
ETA: I work in a school. It is always Mr./Ms./Mx. Last Name in front of students. Always.
I have a signature that applies to every email I send so they all go out with “first name last name” and titles because I’m also emailing colleagues too. Maybe I’m sensitive to it because I started out as a very young teacher but often parents who address me by my first name are pushing boundaries in other ways too and are using my name as another boundary to push. Among the other staff on site we mainly use last names. Like pp, that’s how I answer the phone, how the admin team addresses me, etc.
Ditto all of this. I expect parents to call me Ms last name unless we actually know each other outside of school. That is my professional title, and we aren’t friends.
I have a signature that applies to every email I send so they all go out with “first name last name” and titles because I’m also emailing colleagues too. Maybe I’m sensitive to it because I started out as a very young teacher but often parents who address me by my first name are pushing boundaries in other ways too and are using my name as another boundary to push. Among the other staff on site we mainly use last names. Like pp, that’s how I answer the phone, how the admin team addresses me, etc.
Ditto all of this. I expect parents to call me Ms last name unless we actually know each other outside of school. That is my professional title, and we aren’t friends.
I totally agree, and they should do this regardless of your relative ages!
I use Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/Dr. I absolutely hate when parents address me by my first name without my invitation. I sign my emails Ms. Closertofine, that's what they should use.
But I think I am in the minority on this.
Yeah, this is odd. I would never call a peer ‘Mrs.’ anything while addressing her directly, but I wouldn’t refer to her by her first name to my daughter or in front of other kids.
I call my kid’s teacher by her first name, she’s like 20 years younger than me lol. Last year, her teacher was like 60+, and I couldn’t bring myself to use her first name lol.
Why is it odd to have a preference for parents to address them in their capacity as a teacher?
Personally, I don’t see my child’s teacher as *my* peer (unless i also worked there OR knew them outside of a school setting). They have a position of authority, and unless they tell me directly “call me Shannon”, I’m not going to address them like a friend.
Just for curiosity’s sake, if you saw your doctor (who is younger than you) in the grocery store would you say “Hi Sheila!” Or “Hi Dr. Taylor”.
I feel really old school reading some of these replies, lol. 👵
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Post by jellymankelly on Sept 11, 2019 15:34:22 GMT -5
My kids’ teachers are all my husband’s coworkers, and one is a dear friend of mine since elementary school. Socially, and between adults, I refer to them by their first name, or just their last name, since that’s the way they all refer to each other at the school. In emails, or talking to other parents, I always use Mr/Ms Lastname. One is practically young enough to be my daughter, and my husband taught her in 8th grade, but I feel like it diminishes her authority as an educator if I refer to her by her first name.
Oooooh. I am having a reaction to these teachers coming in here like “use my professional title: we aren’t friends.” I will say it and I don’t care if it’s flammable, you sound self-important, smug, and uptight. It’s not about being friends, it’s about being peers, and you better believe that you are your students’ parents’ peers. Get over yourself.
I have the complete opposite reaction and think that because it's a woman dominated field, people think it's ok to call teachers by their names and would never ever question a man who wanted to be called by a title.
Oooooh. I am having a reaction to these teachers coming in here like “use my professional title: we aren’t friends.” I will say it and I don’t care if it’s flammable, you sound self-important, smug, and uptight. It’s not about being friends, it’s about being peers, and you better believe that you are your students’ parents’ peers. Get over yourself.
I’m having a reaction to your reaction, get over YOURself. Lol.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Why is it odd to have a preference for parents to address them in their capacity as a teacher?
Personally, I don’t see my child’s teacher as *my* peer (unless i also worked there OR knew them outside of a school setting). They have a position of authority, and unless they tell me directly “call me Shannon”, I’m not going to address them like a friend.
Just for curiosity’s sake, if you saw your doctor (who is younger than you) in the grocery store would you say “Hi Sheila!” Or “Hi Dr. Taylor”.
I feel really old school reading some of these replies, lol. 👵
Well, in front of the kids, sure, but why would you have to call them Ms/Mrs Last Name if you run into them socially, or even at school when there’s no kids around?
Bc that’s how I know them, as Mrs. Smith. Do you feel the same for a doctor? If there are no patients around? (Trying to think of another job where titles are used during work and I’m blanking) I would figure if they want me using their first name they’ll say “oh hey, you can call me Susan!” But nobody ever has.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I have the complete opposite reaction and think that because it's a woman dominated field, people think it's ok to call teachers by their names and would never ever question a man who wanted to be called by a title.
I call the doctors I work with by their first names, unless we’re in with a patient. This goes for males and females, also after working together for some time. It’s not like being a teacher comes with a formal title either, it’s just respect from the kids.
Well working with them is different than if you saw them only in a patient capacity. I would likely call teachers by first names if I worked with them.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham