need perspective for 2nd grader's birthday

[sonrisa]

PDQ:


1) would you be comfortable dropping your 2nd grader off at a private screening of a Disney movie or would you want to stay? 

Thanks for letting me vent and for any feedback.

[bronxgirl]

I would definitely be comfortable with drop off at that age.

[isabel]

Invite all the kids. Don’t invite parents/siblings. Hope that as many of them come as possible.

Yes, I would be totally fine dropping off a second grader. I dropped DS1 off at a birthday party this summer (he was newly 6) and felt totally fine with it.

[Patsy Baloney]

I stopped staying for birthday parties when my kid was in K. So many people had them at places - ice cream shops, roller skating, etc. - where you pay by the person. I don’t need you paying $25 for me to sit around and roll my eyes, Carol 😂

I would happily drop off at a theater.

I’d invite the whole class off the top and would plan to plug in adults (or other kid invites) as needed.

I totally understand having a kid who’s kind of an outsider/loner. Mine is in 3rd and I feel like this is the first year I’m hearing names I’ve not heard before and she’s branching out. We strategize ways for her to find a buddy at recess and practice reaching out to others. I think she just feels happy with whatever, including walking around the playground with the recess monitors, but it’s always good to have a meaningful connection with peers.

So, I feel you, and I hope your kiddo has a great party.

[goldengirlz]

I would have LOVED a drop-off birthday at that age. That’s the best part of having an older kid!

As an aside: I was an odd kid who often played by myself at recess in 2nd grade (I know, everyone here is shocked). While it took me until high school to find my people, they (and my college friends) are really some of the best friends a person could have. It’s hard to see our kids struggle, but they usually turn out okay in the end. ❤️

[sandandsea]

I agree. Invite the whole class, no parents. If a parent isn’t comfortable they’ll ask to come and you can say it depends on numbers. Drop off parties are great!

[nancybotwin]

I’ll echo - definitely a drop off party is fine. I have a second grader and a kindergartener and have dropped them each off at parties.

I hope kids come and that the party is great. I was an eccentric kid (though not cool enough to name balls) and like goldengirlz, I found my people in high school. I think those early years - while painful - also set me up for a life of empathy that has served me well as an adult.

[sonrisa]

Nov 25, 2021 0:00:04 GMT -5 Patsy Baloney said:

I I don’t need you paying $25 for me to sit around and roll my eyes, Carol 😂

lol. I feel you there. The "pay to watch the kids do gymnastics" places are obnoxious.

If they'd let me pay per person, I wouldn't even mind paying for any additional parents who actually enjoy seeing the movie (there are always a few Disney/musical/animation buffs in any crowd). I'm going to call and ask Friday just in case. 

[sonrisa]

Thank you for all your thoughts. I'm glad people don't have a knee jerk negative response to a movie theatre drop off.

I think she'll find her people eventually. You can see people going from "ugh, this kid is too much" to "this kid is completely authentic and friendly." I'm just worried about depression and isolation in the interim.

goldengirlz and nancybotwin you give me hope for the future.

[lucybrown]

@sonarisa. Your kid sounds pretty amazing.

This is another quirky oddball checking in. There were many years where I struggled. But, I eventually found my people and they’re so much better than the ones that seemingly just tolerated me. I hope she finds her people soon. ❤️

[dancingirl21]

I have dropped off my 2nd grade DS at many birthday parties and have been totally comfortable with it. I always make sure the parent has my phone number just in case, and go on my merry way.

[morecoffeeplease]

My son is in third grade and I love a drop off party. The only issue I have is I never know if parents want it to be a drop off party or not. He was just invited to a party and I ended up asking. And I was so excited when she said it was drop off LOL.

[Jalapeñomel]

Yes, I would do a drop off. We went to a drop off this year, and my son just turned 8. Definitely invite the whole class.

She will find her people. She will thrive when she does. 🧡 You may be destined to watching terrible renditions of Wicked and Into the Woods though.

[momin2013]

I would invite the whole class (making sure you have enough adults on-hand to supervise) and I would totally expect parents will drop off. We actually did a movie theatre party for DS when he was in kindergarten (so kids aged 5ish - had the whole theatre) and not one parent stayed - it seems like that’s when drop-off parties start around here.

I’m guessing that not all kids will come, but if you invite them all hopefully you’ll end up with a good number.

[Leeham Rimes]

I dropped off x to a similar party in first grade. They were specific that it was a drop off party and that parents could have some time to run errands in the plaza it was in.

[bittybomb]

I had a similar party for my son for his 7th birthday. None of the parents stayed. Have fun!

[sent]

I am going through the birthday party scenario with a shy kid that is new to the school district right now. She's turning 8. In your situation, I'd invite the entire class. For our party, 22 girls were invited (all of soccer and all the girls in her class). If she had not played soccer, I would have invited the entire class. I wrote a detailed letter that due to COVID and limiting exposure to too many people, parents could either hang out in the garage/patio at my house or drop off and pick up. You can write something similar to give parents the hint. I would be OK with drop off and pickup for a 7 or 8 year old's party.

[sadlebred]

Since when did inviting all of the parents and siblings become a thing? When I was a kid-even that young-you only invited your friends.

I think a drop off at that age is fine, especially when there will be 4-6 adults present.

[Jalapeñomel]

Nov 25, 2021 8:09:57 GMT -5 sadlebred said:

Since when did inviting all of the parents and siblings become a thing? When I was a kid-even that young-you only invited your friends.

I think a drop off at that age is fine, especially when there will be 4-6 adults present.

I feel this too. All parties when we were kids were drop off!

[thebreakfastclub]

My son had his 7yo birthday party at a trampoline place. Probably 70% of parents dropped kids off. I did not pay for siblings.

[wildrice]

Nov 25, 2021 0:03:12 GMT -5 goldengirlz said:

I would have LOVED a drop-off birthday at that age. That’s the best part of having an older kid!

As an aside: I was an odd kid who often played by myself at recess in 2nd grade (I know, everyone here is shocked). While it took me until high school to find my people, they (and my college friends) are really some of the best friends a person could have. It’s hard to see our kids struggle, but they usually turn out okay in the end. ❤️

This is me, too. I struggled a lot socially at that age, but as an adult have the best life filled with amazing people. Your kid will be fine! I hope they have a ton of fun on their birthday.

[pizzaandtulips]

Drop off is completely fine. We’ve done drop offs since preschool. I actually gave parents the option of staying or leaving at my son’s 5th birthday party, and I’ve never seen parents run out of a place so quickly!!

[AdaraMarie]

I think drop off is fine at that age but if you need it to be that way for numbers be clear about it on the invite and no one will be surprised.

[InBetweenDays]

DD went to a drop off party like that around that age. We just dropped off with the birthday girls dad at the theater, and picked up at the end. I was more than comfortable with that setup.

I hope whatever you choose she has a fabulous party.

[dancingirl21]

Also wanted to add….

The most recent birthday party my DS went to, the mom put “this is a drop off party” on the invitation, which I so appreciated!

If it’s not specified, I usually reach out to the parent to ask.

[expectantsteelerfan]

It's the norm around here for drop off parties to start around K. A movie theater where you have the whole theater to yourselves is definitely a safe option for that type of party (as opposed to our worst party ever at a local farm with corn mazes and other stuff all spread way out and not enough adult helpers).

I will just add that my bff is having her daughter's bday party at a movie theater next month, and she struggled a lot over what to say about masks/covid. We don't have a mask mandate indoors here except at school. Kids her dd's age are able to be vaccinated, but we live in an area where masks and vaccines are a contentious issue, and some of the parents of kids in her dd's class are suing the school over the mask mandate. But she decided to not serve food at the party and to put on the invite to please wear a mask indoors, and if parents keep their kids home because they don't want to wear a mask, oh well.

But you might live in an area where it's normal for everyone to not wear masks indoors already, or the opposite where everyone still wears masks indoors without being asked to.

[sonrisa]

Nov 25, 2021 7:26:19 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

She will find her people. She will thrive when she does. 🧡 You may be destined to watching terrible renditions of Wicked and Into the Woods though.

oh yes. Yes we do.

[sonrisa]

Nov 25, 2021 10:44:05 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

It's the norm around here for drop off parties to start around K. A movie theater where you have the whole theater to yourselves is definitely a safe option for that type of party (as opposed to our worst party ever at a local farm with corn mazes and other stuff all spread way out and not enough adult helpers).

I will just add that my bff is having her daughter's bday party at a movie theater next month, and she struggled a lot over what to say about masks/covid. We don't have a mask mandate indoors here except at school. Kids her dd's age are able to be vaccinated, but we live in an area where masks and vaccines are a contentious issue, and some of the parents of kids in her dd's class are suing the school over the mask mandate. But she decided to not serve food at the party and to put on the invite to please wear a mask indoors, and if parents keep their kids home because they don't want to wear a mask, oh well.

But you might live in an area where it's normal for everyone to not wear masks indoors already, or the opposite where everyone still wears masks indoors without being asked to.

this never occurred to me but it’s a good point. I think I’ll just say masks are required by the theatre and leave it at that. I don’t think anyone will challenge me. (Technically I think it’s for Unvaxed people and some of the kids will be fully vaxed by then, including her).

[cville]

We did a whole class drop off invite for my son (2nd grade), also for a movie (but on a projector screen in our backyard). He has BIG emotions in a way that can be polarizing and he has a lot of quirky ideas about friendship and relationships generally. I didn't want to try to guess, especially after a pandemic, who is or isn't someone he gets along with. There aren't a lot of years left for whole class parties, so I'm taking advantage. All but 1 kid came, only 1 set of parents stayed , and my son had a fantastic time.

[dochas]

People did not drop off in 2nd grade here. Try to make it clear it's a drop off. I would have loved to drop off but when "it's up to you" or the invite asks for # of adults attending and everyone else stays it feels like you can't leave!