Those of you who want your kids to take a gap year and travel the world, are you funding that?
Not a 19th century style European Grand Tour or anything, but I'd support them in getting a 6 month job abroad in agricultural development, or some kind of internship or structured volunteer service, or an intensive language program abroad. They'd have to hand a plan for it beyond "backpacking through the Himalayas" or living at home and waiting tables. I would want it to have some kind of meaning and benefit, otherwise they might as well start college, even with an undeclared major.
I can understand the statement purely from a financial perspective. Taking on hundreds of thousands in student loans for a degree that does not earn enough to pay them back without a degree of difficulty does not make financial sense. I know it’s not a popular opinion and all degrees contribute to society and are important, but so is making sure your 17 or 18 year old understands the financial piece before they commit to loans that big.
Paying for your child’s tuition so that they aren’t saddled with loans therefore giving them a leg up as they start their adult life is a luxury for most people. Being realistic about cost and Job prospects is another way to do something similar.
Sure, but to say you can study whatever you want except teaching seems pretty rough if your child wants to be a teacher. We need good teachers, and one doesn’t have to pay $60k to get a degree in education.
You can have a frank discussion about the cost of college, have your child go to a less expensive school, have them start in CC and transfer, but to say you won’t pay for a teaching degree but anything else is ok?
Edit: maybe I’m reading the post wrong and she’s saying she’d pay for in-state school for whatever (including teaching) but out of state for only STEM fields?
Maybe I totally misread that. I thought she meant it would tough for her to encourage a high debt school choice with a lower paying career path choice. Not a reflection of the career, but more the potential debt from school
But like wanderingback mentioned, teachers sometimes make almost as much, or more than physicians. I know the teachers in my town make more than first year attendings at some hospitals (like mine) in some specialties.
Sure, but to say you can study whatever you want except teaching seems pretty rough if your child wants to be a teacher. We need good teachers, and one doesn’t have to pay $60k to get a degree in education.
You can have a frank discussion about the cost of college, have your child go to a less expensive school, have them start in CC and transfer, but to say you won’t pay for a teaching degree but anything else is ok?
Edit: maybe I’m reading the post wrong and she’s saying she’d pay for in-state school for whatever (including teaching) but out of state for only STEM fields?
Maybe I totally misread that. I thought she meant it would tough for her to encourage a high debt school choice with a lower paying career path choice. Not a reflection of the career, but more the potential debt from school
But like wanderingback mentioned, teachers sometimes make almost as much, or more than physicians. I know the teachers in my town make more than first year attendings at some hospitals (like mine) in some specialties.
But there wouldn't be debt since tuition would be paid.
I thought she meant she wouldn't pay that much for the college experience for a lower-salary career. So, not debt, but her own investment. But I could certainly be wrong!
I also thought I posted in this thread already, but I must have deleted my response by mistake. I know the board skews toward higher incomes, but I'm still wide-eyed at how many people are confident about paying for everything. Amazing!
We'll definitely help a lot (529s are off to a very good start and we'll have no mortgage), but it's tough to say whether we'll be equipped to cover it all, because I have no idea where they'll want to go or how much tuition, etc. will cost then. I will do my best to get them off to a financially stable start, and that will include financial help in addition to real talk about their options and the consequences of various choices/scenarios.
I have mixed feelings about the benefits of paying for absolutely everything. I'm wary of entitlement, though I know working against that begins long before they reach college age. And while that doesn't mean I want to saddle them with debt to teach them a lesson, I don't think having them contribute is a bad thing. If we can afford it all, we will gladly avoid loans but possibly have them contribute something from savings or by working a reasonable number of hours while in school. I don't know. It's to make absolutely statements about this stuff with so many unknowns at play. I mean, I have a hunch they will both go to college, but who knows what could change between now and then?
My parents covered a lot for me, but I also had financial aid, numerous scholarships, work-study jobs, and some loans. My loans were minimal, and I was able to pay them off by my fifth year out of school, but they gave me some skin in the game, which I really don't think was a bad thing. Of course, I recognize I was fortunate enough to be making enough right out of school that the loan payments weren't a terrible burden and didn't drag on forever. Also, I'm a weirdo, but I had and continue to have some guilt for the amount of money my parents shelled out. lol (I hope my girls won't feel this way, and I don't think they will since they're not really wired like that. Just mentioning it because it's true.) My H's family paid for his undergrad, and while grateful, I'm sure he felt zero guilt. (I'm being a little TIC, but I certainly don't think anyone needs to feel guilty!) All that help definitely put us in an incredibly advantageous position with respect to building our savings, buying our first homes, etc.
I haven't really considered a gap year and how we'd handle that. I'd need to see how my girls develop in personality and maturity (for lack of a better word, though I'm not sure that's exactly and completely what I mean) before I saying with enthusiasm that I'd love the idea. I really wish I'd been more mature and confident when I went off to college, but I'm not convinced a gap year would have had that effect on me. I think I'd have had some cool experiences and perhaps developed my brain further in some ways, but I think it was more time than specific experiences that finally led to the kind of mental maturity that would have really helped me in college. I like to joke that I was finally ready to really excel at and benefit from the college experience around age 35. I'm 43 now and would love a do-over!
Uhhhh... I get not wanting to pay out of state tuition but this statement is making me feel some kind of way.
I can understand the statement purely from a financial perspective. Taking on hundreds of thousands in student loans for a degree that does not earn enough to pay them back without a degree of difficulty does not make financial sense. I know it’s not a popular opinion and all degrees contribute to society and are important, but so is making sure your 17 or 18 year old understands the financial piece before they commit to loans that big.
Paying for your child’s tuition so that they aren’t saddled with loans therefore giving them a leg up as they start their adult life is a luxury for most people. Being realistic about cost and Job prospects is another way to do something similar.
Me too. I have friends/colleagues who went to private grad schools for their MSW. Tulane used to be 30k/year back in the day. They were coming out with over 60k in loans, it’s like being at the bottom of a well. Now, state school would be a different story.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Those of you who want your kids to take a gap year and travel the world, are you funding that?
If my kids take a gap year, which I think would be great, they are paying for that. They'll have to get a job and find another place to live. Responsibility for those things, I think, will help them understand more about the "real" world, which might help them appreciate college a little more when they go.
To answer Pilsy's question of how we can be confident we can pay for college, well, we can't, lol. We were until very recently living slightly below the middle-class average for a family of four, so we do not have huge college savings, although we have enough right now to pay for four years at our state school. But we project we'll have about one year's tuition for the most expensive colleges in five years when our kid is a freshman, so one quarter of the cost. We plan to cash flow one quarter (because I will go back to work in the next few years, and all of that will go to tuition), probably get grants for one quarter or more, and take out loans for the rest. IF they go to a fancy school. We might even take out a loan against our house, which has gone up $200K in value. Is that wise? I don't know. I just know we'll make it happen somehow. I had to work three jobs sometimes when I was in school, and I'd rather do that again myself than make my kids do it.
We have college savings plans and I think they will cover in state tuition, but not anything Ivy League lol. We haven’t decided what to do if there’s still a balance. I’d prefer to take out a loan vs having our kids graduate with debt. Both me and my husband went in state and graduated with no debt. We were able to buy a home and build our savings much earlier than most of our friends. I want to be able to do the same for my kids.
SD21 is a college junior. We aren't in a position to pay for her tuition but she lived with us for 2 years (now lives in an apartment with her boyfriend). H and exW had kids very young, didn't set aside any savings.
SD19 doesn't want to go to college, maybe she will later in life but judging from her senior year grades I don't think she is ready/could hack it. She tried to go into the Navy, that didn't work out but she just passed the firefighter testing so she will be joining the fire department.
DS9 has a college fund, there's not a lot in it. Im not sure he will go either. H, SD19, and DS9 all have ADHD and haven't done well in school. DS is the only one who was diagnosed in school and receiving treatment/support but he loathes school. Sooo we will see how he turns out.
Just found out at Family Night at the firehouse that a nearby college gives college credit for the training she will do, so she will be able to get half her associates done just by doing the training and the fire dept does tuition reimbursement so SWEET. SD19 has a path!
Post by nextbigthing on Aug 19, 2022 6:24:49 GMT -5
My dad told me he'd pay for college, room and board if I got a solid degree that would pay me well after graduation and if I went to a reasonably priced school comparable to state school prices. Otherwise he'd give me a set amount of money and I had to come up with the rest. I worked as an RA my soph-senior years so that gave me free room.
I went to a great state school as an out of state student but it was comparable in price to my in state state school cost and ended up with a business degree.
SD21 is a college junior. We aren't in a position to pay for her tuition but she lived with us for 2 years (now lives in an apartment with her boyfriend). H and exW had kids very young, didn't set aside any savings.
SD19 doesn't want to go to college, maybe she will later in life but judging from her senior year grades I don't think she is ready/could hack it. She tried to go into the Navy, that didn't work out but she just passed the firefighter testing so she will be joining the fire department.
DS9 has a college fund, there's not a lot in it. Im not sure he will go either. H, SD19, and DS9 all have ADHD and haven't done well in school. DS is the only one who was diagnosed in school and receiving treatment/support but he loathes school. Sooo we will see how he turns out.
Just found out at Family Night at the firehouse that a nearby college gives college credit for the training she will do, so she will be able to get half her associates done just by doing the training and the fire dept does tuition reimbursement so SWEET. SD19 has a path!
Yes! My H got about 30 credits for his training. Some was from fire training and some was EMS training.
Uhhhh... I get not wanting to pay out of state tuition but this statement is making me feel some kind of way.
We actually agree with is too. Only bc we think it would be wasteful to pay for an expensive private school when there’s state schools right in our back yard that have excellent reputations for education (West Chester Univ. for example). I mean, it’s not a hard and fast rule, it’s just a discussion point.
Sure. But for me it's the we'll pay a higher ticket price for some fields and not others. The way the OP reads it's not about putting a higher debt on the student because they said they would pay.
Post by jillybean222 on Aug 19, 2022 13:41:11 GMT -5
Yikes, I don't know. We haven't specifically planned for college expenses but I am pretty sure the grandparents have. We have the only 3 grandchildren and they have more than enough money and no plans to spend it (they are both 80 now).
Post by wanderingback on Aug 19, 2022 20:18:41 GMT -5
Also, who wants to see their kids miserable?
I have 2 family members (siblings) that went to school for the arts. They are now professionals in their respective fields. One has done really well for himself financially, the other is doing fine and supporting himself, but not rolling in dough. If their parents forced them to be engineering majors, or whatever, they both would be miserable people. Obviously as a parent you’re free to spend your money however you want, but I think telling kids they need to get a "well paying degree" in order for you to pay is not a good look.