Wtf. Stop coughing. Stop making shit I need to cough to get rid of.
Signed, Rest of my Body
Dear Speakers at Conference:
You guys are all so smart and engaging. But it’s Day 3. My mind is no longer on you. It’s wondering how long it takes to get to the airport so I can get home.
Wow thanks for being super painful. The only reason I made it to work is because I took a hot steamy shower. The medicines I was taking were not super helpful.
waverly, I just went through the same thing. Have you tried a sinus rinse? So effing nasty, but it really helped almost immediately when nothing else had.
k3am, not yet, but I have a neti pot at home. I guess that will be in my future for tonight. I was this close from taking the day off work today but we had an important meeting this morning.
So far my new strategy of "do nothing for 3 weeks" when we get a term sheet seems to be working. I have only underwritten 3 deals that we won't be able to do vs the normal 6 or so.
Signed, Ugh.
Dear WP,
I really don't like my job. The job itself, not the company or the people I work with, both of which are pretty decent. I'm good at it, and the pay is good, but every day, I am bored to tears. Based on where we live and our lifestyle, I can't afford to take less pay with no end in sight.
I have a standing job offer from another company that I can make more money at, but.. it's the same role. At a smaller company (that likes to act like it's a big company) and I don't think I'll mesh well with the culture. I'm at a complete loss of if/how I could pivot my career into another role/industry. How do I figure this out?
k3am, I don't know. I feel like DH just applied to a lot of different jobs until he got one where he had to show how to do analytics. He taught himself, and that has been sort of his role lately.
But there were other things he did, not sure if he was super interested in them, like he got his Project Management certificate. And I think he applied to a ton of different jobs. Honestly, it's been a struggle for him because he was a consultant but a generalist, and he felt he needed to go into something more specific. He also learned that corporate is maybe not for him. I know some people move in and out of there easily, be he always felt the transition was rough and that it wasn't a good fit. It has been a super bumpy ride, but you know you do have that second income so if you have to take some risks maybe you should just start applying and seeing what is out there. Or there is always the go back to school route, but if you are anything like me you are sort of done with that.
And I keep saying take risks and apply elsewhere, but I have definitely not been doing that either because I have a similar situation in that I am making more here than I will anywhere else, and young kids blah blah blah. But maybe when I am older and the kids are out of the house, I might apply to a fancy college in the city just to say I did, you know. But the difference is 80% of the time I like my job. I don't think I could stay if I only liked it like 10% of the time.
k3am- can you ask to take on new responsibilities at your current job? I did that, and it helped a lot. It’s a whole new area for me and it’s much more marketable than the rest of my job, so I’m learning and growing while also moving toward being able to get a different job.
I know you think me unfair, but you simply can’t exist eating nothing but candy, chips, and goldfish crackers. I’ve given up on trying to get you to eat veggies other than carrot sticks, but you do have to eat some fruit. It was not unreasonable for me to send an apple for your snack today when you’re buying Bagel Bites for lunch, and it’s Brownie day at lunch. You did not have to bring candy in addition to an apple. Still hungry? Grab a cheese stick or a yogurt to have with it. No, chips don’t have protein. In a month, you’ve grown out of your uniform, and this isn’t a growth spurt.
Also, you have to study for tests. I know you don’t like it, but I don’t care. You don’t have to study for an hour, but 15-20 mins probably would have been sufficient. Instead, you spent your time screaming at me.
Today’s meltdown was totally unacceptable, and I really can’t take it anymore. Neither can the rest of our family. I can’t handle you anymore. Medication seems to help you, but I usually get to deal with you in the morning before it kicks in, or in the afternoon when it starts to wear off.
Post by supertrooper1 on Nov 13, 2019 11:47:21 GMT -5
k3am, I was in a unique spot where I used my expertise from my old job and got my new job under the same employer. I'm very glad I took the job I have now because of the work culture that keeps getting worse at my old job. But I can see myself getting bored with this job, although it's too good to give up. It's tough making career changes.
Post by supertrooper1 on Nov 13, 2019 11:50:34 GMT -5
Dear STBXH, You can't control me anymore. I followed our parenting plan and didn't have to tell you that DS met Beau, but I gave you the courtesy of letting you know. You being upset that I didn't tell you ahead of time is just your way of trying to control me. I'm not sure what telling you ahead of time would have done anyway. Signed, Ready to be divorced.
Dear self, Don't let STBXH get under your skin. Signed, Can't get down anymore because of him
Post by librarychica on Nov 13, 2019 11:55:24 GMT -5
Dear self,
I wish you’d pushed back harder against coming back full time. Especially since the imminent retirement/related promotion that prompted doesn’t seem very imminent.
k3am - can you ask to take on new responsibilities at your current job? I did that, and it helped a lot. It’s a whole new area for me and it’s much more marketable than the rest of my job, so I’m learning and growing while also moving toward being able to get a different job.
So my role as an individual contributor doesn't really have much more responsibilities I could take on. Basically in my career trajectory (this institution or others) would be to basically continue doing the exact same thing but with more complex deals and/or managerial responsibilities. Which I don't like.
I could switch to another division, but I'd be (a) out of my depth and (b) doing the same things just slightly differently, and with more of what I don't like mixed in. I also know that my pay and bonus structure relative to similar roles in the bank is very much in my favor.
Ordering every single employee new business cards with our "new" logo was a great idea. Especially since we're moving in a few months and they'll all need to be replaced at that time.
Signed, Just threw out ~300 business cards from the old batch.. that I ordered in 2015.
Dear Week Can you please slow down. The week is flying. How can it be Wednesday already Me
Dear School Its great that DD is winning a VIP award today. But telling me 24 hours in advance isn't helpful. Luckily work is slow and I can adjust but I wish we could stop this expectation that parents can drop everything and go to school for a 20 minute assemble in the middle of the day. WP
Post by covergirl82 on Nov 13, 2019 15:02:02 GMT -5
Dear car,
Why does maintenance have to cost so much? And of course, I need new tires at this same time too. I hope you last a long time (especially since we're planning on you being DD's car when she starts driving)!
Dear staff, You're killing me. I just lost a part time person today, who was already not here as many hours as I need. And on Friday I have to give a review that's basically going to result in an employee quitting or barely lasting until their next review. FML. Signed, I need a good team please
Dear beau, I'm drinking at our date on Friday. I'm not normally a drinker, but this week, it's on. Signed, Hope you're buying
k3am, I feel like you’re pretty much winning if you like the company and people and get paid well. And if boring is the worst thing you can say - vs a toxic environment or whatever. I’m in a similar boat.
But maybe don’t listen to me - I’m a very risk averse person who prefers ‘the devil that I know’ vs some of the horror stories I hear about other jobs. Plus I have a very niche-y job - no other similar firms/roles that would pay me as much for my exact skills in my town, and I want to stay here.
But I totally agree with PPs that it would make sense to ask about other opportunities to change/enhance responsibilities with your same firm!
Post by AdaraMarie on Nov 13, 2019 23:48:37 GMT -5
Dear X, Please get it together and do something right for your kids. Tired of trying to make DD2 feel better every time she has to stay with you. Dear work, Thanks? for updating my operating system on my laptop. Now, if only the resolution on my computer would get fixed without a third trip to IT so I could actually read my computer...that would be great. Dear self, I know you "don't care" about your work right now, but you do actually need this job so do better.
Post by librarychica on Nov 14, 2019 7:29:38 GMT -5
Dear H,
I am so tired of having to handle everything. I asked you to make the dog’s vet appointment to be spayed. You did. I arranged to work from home so I could easily drop her off and pick her up. Then you gave her friggin breakfast! How did you not know that she can’t eat? You made the appointment!
“Why are you upset? I’ll take care of it?” When? She must be spayed be boarded and you’re out of state the next surgery day.
Dear industry event, Could you be MORE tone deaf? Your "women's entrepreneurship" day has a panel of MEN as the headliners? Talking about how to advance women's rights? What the actual fuck. Signed, Fuming
sdlaura , most of the time I'm in your boat. Especially after my prior company, which was the definition of toxic. So there are a *lot* of things here that I minimize because I know it's better than dealing with the alternative.
So I have a boring, stable, well paying position, which is definitely not something to disregard lightly.
But it's definitely stagnant. There is really no career path and/or increasing responsibilities outside of doing the same thing in a managerial role. 100% of the work I do now, I was doing 10 years ago, now just with less oversight, no mentoring, and no analyst support.
There are basically 3 typical career paths for my role - keep on keeping on, moving into a managerial role, or growing your network and moving into business development.
I also have a manager who doesn't want to manage, a company with no true vision for what my division does/deals we want to do, and about 1/2 of the work I do ends up leading.. no where, because of those issues. (For example.. boss is convinced we can do deals with certain parameters and gets a prospect to sign up. I tell him we can't do it for reasons XYZ, he doesn't listen, I spend weeks working on something. I submit for approval, and they don't want to do it because of reasons XYZ, so it gets escalated to our CEO... sometimes he'll push it through, sometimes he won't, but I can't really figure out why he falls in love with some deals and not others)
k3am, that does sound really frustrating. My potential career paths are similar to yours. I'm not interested in the headaches of managing people, and I could probably make a lot more money in a business development role, but I'm not interested in going from 20-30% to 60%+ travel and doing all the night and weekend stuff that it would entail. My saving grace is that I work with long-term clients, and can continue to try to work with newer/larger/more interesting ones.
It sounds like your firm needs something like an internal consultant/strategist or something to help determine strategic direction and better parameters for moving deals forward. Is that something they'd let you work on?
sdlaura, I have brought up some things that we need to work on, particularly in regards to just establishing "what is our box" ie: what kinds of deals does the company want our division to do. The idea was well received by my credit officer (ie: the people who approve my deals), but not by my boss or our CEO. Our CEO seemed shocked that I felt there was a disconnect. If you ask our CEO, my boss, credit, what our target market/ideal deal is, you'll get four different answers. But since the two largest stakeholders aren't interested, I've basically given up.
This is an "old" company, and the goal is to be bought, so there is basically no one interested in any kind of process improvement.
sdlaura, I have a minor amount from when I joined. I keep bringing it up, being told more will happen, and nothing happens.
I've also been told that an acquisition is probably 2-3 years on the horizon since I started 4.5 years ago, and instead we've bought 3 competitors, so who knows what will actually happen.
twinmomma, please tell me people are complaining to the event coordinators.
It's a local group, so probably not. My state is small and not exactly progressive... The entire event webpage is terribly written and sounds really condescending. something about being surrounded by your beautiful sisters... gag. Then I got to the panel piece and lost my mind.