What would you give this mom?

[isabel]

I have a letter from a single mom. She has a 2 year old and 6 month old. She asked only for clothing, shoes, and coats for them, some toys, and a double stroller. I'd like to get some things for her. I figured I would include a gift card so she can get some clothes for herself, but what would you give just to make her feel good. My head immediately goes to stuff like bath bombs, but that's not actually something I would personally use. What do you like to de-stress, what things make you feel good?

[isabel]

dup

[followyourarrow]

Coffee or tea with a mug. Sparkly earrings. Lip Balm. A box of chocolates.

[Dagny]

Some super cozy slippers, a fuzzy blanket, some coffee or tea, and a gift card for books!

[bex1973]

Some really nice lotion, I think everyone has dry hands in the winter. I would just stick with unscented gentle stuff since you might not know their sensitivity level.

I would avoid gift cards for self care at a spa, massage, pedicure or the like since they would then have to take time to use and you don't know if that is hard (transportation, child care, etc.)

[nicolewi]

Target gift card (10% off Sunday).

Good quality cocoa mix? Fuzzy throw. Maybe a cute tote bag or backpack, like the canvas kind from Lands' End or LL Bean type (huge sales this time of year). I use mine all the time to schlep kid stuff around. Comfy socks. Earrings (someone suggested above) are a good idea. Winter hat and gloves in a neutral color? Not sure where you live.

[downtoearth]

Is this from the USPS one? Glad you found the sizes for her. Target has some cute sweaters and clothes right now.

But I have some ideas for other things that a single mom might like...

Diffuser and some oils:
www.amazon.com/InnoGear-Ultrasonic-Humidifier-Peppermint-Adjustable/dp/B07GKCNGLQ/ref=dp_ob_title_hpc

Cute wooden watch:
www.amazon.com/BOBO-BIRD-Cowhide-Leather-Watches/dp/B00ZI9ZTWM/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=wood+watch+women&qid=1575658515&sr=8-7

Double stroller accessory:
www.amazon.com/J-L-Childress-DoubleCOOL-Double-Wide-Compartments/dp/B00DE72E14/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?keywords=double+stroller+accessories&qid=1575659607&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFRWkVKMUZDU0hDS1MmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTAwODU3NzQyUEFRUzBBREk2WDlGJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAwMjc4NTExVzlaUk5STzBTSUhJJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Maybe a mug/water bottle to go with that double stroller accessory:
www.amazon.com/KollyKolla-Insulated-Stainless-Thermoflask-Leakproof/dp/B07P5CDCJ9/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=12oz%2Bstainless%2Bsteel%2Bmug&qid=1575659796&refinements=p_36%3A1253555011&rnid=386589011&s=sports-and-fitness&sr=1-7&th=1&psc=1

Burts Bees hand repair kit:
www.amazon.com/Burts-Bees-Repair-Creams-Gloves/dp/B0009F3R7E/ref=sr_1_30?keywords=stocking+stuffers+for+women&qid=1575660154&sr=8-30

or Burts Bees travel set:
www.amazon.com/Burts-Bees-Repair-Creams-Gloves/dp/B00V0XQAU0/ref=sr_1_30?keywords=stocking%2Bstuffers%2Bfor%2Bwomen&qid=1575660154&sr=8-30&th=1

Face masks:
www.amazon.com/Blanc-Therapy-Moisturizer-EggWhite-Nutritional/dp/B07Q4NPX1C/ref=sxbs_sxwds-stvp?keywords=stocking+stuffers+for+women&pd_rd_i=B07Q4NPX1C&pd_rd_r=d8c4cd7d-a948-4e23-aa18-f222c775d8f6&pd_rd_w=8aFO5&pd_rd_wg=8knAR&pf_rd_p=a6d018ad-f20b-46c9-8920-433972c7d9b7&pf_rd_r=137WR5BGC5G4J7TDDV2H&qid=1575660154

Soft, cute scarf:
www.amazon.com/HITOP-Classic-Christmas-Stocking-Stuffers/dp/B07YC9N7Y4/ref=sr_1_213_sspa?keywords=stocking%2Bstuffers%2Bfor%2Bwomen&qid=1575660602&sr=8-213-spons&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExNzYzWUdMMEtBU09XJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMjg0MjQ5MUU2TEZLUkxUOFJLTiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMTg3MzY2SVNBQkxDTldTVjVaJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfbXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ&th=1

[Patsy Baloney]

I like the nice hand lotion idea. I really love getting samples of skin care, masks, etc. because they're things *just* for me. I'm not going to use the eye cream on my kids, lol.

A nice throw would be great - I have a fuzzy one that is "mommy's blanket" at my house, but I don't know what shipping something like that would be (I assume this is for the USPS santa wishlists)

I think sweets are always nice to get, too, but I don't have any food allergies/health issues that would keep me from snarfing down some chocolates after my kids are in bed.

[wildrice]

A bottle of wine? I would enjoy giftcards for things like Starbucks, Dunkin, Panera, Chipotle, etc to treat myself to lunch or a coffee.

What about fuzzy slippers or a warm blanket/robe? Candles that smell good? I'd love good books to read, a giftcard for something like Redbox or the movie theater, yummy snacks. I don't really do any "pampering" stuff like painting my nails or facials or whatever but I think that kind of thing would appeal to most women.

[winecat]

If she's pretty low income, then a gift card to buy things that she needs but aren't covered by SNAP, etc. could be helpful; feminine care, deodorant, etc.. Not a luxury but not having to worry about basic needs is a huge weight off. Maybe some cute reusable shopping bags instead of gift bags?

[hocus2]

I would avoid most edible/drinkable items.

I would suggest a hand care kit with gloves, high quality unscented lotion, a nail trimming set and one or two bottles of polish. I would also consider good socks or a notebook and pen. Our school does a collection for women in shelters with a program that serves these women year round. These were some of items suggested.

They also suggest gifts cards to places like dunkin, CVS and fast food places like Burger King.

[formerlyak]

When I was a single mom, one of the hardest things for me some days was getting dinner made because I'd come home exhausted but being solo with my kid 80% of the time, there was no option to just sit when I got home from work. Maybe a gift card for take out so she can order in for the family on a night when she's just had a long day.

[Leeham Rimes]

I’ve been a legit broke mom before (not single parent) and truly, the thing that gave me most relief was extra money, I know you said you were doing a gc already but maybe just put in whatever you were gonna spend on extras on the gc.

It may not be a popular opinion but that’s what helped me most. Even an extra $50 meant a world of difference.

[icedcoffee]

Agree with Leeham Rimes. I'd just do a GC. While I would appreciate it, I wouldn't really use any of the stuff people have listed.

I don't paint my nails, I have blankets up the wazoo, I have enough lotion to moisturize an entire colony, I have a million mugs. You don't know what she likes to eat.

Just do a gift card. Target sounds good and is 10% off on Sunday. Maybe add a note that you hope she can use it to pamper herself this holiday season.

[winecat]

Dec 6, 2019 14:54:21 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I’ve been a legit broke mom before (not single parent) and truly, the thing that gave me most relief was extra money, I know you said you were doing a gc already but maybe just put in whatever you were gonna spend on extras on the gc.

It may not be a popular opinion but that’s what helped me most. Even an extra $50 meant a world of difference.

1000%.  I've not been a broke mom but I've been so, so broke.  Not having to pick between dinner and tampons would have been amazing.  Being able to buy what you need when you need it is a huge luxury.  

[isabel]

Dec 6, 2019 14:54:21 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I’ve been a legit broke mom before (not single parent) and truly, the thing that gave me most relief was extra money, I know you said you were doing a gc already but maybe just put in whatever you were gonna spend on extras on the gc.

It may not be a popular opinion but that’s what helped me most. Even an extra $50 meant a world of difference.

The more I think about it, the more I think I'll just do this. Per her letter, they are new immigrants (she says, "first Christmas in the USA") and she does not have a job yet.

When DH was unemployed, my mom and MIL got us all these nice things for Christmas. My mom's theme for me that year was "relaxation." Except, no amount of bath bombs and massages and nice lotions were going to help me relax. I sat there smiling on the outside and wishing on the inside that she had just given me cash. That's what would have truly relieved my stress.

[Leeham Rimes]

Dec 6, 2019 15:09:15 GMT -5 winecat said:

Dec 6, 2019 14:54:21 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I’ve been a legit broke mom before (not single parent) and truly, the thing that gave me most relief was extra money, I know you said you were doing a gc already but maybe just put in whatever you were gonna spend on extras on the gc.

It may not be a popular opinion but that’s what helped me most. Even an extra $50 meant a world of difference.

1000%.  I've not been a broke mom but I've been so, so broke.  Not having to pick between dinner and tampons would have been amazing.  Being able to buy what you need when you need it is a huge luxury.  

I still remark to my husband about how truly blessed we are to be able to just get whatever I want at the grocery store and not have to add it up on the Calculator and then have a panic attack that I won’t have enough money. We may not be rich but the ability to not worry about shopping for essentials is a luxury many don’t have.

And if she does want nail polish or blankets that she can go get it herself on the gc, but being able to make that decision means a lot.

[Eagles]

I got two moms of small kids this year (two different families). One mom asked for shirts and jeans and a candle, the other asked for a candle, earrings, and a necklace. I'm adding a Visa gc for each so they can use it for whatever they need.

I mentioned to a coworker today that I hate that there are so many of these gift drives, because it means we as a society are failing so many people. One mom only asked for clothes for her daughters, including socks.

[froggy76]

I would do warm fuzzy socks, hand lotion, and a gift card.

[followyourarrow]

Dec 6, 2019 15:30:50 GMT -5 Eagles said:

I got two moms of small kids this year (two different families). One mom asked for shirts and jeans and a candle, the other asked for a candle, earrings, and a necklace. I'm adding a Visa gc for each so they can use it for whatever they need.

I mentioned to a coworker today that I hate that there are so many of these gift drives, because it means we as a society are failing so many people. One mom only asked for clothes for her daughters, including socks.

Sometimes I wonder if they only ask for clothes and socks because way too many people are all "no skittles for poor people", so they don't think they can.  Or if they feel guilt asking for anything for themselves.  Both of these things make me totally sad.  

[sent]

I agree to just give her more on the gift card. Maybe wrap everything really really nice so she can feel good about the beautiful packaging?

Fortunately I have never had to be in a financially vulnerable place. My favorite way to "relax" is to watch TV under a blanket, often with a bowl of warm carbs. People have given me lotions, sprays, bath bombs, eye masks, candles, fuzzy socks, nail kits, scarves etc. I never wind up using any of that stuff. My staff gave me a $30 gift card to Ulta this summer. That was totally unexpected and I wish they had just kept their money. They may find Ulta to be a place to get this kind "fun for you" stuff we're discussing but I've never been there. I still have yet to step foot in there even though I go to that shopping plaza all the time.

[penguingrrl]

I would do cash. Guessing what gift card is useful can be difficult, and I find the generic visa gift cards often have weird restrictions on them or are otherwise kind of difficult to use.

[Leeham Rimes]

Dec 6, 2019 17:14:06 GMT -5 followyourarrow said:

Dec 6, 2019 15:30:50 GMT -5 Eagles said:

I got two moms of small kids this year (two different families). One mom asked for shirts and jeans and a candle, the other asked for a candle, earrings, and a necklace. I'm adding a Visa gc for each so they can use it for whatever they need.

I mentioned to a coworker today that I hate that there are so many of these gift drives, because it means we as a society are failing so many people. One mom only asked for clothes for her daughters, including socks.

Sometimes I wonder if they only ask for clothes and socks because way too many people are all "no skittles for poor people", so they don't think they can.  Or if they feel guilt asking for anything for themselves.  Both of these things make me totally sad.  

It’s probably both with a mix of they genuinely need socks and underwear and $12 a pack is often times out of reach when you have to buy groceries and pay rent and maybe buy a prescription you weren’t prepared for or your electric bill was $60 more than you budgeted.

It is sad, for any and all of the reasons.

[mcsangel2]

Nail polish, coffee, bath bombs, lotion, facial setting spray...all that stuff would be wasted on me. And I don't know why asking for clothes, socks, and underwear would depress anyone so much that they'd ignore it and insist on something 'pampering'. The mom is a new American immigrant; what we could consider pampering could make no sense for her. Getting a bunch of brand new clothes and underwear that you NEED, in quantities you could never afford, would make me feel amazing if I was struggling for money. Having extra money for feminine products or some unexpected expense would be way way way better than a throw blanket and Starbucks gift cards.

[jennistarr1]

I am thinking (might depend where you or she lives) gloves, Pom hat, scarf set

and a purse or tote bag

[snipsnsnails]

Cash. Can you give cash? Gift cards can be tricky depending on the position.

Just for a different perspective, many of my friends and people I’ve known in similar positions don’t or didn’t have reliable access to transportation. They use public transportation to get to work or walk. They rely heavily on (overpriced) nearby small shops they can get to by foot or bus. In my suburban town, a Target gift card, for example, would be traded for cash or go unused, because the nearest is roughly 15ish miles away.

It might be hard to give cash. I’d also suggest a soft blanket or air mattress and bedding. I just met a family last week, in similar circumstances, who had been here 6 months, but didn’t yet have a bed. An air mattress proved extremely useful for them b/c they could use the mattress they did have, but now the 3 kids also had an air mattress. (Before, they all shared the 1 mattress.)

[ckay]

Visa gift card or cash.