Post by covergirl82 on Dec 23, 2019 11:02:57 GMT -5
I'm WFH today. DS is home with me. DD wanted to go to our old in-home DCP's house and play with some of her old DC friends.
Weekend was pretty good and relaxing for the most part.
Tonight I need to wrap all the Santa gifts. All other Christmas gifts have been wrapped and are ready to go. Tomorrow I have to make rolls for Christmas at my parents' house and do some chores around the house.
DH decided over the weekend that he wants to go to Chicago to the Museum of Science & Industry on Thursday, and we'll stay overnight at a hotel in Michigan City, IN on the way home. Thankfully my parents were available to stay overnight with our dog so that we could stay overnight. While I was hoping to relax at home the day after Christmas, I'm sure the kids will be happy to go do something fun and stay at a hotel with a pool.
Weekend was quick..son is sick had to go to hospital we are home now..will be resting the next few days..hope by Christmas day he is feeling a bit better.
We did Christmas at the inlaws this weekend.. and.. I'm really frustrated. They always go so far overboard. There were more presents under the tree just for the kids than all of the presents they well get from us, Santa, stockings at two houses AND my family combined. Each kid does NOT need 20+ gifts. Some of them are on the pricey side, some were dollar store quality (a few have already broken and been thrown away.) A lot were things that they weren't even buying with my kids in mind thinking they'd like them (DD does NOT like chocolate, has never liked chocolate, but got multiple chocolates.. DS is 3.5, he does not need toys aimed at ages 8+). Some of them are things that they asked if we wanted them to get from the kids and DH told them in no uncertain terms.. NO, PLEASE DO NOT GET THAT. (I don't get involved anymore, I just smile and be annoyed later).
The whole thing is frustrating to me because this is not what we're trying to teach our kids in terms of gift giving or needless waste. And they set the bar impossibly high. DD has already asked why we only got them each one present. I can guarantee no one in my family got them more than 1-2 presents - I don't know how they'll react to that now that they think it's normal to get 2983748234 gifts.
I tried pointing out the fact that we got them each something that they really wanted, that they were good quality, and that they would hopefully enjoy for a long time vs. a few minutes.
I know this is really more about me and my relationship with them than anything, but it's to a point that even DH is annoyed. After last year, he TOLD them that they are so far overboard that it sucks the joy out of Christmas for us (his words, not mine, and I would never have said anything to them, because it would fall on deaf ears) and they went even more overboard this year, blaming it on me. MIL said multiple times that "if she's going to be mad at me, I may as well make her really mad." Sooooooo... Merry Christmas.
Weekend was okay. We had to go buy a new fridge, now we just have to hope that this one holds out enough through next Saturday. It’s intermittently going out for now. So one day a week it will randomly stop working. Everything that didn’t defrost in the freezer the first 2 times it did that has been moved to basement freezer and the fridge stays cool enough to keep things okay in there. I’m excited about a French door fridge with new features and stuff, but I’m not thrilled with having to spend $2800.
This week is busy. Christmas Eve dinner at my parents’ tomorrow, Christmas dinner at my grandma’s. Pediatrician and orthodontist appointments for youngest on thursday and Friday. I am hoping they can tell us when they will put in the expander and what all the plan is to fix his jaw and teeth.
Post by traveltheworld on Dec 23, 2019 12:11:32 GMT -5
k3am, that is super annoying. We have the opposite problem. My ILs never get my children a gift. Every year, they ask the kids to pick a charity to donate to on their behalf. While the sentiment is very nice and thoughtful, it's very hard to ask a 3 year old to pick a charity - last year DD picked chickens (it was part of World Vision program where you can donate a bunch of chickens to a family in a developing country); but she totally didn't get it and kept asking for months afterwards when she is going to get her chicken and got sad every time we explained again that SHE is not the one getting the chickens.
What makes it worst is that we do Christmas gatherings with other relatives at our house and they get the other relatives' kids gifts. This year I might just be passive aggressive and direct my now 4 year old DD's questions on why her cousins are getting presents from grandma and grandpa, but she is not getting a present to my ILs and let them deal with it. LOL
traveltheworld, that is messed up that your kids are the only ones not getting gifts.
I get that gifts are some people's "love language" and I try not to get involved but that one would drive me nuts. Possibly even more nuts that my IL's. If it didn't involve the time and effort of shipping, I could send you a huge gift box of kazoos, whoopie cushions, finger rockets, sleeping bags, erector sets, etc. that my kids will never miss. Not that yoooooou want them.
Oh and my other Monday vent? My 4-5 week bathroom renovation is now almost 9 weeks in. I don't think they're ever going to show up and finish, especially with the holidays.
They are mostly done. They think they've got one day's worth of work left. In reality though, they need to redo all of the walls, ceiling, and trim.
I'm working all week other than Christmas day, ugh. DD is at the office with me and a teammate is picking her up for their 12:30 practices this week. At least DD is helping by stamping important tax document and putting on the return address labels to all the organizer envelopes.
k3am, ugh that is horrible. Can you just leave most of the crap at their house for when you visit? My sister bought all of DD's Christmas list which annoyed me to no end. My MIL sends DD the weirdest stuff, I wish she would just send a gift card.
186momx, they bagged it all up and had it waiting for us to load into the car. We only go to their house a few times a year, so it would all just sit there unused.
I may just start getting them really large awful gifts they have to keep around. Look, I got you this 16x20 framed photo of a ship since you love cruises! And just like that huge paint easel from Christmas 2018, if it's not out everytime I come over, I'm going to ask you about it. It would probably make me feel better.
On a side note, it really bothered MIL/FIL that we didn't have a microwave when we moved into our new house. We had planned on getting one, but they were so over the top about it and saying that if we didn't have one the next time they came, they'd buy us one, etc... I'm a petty bitch. I told them if they bought one, I'd return it and donate the money to the homeless. It's been 1.5 years and we don't have a microwave, largely due to how much it annoys them. It brings me joy every time they complain about it.
Post by covergirl82 on Dec 23, 2019 13:41:35 GMT -5
divanerd, so sorry to hear about your DS. I hope he continues to recover and feels better by Christmas!
k3am, that sounds awful and I'm sorry your ILs are so over-the-top, as well as disrespectful of your and YH's requests.
traveltheworld, while I am on board with helping others/giving to charity, it's not something younger kids understand, especially when it's their only "gift." But the fact that all of the other grandkids get an actual gift, is just plain mean on the part of your ILs. I agree that the grandparents should have to tell your kids why they are not getting a gift to open/enjoy.
Post by traveltheworld on Dec 23, 2019 13:50:17 GMT -5
covergirl82, my kids are the only grandkids. My ILs give presents to our cousins' kids, kids in my SIL's family, etc. My ILs are very new-agey, and believe that we should instill our core values (i.e. charitable giving) in our own kids, but they think/know that that no gifts is generally not socially acceptable for other people's kids, hence other people's kids get real gifts.
My ILs do all types of weird things when it comes to gifts and money. They live frugally, and they nickle and dime us too - like if I ask them to buy milk while they are staying with us, they'd ask me for the money back. But then they give extremely generously to charity. It's very odd. I try to ignore it as much as I can.
DD1 seems to be on the upswing after being sick all night. While I haven't been sick, my stomach has felt unsettled all day and I'm exhausted. I've lost all motivation to clean the house and feel super stir crazy.
Since they couldn't go to daycare due to illness today, we've binged Christmas movies and barely moved all day. ExH's GF is coming to pick them up soon to buy me some wrapping time since ExH doenst get out of work til 7. So that will be... fun. Our interactions are still few and far between. And never without him also there to buffer. Merry Christmas to me!
Solidarity on weird in law gifts. Ex MIL always buys something super random that she thinks is the best ever and wants them to play with immediately. Spoiler alert: it's not usually the best thing ever. Then Ex FIL goes rogue and buys something else that costs a small fortune. So glad that's not my problem anymore.
My parents historically go nuts with gifts. I think I got them under control this year. Since FIL passed away a few years ago, MIL does not Christmas. No decorations, no celebrating, no gifts. I mean, I get her stuff, but she doesn’t shop anymore. She sends us one big check. The kids are so overwhelmed that they don’t even notice.
We are hosting my family, 14 people total. All shopping is done, wrapping is done. I have to do santa gift tags and put gift cards and cash gifts (teenage nieces and nephews). Table linens are done, veggies chopped. We are making cookies to leave out for Santa shortly (dough is chilling, I’m waiting for DH at a store right now and we will make them when I get back). Tomorrow will be more food prep - appetizers, soak potatoes to cook and mash, assemble cookie trays, then leave for Mass at 3.
We did Christmas at the inlaws this weekend.. and.. I'm really frustrated. They always go so far overboard. There were more presents under the tree just for the kids than all of the presents they well get from us, Santa, stockings at two houses AND my family combined. Each kid does NOT need 20+ gifts. Some of them are on the pricey side, some were dollar store quality (a few have already broken and been thrown away.) A lot were things that they weren't even buying with my kids in mind thinking they'd like them (DD does NOT like chocolate, has never liked chocolate, but got multiple chocolates.. DS is 3.5, he does not need toys aimed at ages 8+). Some of them are things that they asked if we wanted them to get from the kids and DH told them in no uncertain terms.. NO, PLEASE DO NOT GET THAT. (I don't get involved anymore, I just smile and be annoyed later).
The whole thing is frustrating to me because this is not what we're trying to teach our kids in terms of gift giving or needless waste. And they set the bar impossibly high. DD has already asked why we only got them each one present. I can guarantee no one in my family got them more than 1-2 presents - I don't know how they'll react to that now that they think it's normal to get 2983748234 gifts.
I tried pointing out the fact that we got them each something that they really wanted, that they were good quality, and that they would hopefully enjoy for a long time vs. a few minutes.
I know this is really more about me and my relationship with them than anything, but it's to a point that even DH is annoyed. After last year, he TOLD them that they are so far overboard that it sucks the joy out of Christmas for us (his words, not mine, and I would never have said anything to them, because it would fall on deaf ears) and they went even more overboard this year, blaming it on me. MIL said multiple times that "if she's going to be mad at me, I may as well make her really mad." Sooooooo... Merry Christmas.
If I caught wind that my family or hs family thought that was that appropriate response then there would be no more Christmas at their house. I don't play that game
I woke up feeling like crap. I really hope I'm not getting sick. Went to work this morning for half a day and now I'm off until next Tuesday. So excited.
So for the entire Christmas season, DH has had 2 responsibilities. 1. Pick up the kids’ bikes, because they didn’t fit in my car and I don’t have a trailer hitch for our bike rack; and 2. Buy all the wine and beer for Christmas Day.
For #1, I had to hold his hand the whole way. No dear, you can’t pick up the bikes while the children are home from school. Because then they will see them when you bring them inside, dear. No you should really not pick them up when DD1 and I are next door at her pediatrician appointment. We worked through it.
For #2, I gave him a very specific list, because my sister has some weird fruit allergies, and if she drinks wine that isn’t safe, her throat gets itchy and her asthma flares. So I gave him the list, and I waited. And waited. And waited. And he finally went to the store today... AND THE WINE IS SOLD OUT. And he has tossed up his hands like “Oh well! What are ya gonna do?” GO TO ANOTHER F-ING STORE THATS WHAT!!
We are in the final half hour of our cross country flight and DS2 has finally decided to take a little nap - thank goodness. I’m so not looking forward to doing this without DH on the way back - though maybe jt will be less stressful, since I care way less than he does about what everyone else thinks. He stresses me out by correcting the kids every two seconds whenever we’re in public, even though they’re just acting like normal kids.
We only spend like every third Christmas with family so I have no idea how many gifts to get anyone. Hopefully we didn’t over or under buy by a huge amount. Even after shipping a lot of gifts to my parents’ house, I still had to sit on all four of our suitcases to get them to shut. One was 50.5 pounds but the airline agent let it slide.
I just sent texts confirming the time for my family Christmas celebration/dinner. I said for everyone to come at 2 for appetizers and drinks, then an early dinner around 430. This is considering that my 70-something parents have a 35 minute drive home on dark and windy roads.
Two of 3 recipients said “Perfect! Sounds great!” The third said “oh that’s much too early for us. We will try to be there by 430.” Oh! Really? You’ll try? Well, dinner is at 430. Hope it’s not cold when you meander in!
ETA: there are no extenuating circumstances with Family 3. They have 4 kids, ranging in age from 19 to 12. It’s simply that the teenagers won’t get up and the parents won’t make them.
Whelp, DH just told his mom we bought tickets to take her to see the Nutcracker the day after Christmas. DD yelled at him in the most hilarious way because we keep lecturing her about how presents are secret so not to tell us what she got us. “DAD!!! That was her PRESENT!!! It’s a SURPRISE!! You don’t TELL!!”
So, there goes that. She doesn’t know they’re box seats. And she has bronchitis, so she may not want to go anyway.