We had DS’s appointment to get his results today. His IQ is on the gifted end. He’s well within normal limits on everything. The thing she thinks is the issue is he obviously has a stereotypic motor disorder. So he has this episode of movement that he can control but feels to his body like a blink. Almost impossible to stop. It goes on for some seconds, and then stops. But then he has to recover what he’s doing, which slows down his processing speed.
This is often seen in kids on the autism spectrum. At home and during the test, he shows zero symptoms of being on the spectrum. His teacher filled out her forms and saw significant issues, but the psychologist thinks it’s all related back to his movement disorder. Good news is there’s only one problem we are looking at. Bad news is that there is absolutely nothing they can do to help him right now, other than give him accommodations like extra time to do work. Behavioral therapy can eventually help, but not until he’s at least 7.
So we are relieved. Next step is to see if his pediatrician recommends seeing a neurologist at his next check up, but she said she sees no evidence this has anything underlying it.
Couple of things-first I think this is great news.
Second-I feel like I’ve had Tic conversations with you but I may be thinking of someone else. Chronic motor tic disorders are super common. 20% of kids have tics and especially motor tics. 1/3 of those completely disappear, 1/3 significantly reduce by puberty.
Can I ask you what problems the actual motor tics have caused?
When you answer, answer not how they are a problem for you...But for your son? Is he on grade level?
I have watched you call the tics problematic for so long. Are they more of a problem for you than for him? I just see a lot of “all or nothing” language in a lot of your posts.
Also...where did the jump go ASD come from? From you or the psychologist? Did she delineate chronic motor tics from stereotypies or was this part of the referral question?
Back to tics-I also happen to me a mom to a child who went from transient motor tic disorder to chronic motor tic disorder to now Tourette’s-if you want to get technical bc her tics now encompass verbal and vocal tics. Those started w throat clearing and have come to morph into honestly echolalia unfortunately.
But Honestly? She’s ok!! I’m ok! We are all ok! They stared in K. She’s in 3rd now. As the nature of tics go, they wax and wane. They morph into different stuff and then they come back.
But I don’t really see them as “a problem that needs to be fixed.” I would be exhausted if I viewed this as something that needed to be eliminated. The more attention is brought to it, the more problematic it is to the child.
She differentiated between tics and motor stereotypies. He has a primary motor stereotypic movement disorder. So not a tic, though we call it that because it’s significantly easier to say than “motor stereotypic movement” lol. And she brought up ASD because I guess the differential is if you’re seeing hand-flapping and facial grimacing, especially in boys, you screen for ASD. We have ASD in my family, so I’ve always been hyper-sensitive to that possibility, and I’d ruled it out. Her testing ruled it out as well. He’s well within standard and doesn’t show any other ASD behaviors.
It is causing issues for him in that he has problems finishing his work because when he’s excited or proud or concentrating, he does it A LOT. So his teacher is writing on the overhead projector and he loses 15 seconds to the movement, then needs another few seconds to figure out what’s going on. He’s then missed 2-3 things and can’t figure out where he needs to be on his paper. Luckily, he’s really smart, so he’s doing okay. He’s generally at or ahead of average on everything except processing speed. And again, it’s hard to test his processing speed because it’s affected by the movements.
Also, during a tic (I’m going to just type tic because it’s shorter), he isn’t processing outside stimulus much at all. So if he’s having a tic and his teacher says “go get your book out of your cubby,” he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. He sees the other kids going to their cubbies, but if he stops watching them for cues, he may put on his backpack and go stand by the door because he’s assuming that’s what was said. Which is why his teacher thought he had a sensory processing disorder, which we have now definitively ruled out.
So this really is great news. I’m mostly happy that she’s going to recommend ways his teacher can accommodate him. He was getting frustrated because he can’t finish work as quickly and sometimes is stuck working when other kids finish and get to go play. She’s going to recommend letting him stop once he’s shown mastery, even if that means half the worksheet is left undone. I do worry that socially this is going to affect him in time (the stereotypic movement is significant and prolonged), but for now it’s not a biggie. And if he’s bothered by it, we can do behavior therapy to deal with it.
Yes that’s a great outcome. He’s K, is that right? I haven’t found kids to be too concerned about differences at this age, but it’s something I’d make sure all coaches, swim instructor, karate etc is aware of and here’s why...there were only two times someone made my kid feel bad about her movements and one was a dance teacher who said “what’s that weird thing you’re doing with your face?”
So when we go to camps or new teachers each year or whatever, I tell the adult matter of fact-she has a movement disorder, her tics look like this xyz, please don’t point them out or mention them and if you hear kids talking about it, just sort of deflect them on and they will get over it.
My TWERK: Beau and I are introducing all the kids to each other on a play date this weekend. So, shit's getting real. His son is about a year younger than my girls so it should go well and they should get along. My kids are not shy and will hang out with anyone, so I think they'll be fine. We're meeting up at a play place so that it's neutral ground and we can keep it casual. But I'm still so, so nervous. Not because of beau, but because it's going to be so drastically different from the "dating" that they've seen their dad do. Questions have included things like "Wait, you date a stranger? It's not someone we will already know? Does that mean they start living with us now?" UGH.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jan 3, 2020 10:07:29 GMT -5
twinmomma, your modeling how people take things slow which is normal vs how he does it which is abnormal. So...hooray? This sounds like wonderful news!
mommyatty,knowing is so much of the battle. I'm glad you were able to get such great information!
Post by librarychica on Jan 3, 2020 10:42:14 GMT -5
We are back from our Vermont trip! It went well aside from a few family vacation type bumps. The girls loved the snow, everyone mostly got along, I have so many maple products now. It was mostly relaxing and peaceful. We were driving home from the airport last night and I turned to my husband and said “has Florida always had too many people in it?”
I have signed my kids up for a couple weeks of summer camp (local science museum has a members only sale this month) and I cannot believe my oldest will be in third grade. Thirds grade seems so big!
Monday I go back to work. I’m bracing myself to check my work email tonight. 😞
I've booked our spring Vegas trip. I've never been so I am pretty excited. Now I just need to get my mom and brothers to nail down a date for our family trip to the Smokey Mountains.
DH starts his first on campus college class this semester. His previous class was through the high school, so this seems like a big deal to me anyway. He's just thrilled that it is a Tuesday/Thursday class, so he can sleep later the rest of the week.
I've finally hired someone for the open position. It's an old partner, so I am pretty confident he will do well. I just need to set everything up so he can start and have all the things he needs to learn the job on the 13th.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jan 3, 2020 12:36:37 GMT -5
twinmomma, no, I don't think I posted an update. Thanks for asking.
It went well. I have since stayed at his house a couple more times. It was a little awkward being that it was his late wife's mom. The first night, everyone was going to bed and she asked if they would see me in the morning for breakfast. The second night, we were saying goodnight and she told me she loved me. That was weird and I didn't respond. I could tell that she and her husband (beau's uncle/dad's brother) were happy to see beau happy around me. When they left, they invited me to join beau and his family when they go visit them and to go clam digging.
Annual review went well and my comp went up more than I expected. We discussed a couple "areas for development" for the coming year - the feedback was that my clients love working with me but that I could improve leadership of our internal teams. I don't manage anyone but rely on a variety of people to help me serve my clients and some of those people offered feedback for improvement. So I'll make it a goal. There's always a push/pull of making clients happy without making my teams do more work than they want to.
My boss/our co-CEO clearly has no idea I'm pregnant, despite me having gained 10+ pounds recently. I hope he's chill about it when I tell him (assuming anatomy scan looks good later today, I'll do it next week).
Post by covergirl82 on Jan 3, 2020 13:34:54 GMT -5
Still haven't heard anything on the two jobs for which I applied and had phone interviews. I'm hoping to hear something next week after the holiday weeks are over.
My dad gave me an update on my aunt today. Apparently her oncologist feels she is still a candidate for trying another type of chemo, so she started that today.
Post by librarychica on Jan 3, 2020 13:44:14 GMT -5
H is traveling for one week in January and 2.5 weeks in February, including weekends. The January week works out pretty well as I have two days off that week but February is set to be a mess so I’ve decided to hire someone to work 3 11.5 hour days those weeks. Because of my work schedule I need someone to cover drop off and pickup but aside from the 7-8:30 hours and 3-5:30 hours they’ll be with one or two kids I don’t know what to ask them to do during the day. Walk the dog and a load of kid laundry, I guess. But otherwise my house doesn’t really require that much running. H wants it to be a permanent arrangement because his travel has been so unpredictable and we have been relying heavily on my parents but idk.
librarychica I would come up with a list of other tasks I'd been putting off - sort kids clothes sizes, return something to store, food shop and chop veggies, stuff like that? Do you need to have windows washed or dryer vent cleaned or anything serviced? The person could be there to meet those service people.
Post by librarychica on Jan 3, 2020 15:59:30 GMT -5
Oh! I logged into my work email for the first time since Dec 23 and I have so many emails! But one says I was accepted to a 9 month intensive leadership training program with my company. Yay! I also have a session at a big professional conference in June this year. I am going to have so much extracurricular work activities in my plate.
I am excited but also tired just thinking about it all.
librarychica I would come up with a list of other tasks I'd been putting off - sort kids clothes sizes, return something to store, food shop and chop veggies, stuff like that? Do you need to have windows washed or dryer vent cleaned or anything serviced? The person could be there to meet those service people.
I wish my DH would suggest something like this
I am lucky that he supports my career, which isn’t very flexible (though becoming more so) and this is a big year for me. Most of his friends and professional associates have big tech type jobs and stay at home husbands or wives. In a way, that would make it easier on him if I stopped working but OTOH he acknowledges that he couldn’t have taken many risks and started his own business as the sole earner, so he is on board with most whatever I need to keep life running smoothly when he’s traveling or extra busy.
librarychica I would come up with a list of other tasks I'd been putting off - sort kids clothes sizes, return something to store, food shop and chop veggies, stuff like that? Do you need to have windows washed or dryer vent cleaned or anything serviced? The person could be there to meet those service people.
I wish my DH would suggest something like this
I am lucky that he supports my career, which isn’t very flexible (though becoming more so) and this is a big year for me. Most of his friends and professional associates have big tech type jobs and stay at home husbands or wives. In a way, that would make it easier on him if I stopped working but OTOH he acknowledges that he couldn’t have taken many risks and started his own business as the sole earner, so he is on board with most whatever I need to keep life running smoothly when he’s traveling or extra busy.
My DH is similarly supportive of my career, but super frugal and hates hiring people for convenience purposes - direct childcare is an exception. But I wish he was up for hiring out more household stuff!
librarychica I would come up with a list of other tasks I'd been putting off - sort kids clothes sizes, return something to store, food shop and chop veggies, stuff like that? Do you need to have windows washed or dryer vent cleaned or anything serviced? The person could be there to meet those service people.
I wish my DH would suggest something like this
I am lucky that he supports my career, which isn’t very flexible (though becoming more so) and this is a big year for me. Most of his friends and professional associates have big tech type jobs and stay at home husbands or wives. In a way, that would make it easier on him if I stopped working but OTOH he acknowledges that he couldn’t have taken many risks and started his own business as the sole earner, so he is on board with most whatever I need to keep life running smoothly when he’s traveling or extra busy.
I think this is the same thing that goes through our heads. Life would be easier if I just stayed home but the stress of him being the sole provider with a career that has been up and down is too much.
He, honestly when he is here, does 50% of the work, but those weird days when I might need someone to pick up the kids is still sort of that last sticking point.