Yes, except I feel it any time I clean. I know the same things are going to need to be cleaned the next day so why do I even bother? Why must my day consist of wiping down the kitchen over and over and over again?
Not really existential dread, but I did a lot of purging and it helped a lot, but the STUFF comes back. So this is how I feel about cleaning in general, I guess. It is kind of like brushing your teeth while eating an Oreo. Even if I do master it and am a great housecleaner, does it really matter? Because it will just get dirty again, and the rest of the family doesn't care as much about clean so they mess it up. I get this way about parts of my job because I take care of one thing and a second later I have to address it again because it is a repetitive task. So I would rather let it build up a little then just constantly be doing it. And I have definitely stopped deep cleaning as much as I used to.
I read some article in Real Simple years ago where someone said they thought about cleaning and organizing as "making love to your stuff." For some reason that stuck with me, and I try to think about that when I'm annoyed about cleaning and taking care of my house.
Sometimes I get legit PISSED when I'm doing that kind of stuff. Like, for some reason it falls to me, and I sort of take it as a lack of respect, if that makes sense? But then I move into a mental space of "if they don't care enough to take care of it, why should I?" And I purge the SHIT out of their rooms.
I did my 14 year old dd's room and bathroom while she was on a trip to DC 2 weeks ago (she had asked for me to do this while she's gone, because she gets substantial anxiety when she has to make a decision about what to do with something). I was dreading it. She's a stasher/"saver," and saves every little scrap of everything. I opened one cabinet on her bed and found dozens of empty toilet paper rolls. Empty tic-tac containers EVERYWHERE. So many little containers, holding other containers, holding shit. But I promised her I wouldn't get rid of anything without asking her first.
I took out 2 trash bags of actual garbage/recycling, have 2 storage bins full of stuff she ok'd to donate, and packed 2 more storage bins full of "things" that I knew she wouldn't want to party with (yet). Took them straight to the basement, and I know she won't go through them for 5 years, but at least they're contained and not cluttering her/my living space. Out of sight, out of mind, and when she is in a mental space to be able to make decisions about them, they likely won't hold the value to her that they do now.
And I binged 3 true crime podcasts while I did it. Probably some psychology thing going on there, but whatever, lol. So maybe approach it like that? Channel your anger and be ruthless.
One the one hand, I think it's BS that housework has been denigrated by our achievement-oriented society as pointless and mindless. It's important to have basic sanitariness in your home, and it's good to be organized, have your bills paid, make doctor and dentist appointments, etc. And I sort of like simple tasks because it allows me to think my thoughts, so housework is basically "down" time for me.
On the other, just like I'm not really into makeup or fashion, I don't care a whole lot about appearances around the house. I'm not here on this earth to create a fabulous, Instagram-worthy life. I take an hour a day to do household tasks, and an hour a day to cook, no more. If something more needs to be done around the house, I ask the rest of the family to chip in. Having a small house and a simple life helps a lot.
DotAndBuzz , that's how I was about vacuuming. I would rage vacuum because I was the only one doing it every week, so then DH got me a roomba ha ha. But it did solve my rage vacuuming problems. My rage cleaning in general has gotten better probably a combo of the family helping more and me caring less about cleanliness.
ETA- I agree about making it seem like home cleaning is worthless for various reasons. I often felt like I was polishing a turd. But I will say, our house definitely became a sanctuary during the pandemic, and I know that was not true for many people for various reasons. But for us it was due to the size, layout, organization and cleanliness of the house even when the house was not super clean it had been maintained well enough to be appreciated. And when I go away on vacation and come back I am always like oh you are a pretty house when the rest of the time I don't see it because it isn't perfectly clean.
Post by wanderingback on Apr 7, 2022 12:33:08 GMT -5
Also, can someone explain the title, I’ve never heard the phrase "The Anti home edit." Is that a phrase for people who don’t like cleaning their homes?
Also, can someone explain the title, I’ve never heard the phrase "The Anti home edit." Is that a phrase for people who don’t like cleaning their homes?
“the home edit” is an organizing brand (they have a Netflix show - I love them lol). So anti- home edit would be similar to anti Marie Kondo etc
I refuse to spend hours and hours. I spend about 1 hour per day. In the morning about 30 minutes making beds and picking up a few things and then after dinner about 30 minutes. Anytime it starts to take longer than that I grab a carboard box and start filling it up with shit to get rid of.
On top of that I do 2-3 load of laundry a week, but I'd say that really only takes about 15-20 minutes of my attention per load.
And we have cleaners that come every other week so I spend 30 minutes picking up before that. They're here about 2 hours.
I think simplifying is key. And also...only touch things once. Just get them where they need to go the first time you pick it up.
I hate cleaning. And I get furious when I clean the bathroom. Part of it for me is that in between kind of clean doesn't increase my happiness. If it isn't perfect then it just looks a wreck to me so any time spent "tidying" feels like a huge infringement on my time and I would rather spend it reading or sitting on the couch. I look back so fondly on living single in an apartment that was empty all day and lightly used in the evenings. LOL It was immaculate.
Now we're in an 1100 square foot ranch. Horder child. 80 lb dog. No entryway at either door. Literal dirt tracked in. The second I mop the dog takes a drink and drips water throughout the house. Yes, we fight to maintain sanitary conditions but it is a continuous battle that will never be finished so the pile that accumulates on the table growing ever larger barely even registers for me.
I did have a moment yesterday. I recently purged and reorganised the books on our built ins last weekend. I took a book off the shelf and it was all so perfect that I paused and ran my hand over the spines. But scrubbing away at our old bathroom brings me no joy whatsover.
My husband recently started a side business and somehow that has resulted in so many shipping boxes in my dining room. I've pretty much given up in that room and just enter it occasionally. I also hate scrubbing. I keep my shower looking clean, but it needs a full on scrub way more than I am motivated to spend 30 minutes scrubbing it out.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Apr 7, 2022 15:30:21 GMT -5
Yes. Especially about the state of our muddy puppy paw covered wood floors. I have 2 dogs, and we moved to a house with a fenced back yard and put in a dog door this past summer, and I seriously thought that choice changed my life so much for the better because I no longer felt beholden to getting up and letting the dogs in and out half the day. And during the summer it was fine, and honestly during the winter it was fine too. But during the fall (which was short), and now during the spring (which has been never ending), my floor has been constantly covered with muddy puppy paws and even if I mopped every day, it would still be covered because they go in and out all day long.
I hate cleaning - we have someone who cleans but they only come every other week (sometimes monthly depending on time of year) so the in between weeks kill me. I am very much a clean as I go type person and no one else in my house operates this way and it is so bothersome.
I also think that things have their place and they should be put back there but again, I'm the only one. So if I did any of this bin stuff or turntables or anything like that it would just cause me angst because I would be the only one that follows it and then I say why bother??
I read some article in Real Simple years ago where someone said they thought about cleaning and organizing as "making love to your stuff." For some reason that stuck with me, and I try to think about that when I'm annoyed about cleaning and taking care of my house.
“Making love to your stuff” is definitely not a phrase that elicits a positive reaction from me.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Apr 7, 2022 17:29:19 GMT -5
I feel it less now than when my kids were little and they would swooping in behind me as I cleaned, tossing folded laundry under the bed, pouring out a river of legos WHILE bickering over who got to make the railroad bridge go up on their wooden track set that I had to Mommy mom mom mommy mom come wipe me …
Also, can someone explain the title, I’ve never heard the phrase "The Anti home edit." Is that a phrase for people who don’t like cleaning their homes?
There was a thread below about "home edit" and color coordinating your kitchen, decanting your milk, special urns for your detergent and all that. I love the look of homes where someone has done that. So pretty and neat.
However, if *I* actually put in anything approaching that level of effort I come away feeling like I have completely lost it. I don't feel that way about others. Their efforts seem to work. Mine feel pointless. perhaps because I never get to that pretty point others do.
Also, can someone explain the title, I’ve never heard the phrase "The Anti home edit." Is that a phrase for people who don’t like cleaning their homes?
There was a thread below about "home edit" and color coordinating your kitchen, decanting your milk, special urns for your detergent and all that. I love the look of homes where someone has done that. So pretty and neat.
However, if *I* actually put in anything approaching that level of effort I come away feeling like I have completely lost it. I don't feel that way about others. Their efforts seem to work. Mine feel pointless. perhaps because I never get to that pretty point others do.
So, I don’t do any of the stuff in the other thread, zero! What does make me happy is an organized, minimalistic, and clean house. I think, at least partly, it’s my anxiety and obsessive thoughts that drive this. Sometimes I feel like I can’t have fun until I have purged my house. I love to get rid of stuff and am ruthless. I like to know exactly what is in my house, in every drawer, closet, etc. I don’t like having stuff I don’t need or use. I need to have my house, purse and car all organized.
We have a housekeeper, but have to do a good bit in between, mostly b/c of 4 animals!
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I read some article in Real Simple years ago where someone said they thought about cleaning and organizing as "making love to your stuff." For some reason that stuck with me, and I try to think about that when I'm annoyed about cleaning and taking care of my house.
“Making love to your stuff” is definitely not a phrase that elicits a positive reaction from me.
Also, can someone explain the title, I’ve never heard the phrase "The Anti home edit." Is that a phrase for people who don’t like cleaning their homes?
There was a thread below about "home edit" and color coordinating your kitchen, decanting your milk, special urns for your detergent and all that. I love the look of homes where someone has done that. So pretty and neat.
However, if *I* actually put in anything approaching that level of effort I come away feeling like I have completely lost it. I don't feel that way about others. Their efforts seem to work. Mine feel pointless. perhaps because I never get to that pretty point others do.
I think I'm just fundamentally different than people who do that. For my mom, it is truly a calming and coping thing. I vividly remember her furiously completing her ironing stack as a hurricane approached, before we lost power, shrieking as she watched projectiles start to fly while standing in from of a sliding glass door. I was hanging out in my room with the shutters applied in near blackout furiously reading. Different strokes.
I like semblances of organization. Like objects with like. Folded clothes. But if it's too neat and organized, I feel unsettled and will purposefully mess something small up.
There was a thread below about "home edit" and color coordinating your kitchen, decanting your milk, special urns for your detergent and all that. I love the look of homes where someone has done that. So pretty and neat.
However, if *I* actually put in anything approaching that level of effort I come away feeling like I have completely lost it. I don't feel that way about others. Their efforts seem to work. Mine feel pointless. perhaps because I never get to that pretty point others do.
I think I'm just fundamentally different than people who do that. For my mom, it is truly a calming and coping thing. I vividly remember her furiously completing her ironing stack as a hurricane approached, before we lost power, shrieking as she watched projectiles start to fly while standing in from of a sliding glass door. I was hanging out in my room with the shutters applied in near blackout furiously reading. Different strokes.
I like semblances of organization. Like objects with like. Folded clothes. But if it's too neat and organized, I feel unsettled and will purposefully mess something small up.
Ha! This hits home for me! We go nuts washing any and everything that can go in a washing machine or dishwasher before a hurricane, and cleaning the house. In part, in case you lose power, and in part b/c you have no control, so you control your surrounding, AND stock the fuck up on alcohol.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Also, can someone explain the title, I’ve never heard the phrase "The Anti home edit." Is that a phrase for people who don’t like cleaning their homes?
There was a thread below about "home edit" and color coordinating your kitchen, decanting your milk, special urns for your detergent and all that. I love the look of homes where someone has done that. So pretty and neat.
However, if *I* actually put in anything approaching that level of effort I come away feeling like I have completely lost it. I don't feel that way about others. Their efforts seem to work. Mine feel pointless. perhaps because I never get to that pretty point others do.
Well I think to be clear that their level of effort is extra not the norm. And while some of their clients are normal folk, there are a lot of ultra rich celebrities also.
We decant a few things, but I would feel kind of nuts if I had to decant everything. The things we are decanting are to make them fit the pantry better and long term storage baking items, for example. I don't see the point of decanting kids granola bars that will be eaten in 4 days anyway except maybe to avoid the empty box sitting in the pantry. It has to make sense for me to put in all that effort. And ours isn't that pretty, the main benefit is just that the containers fit better in our limited storage areas. We have not bothered to tackle the refrigerator.
I read OP as how cleaning is a trigger for existential dread? I don't get that while cleaning but I sometimes get that with meal planning or looking through my past orders in amazon etc. It's a weird feeling of wow, I'm going to be doing this till I die.
It helps to remind myself that I don't have to and I can outsource (or ignore) it for as long as I need if I need mental space. And I try not to dwell on it and use humor copiously to deal.
I think I'm just fundamentally different than people who do that. For my mom, it is truly a calming and coping thing. I vividly remember her furiously completing her ironing stack as a hurricane approached, before we lost power, shrieking as she watched projectiles start to fly while standing in from of a sliding glass door. I was hanging out in my room with the shutters applied in near blackout furiously reading. Different strokes.
I like semblances of organization. Like objects with like. Folded clothes. But if it's too neat and organized, I feel unsettled and will purposefully mess something small up.
Ha! This hits home for me! We go nuts washing any and everything that can go in a washing machine or dishwasher before a hurricane, and cleaning the house. In part, in case you lose power, and in part b/c you have no control, so you control your surrounding, AND stock the fuck up on alcohol.
Oh, absolutely there's a checklist to complete before loss of power and water like washing and dishes.
But, ironing? Really? That's where I say we are fundamentally different people. Post-hurricane last thing I care about is pressed shorts. Yeah, she irons my dad's shorts even though he gives no fucks
My dad has right priorities. He fires up the generator and gives wifi to neighbors. Cannot live without data!
They don't do proper alcohol, either. Lifelong Floridians failing at what matters.
I read some article in Real Simple years ago where someone said they thought about cleaning and organizing as "making love to your stuff." For some reason that stuck with me, and I try to think about that when I'm annoyed about cleaning and taking care of my house.
I don't understand what "making love to your stuff means" and how it helps when you're annoyed.
I read OP as how cleaning is a trigger for existential dread? I don't get that while cleaning but I sometimes get that with meal planning
Omg meal planning gets me every week. Like how is it already a new week and we needed a whole new list of food and meals?! I just did this what feels like a day ago.
But yes I totally get this OP. I'm also a SAHM and feel like my entire life at points is an endless cycle of cooking and cleaning with sometimes not much else in between.
Post by mysteriouswife on Apr 8, 2022 18:05:53 GMT -5
We hired someone to come clean the bathrooms and floors. I could not handle the stress and anxiety. Lately everything is when we get to it. In my adult life I have never lived in such a cluttered disorganized mess. I think my cleaning person felt bad for me the other day and she cleaned my kitchen and folded laundry. She is a friend of a friend and knows my mental health and work load. H is doing most of everything. We are not okay in the Mysterious house
I definitely felt like this during the early days of the pandemic. I didn’t have a housekeeper. We were home all the time, making a mess and eating. It felt like I cleaned the kitchen 100x a day and I was miserable.