I don't know if any one remembers, but I posted a while back about a weird growth my dog had next to her eye. I took her to the Vet last night for another issue and was going to ask about the bump. The appointment ended up getting a bit stressful, so I forgot to ask about the bump. Later last night, I noticed the bump was gone. I looked at a picture from the vets office when we first got there, and no bump. I have no idea what happened or when it fell off, but cool, I guess.
We are never going to get out of debt. We make a decent salary but are so far in the hole. If I tell my H what our actual total debt is, I think he might stroke out. We were starting to make headway, but ended up needing to buy him a new truck which sunk us further. The old truck just wasn't worth it to fix anymore. The good thing is, he'll keep this new truck for 15-20 years, the bad thing is, it's going to take us years to pay it off. I just did a debt calculator, and if we make no changes, we can have everything paid off in just over 3 years except our mortgage, maybe sooner depending on raises and bonuses, but that just seems like forever away. I hate money. I love having it, but since we don't actually have it, it stresses me out. We could pay it off sooner if we lived like paupers, but I haven't been able to convince H and quite frankly, I don't know if I'd want to.
Post by ChillyMcFreeze on Jan 14, 2020 9:28:51 GMT -5
@sameoldstory 3 years sounds really good. I seriously can't imagine being debt-free (minus the mortgage), so the fact that you even have a timeline is enviable! I'm also of the opinion that the world is literally on fire so there's no real point in saving/paying down debt, BUT I think that's maybe the wrong attitude to have lol.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Jan 14, 2020 9:31:05 GMT -5
It’s H & my 13th anniversary today. Honestly we’re not doing much. we’re broke because were moving in a week to a place that’s much more expensive and I don’t have any money for a babysitter.
I can’t ask my mom for anything because she holds it over me like a big old debt. Over Christmas break she volunteered to take the kids for the day. I mentioned that it would be especially helpful because I had work to get done. I then opted instead of office work to do household chores that I fell so far behind on. When my mom came home she scolded me for doing housework and not office work while she had the kids. First of all she volunteered to take the damn kids so if I wanted to do nothing but nap what difference did it make to her. Second of all this is exactly how my mother rolls and why I can’t ever ask her for anything she is so judge mental with every single thing I do it’s infuriating.
Aaaaanyway: H and I are probably going to do at least a nice lunch at a place the kids hate, so we will commemorate the day a little bit and then I can field questions from my mother about “why didn’t you ask me to watch the kids so you could go on a date “
Honestly things like birthdays and anniversaries are just depressing to me because it just drives at home that I have absolutely no help and no way out and no way to take a break ever until the kids are adults and it’s depressing.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Leeham Rimes, Happy Anniversary and try and enjoy your lunch. I'm sorry your mom sucks. It is mentally exhausting not to get a break.
@sameoldstory, I think it's impressive you have a plan. Everyone has debt these days, it's just part of being an adult it seems. Lately I'm more like ChillyMcFreeze, and just taking it day by day. The world may end tomorrow, who the fuck knows.
It’s raining here. I got ds3 and I out to do a grocery store run and it started raining hard so I am sitting in the parking lot trying to figure out what to do. It’s slackened off now but I’m not sure we have time to get inside and get what I need, run home to put away fresh stuff and then get to library story time. Sigh. Definite first world problems. I need a good rain jacket. Umbrellas just end up being a pain.
Thanks for the pep talk! I was just doing the numbers this morning and seeing 6 figures in debt freaked me out, and that doesn't include our mortgage! I would love to do a Dave Ramsey debt payoff strategy, but that's just so stressful. We do have $1k in our emergency fund, but I fully plan on continuing to add to that while we are paying off debt. If all goes well, I should have that eFund up to over $8K by the time we are debt free, plus we do cash for Vacation and Christmas, and I'm not willing to give those things up while paying down debt. I'm also throwing money in to an account for a car emergency fund because my car just hit 130k, no issues currently, but I need to drive it for at least 2 more years until it's paid off, preferably 3 years when we'll then give it to our girls who will be 16 and I can get something new. I feel better putting money aside for car repairs on top of an eFund. It all makes sense in my head, and heck, even on paper, but the truth is, one of us loses our job or gets sick or hurt, we're gonna be in a bad place financially, worse than we are now. And don't even get me started on retirement. I'm going to go cry in a corner right now.
I can’t ask my mom for anything because she holds it over me like a big old debt.
Ugh. That’s so annoying. My MIL is the same way. I also have to profusely thank her for anything helpful she does or she gets offended and complains to DH (I would thank her no matter what, but she really prefers you to go over the top with your gratitude. Lol. It’s so ridiculous sometimes). I pretty much refuse to ask for her help ever.
It’s just so different from how my mom was. I remember a few times when my mom watched the kids so I could get stuff done, but when I picked them up, I admitted that while my intention was to be productive, I actually got lazy and watched a movie or took a nap. My mom would always say that I deserved the break and she was happy to give me some time to myself, no matter what I did with it.
I have my first therapy appointment today to start dealing with issues with my mom. I'm a little nervous. I've read threads on here in the past so I have an idea of what to expect, but man, I'm not looking forward to the work that I know is ahead of me. But I *am* looking forward to the end result. I've known for years that I've needed counseling but wasn't ready to take that step. The stuff with my parents' dog and my nephew, though, has given me the courage to make changes.
2 hour late start for school today. I wish it was just closed. It’s sooo icy and cold out. Also, I just want to stay home! Dh’s district is closed for the second day in a row.
@sameoldstory , you can do it! I do encourage you to be honest with your DH about the state of your finances, though - maybe knowing the truth will motivate him to make some changes/sacrifices that he's been unwilling to make in the past. We paid off $63,000 in 16 months using Dave Ramsey's plan, so I know it can be done!
@sameoldstory H and I are really behind in retirement too. Basically we'll be working forever (and I currently SAH because childcare in my area is the same amount I made per month). So extra forever for me. *sigh*
Leeham Rimes I hear you on childcare for kids. We have no local family so we sometimes trade with friends (who are also busy with lives) and sometimes pay a 16 yr old (who is also busy with her life) to babysit. It's hard to make dates/nights out happen. And forget an overnight or weekend+ away. We've done a night away once since DS was born 3.5 years ago and only because my parents traveled to us so we could make that happen.
lust2hart I'm definitely going to be honest, I just need to figure out how to start the conversation. I have everything in spreadsheets which really works for me, but it translate well for him and he gets really overwhelmed. He tends to focus on the wrong things (total debt, crazy interest, etc) instead of the amazing timeline that I've come up with to pay off debt without overly affecting our current way of living. We're both at fault for getting her, he overspends, and I swipe my credit card too much. I just need to figure out a way to have us both be accountable so that we can get on the same page with all of this. For example, he just bought a new truck and now he wants to get all of these extras for it. Nothing is crazy expensive, a few hundred here and there, but it adds up. I try to tell him that we don't have the money for it and he gets all butt hurt. I need to find a way to show him how spending $500 now on something not needed will affect our overall debt payoff. I think he might react better to a chart or something, seeing the real numbers overwhelms him, I just need to figure out how to do that.
We finally picked the vacation destination and it was one of my top choices for the last several years. Now we are in the process of planning and buying tickets. We are going to Costa Rica (specifically the Manuel Antonio area) I am super excited about this. Now I need to find a good house that will cater to us all.
Post by litskispeciality on Jan 14, 2020 11:14:55 GMT -5
I stayed home from work yesterday because I didn't feel good. Because I'm it 3.5 months on the job I felt guilty enough to go in today. My coworker sent me to the on site nurse who said I have a temp of 100, so I'm back home again. I feel bad missing 2 days as a new employee, during an extra busy time, but I think low frade fever and body aches is scary enough to keep me away.
I was talking to someone last night who convinced me to file for delegate to the Democratic National Convention for Warren. It's probably unlikely I'd get to go, but man, it would be so cool.
Leeham Rimes, Happy Anniversary! And I want to give you a big hug. If I lived near you, I would happily babysit.
I just worked out, will get lunch soon and then therapy. I have been feeling angry, in general, lately so this should be interesting.
Also, some person on a FB that is about growing up in Arlington always posts about the crash and all these people going on and on about the traffic is making me more angry, even if that is not rational. Also, a number of people said no one survived, which is not true, and put it all on the de-icing when it was really so much human error in addition to the de-icing issue. It is annoying me too.
So I guess I am just annoyed today. And it is gray and blah out.
I was talking to someone last night who convinced me to file for delegate to the Democratic National Convention for Warren. It's probably unlikely I'd get to go, but man, it would be so cool.
Good luck!! My dad was a delegate for Kerry in 2004, so we all spent the week in Boston. I was 16 and it was awesome.
Funny story, each night of the convention there's a lottery for guests to get tickets. My mom and I won the lottery for the last night, but our seats were awful (behind the stage and basically at eye-line with the balloon drop), so we left halfway through, got lobster rolls, and watched the rest in our pajamas from the hotel. That was the night the world was introduced to Barack Obama. We still kick ourselves over that!
Post by Monica Geller on Jan 14, 2020 11:40:06 GMT -5
Leeham Rimes Happy Anniversary!! I hope your lunch is amazing.
28 weeks today! No changes for me so we keep on with the hospital bed rest. I did my glucose/ diabetes test this morning and got a tdap booster so I feel a bit like a pincushion.
My friend from hs younger brother is constantly messaging me on FB. I just ignore him but he keeps sending me messages. I think he has had some mental and physical health challenges this year so I feel bad for him but its starting to really annoy/creep me out. He also loves Trump and guns so I have him hidden on my FB anyways. ugh
Post by followyourarrow on Jan 14, 2020 12:34:00 GMT -5
Happy anniversary Leeham Rimes! I wish I lived closer so I could take the boys for the evening.
I'm looking at my debt too, ugh. I need to plan out my budget for this year so I can make better progress. I did just sign up for a 7 day cruise though.
I'm looking at my debt too, ugh. I need to plan out my budget for this year so I can make better progress. I did just sign up for a 7 day cruise though.
Yup! I just complained here about money and then spent an hour pricing out summer vacations. Clearly I have my priorities in order LOL
I'm sorry Leeham Rimes, that's tough. I wish I lived closer so that I could help out.
Great news so far Monica Geller, fingers crossed that baby keeps cooking! Anecdote: my water broke at 32 weeks with DS2. They stopped my labor and put me on bed rest and he ended up staying put until 39w4d.
I just had a consult for invisalign. I switched to a new dentist about a year ago, and have not been all that impressed, but I saw the same (90 year old??) dentist every time, and thought maybe he was the problem.
I did my consult with the main dentist, and he was... interesting. Gave me basically no information, didn't really look that closely at my teeth or talk about whether I'm a good candidate, etc. Basically just said "yeah, we'll take the impressions, and send them off to get you started." I was expected at least a basic overview of what to expect, what makes a good candidate, things I should be concerned about, etc. I think he was in the room 1-2 minutes total.
Honestly, though.... I'll probably do it anyway. I do think that my case is pretty straightforward, and I care mostly about looks, not about having a perfect bite. This guy's price is good and his office is very convenient, so... I think I might take my chances.
jinkies, you say dentist. Maybe you should get a consult from an Orthodontist? I'm always leery of dentists that also try to do ortho work or major oral surgeries.
jinkies, I'd highly recommend having a consult with an Orthodontist, I would really trust the opinion of a dentist on something like this personally. I'd trust them enough to say "hey, you need treatment" but not handle the actual treatment itself. Orthodontia is a whole different ball game than regular dentistry and requires specialized training.
Second day at school for E and back to work for me. I have to say, being away from the office for a solid 3 weeks between the holidays and work travel was nice. I need to figure out a side hustle so I can quit (not really, but would be nice).
We finally got our own wheelchair for E. We've been borrowing the school's thankfully.
Also, SO SO thankful for my mom. She's going to do all of the drop-off and pick-ups for at least 2 weeks until we figure out if she can go back to before/after care. I'm more worried about mornings than anything b/c of needing bathroom help.
Just taking it one day at a time. I'm hoping she figures out scooting down the steps this weekend. I'm afraid of my mom trying to carry her. This week I've adjusted my schedule so I can carry her, but even for me, it's hard b/c I'm short and she's tall. Thankfully she's barely 49lbs soaking wet.
Oh another one. It took me no less than 3 emails to starbucks for them to credit my account right. My purchases weren't crediting, so my bonus points didn't get credited. Then they credited the bonus points, but not the transactions themselves. It was over 100 points!