MOOKS: 11 year old bday...& sleepover??

[nicolewi]

I'm so torn on what to do about my DD's 11th bday (5th grade) and need to decide soon. Long story short we weren't going to do a party this year but now I might.  

First I need to decide if we are having a party at all. Next I need to decide whether to let it be a sleepover or not. Last, how many girls. 

She wants to have a Greatest Showman theme, do a couple activities, eat "circus food" dinner, and watch the movie while they hang out. She has roughly 8 to 10 girls she would most like to invite. We've had friends sleep over, but we have yet to do a slumber PARTY. We have done a couple "almost sleepover" parties where they changed into PJs and got picked up around 9/9:30, but she is hoping to have a real sleepover this time if we let her.

So...
--general tips?
--Have you done a sleepover party for this age?
--How many girls are too many for a sleepover?
--where did you have them sleep? They wouldn't fit in DD's room. I think we would have to put them in our family room, but there's a big window at the end of it with no shades. Does that matter? I could put them in the finished basement, but I feel uncomfortable with that as I wouldn't hear them from my room. 

Would I totally regret it, LOL?

FWIW, she hasn't been to a sleepover party at someone's house. One girl had a hotel sleepover party last year.  Okay, totally forgot, she's been to two! They were a couple years ago.

[minniemouse]

Dd had a sleepover for her 10th. She could only invite 3 friends, since we also went out to dinner and I can only fit 4 kids in my car. I think 8-10 is a lot. The other sleepover parties she has been to had between 3-4 guests. Even with only 3 guests it was so loud and they did not sleep well, but we don’t regret it. She had a blast.
ETA- they slept in Dd’s room. Between her full size bed and 2 nugget couches we had enough space.

[ECB]

DS just turned 11. I no longer do big sleepovers. He had a couple a couple years ago - about 6 friends- and i just can’t do it. He did a big sleepover at a friends house recently and the boys were up almost the entire night. But the dad didn’t take away devices - big mistake!

This year - he did a breakout room for his party. Then the night of his actual b-day, his best friend spent the night. It was perfect.

All that being said - I’d give her this one party. Let her have the experience!! Then never do it again. 😂

And TAKE AWAY DEVICES!!!!!!

[IrishBelle]

I’m planning a sleepover party for next weekend for my DD is turning 9. She will have 2 friends this time and they will sleep in her room. 3 friends is my max.

I wouldn’t worry too much about a room with no blinds. They will be up early anyways.

[IrishBelle]

One more thing- set a early pick up time. They will be up early so plan for breakfast and then pick up.

[ECB]

Jan 16, 2020 20:21:47 GMT -5 IrishBelle said:

One more thing- set a early pick up time. They will be up early so plan for breakfast and then pick up.

OMG yes!! This!!

And you’ll be ready for them to leave!

[InBetweenDays]

We've done a number of sleepover birthday parties over the years. Both kids did one for their last birthday - DS was turning 10 and DD 13. Both had 7 friends stay over.

I will say 8 10-year old boys was too many, but 8 13-year old girls was no problem. Sleepovers are always in our finished basement, but I don't think it would be an issue to have it on a room with no blinds.

[nicolewi]

How do you go about taking away devices?? Do you just say that they can come get it temporarily if they need to contact a parent?? Most of these kids don't have phones yet, but a couple do.

How early in the morning do you mean? I was thinking 10...is that too late?

Now she is thinking of inviting 7 or 8 (plus herself) but I think at least 2 would not stay over. I feel like that's manageable.

[minniemouse]

I would just say phones/devices need to be off now, lights out. Dd went to a sleepover last fall where 2 girls had phones and 3 did not (dd was in the no phone group). She said the 3 of them went to bed around midnight. The other 2played on their phones until 2am- or at least that’s what they told her.

[InBetweenDays]

We haven't taken away devices. None of DS' friends have phones, but they brought iPads, Switches, etc. All of DD's friends have phones. For both we just said they needed to be off at X time. Then had to go down a number of times to follow through. I have heard of people turning off wi-fi at a certain time.

[imojoebunny]

I do not take away phones, unless parents ask me to, since some children call their parents in the middle of the night apparently, and others have specific rules about being able to communicate with the parents, in the case of children with 2 households. I shut off wifi at a certain point, like when I go to bed. We do not do more kids than I can fit in my car for spend the nights, so 5 max, including mine. 8-10 is too many, too much drama, and never goes to sleep.

I usually have kids come after school on Friday, and stay until 10 or 11 in the morning because I, personally, despise parents who expect me to pick up a kid at 8am on Saturday morning. Unless you have specific concerns about your child or some of her friends, I would put them in the basement. My DD's room is in our basement. There is a den, right off her room, that is very bright and has 7 windows. The girls all spread out in those two rooms. I sleep like a rock, so even if DD's room was next to mine, I would not be waking up.

[clseale]

This reminds me of the year my parents said fuck two parties and combined our birthday parties. (Our birthdays are 5 days apart.) It was my sister’s 13th and my 8th birthday and we were each allowed 10 kids. 😂🤪 I don’t really have much to add other than to say that while I remember it being a blast, I’d probably do way less than 20 kids. I don’t think it was a coincidence that it never happened again. LOL

[jeaniebueller]

I wouldn’t take away devices. That’s a huge part of how kids ‘play’ and hang out these days. I would make them take breaks from devices periodically to play games or watch movies and maybe a a few organized activities (like a craft) and turn them off by like 10pm.

[erbear]

too many kids. I'd have 3-4 max to sleep over.

I teach middle school. Team take away devices. We always do. 

[penguingrrl]

I would definitely let them sleep in the family room and limit to 4 kids. More than that becomes unmanageable IME.

We haven’t had kids wake up super early with sleepovers, in fact we usually find that we’re still serving breakfast when parents come around 10. I would definitely say the family room is a good place to put everyone, or the basement. I wouldn’t do bedrooms because it would keep the rest of my family awake since our bedrooms are all right next to each other.

I’ve found that hosting parents tend to ask that children leave cell phones and other devices home in our circle, and I like that a lot. They still have our tv and switch if they want to play, but nobody has phones/devices all night that way. The parents can reach each other if needed during the night.

[Dumbledork]

We had 10 girls sleepover for DDs 9th birthday and then 5 girls sleepover for her 10th birthday.

Both parties went great and I would do 10 person sleepover again.

The first party we kept them at the house the whole time. They were able to play in her section of the basement the whole time, but we also offered some loose group activities to break up the day.

We did a science-ish theme for the first one. Each girl got a white apron and they could design it with fabric markers, then they could wear them when we did some of the other activities. We did mini rockets with alka-seltzer, the mentos in coke thing, and they made their own soaps.

They watched a movie and all slept in our front room and living room. We brought up some of our air mattresses and they slept on those and our couches.

The next morning, my husband cooked breakfast while I was on bathroom monitor duty. I found that’s where girls were getting snippy with each other so I just took it over. I’d call for three girls up, send one to the bathroom to do teeth, hair, etc, the other two to bedrooms to change and then rotate them through and send them back down to pack up their stuff and drop it in a line by the front door.

Everyone had their stuff packed up and ready by the door before breakfast was done. We did pick up by 10.

Like I said, it worked really well. Find some activities and set up some kind of routine and I think it’s good to go.

The second year, we limited to five because we took the girls to a trampoline park and then brought them back to sleep over.

[nicolewi]

Jan 16, 2020 22:10:44 GMT -5 clseale said:

This reminds me of the year my parents said fuck two parties and combined our birthday parties. (Our birthdays are 5 days apart.) It was my sister’s 13th and my 8th birthday and we were each allowed 10 kids. 😂🤪 I don’t really have much to add other than to say that while I remember it being a blast, I’d probably do way less than 20 kids. I don’t think it was a coincidence that it never happened again. LOL

Oh, wow. I'm sure this went down in family history! Yeah, I am not doing that, LOL.