Getting pregnant in your mid/late 30s

[carrotsmakemefat]

If you tried after 35, how long did it take you to get pregnant and what was your biggest “I wish I had thought to do X” piece of advice you’d give?

Someone recently said they wish they started prenatal sooner. Or didn’t stress about it. That type of advice to add to the pile?

[cleo29]

prenatal what? vitamins? I never took them when pregnant as they made me horribly sick. I had K just after i turned 35. If anything, i wish I had been working out the way I do now prior to getting pregnant. I think it would have helped my body get back to where I wanted it to be faster. Other than that, nothing. lol I think just being in a good place physically and having good habits would have been a good thing.

[joenali]

I’m still working on it and I’m 42. It’s been 4 years. If you can’t get pregnant within 6 months go see a fertility specialist/Reproductive endocrinologist, not a gyn. I feel like I wasted so much time waiting for appointments to see a gynecologist. I should have just gone to the RE right after 6 months. I also should have skipped iui and gone right to IVF. But money was a huge factor. And in hindsight maybe even should have skipped IVF and should have used an egg donor.

[hermione]

I got pregnant at 37 and had my daughter at 38. It took 14 months to get pregnant but 12 months of that was not not trying. Then I started using OPKs. 2 months later I was pregnant.

I wish I had been exercising more regularly prior to getting pregnant. It was a hard 9 months for me and I think being in better shape may have helped.

[fivechickens]

I started at 35, almost 36. I would have gone to a fertility specialist sooner. My H who is 8 years younger, kept talking me out of going because ‘it really hasn’t been that long if you consider the ‘breaks’ we had to take (related to IF, mind you)’.

He doesn’t look at us as different ages which is great for most things but that isn’t how fertility works.

If it takes 6 months go to a specialist.

ETA: I got pregnant with my girls at 39.

[tiki]

I got pregnant fairly easily at 36 and my only regret was I wasn't already going to the gym / having a regular, established fitness plan before my body changed and life got so much more complicated.

[yourmother]

Ditto to everyone talking about being physically active before/during/after pregnancy. My body didn’t snap back like I planned in my head (lol).

I also agree with skipping the obgyn and going straight to an RE. I feel like I wasted time by working with my gynecologist, as her appointments weren’t as thorough as my RE eventually was.

[steamboat185]

I got pregnant just shy of 37 and it took 2 maybe 3 months. All the doctors I spoke too said they didn’t really treat pregnancy as ama until over 40.

[7costanza]

I had my first at 28, and am now due tomorrow with my second and will be 35 next month. This pregnancy has been so much easier, I think because I had an established fitness routine (dance) and was able to maintain it throughout. I’ve actually gained more weight this time (50 lbs), but being able to stay active has made a huge difference. I’ve also been able to let go of a lot of body image issues this time and embrace the idea that I’m just going to gain what my body and baby needs, and will lose it when my body is ready.

[latte]

I also wish I had been more physically active going into pregnancy. I think I would have had an easier pregnancy if I had.

[expatjen]

I had my first kid at 31 and my second kid at 38. Second time around was definitely harder (took us almost 3 years to have her - we tried naturally for 2 years then did IVF). I think if we were to do it all again, I would’ve done IVF a year sooner.

[VillainV]

For me the issue wasn’t getting pregnant but staying pregnant. The change of miscarriage goes up as we age, and I wasn’t prepared for the multiple losses that ultimately made us OAD.

[snapoutofit]

I had DS at 39 (turned 40 6 mos later). I was fortunate and had no trouble conceiving. It was like 2 or three months. I don’t know if I would have done anything differently. Perhaps if I hadn’t been overweight when I got pregnant I wouldn’t have gotten gestational diabetes. But who knows? It was managed with diet and I otherwise had a very easy pregnancy.

[PatBenatar]

I had my first at 31 and it took me over a year and a half to conceive with the help of an RE

For my second it was 4 months, loss at 8 weeks, then another 5 months for my daughter. I was 36. I didn't need an RE the second time.

I wish I had dropped more weight before. It is so much harder to lose weight in my late 30s.

[UMaineTeach]

It technically took 6 months, but H was working away 2 weeks on/off. He always seemed gone around ovulation.

I just regret being so anxious about being older and something going wrong that I couldn’t relax and enjoy the pregnancy.

[aprilsails]

I am past due with DS right now at 35. I was ready to get started trying a year earlier but due to job loss and uncertainty for DH our timeline was moved back a year. I took the year to get more active and lose the pesky 15 lbs that had creeped up after getting back to pre-pregnancy weight with DD. I also cleaned up my diet quite a bit and have stuck with it through pregnancy (other than chips, I could live off chips but I try not to). I’ve had a very easy pregnancy and look and feel great right now.

One thing to consider is what kind of BC a person is using. With DD I was on Seasonale which is a pretty strong pill. I had read TCOYF and was doing BBT tracking (I am an engineer and love science experiments) and I am 100% certain that I didn’t properly ovulate for 6 months after coming off that pill. I conceived at 7m, had a loss, and conceived again 2m later (age 31). This time I was on Mirena and my cycle normalized instantly when it was removed. Conceived at 2m, had a loss, conceived again the next cycle. Overall not too bad of an experience.

I never had any expectation that I wouldn’t experience some losses since my Mom had so many and is very open about it. I think that’s also important to keep in mind.

[sapphireblue]

I tried with my exH for years with no luck, so after my divorce, with my SO, when we decided to try for a baby, we went immediately to a fertility clinic (we were both already in our 40s) and we went straight for donor eggs.

Sometimes I wish I had tried with my own eggs (even though I would want the exact same two children) but we didn't have a ton of money for it plus we were very aware of our ages and how long some of this can take so we wanted the greatest odds of actually getting pregnant and having a healthy baby without breaking the bank. It worked for us.

I don't think I would have gotten pregnant ever on my own but I do have lots of friends that got pregnant without really trying well after age 35 to answer one of your questions, OP. Two friends that got pregnant by surprise at the age of 45!

[underwaterrhymes]

My first was not on purpose. In fact, we were TTA. Most awesome whoops ever. I was 37.

I was 40 when we started trying for our second. I got pregnant immediately - the first month we tried - which frankly shocked the crap out of us.

[revolution]

I had DS when I was 36. It was physically harder than my first. (he was almost 3 lbs bigger than my first also). BUT, I wish I would've figured out something to make the body not hurt as much during pregnancy - maybe more walking or something? Exercise was tough working full time and chasing a toddler around, I was beat by the end of the day.

I also wish I would've watched more carefully after birth what I ate/did. The weight did not come off like it did with my first. I'm still holding onto about 30 lbs of the 60 I gained. He's 7 now, so I've conceded to not getting back to a size 2 and enjoying my new size.

[cleo29]

Sept 18, 2019 22:48:09 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Sept 18, 2019 22:43:01 GMT -5 steamboat185 said:

I got pregnant just shy of 37 and it took 2 maybe 3 months. All the doctors I spoke too said they didn’t really treat pregnancy as ama until over 40.

This is interesting b/c it is age 35 by definition. My friends who were 35 or older were treated as such. It wasn’t much difference, some extra testing, maybe a scan. 

I agree with this and my friend is an L&D nurse and will tell you the same.

[cabbagecabbage]

I didn't try but I has a surprise baby at 35 (one time without a goalie CD6) after unexplained IF, a miscarriage, and 19 cycles to concieve my first. My advice is that anything happen even if you've done it before. I also recommend staying active. I worked out throughout my second pregnancy and had a much easier time at 35 than I had at 31 with my first. Good luck!

I was told ama at 35 isn't dangerous. It's basically where the algorithms have determined its financially beneficial to insurance to cover testing and certain precautions. That's it.

[steamboat185]

Sept 18, 2019 22:48:09 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Sept 18, 2019 22:43:01 GMT -5 steamboat185 said:

I got pregnant just shy of 37 and it took 2 maybe 3 months. All the doctors I spoke too said they didn’t really treat pregnancy as ama until over 40.

This is interesting b/c it is age 35 by definition. My friends who were 35 or older were treated as such. It wasn’t much difference, some extra testing, maybe a scan. 

Yes they said it’s technically 35, but they chose not to do anything until 40 for women who were in general good health.

[achi]

I had my first at 30. Took us 7 months to conceive but then everything was fine.

I'm now 6 weeks away from being 35 and we've been trying to have our second for 17 months and I've had 3 losses, a PCOS diagnosis and am waiting on DNA karyotyping. I've been taking prenatals the entire time, doing my best to keep stress levels down, be active, blah blah blah.

I don't know that there's anything I wish I had done sooner, other than maybe start TTCing when DS was 2 instead of 3. But we needed to wait until DS was approaching school for financial reasons and had I gotten pregnant right away and made it to birth then it would have been really tight for us.

My biggest advice is to get to know your body and it's rhythms. Charting and monitoring your fertile signs are a great way to do that. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great resource.

[lovelyshoes]

Get a full work up done for you and your partner so you aren’t wasting time in case something needs to be addressed. If you aren’t successful in 6 months go to a quality RE, do your research, don’t go to just anyone.
We had unexplained secondary IF.
I know some people said coq10 helped, acupuncture and such, none of it helped me, but people say it helped them.
Check out the other boards. The women are nice and there’s a lot of information.

[sunflower17]

It took 5 months of trying to get pregnant with my first daughter at age 35.
For my current pregnancy, it was unexpected. I’m 37 and I was on birth control (missed some and was on some antibiotics) and not a lot of sex and boom.
When I was actively trying I took prenatal vitamins, but that’s all. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten Botox the week I accidentally conceived had I known LOL, but my Ob said it wasn’t a big deal. Clearly, I couldn’t change it. And honestly I can’t wait until I give birth to get more!

[megstoo]

I'm still working on it and I'm 39. I've already gone through an entire round of IVF with no success and getting ready for our final embryo transfer. If this doesn't work it's back to square 1. Biggest thing is don't waste your time with your OB or trying on your own any longer than you have. Make an appointment with an RE to discuss your options. There's a lot of tests that will be done on you and your husband. The biggest thing, be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster. It's not pretty and by far the most emotional and stressful (and financial) thing I've ever done.

[meowmaps]

I got pregnant and had DD at 35. As others have suggested, I worked really hard to eat right and exercise before and throughout pregnancy. I do think it helped me tremendously.

It took us fifteen months to get pregnant. The best advice I would give is to be proactive from the start. I just assumed getting pregnant would be easy. I was very ignorant. Once I started temping I got pregnant within five cycles. I also did acupuncture. I don’t know if it helped or was a coincidence but I got pregnant the cycle after I started it.

I did have extra ultrasounds but I think that was more about monitoring DD’s size because I was a gigantic baby. Fortunately, she was the higher end of average and I was able to have the delivery I was hoping for.

[nicolewi]

There's just no way to know what will happen. I was super lucky and got pregnant very easily at 33, 35, 37 and 39. If you aren't already charting/temping I would do that right away, and also start prenatals right away. I just took the over-the-counter Target kind with each pregnancy.

As others have noted, if you don't have success in about 6 months consider seeing an RE.

ETA: even though I was "advanced maternal age," they really didn't do much different at all. I had a higher-level ultrasound, and I think additional testing was available earlier. However, due to crappy insurance rules and some of the testing still being new, I didn't have the extra testing anyway. All I remember is the better ultrasound being "standard." 

[gastro]

I had my kids at 30, 34, and 38. Being in shape beforehand, cutting out alcohol and caffeine were things I did. I got pregnant easily every time - within a cycle or two. I also had many miscarriages in between pregnancies one and two. This board was a wonderful source during those times.

[cville]

My son was born shortly before I turned 36, after a pregnancy loss. Because of the loss, I kept meticulous notes about everything re TTC and my pregnancy (grief does weird things to people). While I ended up being able to conceive again without intervention, I'm glad I had those notes because it helped to identify thyroid and iron issues while I was pregnant and PPD afterwards.

So, keep notes. And make an appointment exactly 6 months after trying if you don't get pregnant. Don't wait a year.