DH is getting wet feet about spending a lot of money on our 10 year anniversary trip. It is hard to find something that feels special without being too expensive.
Post by wanderingback on Jan 14, 2020 14:17:16 GMT -5
I’m in the airport lounge, flying to another city for a meeting tomorrow.
I’ve been doing well about drinking only once a week. I decided to get champagne, which I very rarely order. I feel like champagne is for celebrating and I decided that life and health are worth celebrating. Cheers!
DH is getting wet feet about spending a lot of money on our 10 year anniversary trip. It is hard to find something that feels special without being too expensive.
What are some places you were looking at? How about something US-based that isn't necessarily kid friendly/centered?
Post by simpsongal on Jan 14, 2020 14:30:26 GMT -5
I'm getting so anxious waiting for bathroom quotes. It's been 2 weeks for one place...c'mon! I hate the 'hurry up and wait' that comes with home projects.
Sometimes I hate being a boss. I hate having to be the bad buy - just communicate with me. If you need to leave early or work from home or whatever just tell me. Don't come late and leave early and think people won't notice.
DH is getting wet feet about spending a lot of money on our 10 year anniversary trip. It is hard to find something that feels special without being too expensive.
Nope just do it! Spending a bit more money won't mean anything in the long run. The time together is so important.
DH is getting wet feet about spending a lot of money on our 10 year anniversary trip. It is hard to find something that feels special without being too expensive.
What are some places you were looking at? How about something US-based that isn't necessarily kid friendly/centered?
I really wanted to do a long weekend at an AI in Mexico (since it’s an affordable trip from TX) but DH won’t go there. He wants to do an AI so we don’t have to think about food/drink budget even we are there.
My anxiety is high today. Last night, one of our hardwired smoke detectors started chirping at 3am. Our detectors are so annoying because if you mess with one of them, sometimes other ones in the house go off because they're all connected, so we didn't really want to mess with replacing the batteries and stuff while my 3.5 year old was sleeping. So I shoved some earplugs in and turned up the white noise and tried to go back to sleep, but it took HOURS. Of course the damn thing stopped chirping this morning then. Now I know I'm going to be anxious tonight worrying that it will happen again. My mental health really goes south when I can't sleep.
I'm supposed to go on a girls trip to Frederick MD this weekend (which if anyone has any restaurant recs please feel free to share!) I am irrationally anxious that I will get sick before it's time to go. We were around BIL/SIL and in-laws on Sunday for family pictures, and my MIL has a cold and my youngest nephew has a stomach thing and a cold now. I'm feeling good and DS seems fine, but I know it could all change before the weekend. Does anyone else have ridiculous anxiety about stuff like this? I'm just really looking forward to getting away and don't want anything to keep me from that. Blah.
What are some places you were looking at? How about something US-based that isn't necessarily kid friendly/centered?
I really wanted to do a long weekend at an AI in Mexico (since it’s an affordable trip from TX) but DH won’t go there. He wants to do an AI so we don’t have to think about food/drink budget even we are there.
It's the second day of classes and it's weird trying to get back into a routine. This first week is always hard because there's not much to do in the down time, yet. And my routine is going to be all messed up this semester with two night classes. I'm usually in bed by 9pm and I have class Tue & Wed from 7pm - 9:45pm. :::sob:::
I really wanted to do a long weekend at an AI in Mexico (since it’s an affordable trip from TX) but DH won’t go there. He wants to do an AI so we don’t have to think about food/drink budget even we are there.
Maybe Key West ?
What about Belize? It's a quick trip from TX
I hadn’t thought of Belize but have looked at Costa Rica. Even though it’s not a super long flight, in my mind going to South America feels too far for a long weekend.
I hadn’t thought of Belize but have looked at Costa Rica. Even though it’s not a super long flight, in my mind going to South America feels too far for a long weekend.
Belize is Central America. Does that make it sound closer?
Post by sineadorebellion on Jan 14, 2020 17:33:43 GMT -5
I don't understand how my not yet expired ID is not identification enough to renew but okay to fly with. I have to bring a copy of my birth certificate back with me to prove my identity now lol.
I hadn’t thought of Belize but have looked at Costa Rica. Even though it’s not a super long flight, in my mind going to South America feels too far for a long weekend.
Belize is Central America. Does that make it sound closer?
I highly recommend the JW Marriott Cancun. They have a Club 91 option that includes some meals/drinks but isn't a full all inclusive. We left DFW on a 9:05 flight and were by the pool with drink in hand at 1:30. We went few times last year with and without kids and it was great each time.
Roatan is also an easy tropical trip from DFW. I think United still flies direct Houston. We have done Belize and love it, but I dislike the small planes to the Ambergis Caye but the water taxi takes so long.
I hadn’t thought of Belize but have looked at Costa Rica. Even though it’s not a super long flight, in my mind going to South America feels too far for a long weekend.
Belize and Costa Rica are both in Central America so def aren’t that far from TX.
I don't understand how my not yet expired ID is not identification enough to renew but okay to fly with. I have to bring a copy of my birth certificate back with me to prove my identity now lol.
Is it a renewal or do you need a new license that complies with REAL ID act? (The act won’t affect travel until October 2020). Last time I wanted to renew they said I couldn’t bc I hadn’t upgraded to the new ID. I had to bring in quite a bit of paperwork.
If it’s just a renewal, there was something I needed to renew—my PI license I think and I couldn’t use that to prove my identity. I had to use another form of ID. I’m sure there’s a reason but I never asked.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I hadn’t thought of Belize but have looked at Costa Rica. Even though it’s not a super long flight, in my mind going to South America feels too far for a long weekend.
Belize and Costa Rica are both in Central America so def aren’t that far from TX.
I’m embarrassed by my lack of geography knowledge!
Post by Leeham Rimes on Jan 14, 2020 19:28:51 GMT -5
There’s a dog food ad that keeps popping up on my FB, I was curious so I clicked on it. They are selling customized dog food and they wanted $65 A WEEK for one dog bc dogs shouldn’t eat “burnt brown balls” (loooool)
Sorry dog, I don’t love you anywhere near enough to spend almost $300 a month. Especially when he’s totally content to eat the litter box contents 🤢 he’s not exactly a refined dog.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I don't understand how my not yet expired ID is not identification enough to renew but okay to fly with. I have to bring a copy of my birth certificate back with me to prove my identity now lol.
Is it a renewal or do you need a new license that complies with REAL ID act? (The act won’t affect travel until October 2020). Last time I wanted to renew they said I couldn’t bc I hadn’t upgraded to the new ID. I had to bring in quite a bit of paperwork.
If it’s just a renewal, there was something I needed to renew—my PI license I think and I couldn’t use that to prove my identity. I had to use another form of ID. I’m sure there’s a reason but I never asked.
Yeah it's my birthday so my license expires tomorrow but when I went to renew it and change my info (because I got married and moved recently too) they told me I needed a passport or birth certificate to do so. I just didn't realize they were going to need all that, I had checked in online before. So I gotta go back tomorrow morning but hopefully I can get it done quickly.
@sameoldstory, let me know if you want a YNAB referral code. I promise it is life changing if you’re serious about wanting to live within your means and pay down debt.
Also, I’ve heard good things about undebt.it. That may be a good tool to play with the debt payoff numbers so he can see what a huge difference $500 a month is, or even $100 of unnecessary purchases.
I hadn’t thought of Belize but have looked at Costa Rica. Even though it’s not a super long flight, in my mind going to South America feels too far for a long weekend.
Belize is MUCH closer than CR. We went to ambergris key 2 years ago and key west last year. Both were fun! Belize is crazy cheap. Just be aware that we did have to fly to/from Belize city on the mainland to the key. I don’t know if there are other options, DH’s company took us and arranged it all. Key west was really fun, too. We stayed in old town. We took a food tour, did some sightseeing, took a boat out for the day. There are some great restaurants there.
Eta: Belize was under 2 hours from IAH to Belize city. I think Costa Rica was closer to 4? The resorts are better in Mexico, IMO. Have you looked at Cabo? We had a good time there, just don’t pick a spring break type of place. We went to a farm (Flores farms, i think?) for a cooking class and lunch. It ended up being everyone’s favorite thing we did.
I feel like 2020 is starting off so well for us. 2019 was pretty crappy and it's so nice to be enjoying things again. With my new job I have 4.5 days of vacation I need to take before 3/31 or I lose it. Just starting today I hit my 90 day mark so I can start taking that time. It works out, if I get approved, that DS has 4 days off school between now and March 31st, so hopefully I'll be able to be off with him every time. I might finally get to go visit my grandmother for the first time in forever! Maybe lol. And I was approved for vacation during DS's spring break, something that has never worked out before because of so many other people needing the same time off and beating me to it. So for spring break we are renting an ocean front house at the Outer Banks. It'll be too cold to swim, but honestly the past couple of years that we've gone the wind was blowing the wrong way and the water was freezing so this won't be anything new lol. And literally the deck off of the master bedroom has steps down to the sand. We could never afford the summer rates but it's a nice price in April!
beerlover Have fun! There is a Fire and Ice celebration along Carroll Creek on Saturday which I’ve always heard is pretty cool. The Tasting Room, Wine Kitchen, Hooch and Banter, VOLT, Firestone’s, Pistarros are all good.
Post by killercupcake on Jan 14, 2020 23:02:08 GMT -5
H thinks he won the bid for the day shift (he hasn’t heard officially, just word of mouth). That means we’ll have to put DS in daycare, but I’m okay with it. The bill will be awful but it’ll be nice to have H home with us at night. And DS really does need to get into a preschool somewhere.
isabel I tried YNAB and couldn't really get in to it. Right now I use an old fashioned spreadsheet and am also able to categorize stuff in my online banking. My probably isn't knowing where the money is going, it's just how much money is going there LOL For example, we budget $50/wk for eating out, but we nearly tripled that amount for 2019. I have a decent budget, H and I just need to get on the same page and stick to it.
Speaking of, maudefindlay, this is actually a huge issue for us and we tried working on it in therapy and it was a freaking mess. I tried explaining everything to H and showing him my spreadsheets and all and he didn't get it. I tried writing it all out, he didn't get it. He'd just rather walk through life happily swiping his debit card with ne'er a repercussion. He got upset with me the other day because we had to pay an overdraft fee even though it was technically his fault (he didn't know that I had paid the mortgage and then tried to use the card for something). And then when he does ask if we have money for something and I tell him no, he gets upset, so I stopped telling him no and now here we are with the same debt we've been fighting with for the last 6 years (since we got married and combined finances). Don't get me wrong, I'm all swipey-swipe with the credit card, so we've both contributed to the problem, I just don't know how to get on the same page now.
Post by emilyinchile on Jan 15, 2020 7:44:27 GMT -5
@sameoldstory would it work for him to have his own account to cover his usual expenses and whatever you agree is the right amount of discretionary money, and get him away from using the joint account? It's still putting the burden on you to deal with your joint financial health and future, but at least his refusal to participate won't negatively affect you. I can't imagine how angry and frustrated you must feel.
I just had a consult for invisalign. I switched to a new dentist about a year ago, and have not been all that impressed, but I saw the same (90 year old??) dentist every time, and thought maybe he was the problem.
I did my consult with the main dentist, and he was... interesting. Gave me basically no information, didn't really look that closely at my teeth or talk about whether I'm a good candidate, etc. Basically just said "yeah, we'll take the impressions, and send them off to get you started." I was expected at least a basic overview of what to expect, what makes a good candidate, things I should be concerned about, etc. I think he was in the room 1-2 minutes total.
Honestly, though.... I'll probably do it anyway. I do think that my case is pretty straightforward, and I care mostly about looks, not about having a perfect bite. This guy's price is good and his office is very convenient, so... I think I might take my chances.
I agree with the other person who said you may want to consult with an ortho. I did Invisalign through my dentist, but he spent lots of time with me, and I had a detailed meeting with a hygienist who had Invisalign at the time. My best friend went to an ortho for hers at the same time as me. She paid the same at the ortho as I did at the dentist. While your case may seem simple, there are lots of variables along the way. You may have to get a few brackets on your teeth, and if they mess up your bite, extra trays will be needed.
@sameoldstory would it work for him to have his own account to cover his usual expenses and whatever you agree is the right amount of discretionary money, and get him away from using the joint account? It's still putting the burden on you to deal with your joint financial health and future, but at least his refusal to participate won't negatively affect you. I can't imagine how angry and frustrated you must feel.
He actually has a credit card that he uses for work and we pay off every month with his expense checks. I might just have him start using that for everything and then just pay it off each month. Honestly, I don't think him having a bank account would make any difference because I'd still have to be the one policing it to make sure he has enough money. Finances are a HUGE problem in our marriage and I just don't know how to fix it.
isabel I tried YNAB and couldn't really get in to it. Right now I use an old fashioned spreadsheet and am also able to categorize stuff in my online banking. My probably isn't knowing where the money is going, it's just how much money is going there LOL For example, we budget $50/wk for eating out, but we nearly tripled that amount for 2019. I have a decent budget, H and I just need to get on the same page and stick to it.
This is what makes YNAB great. You categorize your money just like you would in the spreadsheets you're using, but in this case, you're putting actual money in "envelopes" for your various categories. So you might put $50 a week toward eating out, but if you go spend $50.01, the app is going to tell you immediately that you've overspent that category and you need to cover the overage from somewhere else. It's very eye-opening for situations exactly like that.
It also automatically moves money from the categories to your credit card payment so that you always have enough to pay what you're putting on your credit cards. It's not possible to spend more than you're able to pay as long as you are keeping your category balances neutral or positive.
I know it's not a super intuitive program, but there are so many resources out there to learn it. It's clear you guys need to figure out a shift. I swear I'm not judging. We've been in a similar spot. I just know that I kicked myself for months about not starting YNAB sooner. We paid off over $40k in debt in less than a year. Part of that was profits from selling our house, but over half of it was truly just the eye-opening experience of really understanding how we were spending our money and adjusting accordingly. It has truly changed our lives. We haven't accumulated new debt in over two years now and don't have any credit card debt. We're also on track to pay cash for our next (new, not new-to-us) cars.