MOOK/Return to School: Child's Input?

[186momx]

DD and I talked about it. She agreed 100% virtual was the better option but wanted to know what it would look like before we make our final decision.

[mrsGreeko]

Not really. I would have sent them in person regardless of their preferences because they don’t have the drive to make remote learning work, and their mental health has really suffered being away from kids their ages. It doesn’t matter though because we don’t have a choice. They start virtual a week late for at least the first month (I’m putting good money on entire semester and betting hard on full school year). So their opinions and my opinions matter not at all at the moment.

[lolalolalola]

My 12 yo daughter has retreated to spending 90% of her days in her bedroom and does not want to see her friends at all. She does not want to go back but I am making her go because I can see she has become withdrawn and anti-social over the last 6 months.

So, I would consider their opinions but I won’t let them make the decision because kids don’t always make the best decisions for themselves.

[ssmjlm]

Also, I'm somewhat ok with making a choice now, knowing we could go to the virtual option if the school board really did try and send us back too early.

I really hope it doesn't come to that. Sadly, seeing what some of the early states are experiencing because they're doing in person should be a lesson to everyone. Schools won't make it a week in person right now without someone showing up positive.

[jinkies]

My kid is going into 7th grade (he's 12).

I allowed him to have input because I was truly torn on our options (hybrid where he will attend in person for 2 shortened days/week, or all virtual) so I let his opinion be the deciding vote. He chose hybrid, which was somewhat surprising bc he actually liked virtual schooling in the spring. But the isolation has affected his mental health, and he was worried about missing out on meeting new people his first year of middle school.

I did not really give my 8 year old any input into her decision. I was more firmly decided for her.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Yes.

My 11 year old (starting 6th grade) was split -- wanted to go back for the social aspect, but knew that she would do well with virtual. DH and I decided she should do virtual, but if she had been 100% opposed to the idea, we would have had to consider that because for her to do her virtual work she is going to have to be self-motivated.

My 7 year old adamantly does not want to go back because she's developed huge separation anxiety since March. But she also said that she really did not want to do school at home because she hated it last spring. DH and I decided to send her back to full time school. A lot of our decision was because it's the right choice for her (to help manage that separation anxiety, plus I trust the elementary school to do a much better job social distancing than the middle school would be able to do), but I do feel like we had to have her buy-in at least a bit or else it was going to be a struggle.


ETA: 6th grade is middle school for us -- 7 different classes, each with 22 kids in the class, plus changing classes with little hallway supervision. Masks are required in hallways, but let's be honest, they can't get the kids to stop smoking in the bathrooms. I have no illusions that they will be able to force the kids to appropriately use masks.

[mightymaude]

Yes. My 7th grader is a highly motivated student. He wants to stay home and do virtual. Ultimately, the school district chose to stay virtual for the first marking period (and, I suspect, the majority of the year), but we will let him to continue online after it goes back in person.

The 4th grader also wants to stay virtual. However, she has special needs and needs support, so we will see how things go. We will need someone to be there working with her.

[mslhb]

My daughter is 12 and we definitely took her input into the decision. We originally had a choice of a hybrid or 100% virtual option. We chose hybrid. Based on data the district has now moved to 100% virtual for opening. So far I’m happy with their approach and we will stay in the tract that moves to a hybrid model when the data supports it.

[timorousbeastie]

DD is 6, going into 1st grade. We did not include her on the decision making process for a couple reasons. The biggest one is because it’s not really a decision for us - sending her in person is not an option for our situation (I’m very high risk, I SAH, masks are not required for K-5 grade, she doesn’t adjust well to change so periodic school closures due to outbreaks would not be good for her - all that adds up to keeping her home). I’m all for including her on making decisions in general, but not when her input isn’t going to actually affect what we decide to do. Luckily so far she seems okay with the idea. I do need to figure something out for socialization, though. Keeping her 100% isolated until she gets vaccinated obviously won’t be great for her, either.

[AdaraMarie]

I have to send my kids back in person because my district required a year long commitment to the choice and there is no way I could commit to a full year of working from home while teaching a kid (10) that gets sped services and a kid (7) who can't totally read and refused to do anything without my full attention in the spring. I was hoping their dad would help but it turns out he is very "everything needs to reopen, it's not a big deal" and they've been with me full time since March anyway.
In any case, they both say they want to go in person but I'm afraid after they see what it's really like they will say they want to stay home. 9 days until school starts here.

[formerlyak]

We asked both kids (6 and 14). Full time is not on the table in our district. They both wanted hybrid and DH and my older son’s dad were on board with that. But then the state said counties needed to meet certain criteria to consider having kids on campuses, even hybrid. So we are signed up for “hybrid” but everyone starts at home. The schedule of the day is similar to what the kids will do when they can go hybrid - all synchronous learning done before lunch and independent work is completed after the lunch break, with time built in after lunch for kids to do 1:1 meetings (via zoom) with teachers as needed by appointment. Once allowed, the kids will be split into cohorts by last name/household and go either T/W or Th/F for half a day. Everyone is virtual on Mondays under this model.

So we did ask for input but it really doesn’t matter for now.

[penguingrrl]

We talked our kids through our decision that they need to remain virtual. If it were safer I would have talked to the older two about it (13/8th and 11/6th) but people in our community are constantly putting pics of themselves in each other’s houses, nary a mask in sight, so we don’t have a safe in school option.

[edwardo123]

For my youngest, we are sending to private kindergarten at her daycare. She wants to go back, and I feel comfortable with the center’s safety plan.

My oldest is going into middle school. We originally were going to send her to the hybrid option, but now it is all virtual. With her input, we have decided to homeschool. She would have needed to log into seven Zoom sessions a day with the virtual model. With homeschool, we can be flexible and finish the work in 3-4 hours.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Before the district made the decision to go 100% distance learning, dd and I talked about it and we were both fine with the 2d in, 2d out DL hybrid model the district floated. She learns better in a group setting and at age 11, she’s old enough to mask up and be socially distant.

[dr.girlfriend]

Our district was talking hybrid, with the option to opt into fully online.

At first I was not going to let DS (age 11, going into 6th grade) decide, because hybrid model was without masks, which I thought was crazy. BUT, then the teachers pushed back and it became 6 feet of distance WITH masks at all times, and I was ready to consider it. I work at a hospital and feel fairly safe with universal masking, so I felt it hypocritical to not give him the same opportunity, especially since COVID is not currently rampant in our area (less than 5% positivity rates and relatively low number of cases per capita).

That said, he is actually more risk-averse, and chose online anyway. And then the district reversed and said they are doing all online, at least for September.

Luckily, we have the option to have someone home with him (DH went to part-time and entirely WFH) and (surprisingly, given his ADD) my son actually learns well online. Plus, DH is high risk due to diabetes so we are being as careful as we can be.  

My mental calculations might be very different if I were in a different state, online weren't being taught by district teachers, etc. Every situation is so different and fluid on multiple levels -- community rates of COVID, district safeguards, school's ability to teach online, kids' level of social extraversion, access to devices and wireless in the home, etc. I would never judge anyone else's decision -- except for those schools in Georgia that shoved everyone in the school together for a class picture on the first day with no masks. They are being judged HARD by me.

[keh2oblue]

Aug 5, 2020 6:47:03 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Yes we asked her and yes her opinion counts. She's 7, going into 2nd grade. She also has 2 parents who work FT, so the entire family unit needed to be accounted for.

She wants to go back. She knows she will have to wear a mask all day. She cannot hug/touch/be near anyone.

So we chose the flex option. They're starting virtually anyway.

One of the biggest issues I have with our county's virtual is that you are only guaranteed schooling. Your teacher may/may not be from the county. Your "class" will be students from all over the county. They're not even guaranteeing trying to put kids together from the same school or 2 neighboring schools. So the don't seem any more organized about it at this point.

This is basically the same setup for us (wonder if we’re in the same district 👀). My kids are 2nd and 6th and we discussed with them. They have no issues with masks or social distancing and we both work f/t, so we’re doing the hybrid plan.

[ssmjlm]

keh2oblue, I'm in SE Virginia.

[keh2oblue]

Aug 12, 2020 6:43:47 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

keh2oblue, I'm in SE Virginia.

Lol, nope, we’re in SC.