Post by librarychica on Sept 16, 2019 20:54:32 GMT -5
Mondays I have after work exercise plans. It is the only day I don’t come straight home. So I walk in tonight 1.5 hours later than usual to complete chaos. Behavioral issues, mess issues. All the issues.
After attempting to talk everyone through it for like 20 minutes, I lose my shit a bit. I haven’t yelled in weeks and weeks. I was so proud. This was the full-on screaming, including following the oldest to her room so I could lecture (by now I wasn’t yelling just lecturing loudly) “and another thing....” I sounded like my mom.
Well eventually everyone calms down and DD1 and I talk. Turns out she’s spiraling because she failed a math quiz. (This is her first year of letter grades). She was crying that the more she tries to make her letters write and erases and tries again and then she gets nothing but Cs and Fs. Now by this point I’m concerned but I reassure her that we are proud of her and that letters are not the point of school, etc. H comes in, she can always talk to him, etc and and so on. Bath, some mellowing reading, a little kid dose of melatonin because JFC, bed. We will do her homework tomorrow morning.
With trepidation I go into her online gradebook, a new thing as of this week. All the grades so far are in there. She’s gotten 100% of every math assignment (except today’s evidently) and a B average in language arts. Holy moly, kid! Cut yourself some slack!
Post by mommyatty on Sept 16, 2019 22:32:15 GMT -5
librarychica, DD had a meltdown the other day because she got a B on a math worksheet. She didn’t understand what she was supposed to do on one section (which had no instructions and the teacher didn’t explain, she says), but we had crying and yelling and throwing the paper on the floor. Also she’s decided subtracting one two digit number from another is too hard, so she’s trying to count using a number grid. I told her to stop being a nut and do it right.
Post by erinshelley21 on Sept 17, 2019 9:15:38 GMT -5
No real vents for yesterday or today, but the last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind. Tuesday after labor day, I got food poisoning from a work lunch. It was violent and knocked me out for all of Wednesday (the day we closed on our old house, thankfully I didn't have to be there) and I was at like 75% Thursday. We moved into MIL's on that Saturday. I was already behind on packing from being sick and DH's friend showed up 2 hours early and could only help for about 5 hours. This friend is one we've helped move 3 times and his parents once and we've loaned money to that hasn't been paid back. DH and I spent every spare minute at the old house finishing up and were able to hand the keys over to the new owners on Saturday at 6pm. Last week happened to be the biggest of my professional life as I scored a huge client (2x the size of the biggest I had) and that took up 2 days.
Its nice being down to remodeling and maintaining one house even if we are living with MIL.
Tuesday vents.. Today was a shit show. DS refused to get dressed and cried for almost 25 minutes about not wanting to go to school. We left him to it and got DD ready, which turned into an argument over her hair and why I'm such a bad mom and never let her do what she wants to do. Which turned into me wondering WHY I suck so much at this parenting thing. Which led to me telling her and DH the problem is that we're not strict enough, that we've taken "pick your battles" to the extreme and that we always let the kids get their way, which is why we're struggling everywhere else. I explained to her that I do a TON of stuff for her that I'd rather not do, like make lunches, shuttle her to friends houses, pay for ice skating, extra classes, etc, and I can take that all away. DD turned her behavior around right away, let me do her hair, and then told me that she loves me even if I don't love her. Thanks kid. Had a discussion about that. Got to follow that up with DH and I literally holding DS down so we could get him dressed, getting kicked in the face, and finally got out the door. I basically just want to go home and go back to bed.
And it doesn't help that allergies still have me down, so even though I made it out the door without crying, I feel like I've been crying.
I'm at a labor and employment law CLE today (and yesterday). my H is off for the next 3 days so he's doing a ton of home projects.
re: homework - DD1 came home with a new way of homework for 1st grade - it's essentially a bingo card with an activity in each square. we do as much (or as little) as we want for the next 2 weeks. (it also includes some physical activity like jumping jacks in addition to standard things like writing words or numbers).
k3am, we had sort of a similar morning, and I am more strict, so it might just a shit show kind of day. DD apparently said something annoying to DS and he slapped her (lightly on the arm). I yelled at him pretty badly because I have told him 8 million times to keep his hands to himself. I also told him that if I slapped someone every time they annoy me it would be child abuse (and spousal abuse and employee abuse etc.). So he told me he would keep his hands to himself after that. We'll see how long that lasts.
DD has too much going on, is staying up too late and for some unfathomable reason has set her alarm for 6:30 am rather than her typical 7 am. I think it was a competition with her brother to get up early and watch TV? So we fought over hair, and I sent her back to bed, and at least gave her cuddles as she rested a bit more. And I changed her alarm clock back and threatened an earlier bedtime.
waverly, the amusing thing is people think that we're strict.
But we let them win the following battles on a regular basis... hair, food, clothes. Bodily autonomy is a big thing. But at the same point, I'm sick of DD getting food in her hair, of them looking like ragamuffins, and definitely of eating mac n cheese, pizza, and nuggets. I feel like every few weeks I reach a breaking point (especially on the food issue) and I just kind of fall apart.
I think this is the last year we can get away with it, but we don't have clocks in our house. As the sun starts to set earlier and earlier, I've been pushing bedtime earlier and earlier. Kids have been in bed by 7:15-7:30 most nights and sleeping in until normal time.
k3am, I would love to have bodily autonomy on her hair, but it is a rat's nest, and if I let it go it's a worse rat's nest and the only alternative is to cut it to like ear length which she doesn't want because I can't even get a comb through it. So hair battles persist by necessity, but I do let her watch stuff on my phone. I wish I had magical kid hair that didn't tangle.
I gave up on forcing her to eat breakfast, but she eats well and a variety the other meals.
k3am I did this when DD was younger. I also would spring forward or fall back on Friday night instead of Saturday night so we could start adjusting to it. I loved spring forward because it was so easy to go its 7 time for bed as I just changed the clocks. I don't think I could live without clocks on the wall. Pst I set them 5-10 minutes fast to help us get out the door earlier.
DD had a Monday yesterday. One of the kids in her class spilt her breakfast and then everyone laughed at her so she spent breakfast time cleaning up a big mess and getting upset over spilt cereal. The kitchen staff gave her another breakfast but that made her late for class. Then it sounded like it was just an emotional everyone was eating crackers kind of day so her teacher let her spend chunks of it out in the quad alone. She got to read the class book alone in the quad while the teacher read to the class, she got to spend math in the quad and got her challenge packet that is still too easy. I'm glad she didn't have practice because she was still a mess last night so fingers crossed things go better today.
We had a similar couple of days here. DD1 really struggled with her homework last night - she had 12 vocabulary words and had to write a sentence for each, but could only find 11 when she finished, couldn’t figure out which word she missed... she numbered wrong and had 2 sentence #6’s. Demanded we tell her how to spell a word... let me start you off using this dictionary! Couldn’t figure out a pattern, threw her pencil when I tried to help her... she just could not cope with anything.
This morning she was mad because her sister was sick. Sister was trying not to act sick, because she wanted to go to school, but she had a slight fever and looked much like death warmed over, so I kept her home. DD1 was LIVID that she could not stay home, and was digging in about getting ready as a result. She lamented her bad fortune for the entire 25 minute ride to school. 🙄
Post by madringal on Sept 17, 2019 11:18:10 GMT -5
Some how we all ended up having like a magical, unicorn of a Monday.
DD1 - got some really great feedback and one on one coaching at swim practice last night. She was absolutely beaming when we left the pool. It's going to be a really great season for her.
DD2 - had her first swim team practice of the season and DH said he looked awesome. Fingers crossed they move her up a level this week. It would make our evenings so much easier if she was in the next level up.
And them DD2 went straight to gymnastics practice and DH said she killed it. Her form is really looking good and she is just getting better and better. She just loves this sport so dang much!(But we are still secretly hoping she'll give it up and be a swimmer, lol!)
THEN, when DH got home he surprised me and told me that his bosses boss called him to tell him that he got a promotion and a 10% raise. Add that to my 25% raise I just got and things are looking good in the Madringal household!
And finally, in probably the biggest win of them all - my 3 year old ATE HER DINNER AND DIDN'T COMPLAIN.
librarychica, DD had a meltdown the other day because she got a B on a math worksheet. She didn’t understand what she was supposed to do on one section (which had no instructions and the teacher didn’t explain, she says), but we had crying and yelling and throwing the paper on the floor. Also she’s decided subtracting one two digit number from another is too hard, so she’s trying to count using a number grid. I told her to stop being a nut and do it right.
Oh man, these kids. DD1 doesn’t have a ton of homework, maybe 15 minutes total for her plus reading? And she’s a good student but this year has been rough so far. Part of it is that she wants me to sit near her while she does it so it doesn’t start until like 7PM and she’s tired. This morning I woke her up at 6:15 and it went smoothly so I think I am going to have her do some or all in the AM when she is refreshed. Bonus, H says she is much more cheerful and the mornings go more smoothly when she has QT with me in the morning so I guess I have to focus on getting everyone to bed on time, myself included, so this can be a daily instead of an occasional thing.
How many hours of sleep do the other 7yos and 4yos here get?
Post by mommyatty on Sept 17, 2019 11:38:56 GMT -5
librarychica, my 7 and 5 yo go to bed at 8. DD goes immediately to sleep. DS tosses and turns for half an hour or so. DD wakes up naturally at 6:30 or 7:00. DS we drag out of bed around 7:00. So both probably get 10.5 hours. On weekends, DS wakes up around 6:00 or 6:30 and wants to get up so I think their amount of sleep is okay for them.
librarychica, DD goes to bed between 7-7:45 depending on what day it is and I drag her butt out of bed at 7am. She is 8 and has always slept a lot at night and needs way more sleep than her peers it seems.
Bedtimes: Both DD’s go to bed between 745-815. DD1 is almost 10 but I still have to drag her out of bed at 645 about 1/2 the time. DD2 goes to bed around the same time. She has just never needed as much sleep as DD1. I have to wake her every day, but she wakes up happy 90% of the time.
Post by traveltheworld on Sept 17, 2019 13:19:26 GMT -5
My 7 and 4 year olds go to bed at 8:30 - 9:00. I try to get them to bed earlier every night, but they are the masters of delay. They sleep in till about 7 - 7:30; except for the weekends. On the weekends, they are up before 7. Go figure.
librarychica , DD had a meltdown the other day because she got a B on a math worksheet. She didn’t understand what she was supposed to do on one section (which had no instructions and the teacher didn’t explain, she says), but we had crying and yelling and throwing the paper on the floor. Also she’s decided subtracting one two digit number from another is too hard, so she’s trying to count using a number grid. I told her to stop being a nut and do it right.
Oh man, these kids. DD1 doesn’t have a ton of homework, maybe 15 minutes total for her plus reading? And she’s a good student but this year has been rough so far. Part of it is that she wants me to sit near her while she does it so it doesn’t start until like 7PM and she’s tired. This morning I woke her up at 6:15 and it went smoothly so I think I am going to have her do some or all in the AM when she is refreshed. Bonus, H says she is much more cheerful and the mornings go more smoothly when she has QT with me in the morning so I guess I have to focus on getting everyone to bed on time, myself included, so this can be a daily instead of an occasional thing.
How many hours of sleep do the other 7yos and 4yos here get?
DD1 is 6 (1st grade). lights out by 8pm (and most nights earlier - like 7:30pm). her alarm is set for 6:20am (school starts at 7:30am). so at least 10 hours of sleep a night or she's a monster.
Post by covergirl82 on Sept 17, 2019 14:23:12 GMT -5
Bedtimes: DS needs sleep (he's like me), so he needs to be lights out at 8:30, and then is up at 6:30 or 7:00, depending on if it's a before care at school or getting on the bus morning. DD does not need as much sleep (she's like DH) and can go to sleep between 9:00-9:30 and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 6:30.
Post by twinmomma on Sept 17, 2019 14:24:39 GMT -5
At my house my 7 year olds are in bed reading by between 7:30 and 8, lights out around 8:30. It works in my favor because they will get ready for bed earlier to earn more "bed light reading time." They get up around 6.
Pretty sure at dad's house they're easily up until 9 or 9:30.
Post by sandandsea on Sept 17, 2019 16:17:24 GMT -5
Well we forgot today was picture day so I have no idea what ds is wearing and dh said he didn’t brush his hair. I think Monday forgot to end this week.
Post by erinshelley21 on Sept 17, 2019 19:55:13 GMT -5
DS kissed a girl on the cheek at school today. His teacher thought it was hysterical, so at least this isn't going to be made into a huge deal. DS is super embarrassed, so it has been challenging to discuss it with him. Hopefully DH and I can get somewhere tomorrow.
Post by mommyatty on Sept 17, 2019 19:56:05 GMT -5
erinshelley21- congrats on the new client!!! And boo about your H’s friend not being more helpful! So frustrating when you feel like you’re building some good favor karma and it’s not returned.
My kids’ ages and sleep patterns are very similar to mommyatty . They share a room and DD is out a few minutes after the head hits her pillow, but DS plays for often a long time after that in his room.
callmekd that’s how my kids’ homework is. I like it.
Post by covergirl82 on Sept 18, 2019 8:32:48 GMT -5
erinshelley21, the friend sounds like DH's cousins. They didn't help us when we moved (and they didn't have kids yet, so it's not like it was a child care conflict), but DH helped them move multiple times when they asked (partially because he has a truck). I told DH after the last time, no more. They both are married, dual income, and can afford movers if they move again.
Post by erinshelley21 on Sept 18, 2019 11:47:37 GMT -5
mommyattycovergirl82 it's very frustrating. The last move, their child got very sick and was in the hospital the day before they closed and they had less than 2 weeks to be out of the house they were in. We both took time off work, put our lives on hold, packed the old house (which included no less than 10 loads of laundry), cleaned and changed locks at the new house, coordinated the move, bought a (used) fridge with help from another friend, bought moving boxes that were going to be returned to us over the summer but never were. We didnt do it to get anything in return but have been told dozens of times that when the time comes for us to move that they would be around to help. The wife has him on a short leash and I blame her for DH only getting 8 hours of help since mid-July, including the move. The husband told me to let her know when I needed help packing. I was like, um, any freaking time until the house is empty would have been good!
DD gets relatively easy homework. But it's not submitted. Which is annoying to me. I don't want to have her go through all the effort on something that (a) I don't think is beneficial and (b) the teacher doesn't even care enough to have submitted. But if homework is a thing, I also want her in the habit of doing it and I want her to respect the establishment when possible.
So far, it's spelling homework. She has 10 words, and she has to practice spelling them in various ways. Typing them on the computer, writing them out in fancy letters or rainbow letters. She already knows how to spell the words, so she's not getting anything out of it. But eventually there will be words she doesn't know how to spell.
Weekend was productive. I got a ton of chores done and had extra kids spending the night on both Friday and Saturday nights. And all with a crazy sore throat.
My throat still hurts today. I shot off an emotional email to my middle kid’s (5th grade) lit teacher yesterday about homework that I had to apologize for this morning. I’m just so effing fed up with homework in elementary school when so many studies have shown there’s no benefit and it only proves detrimental. And weekend homework particularly gets my goat.
And tonight I have a meeting for a committee I’m on at the school, DH has a meeting for one of the classes he’s taking (working on his masters and this session he has lots of group projects, ugh) and my two oldest kids have riding lessons. It’s nuts.
And my boss announced his resignation today and this will not be a good thing for me. Blah.
Mondayest Monday ever.
I don't blame you for being fed up with homework in elementary school. The amount of homework students receive each day and week is overwhelming! I was talking to one of my classes earlier this week and explaining to them how they will NEVER have homework from me because I prefer for them to work on things in class with me so I can correct any misunderstandings or give extra help to those who need it. When I taught 4th grade I was the same way. The only homework my students ever took home with them was the assignments they asked if they could take home to work on, even though they knew they would also have class time to work on them. They were really excited and enjoying a lot of the things they were learning, so I wasn't going to tell them they couldn't work on it, but I also let parents know it wasn't required homework. The agendas we filled out in the afternoon were used as a communication log with parents so they could see what we were working on in class in the different subject areas.