What age to walk to school alone?

[redheadbaker]

What age would you be comfortable letting your child walk to school on their own? Assume it's about half a mile, they'd have to cross a state highway, and the crossing guard that's stationed there is only there 50 to 60% of the time. None of their friends live nearby that they could walk with. Chlid also has ADHD, and even medicated is easily distracted and often acts impulsively. 

Ugh, every time I think about this, I don't think I'm ever going to be comfortable with it. 

[brooklyn]

I was walking myself to school in Manhattan by the age of 10 but I wasn’t crossing highways and there were always tons of people around. That highway would make me nervous 😞

[trytobearunner34]

I started walking to school by myself or with friends in first grade (so age 6). I came in fully prepared to advocate for early elementary, but that highway (with crossing guard 1/2 time😬) puts me in middle school (maybe?) range. I am shocked that a school district designates a walking zone that involves a highway. Mine was small town, sidewalked roads and we had three adult crossing guards on the 0.6 mile “trek” in the mid 80s.

[expectantsteelerfan]

That's hard. My son is 11, is in 6th, has ADHD and is also very impulsive, and I have been letting him do stuff like that occasionally, but I'd be nervous about him doing it every day. Like his middle school is about 1/2 a mile away, and one day at the beginning of the year he was supposed to leave something in the lobby of the school for someone else to pick up (the lobby was open after hours) and forgot, so he rode his bike back to school to leave it. He had to cross a busy road, but not a highway, and there is a cross walk. But I feel like if it made sense for him to do it regularly, around now is time time we'd need to let him try it out to see if he could handle the responsibility, but have a backup plan in place in case he couldn't.

[redheadbaker]

May 21, 2021 17:22:27 GMT -5 trytobearunner34 said:

I started walking to school by myself or with friends in first grade (so age 6). I came in fully prepared to advocate for early elementary, but that highway (with crossing guard 1/2 time😬) puts me in middle school (maybe?) range. I am shocked that a school district designates a walking zone that involves a highway. Mine was small town, sidewalked roads and we had three adult crossing guards on the 0.6 mile “trek” in the mid 80s.

The district is less a square mile and less 1,000 students K-12. There's no buses at all. Unfortunately, a state highway (there's stoplights, but people drive CRAZY on it) goes through the town. 

[ECB]

Yeah .... state highway stopped me. I can’t believe there isn’t a crossing guard there all the time. I wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

Just this summer, at the age of 12, i let DS ride his bike to a friends house that requires going through a stop light, but at an intersection where it’s one lane in each direction and relatively simple. Strict rules about only crossing with the light.

[af1212]

I would need to know more about the “state highway”. Where I live that term has more to do with who maintains the road than it does with indicating speed, danger, sidewalks or lack of, etc.

So I would want to know what is the speed limit on the road, what are the crossing conditions like, etc so I could decide.

[redheadbaker]

May 21, 2021 18:51:29 GMT -5 af1212 said:

I would need to know more about the “state highway”. Where I live that term has more to do with who maintains the road than it does with indicating speed, danger, sidewalks or lack of, etc.

So I would want to know what is the speed limit on the road, what are the crossing conditions like, etc so I could decide.

It's 2 lanes in each direction. Posted speed limit is 25 mph, but I'd say the typical average speed is more like 45 mph. There are crosswalks, and No Turn on Red signs at most intersections, both of which most drivers ignore. 

[af1212]

May 21, 2021 18:56:25 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

May 21, 2021 18:51:29 GMT -5 af1212 said:

I would need to know more about the “state highway”. Where I live that term has more to do with who maintains the road than it does with indicating speed, danger, sidewalks or lack of, etc.

So I would want to know what is the speed limit on the road, what are the crossing conditions like, etc so I could decide.

It's 2 lanes in each direction. Posted speed limit is 25 mph, but I'd say the typical average speed is more like 45 mph. There are crosswalks, and No Turn on Red signs at most intersections, both of which most drivers ignore. 

Ok based on that I would say 5th grade. But I would probably call the police pretty regularly to complain about the irregular crossing guard and would likely keep track of how often he/she was there. I would also practice A LOT with my kid.

[redheadbaker]

Just wanted to add, DS has not expressed any interest in walking to school alone. The question came up due to a conversation in our town FB group about the school dropoff traffic mess, and there were many long-time residents aghast that any student is driven to school, lots of "back in my day" bullshit, etc.

H and I are on the same page that at this point, DS is not mature enough to walk to school alone.

[af1212]

If there is truly a crossing guard only present 50% of the days that is something I would really get loud about.

Of course it’s wonderful that you can make the choice for your child but there are probably other families who do not have that choice and must walk and for their safety I would be a squeaky wheel.

[redheadbaker]

May 21, 2021 18:59:32 GMT -5 af1212 said:

May 21, 2021 18:56:25 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

It's 2 lanes in each direction. Posted speed limit is 25 mph, but I'd say the typical average speed is more like 45 mph. There are crosswalks, and No Turn on Red signs at most intersections, both of which most drivers ignore. 

Ok based on that I would say 5th grade. But I would probably call the police pretty regularly to complain about the irregular crossing guard and would likely keep track of how often he/she was there. I would also practice A LOT with my kid.

When I do see a crossing guard there, it IS a police officer! I don't think they have enough people willing to be a crossing guard to cover all the intersections. 

[sju]

The highway without a reliable crossing guard would be a dealbreaker for me. 

[af1212]

May 21, 2021 19:07:41 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

May 21, 2021 18:59:32 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Ok based on that I would say 5th grade. But I would probably call the police pretty regularly to complain about the irregular crossing guard and would likely keep track of how often he/she was there. I would also practice A LOT with my kid.

When I do see a crossing guard there, it IS a police officer! I don't think they have enough people willing to be a crossing guard to cover all the intersections. 

Where I live the crossing guards are employed by the police. That’s why I was suggesting to call them but maybe it’s different where you are. Either way I would work hard to get this solved as you will be solving the issue not just for your kid but any kid who walks to school.

[redheadbaker]

May 21, 2021 19:43:08 GMT -5 af1212 said:

May 21, 2021 19:07:41 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

When I do see a crossing guard there, it IS a police officer! I don't think they have enough people willing to be a crossing guard to cover all the intersections. 

Where I live the crossing guards are employed by the police. That’s why I was suggesting to call them but maybe it’s different where you are. Either way I would work hard to get this solved as you will be solving the issue not just for your kid but any kid who walks to school.

That's the case here, too, but they can't get enough people to do it, so the police officers fill in when they can. 

[macmars45]

May 21, 2021 19:43:08 GMT -5 af1212 said:

May 21, 2021 19:07:41 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

When I do see a crossing guard there, it IS a police officer! I don't think they have enough people willing to be a crossing guard to cover all the intersections. 

Where I live the crossing guards are employed by the police. That’s why I was suggesting to call them but maybe it’s different where you are. Either way I would work hard to get this solved as you will be solving the issue not just for your kid but any kid who walks to school.

Wow, police. In WA state it's paras who are crossing guards (along with recess & lunch supervision etc). Whenever I have had the crossing guard job I feel like I'm lucky to be alive at the end of that duty. People do.not.pay.attention.

I would be super loud about the fact that there isn't a crossing guard at that intersection every school day. A loud squeaky wheel. 

[MixedBerryJam]

My kids are currently 23 and 24 and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable today with them crossing a state highway without a crossing guard. And I'm 99% not exaggerating. I would work on getting a crossing guard there for the hours kids are crossing before I'd allow it. That said, my two did occasionally walk home alone crossing one main street (not a State highway but a couple yellow line street) at a pedestrian light at 8 & 9.

ETA In my defense the nearest state highway to me is FOUR Lanes in one direction and three in the other, plus turn sanes. It has pedestrian lights but I haven't crossed it yet and I've lived here 6 months. It's prob 1/2 a mile away and if I want to go to the park on the other side I drive there.

[ellipses84]

We struggle with how independent to let our kids be because DH and I had abnormal levels of independence at early ages. One way I counterbalance that is to take one situation at a time and teach independence. So I might not let my 10 year old make that walk to school tomorrow in the situation you describe, but I’d start walking it with him to make sure he knows what to do and we can discuss scenarios /what to be careful of, until we are both confident he can do it. I was definitely doing similar at age 10 and I see the middle school kids doing it daily at 11-12 / 6th grade. 10-11 / 5th graders are allowed to. A lot of maturity happens from 8-12 so it’s going to vary by kid.

[zarapipe]

Yeah I wouldn’t be okay with that until 12 maybe? It is totally kid dependent but that four lane without a crossing guard is a big hard nope.

[savan]

My kids had to cross a 4 lane, 45 mph road to walk to school but there was a crossing guard 100% of the time. We let them walk home alone in 4th grade, but a lot of parents in my neighborhood started at 3rd grade. Without a crossing guard my answer would have been never.

[VillainV]

Is this something you can work up to? Like could you walk them as far as the highway and cross with them, then let them walk the rest of the way on their own? Then work up to you walk together to the highway and they cross alone while you watch. Then eventually they walk the whole thing by themself?

[maudefindlay]

May 21, 2021 19:49:39 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

May 21, 2021 19:43:08 GMT -5 af1212 said:

Where I live the crossing guards are employed by the police. That’s why I was suggesting to call them but maybe it’s different where you are. Either way I would work hard to get this solved as you will be solving the issue not just for your kid but any kid who walks to school.

Wow, police. In WA state it's paras who are crossing guards (along with recess & lunch supervision etc). Whenever I have had the crossing guard job I feel like I'm lucky to be alive at the end of that duty. People do.not.pay.attention.

I would be super loud about the fact that there isn't a crossing guard at that intersection every school day. A loud squeaky wheel. 

80s kid anecdote.  When I was a 5th grader it was an honor to be chosen to be a crossing guard.  Yes, kids as crossing guards.  It was fun.  We had vests and big wooden poles with a red flag on hit. Respect my authority people, I'm 11!

[1yeartogo]

Agree with all the others that without a crossing guard this doesn’t sound safe. My DD who is 9 walks to school and texts or calls us on her gizmo watch when she arrives. She encounters 2 crossing guards on her way but she doesn’t actually need to cross at those places and they are 25 mile or less residential streets whose main traffic would be people going to school.

For the scenario described I would never allow my child to walk unless there was 100% certainty of crossing guard every day.

[penguingrrl]

I came in ready to say we let my middle start biking herself to school alone in 3rd grade, so 8. But the highway with an inconsistent crossing guard changes it a lot. The town next to me has a highway like that going through, but always has a crossing guard there.

My 11 year old (the one who started biking alone at 8) would be able to handle that, and I would trust her. But I don’t suspect my 8 year old (who is in the process of being screened for ADHD/possible autism) will be there at 11 based on his behavior now compared to hers at his age. He also isn’t ready to bike himself to and from school even though he’s exactly the age she was when she told me not to ride with her.

I think this is a bit kid dependent, but most likely by age 12 I would feel comfortable.

[macmars45]

May 22, 2021 4:59:02 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

May 21, 2021 19:49:39 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

Wow, police. In WA state it's paras who are crossing guards (along with recess & lunch supervision etc). Whenever I have had the crossing guard job I feel like I'm lucky to be alive at the end of that duty. People do.not.pay.attention.

I would be super loud about the fact that there isn't a crossing guard at that intersection every school day. A loud squeaky wheel. 

80s kid anecdote.  When I was a 5th grader it was an honor to be chosen to be a crossing guard.  Yes, kids as crossing guards.  It was fun.  We had vests and big wooden poles with a red flag on hit. Respect my authority people, I'm 11!

Kids help in WA state. Grown ups are in charge of street crossings though for obvious reasons.

When I was in 5th grade in 96/97 it was an honor to be chosen to be on patrol as well.

[maudefindlay]

macmars45 I was in 5th grade in 87-88 and there was no adult supervision at all. The teachers picked kids they thought would be responsible and that was it. We did street crossings with just 2 of us 5th graders per area, each taking a different crosswalk. It wasn't a highway at least!

The poles were heavy. They were like a 3 inch wide squared fence post and 3 to 4 ft long. Maybe that was our defense against a car were it to hit us?

[macmars45]

May 22, 2021 9:46:17 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

macmars45 I was in 5th grade in 87-88 and there was no adult supervision at all. The teachers picked kids they thought would be responsible and that was it. We did street crossings with just 2 of us 5th graders per area, each taking a different crosswalk. It wasn't a highway at least!

The poles were heavy. They were like a 3 inch wide squared fence post and 3 to 4 ft long. Maybe that was our defense against a car were it to hit us?

I wasn't apart of patrol in 5th grade. You had to be able to walk home afterwards and I rode the bus so I can't say how many adults were outside helping with patrol. At least one. However it was not a busy street; definitely not a highway. There were no sidewalks though, just a small shoulder and ditches (country living). *shrug*

[InBetweenDays]

May 22, 2021 4:59:02 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

May 21, 2021 19:49:39 GMT -5 macmars45 said:

Wow, police. In WA state it's paras who are crossing guards (along with recess & lunch supervision etc). Whenever I have had the crossing guard job I feel like I'm lucky to be alive at the end of that duty. People do.not.pay.attention.

I would be super loud about the fact that there isn't a crossing guard at that intersection every school day. A loud squeaky wheel. 

80s kid anecdote.  When I was a 5th grader it was an honor to be chosen to be a crossing guard.  Yes, kids as crossing guards.  It was fun.  We had vests and big wooden poles with a red flag on hit. Respect my authority people, I'm 11!

My kids' elementary school had 5th graders as crossing guards. But not for the busy roads, just the crosswalks on the small side streets adjacent to the school. It was almost as much about kids having some responsibility as it was about keeping the other kids safe. There was one teacher who ran the program but no adults were out helping the kids. DD loved doing it -especially because the got to go to a water park at the end of the year. When DS got to 5th grade the teacher that ran the program stopped doing it and no one else wanted to take over.

For the OP, for me it depends how busy the 25mph highway is. If there are often breaks in traffic, or if there is a stoplight, I'd probably say 6th grade. DS (6th grade) walks 2 miles home with friends. There are no highways but there are busyish roads.

[aspentosh]

I like the idea that VillianV had if you can swing it. See how he does. But if he seems to do well and can pay attention I think 5th grade might be when I start contemplating it. Especially with the lack of crossing guard.

Our ES is just over 1 mile so she normally rides the bus, but has been asking about biking next year. She's the same age so will be in 4th next year. Difference is she's got a few other kids she can go with (from 1st to 5th grade), no crossing of ANY road (only road she would need to cross has an underpass for pedestrians) and there are new dedicated bike lanes on 90% of it. We may allow it in groups but not alone.

[dochas]

It's the impulsive drivers that are the problem, and the most responsible kid in the world can't make up for that. Here the pedestrians have the light and cars just keep turning on red while pedestrians are IN the crosswalk. Cars also routinely run through the crossing guard's stop sign. Don't let anyone pressure you into letting him walk before you're all ready. We have school buses here and if there's a highway on your way to school you get a bus for any distance.