S/O sleeping with parents

[nellgirl]

If you coslept, at what age did this end? Did you force it, or did your child initiate? How was it?

[dock]

DS started sleeping in bed with me when we both got the flu when he was 4.5yo. Prior to that he never had any interest, and didn’t even really snuggle in bed with me. That flipped a switch though, because I only got him out of my bed this past summer, shortly before he turned 6. He went back to his own bed VERY unhappily (and it took a ton of effort), and still asks most nights if he can sleep with me. He was coming into bed most nights in the middle of the night up until a month or so ago, but it’s only occasionally now. Mornings are hit or miss now too, sometimes he goes to play, other times he comes into bed. He ALWAYS has to check on his baby sister in her bassinet first though.

I know my sleep was shit but I loved cosleeping and having him close. The primary reason I moved him was being pregnant with DD - I didn’t want to wait until she was here to do it (and have him resent her), and I knew there was no way his already not great sleep would be compatible with an infant in the same room.

[sju1982]

J started co-sleeping with us not long after his sister was born, so he had just turned 3. She was sleeping in our room and I think he felt like he was missing out. She went to her own room at 12 weeks, and J is still in our room 2 years later. We waffle back and forth between him starting in his own bed (which is a struggle) before he ends up in our room before midnight, or avoiding a battle and just having him go to sleep in out bed.

I love having him in bed with us at night, but my husband does not...at least not full time. We all sleep crappier which is definitely a negative. We have been talking to him about staying in his own bed over the past week. My husband promised him a new dinosaur, and he slept in his room all night without a fight last night....so obviously he can do it but claims otherwise.

[bcv513]

C also started sleeping with us when I caved one night when she was sick. I was worried about her breathing and wanted her with me. She was around 2 at the time. When she turned 3 we made a big deal out of turning her crib into a big girl bed. We redecorated her room with whatever she wanted. I still have to be in the bed with her until she falls asleep. Some nights she wakes up crying and one of us goes in with her. Some nights I fall asleep before I sneak out and end up staying with her. It's not the greatest

[SusanBAnthony]

Forced around age 2.

Both would still sleep with us if we let them (9 and 12).

[SusanBAnthony]

Jan 15, 2020 7:03:40 GMT -5 sju1982 said:

J started co-sleeping with us not long after his sister was born, so he had just turned 3. She was sleeping in our room and I think he felt like he was missing out. She went to her own room at 12 weeks, and J is still in our room 2 years later. We waffle back and forth between him starting in his own bed (which is a struggle) before he ends up in our room before midnight, or avoiding a battle and just having him go to sleep in out bed.

I love having him in bed with us at night, but my husband does not...at least not full time. We all sleep crappier which is definitely a negative. We have been talking to him about staying in his own bed over the past week. My husband promised him a new dinosaur, and he slept in his room all night without a fight last night....so obviously he can do it but claims otherwise.

DD hadn't coslept in a while but she would come wake us up every night needing tucks. We totally bribed her put of it. Took one week. She clearly was fine but just liked hanging with us at 3 am. Little punk.

[sju1982]

Jan 15, 2020 8:57:33 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

Jan 15, 2020 7:03:40 GMT -5 sju1982 said:

J started co-sleeping with us not long after his sister was born, so he had just turned 3. She was sleeping in our room and I think he felt like he was missing out. She went to her own room at 12 weeks, and J is still in our room 2 years later. We waffle back and forth between him starting in his own bed (which is a struggle) before he ends up in our room before midnight, or avoiding a battle and just having him go to sleep in out bed.

I love having him in bed with us at night, but my husband does not...at least not full time. We all sleep crappier which is definitely a negative. We have been talking to him about staying in his own bed over the past week. My husband promised him a new dinosaur, and he slept in his room all night without a fight last night....so obviously he can do it but claims otherwise.

DD hadn't coslept in a while but she would come wake us up every night needing tucks. We totally bribed her put of it. Took one week. She clearly was fine but just liked hanging with us at 3 am. Little punk.

And this is why I am so hesitant to give him the boot. I know he really enjoys being near us while he sleeps, and this won't last forever.  I want to enjoy it while I can.  

[shauni27]

ugh, S BEGS to sleep with us when he wakes up in the night. We usually say no, but since our move he has had a rough time, plus got sick. So we gave in.

I HATE IT, lol.

[brooke77]

My DS is 2.5 and cosleeps intermittently. I have a love/hate relationship with it. He coslept from about 5-9 months. Then he slept in his crib. He’s been back in our bed since November.

He’s going through a big time “Mama” phase. I expect that he will be back in his room when he’s ready. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

I love all the snuggles since I don’t see him all day. But I hate it because I don’t sleep well at all. He keeps me up all night.

In February we are all getting new beds. A twin for DS and a king for DH and I. Right now DH is in the guest room and DS and I are in the master.

[sent]

DD and I co-slept since she was tiny. Closer to age 4, I was able to tell her "mommy has to go shower" and she wouldn't cry as I left the room. It took until age 4.25 before she stopped yelling MOTN for me to come back to her bed.

We're all back to co-sleeping now that DS is in the picture. DD is 6 and sleeps in her bed, DS and I on a floor mattress in her room. She's fine to sleep on her own too if we send her to bed first though she doesn't like that because she thinks it's "unfair" DS gets to stay up.

[redpenmama]

Oldest was forced out at 2 when I was pregnant. She transitioned easily.

Middle was forced out (using a sticker chart/toy bribe) at 4. He'd still be in bed with us at 6 if we didn't force him out.

Youngest (almost 3) is still with us.

[nellgirl]

Thanks, everyone. People are super judgemental about this, but when I talk to parents of similar-aged kids, many seem to cosleep.
Our daughter will be 4 next month and was the worst sleeper as a baby. Like, she woke up every 45 mins for well over a year. We lived in an older wood-framed apartment building with grumpy shift working neighbours, so couldn’t really sleep train (even if I had the heart to do so).
She sleeps in our bed, but goes down on her own (after stories and a song). She sleeps between us, but doesn’t move around much, and if I’m honest, I LOVE the snuggles.
I always figure that she won’t be sleeping with us at 18...

[aprilsails]

DD (4) would love to sleep with us. At times we’ve made a bed on the floor out of extra duvets to get us through a rough patch. I cannot handle her sleeping with me, and DH sets up a pillow wall through the middle of the bed to keep me away so he’s not keen on it either. She coslept occasionally as a baby when it worked to buy me more sleep.

DS (3 months) will not cosleep at all. It’s kind of surprising for a baby but as soon as I plunk him down beside me he fussed. Sleeps great in his crib.

When I was a kid my parents had a waterbed and it was honestly genius. We would all ask to sleep with them at times, they would say sure, I would snuggle in and then could never fall asleep since it felt so weird. 15 minutes later I would be back in my room.

[clseale]

It started at 2.5 (when she busted out of her crib and moved to a toddler bed) and ended less than 2 wks later. LOL DH and I were both strongly against it. None of us slept well, so after two wks I had enough. Parked my butt outside of her room from 1-4:30 and continued to walk her back to bed each time she came out. There were a lot of tears, but it never happened again after that night.

[kme]

Granted my kids are young but it hasnt ended yet. I have a 13 month old I’ve been sleeping with since about 7 months. It started cause she was always sick and vomiting at night. She was delayed so I was concerned that she would be laying on her back vomiting so I put her into bed with me and it’s been that way ever since.

My H sleeps with our 4 year old now too. She started night waking around age 3 and it’s just easier for him to sleep with her instead going to her room all night long when she awoke.

In our current house the girls bedrooms are upstairs and ours is downstairs, and on the other side of the house in another “wing”. Prior to cosleeping with the baby I slept on a mattress on the floor up there; I didn’t like them being alone. We’re moving in early Feb. after it settles we’re gonna try to have them sleep in their own beds.

H’s parents despise cosleeping. They always say something to us about it. I was scared to death with DD1 but with DD2 I realized it’s no big deal; as long as it’s safe (no pillows or loose blankets etc). The more you talk to people the more you’ll find out that cosleep! It’s pretty common just no one talks about it.

[pooh8402]

Hasn't really ended yet.

We started cosleeping with E1 (4 yo) very early, like 3 months? To survive because he nursed so frequently at night. That ended when we sleep trained st 6.5 months. But we continued to cosleep anytime we traveled, and just when we have major transitions at home. Last spring/ summer, DH and E1 slept in the guest bed for like 3 or 4 months while E1 was night potty training and we were all dealing with a newborn. We're currently trying to get him to sleep in his bed but he has really pushed back on it. Right now, he's falling asleep on the floor next to his open bedroom door, and coming to our bed sometime MOTN.

E2 shared a room with me, but in his own bed, until like 8.5 months. I've only brought him to my bed a few times, and only in the morning when I'm not quite ready to get up for the day, but am rested enough to be aware of him. So he hasn't really coslept much.

I have no idea if the difference this far is personality vs parenting style.