My parents pay. They much prefer traveling with us and their only grandkid. I realize my unique situation, but it is what it is today.
When we were younger this was the only way were were able to afford a vacation with little kids. They wanted us to come with them, but we were on limited income. they would always cover the cost of the condo and some of the meals. I think there was even a time they gave us money toward our flight.
I think this thread is good because it is transparent how people are doing this.
When we travel I book as far in advance as possible. For example I booked my tickets from Boston to Madrid for august this year in October 2022 for $2700 (4 direct flights). I checked and it’s now $5k for the same tickets. When we get there we are renting a vw camper van which isn’t “cheap” (110/night) but it’s cheaper than hotels.
We always fly coach, and the most cheap version of economy (we don’t check bags)
Cheap hotels (not gross but like, no frills)
We also do a lot of camping in warm weather and for skiing we joined a communal ski club. It’s not for everyone but it’s the cheapest way to be able to ski all winter.
Like I said though we do have a household income well above “average” which is really the main reason we can travel.
Post by litskispeciality on Jan 27, 2023 11:42:53 GMT -5
DH and I are DINKS who make a pretty decent living. Other than (too much) take-out we try to really live below our means. We drive "old" cars, we never go out because of our schedules. We try to take one big trip a year, although no where near as extravagant as OP mentioned. We try to do a couple of shorter weekends away too.
What we do, and what really worked well when we were younger and had less money was budget for a trip a year or two in advance. When we were saving up for our wedding and honeymoon (we paid ourselves) I said we have to save X amount over Y months. I was "lucky" enough to be able to work OT on Saturdays, so I tried to pick up OT every other week until they took that away. It sucked, but I met my portion of the financial goal.
I think also having the goal of travel, and an idea of how much to save every month really helps motivate you to say not eat take out, not do as many fun disposable incoming activities because you know you're saving it for a bigger goal.
Cheap hotels help. In theory you're most likely spending the time there showering and sleeping, why do you need frills? I was trying to build up hotel points too, but then COVID so I have to start over again. I had a friend who stayed at the same place every year, and basically washed out one night the next year with "free" rooms.
Finally, when we're traveling we'll try to shop for snacks or pack them ahead of time. Not having kids we can afford to go lighter on lunch to save some money. Take leftovers from dinner back to the hotel for the next day etc. DH also loves complimentary breakfast, and will try to find a hotel with this option. Load up in the morning, hopefully only pay for one meal at night.
Post by litskispeciality on Jan 27, 2023 11:46:41 GMT -5
Also going back to not going as far...I have a huge list of places like CA, Europe etc. that I want to see, but after COVID the idea of getting on a plane and giving up a whole day to flying somewhere is overwhelming. Secretly I was happy our trip to FL got cancelled last year with one of the hurricanes, and kind of wish we could have had a cash refund instead of points because I don't think I'll be able to, or want to fly before the credits expire.
Staying more local (let's say within 5 hours), driving a relatively decent gas mileage car helps a bit. Only bummer for us is that it's best for me to travel in the fall, and the warm places are a 14+ hour car ride away so we just go from cold and probably rainy to cold and probably rainy.
litskispeciality , yes we have no problem going on local weekend trips, but it's kind of like what's the point during the months of Dec-Feb. We've done it before many times and inevitably there is always a huge snowstorm that involves white knuckling it during the drive. Now with kid sports there is a game every Saturday anyway. So even weekend trips are doable but harder.
Once we factor in nice weather than road construction and traffic season sets in. So there is no winning really, but we do try to get out when we can, and resign ourselves that certain parts will be not ideal. And we don't travel Friday nights after work anymore.
DH used to travel a ton so we got lots of miles from that, we got a companion pass and he got hotel points. He’s still travels some but not as much. We both have Southwest credit cards so we use those for everything and get miles for those. We have a time share and use that for a big trip usually once a year, using miles for the plane tickets. Once we’re there we don’t eat out a ton.
We usually do long weekends to driveable locations, and stay with credit card points. I have an IHG card for the points, which includes Holiday Inns. They aren't the fanciest, but kids eat free for all meals at most locations, and there is a free breakfast for everyone. I would say we do 1-3 of those a year. (both kids birthdays, plus maybe one other). We are fortunate that a lot of big vacation areas are easy drives for us (NYC, the beach, DC).
We stay in hotels for 1-2 nights a few times a year for DD's dance competitions and those Holiday Inns are where it's at these days. They have a great free breakfast. I had no idea until it was kind of our only option at one comp and now we always pick Holiday Inn if we can. Who knew?
For the OP, it comes down to this for us: - high income - DH travels for work (much less than pre-covid, great for our day to day but a bummer for our points!) - CC points for his work travel - stick to one hotel brand as much as possible. DH stays at Marriott properties for work, I pick Holiday Inn if I can or Marriott if I can't when traveling without him - stick to one airline as much as possible - not as much as we used to now that DD is older and busy but we used to tag along on DH's work trips and extend them. He used to go to San Francisco a lot so DD and I would go several times a year. With his flight and hotel/transportation covered, it made the trips pretty cheap. We did Disney this way when DD was 6; he had a conference so his company paid for all of our stay at the Beach Club plus his flight and park tickets for part of the trip. Huge perk!
litskispeciality , yes we have no problem going on local weekend trips, but it's kind of like what's the point during the months of Dec-Feb. We've done it before many times and inevitably there is always a huge snowstorm that involves white knuckling it during the drive. Now with kid sports there is a game every Saturday anyway. So even weekend trips are doable but harder.
Once we factor in nice weather than road construction and traffic season sets in. So there is no winning really, but we do try to get out when we can, and resign ourselves that certain parts will be not ideal. And we don't travel Friday nights after work anymore.
Yeah even without kids weekends away are so hard. My DH works a LOT of weekends, and his work has changed the policy that only one person can be out at a time. March is totally out for us because everyone else has taken the weekends. DH has thrown out April, but if I'm still at my current job that will be hard for me to travel, even taking a Th/Fri or Fri/Mon. Also April has a lot of school vacations in my area. I don't mind kids, but our April travel always means tons of kids around when we want an adult only vacation for just a couple of days. If one more person says "well then don't travel over school vacation", that varies for 3 weeks because of neighboring states I'll lose my sh!t.
I'm also afraid to travel in the winter, which thanks to climate change is like April in my area. I will bet my paycheck that there will be a major storm if I drive or fly in those months. Even driving without a storm, just to go to a snowy area has kind of sucked. Oh and people then tell me not to travel during hurricane season (Oct), but like bruh I'm running out of options! Plus sometimes I like to travel when it's less busy, crazy thought.
Travel is a big priority for us, and we're extremely lucky to have the disposable income to allow for it. We live in a modest home and drive modest cars to continue to afford to travel. Also, my H travels for work and is an avid travel hacker / credit card promotion redeemer. We make the most of accrued points by planning far in advance and only using them when we can get the best redemption values.
According to Mint, we spent $9255 on travel in 2022, excluding food.
I realize that is a lot of money, but we stretched it pretty far:
Total:
49 nights (40 nights paid) 5 roundtrip US flights for 4 people + 5 trips needed rental car = $9255
I realize this level of travel is not an option for most people, for a lot of reasons.
If we had to cut back on travel due to time/budget, I think I would rather do several short local getaways than one big blowout trip. Renting a big AirBNB with a couple families is a great way to have a nice vacation on a budget. Those are some of our favorite, most memorable trips - probably more so than the bigger / fancier vacations.
Post by litebright on Jan 27, 2023 13:55:42 GMT -5
I have some occasional travel envy, too. We have the money to do it, now, but DH works a ton, I work a ton and we just aren't ever going to be the people who jet off somewhere international for fun several times a year. Home is our happy place and if we travel, it tends to involve family because we live far from them. Since we got married in 2005, we have had exactly two vacations (three if you count our honeymoon, lol) that didn't involve traveling with or to our extended family. We went to the Bahamas twice with my family (my parents mostly paid) and have done OBX and FL with his family (split lodging and food costs), but they have been fairly close to home for the most part. Traveling with or to family also cuts down on costs because of shared meals, staying with relatives, splitting hotel rooms or an Airbnb house so we can buy food/cook meals, etc.
We had planned our first big "nuclear" family trip to do a ton of things in northern CA in summer 2020. That had to all be cancelled because covid. This year we are trying again, with a trip to Hawaii for spring break with our kids. DH flies so much for work (he went to Hawaii twice last year for work, actually) that he paid for all four of our airfares with points, which means the whole trip is way more affordable than it would otherwise be and we can do things like stay at a nicer resort, plan a few more activities, etc.
But like most other people have said, it's priorities too. Last year we chose to put in a pool/outdoor living space. Could we have done years of great vacations instead? Yep. We debated that, or maybe buying a vacation home. But ultimately we decided that a pool right outside our door was a better choice to give us the most enjoyment versus anything that involved us having to leave home.
mrsmayhem, do both of you work? If I subtract weekends it is still 30 days approximately that you both have to concurrently take off of full time jobs which can be difficult for a lot of people who don't have super flexible jobs.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
One other thought: shit is just really expensive right now. I don’t know if it will ever go back down. Every “normal” trip I price out ends up being 10K. We’re trying to plan something special for my H’s 40th this year and it has gone from France to Hawaii to a cross-country train to a road trip to, “Maybe we’ll have a bbq in the back yard?”
Ok, not that bad, but everything is $$$$$.
Yes! We are on the west coast so going to Hawaii is an easy trip. We would go to Maui once or twice a year. I haven’t gone since covid and looked up the hotel we just stayed in 2020. It is now $1,300 a night for a normal room! (Grand wailea). Faints.
I had the same sticker shock. We were thinking about a trip to Maui last spring and wanted to return to the Grand Wailea until I looked up the current rates.
mrsmayhem , do both of you work? If I subtract weekends it is still 30 days approximately that you both have to concurrently take off of full time jobs which can be difficult for a lot of people who don't have super flexible jobs.
I am a SAHM and my H has a generous vacation policy + the ability to do some work remotely. We pretty much travel during all of our kids' school breaks and for a few weeks each summer. We are very aware that the time off and flexibility of schedule is a luxury in itself.
mrsmayhem - that is an impressive amount of vacation for the total $$!!
For real. Knowing what I spent for one 8-night trip last summer (with flights, car, air bnb), I am in awe of doing 7 weeks worth of those types of trips for under 10k.
mrsmayhem your H's travel hacking is super impressive.
mrsmayhem - that is an impressive amount of vacation for the total $$!!
For real. Knowing what I spent for one 8-night trip last summer (with flights, car, air bnb), I am in awe of doing 7 weeks worth of those types of trips for under 10k.
mrsmayhem your H's travel hacking is super impressive.
Very impressed. We just spent the same amount on one trip to Mexico for 7 days for 5 people. (Flights, hotel, food)
When I posted this question before, not on this board, I got a lot of answers on how their parents or relatives pay for that trip. Since it has only been mentioned in one post in this thread, I thought I would mention it again. If you see a large group family trip on social media, yeah it is possible that everyone split everything evenly, but also equally possible that they drove and then the matriarch/ patriarch paid for the lodging and/ or possibly airline tickets also.
I don't think we talk enough about generational wealth, and not just that generational wealth but also the kind where people graduate with no student debt because their parents paid for college, etc. Since we are in the Midwest, everyone around here has a lake house. But what they don't say is that the lake house is their parents' house that they go to for free, or that they inherited it. No one has actually bought their own lake house. It’s all part of that generational wealth that people claim as their own wealth.
This is so true. I have one friend who goes to Aruba for a week every year and I recently found out her parents pay for everything except airfare (still not cheap, but much cheaper than paying for the entire trip). Last year airfare was high so they paid for half of that too. My other friend has done 2 big Disney trips in the last couple years and again, parents paid for most of it. My family is not like this, so it was surprising to me how common it is.
The other thing that has surprised me is how many people I know whose parents gave them significant money towards their houses. Many of my friends got most of their down payment from their parents. My friend put a $200k addition on her house and I found out later her and her H’s parents each gave them $50k (plus more when it went overbudget).
I agree with the person who mentioned this thread is great for transparency. I always wondered how people seemed to have so much more money than we do. It makes a lot more sense with that information. A lot of friends also have the lake/summer houses in the family too. Summers are hard because I feel like everyone travels so much more than us. But we pay for everything ourselves so it makes sense.
mrsmayhem - that is an impressive amount of vacation for the total $$!!
For real. Knowing what I spent for one 8-night trip last summer (with flights, car, air bnb), I am in awe of doing 7 weeks worth of those types of trips for under 10k.
mrsmayhem your H's travel hacking is super impressive.
It takes some work and careful tracking, but it definitely pays off! Recently he even went to the extreme of decoupling our mortgage and annual taxes/insurance escrow so that we could just pay it on a credit card to earn the points.
Re: parents paying, we often end up paying something for our parents to join us for travel. That way we have some help with the kids and it feels more like an actual vacation. But my parent's 50th wedding anniversary is next year, and they do plan to pay for lodging for a trip for everyone, which will be awesome.
Like a PP said, my parents were both public sector employees and we didn't travel when I was a kid. But now that they have pensions and social security + a paid off house, they travel a lot.
noodleoo , My parents don't pay for anything and neither do DH's family. My mom does have a lake house, but it is more like an old trailer on the lake and she will note every crumb that is out of order. It is so old that everything has to be done a specific way. So we basically don't really go there anymore. Plus it is an 8 hour hour drive for us.
The only time when my family paid for me was my grandparents. I think they are far more generous than my mom is. They paid for us to fly to Florida to visit them every year. It was a wonderful gift and I remember those trips very fondly nowadays. My mom, despite inheriting their money would never pay for my family of 4 to go anywhere. In fact, she usually expects us to pay for lodging because of the 4 to 1 ratio which would be fine, but she is a complainer that is difficult to travel with and often getting more rooms means a higher price, and she doesn't want to share a bed with a kid. She had to do that in Hawaii because there was no guarantee of separate beds, but it was a King, so they were fine.
ETA- She doesn't understand why she isn't invited on trips anymore, but one of them was a 2 bedroom house that the kids had to share the bedroom. There are no options for bigger houses in the area. The other one would have been fine, but then the kids would still have to share and they are starting to get too old to share (12 year old boy and 10 year old girl).
When I posted this question before, not on this board, I got a lot of answers on how their parents or relatives pay for that trip. Since it has only been mentioned in one post in this thread, I thought I would mention it again. If you see a large group family trip on social media, yeah it is possible that everyone split everything evenly, but also equally possible that they drove and then the matriarch/ patriarch paid for the lodging and/ or possibly airline tickets also.
I don't think we talk enough about generational wealth, and not just that generational wealth but also the kind where people graduate with no student debt because their parents paid for college, etc. Since we are in the Midwest, everyone around here has a lake house. But what they don't say is that the lake house is their parents' house that they go to for free, or that they inherited it. No one has actually bought their own lake house. Its all part of that generational wealth that people claim as their own wealth.
Yes. When we rent a vacation house with my parents they round up their half to basically cover the whole thing. When my cousin got married out of state, my parents paid for our whole family to go just because they wanted the whole family together.
Most of our friends with young kids who travel do so with grandparents who cover substantial parts of the cost.
But like most other people have said, it's priorities too. Last year we chose to put in a pool/outdoor living space. Could we have done years of great vacations instead? Yep. We debated that, or maybe buying a vacation home. But ultimately we decided that a pool right outside our door was a better choice to give us the most enjoyment versus anything that involved us having to leave home.
Knowing home is your happy place and you both work a lot, this seems like a great choice. We all have to prioritize.
mpm, right?! And when DH's sister got married out of state, we had to pay for airline tickets for 4, a car rental, and she made us pay for the cabins. She got married on a resort with cabins and we were required to stay there.
I want to say it was $400 a night, but maybe it was cheaper, and she wanted us there from Thursday-Sunday. We decided to do Friday-Sunday, so we only had to pay for 2 nights instead of 3 nights. But a hotel in the area at the time would have been more like $200 a night. No discounts for being family and MIL/FIL never said a word about covering it.
Post by turkletsmom on Jan 27, 2023 16:43:30 GMT -5
We are single-income. H gets paid 26 times per year but we live/save off 24. We use the two "extra" checks for the vacation fund. This gets us 1-2 trips in the US (not like Hawaii level but Disney World for a week, etc).
My goal is to have 1 international trip with DH at least every 5 years. Yes, I'd love to be able to bring my kids to Europe, but they're still young so we'll see what the future brings with affordability.
My inlaws live in the NE so when we visit them we use it as a spring board to do mini trips to DC, NYC, Jersey Shore, etc, so my kids will have experienced some major US destinations which to me is really lucky.
As for my friends- any big trips they take are paid for by their parents/inlaws.
Post by litskispeciality on Jan 27, 2023 16:50:48 GMT -5
DH (BF at the time) and I traveled together for the first time the weekend we got engaged. We stayed two nights, and that burned a ton of my limited PTO and our disposable I come for a few months. I def recognize my privilege that I can save up for a trip now that I've finally paid off student loans, make a little more money etc. I still wish I had a flexible job and a DH with a schedule that allowed for travel when I can travel because even without kids, or grown kids it's just not that easy.
I was just talking to my girlfriend about that. Her kids are out of the house. She makes a lot more money, but her H won't use his somewhat limited PTO. She gave up a lot of family time when her kids were younger so her H could work and pursue a passion, but now she can't use her free time and money. Sometimes it just never works out.
Also I always wish I had some long lost relative with a lake or beach trailer or house because DH and I pay for every over night. His colleagues travel a lot more, even just for a night or two because they have the privlege of a family house to use for free. We dream of getting a vacation place, but probably couldn't keep up with necessary home improvements, other travel and/or cars etc. If that ever came about.
Post by fortnightlily on Jan 27, 2023 17:12:15 GMT -5
I'm with you on the time factor as much as the cost one -- feeling like we can only schedule travel around school breaks. DS is in third grade and I know plenty of families feel like it's no big deal to miss school when kids are in elementary, but I dunno, it feels weird to me. And even though DH and I both work remotely now, I don't feel like we could just pack up and spend a month in some other locale because we'd still need to find something to do with DS all day while we're working. Added vacation flexibility would be a big selling point for year-round school but with more built-in breaks to me.
Last summer we took our first international trip since DS was born and he loved it and it really cemented that I want to travel more. Especially because my parents always said they'd travel during retirement and even though they're healthy enough to do it, relatively speaking, pre-Covid they still hemmed and hawed a lot about cost and hassle and haven't taken nearly as many trips as I thought they would. I don't want to put it off and then find it's too late.
Cost-wise, we're only able to do it because we have high incomes and little debt.