Dear k3am, Could you and your sisters approach her doctor about it? That's what my mom and siblings had to do with my grandmother. They got the PCP to be the one to tell her she can't drive anymore so that they didn't look like the bad guys and it was more "official." I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Signed, Twinmomma
twinmomma, one sister would be on board with that approach. The other just responded in our text thread saying "wait until she sees the doctor. She is scared and frustrated and hopefully the memory stuff will be resolved with nutritional improvement."
The problem is she sees the doctor alone and who knows how honest she's being with him. I also think her doctor is a POS. She has been seeing him for at least 30 years and I think he's the cause of a lot of her health problems, but that's a whole different story.
sdlaura, good luck on the 1 hour glucose test. My crappy genetics led me to taking the 3 hour test at 9 weeks with my youngest. Morning sickness + 3 hour glucose test = me desperately trying not to throw up and have to repeat the test all over again. I was on insulin before I got out of the first trimester.
Dear family, I am so so tired. Between work, teaching, training for a marathon, and all of you, I am running on empty. Can we please have a low key evening tomorrow? Watching a movie and relaxing would be wonderful.
k3am and twinmomma, that's BS that lab staff (your doctor?) wouldn't trust a pregnant woman not to try to mess with a necessary pregnancy test. Whose interest would it be in to cheat? I don't want to have GD, but I definitely want to know if I do. The only instructions they gave were that water was fine and going to the bathroom was fine.
I regularly push back against silly medical requirements. The lab wanted to do a second blood draw today to test my blood type. Um, no. I know what my blood type is and it hasn't changed. I've signed myself out of the ER when we've determined what's wrong so I don't have to waste time waiting for yet another doctor. And I got an annoyed hospital professional calling me after I left the hospital following my last delivery, saying that I didn't wait long enough to fill out some form. Which apparently was fine to do over the phone.
I asked my OB's nurse practitioner today about how long I have to stay in the hospital after giving birth (since I'm still paranoid that coronavirus will be a bigger issue in a few months). She said that if I stay less than 24 hours, insurance won't cover the stay.
sdlaura- say what now? Insurance won’t cover the stay unless you stay 24 hours? I’d check that with insurance. I had 2 of my babies at a birth center (so yes different, but only a little) and I left 4-6 hours after both births and insurance covered it just fine. I call BS on that nurse’s knowledge. Also, it begs the question as to why it’s standard to keep new moms at the hospital, but fully recognize my fringe beliefs on the entire way we do birth in this country so I’ll just leave it there.
I saw you mentioned a home birth at some point (I think), you might consider a free standing birth center if there’s one near you, perfect blend of home comforts and not having to actually be at home.
mrsGreeko, do you have an HMO or PPO? From my initial research, our HMO won't cover a home birth or birth center.
Ah yeah HMO’s suck as far as alternative birthing options. I do know that a friend was able to somehow get Kaiser HMO here to cover her birth center birth by petitioning on the fact that they had no comparable facility or something. I don’t really know, it was a long time ago. But, also birth center births tend to be much much cheaper to do out of pocket if necessary. I know a few women who did it because their insurance wouldn’t cover.
ETA: sorry I get passionate about this topic. Ha. I also forget that HMOs exist as I’ve never had that as my insurance.
mrsGreeko we've had really good luck with our HMO with pretty much everything we've ever needed in this area (including DS2's open heart surgery with the top surgeon in the region), but it does seem to have limitations for birth.
A home birth would cost us $3-$4k out of pocket more than a hospital birth. We could swing it if necessary but I'd rather use that money for other things. Our out of pocket cost for a hospital birth is under $1,000.
I've had really good intervention-free birth experiences in the hospital here. They've been totally open to my birth preferences (we did hypnobirthing) and I've had 3 kids with no meds and gotten out of there relatively quickly each time. I'd like to do it again, but I'd like to have plans for a scenario where coronavirus is much more widespread and medical staffs might be stretched.
I cannot imagine being in your shoes the past 36 hours. That your healthy 30 year old daughter who had a 7 year old son and two even younger stepdaughters just didn’t wake up in the morning is heartbreaking. That your grandson doesn’t even remember what his dad looks like but could have to go live with him is even worse. I know we have virtually nothing in common, but we are both moms, and losing your child is just beyond anything I can imagine.
Love, The Other DIL
Dear Nephew’s Dad:
The fact that this has happened to you twice is beyond weird. I’m taking solace in the fact that you had zero interest in getting custody of your first son when his mom overdosed. Please leave this child with his family like you did the other one. They love him and he loves them. He just lost his mom. He shouldn’t have to lose anyone else.
Thanks, everyone. They got in touch with the dad yesterday, and he agreed he isn’t going to ask for custody. So her older sister, who has taken custody of the little boy before when the mom couldn’t adequately parent (alcoholism), is going to seek custody. I’m glad that part is worked out. The really sad part is that she had recently finally gotten her life as together as she ever would have. She was living with a really great guy, being a SAHM to her son and his two daughters. Her FB was full of pictures of dinners she’d made for them and posts about how awesome it was when all three kids snuggled her on the couch. It just came out of nowhere. And there are still no answers about why she died. She’d had a cold that she couldn’t shake for a couple of weeks, but that wasn’t unusual for her at this time of year.
mommyatty, I'm so sorry. What a horrible, heartbreaking situation. I'm glad that it sounds like the custody piece won't be a battle though, for that little boy's sake. The poor kid. Ugh.