People in general are caught up in the glory of being busy. WFH/technology allowing us to be "on" more than ever is definitely contributing to the problem, but I feel like now more than ever it is "hip" to be over-scheduled.
Plus, it is hard, as the article said, to back away when someone else in the office is willing to do an insane amount of work (even if it isn't rewarded). At my old job, basically the attitude was if you weren't all in and emailing at all hours of the night you weren't invested/weren't trying. When my boss left, she told me that if I wanted to keep my job, I should literally just copy the dean on everything I did so it appeared I was "really busy." I did, and I got an award for diligence. LOL... We really have to switch this attitude where more is considered "better" no matter what, but I am not sure how that will happen.
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I know I feel the pressure to have my kids involved in more. My friend across the street told me that her kids are "odd" because at 6 and 4 they don't want to do the activities she keeps scheduling them for, and they just want to stay home. "They haven't found their passion, " she said.
In certain groups we are involved with, parents are heavily pressured to sign up for more and more hours of volunteering even when it isn't really necessary for the group to succeed. The attitude is very much... Do you really care if you are not putting in X amount of hours to the activity?
Kid sports drive me nuts. My best friend has both of her kids enrolled in soccer, hip hop, and some other activity. They are *always* busy on weekends. The other weekend, my MIL had our kids and I asked her about going for a hike and she was all "omg, I would love to, but we have a soccer game and then a school thing, and blah blah blah." It's really frustrating for me. She never has time to just hang out because her family is always on the go. Meanwhile, I'm over here not putting my kids in any activities because I'm not willing to give up my weekends to that. I suppose it's just different preferences, but I definitely feel it even though I'm not the one who is overscheduled.
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I'm probably one of those overscheduled parents, as my SD has a swim meet two weekends a month. It's hard, because she LOVES swimming and has always been the one wanting to do it year round - we didn't push her into it at all. My SIL/BIL have sort of made passive-aggressive comments to us about how their DD won't EVER do a sport that has games/meets on the weekend or during the summer because that's their family time. And I'm always like..."ok, but what if your DD WANTS to do a sport like that someday?" (Their DD is only 4). Yes, I get that you can just tell your kid no, but it would be hard for us to tell SD no more swimming when she loves it and thrives off of having that physical outlet and social time with her friends. Still, it definitely makes me crave and look forward to our unscheduled weekends.
"As for the children, they’re not off building forts; they’re padding their college applications with extracurricular activities or playing organized sports. A soccer game ought to impose an ethos of not working on a parent, and offer a chance to chat with neighbors and friends. Lately, however, I’ve been seeing more adults checking their email on the sidelines."
This part of the article though...I totally feel. There are no clear demarcations in life anymore. When I'm at work I'm distracted by kid shit, and when I'm at kid shit I am checking my work email.
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I 100% get it and don't want to be like your in-laws making snide comments. I played both club and high school soccer and was *always* busy with practice and games. My sister danced and was always busy with different classes and then had two or three performances a year that took the entirety of a weekend from sun up to sun down. So I know that lifestyle and have lived it. I don't want to tell my kids they can't do that. To be fair though, I was old enough to go to practices, games, and out of town tournaments with friends and their parents, which freed my mom up to do her own thing. And then she in turn would offer the same to my teammates and their parents. My mom didn't skip my stuff often, but sometimes she needed to prioritize herself.
I guess I just figured that by the time we got to that point, it would be a little later and then DH and I would be enmeshed in that group of parents and would form friendships there.
My friend's older son is 6, but his younger brother is only 3 and they are both in multiple activities that require time during the week and on the weekends. I don't begrudge my friend wanting to give her kids those opportunities. I'm just a frustrated friend who wants to see her and I'm not able to because of her schedule. It just sucks.