I have a sophomore but we already started the college counseling process because I’m a stress case and I wanted another adult involved who DS1 will listen to (he’s at the age where whatever I say/think is automatically incorrect lol, so i figure best to step back and let someone else take control). He’s had a few meetings but it’s mostly been about summer plans this year and selecting courses for next year, plus general get to know you things. They hopefully start pinpointing a few schools this summer. He has NO IDEA what he wants to do. He’s 15, why should he?? It’s kind of crazy to expect them to.
I’m trying not to get too stressed out but it’s hard. We are in a very high achieving district. So while DS1 is a solid student (all honors, varsity sports etc), it seems all his peers are already doing Harvard extension programs, have perfect grades, do extracurricular math programs, and are starting non profits and doing peer mentoring with at risk youth etc etc. The competition about who is planning on Ivy League is already starting and I hate it. He will not be Ivy League and I feel like it already makes him feel badly. Plus things are so different than when I applied 25 years ago. Like, when I applied I had a lot of friends who applied/got into bowdoin. It wasn’t a safety school by any stretch but it was a solid liberal arts college that if you had decent grades you could likely get in. Now it’s an 8% acceptanve rate and I know a decent amount of kids with amazing grades etc who didn’t get in. I know DS1 will find his place and all will be fine, but I’m secretly breathing into s paper bag already lol
Post by definitelyO on Apr 5, 2023 16:56:10 GMT -5
DS is a Junior.
They weight to a 5 point scale (honors and AP included).
We did our first college tour last week - specialized engineering school in our backyard. We knew he didn't want to major in engineering but it was a low pressure place to start - he liked the size, the campus, etc... so gave us a going starting point in whittling down a list. They said that they look at a weighted GPA (so 4.0 scale) but also take into account the RIGOR of the courses - IB, AP, honors, and how that rigor compares to what is offered at your high school. So if your school doesn't offer AP courses, then you aren't penalized for not having a 4.6 GPA.
He takes his SAT next week - but scored a 1230 on the PSAT a few months ago - we're hoping for over a 1300. He is on NHS, plays a sport, and volunteers over 40 hours per year - in a variety or organizations but primarily focused on helping the homeless population in our community - but not ivy league status - but hopefully solid for the applications. We haven't done anything regarding pulling down common app questions or getting recommendation letters, etc... but will focus on that toward the end of summer.
We have 3 other in state tours scheduled in the next 3 weeks. After that we'll sit down and see if he has any interest in looking at out of state schools. We're a member of WUE (western university exchange) that makes him eligible for discounted out of state tuition based on state school and major.
He has no idea of a career path - and I'm okay with that - I have a degree that I don't use now as does DH.
I was a little confused about something I was seeing on the high school counseling page. It was advising Juniors that they should start thinking about their college essays. I thought applications had specific essay questions or are pretty general?
Common app just announced in the last day or two that their essay prompts are going to remain the same as last year. So a lot of kids are starting to think about those. The school specific essays are not released yet, for the most part. For kids applying to highly selective schools, it is advised to apply to 7-10 schools. They will have a lot of writing to do, so college strategists advise starting now on the common app essays.
I also want to mention that I am on a facebook page for parents of kids who want to pursue an aviation career.
Some of the posts are absolutely bananas. Like, it's helpful to a point to understand the landscape. But to hear some of them talk, a 4.3 GPA, multiple varsity sports, entering college with your private pilots license and a million flight-related extracurriculars, hundreds of volunteer hours teaching homeless squirrels to fly, etc etc, makes their kid an "average" student who is worried about qualifying for top schools LOL.
Every once in a while, a brave parent will post something like "My kid has a 3.6 and average SATs. Is there any hope?" and then normal people come in and reassure them.
But the competition and expectations for teenagers seems unhealthy.
I think we're in a good place with DS (a sophomore). The volunteer hours I was freaking out about? Yeah, they are piling up now- my worries were ridiculous. NHS (which comes with volunteer requirements) actually has been a huge help finding volunteer opportunities. He'll be old enough to volunteer at the library this summer (helping seniors with their tech) and will help out with some STEM camps, too.
Our district has a fairly typical 5.0 AP/DE/IB/AICE scale, a 4.5 honors scale, and a 4.0 regular scale. A neighboring district flipped to a 7.0 scale several years ago- I assume in response to many of the private schools in the area operating on that scale. It just seems to really confuse people (which is why it works so well for the private schools, I guess). One of my college readiness FB groups is very local, and some funny conversations around GPA come up frequently.
DS really wants to go OOS (and we would love that for him). It might be tough, though. Assuming his stats hold- he's looking at a true free ride at in-state public universities. We just don't know what will be left of those schools after DeSantis finishes his attacks. He is in a great IB diploma program and they send kids all over the place with generous financial incentives, so I have hope that it will work out for him without having to resort to loans or worse- my dad (strings galore)- and he can be the first of us to get out of this state!
But truth is, I have friends with current seniors who have 4.2 GPA or around there and didn't get into any UC schools this year. California public universities are really hard to get into these days. Luckily, his list includes all types of schools.
So true. Did you see this from the Chronlcle? Yikes.
But truth is, I have friends with current seniors who have 4.2 GPA or around there and didn't get into any UC schools this year. California public universities are really hard to get into these days. Luckily, his list includes all types of schools.
So true. Did you see this from the Chronlcle? Yikes.
It’s behind a paywall, but I’m guessing it’s the same database you can pull from the UCOP site. The UC system has only compiled the data through fall 2022. I heard 2023 was really bad.
It’s behind a paywall, but I’m guessing it’s the same database you can pull from the UCOP site. The UC system has only compiled the data through fall 2022. I heard 2023 was really bad.
DS1 is considering UCLA mainly because my entire family/extended family went there for undergrad and grad (except me! Lol). I’m trying to prepare him that it’s a SERIOUS reach for him, especially being from out of state. I also need the family to lay off the pressure
It’s behind a paywall, but I’m guessing it’s the same database you can pull from the UCOP site. The UC system has only compiled the data through fall 2022. I heard 2023 was really bad.
It's broken down by each public high school - what percentage of seniors applied to each UC, what percentage of those who applied were admitted, and what percentage of those admitted chose to attend. It gives the average GPA for each of those as well. So it's the same data, but in a much more useable form (and different pieces of info aggregated).
I also want to mention that I am on a facebook page for parents of kids who want to pursue an aviation career.
Some of the posts are absolutely bananas. Like, it's helpful to a point to understand the landscape. But to hear some of them talk, a 4.3 GPA, multiple varsity sports, entering college with your private pilots license and a million flight-related extracurriculars, hundreds of volunteer hours teaching homeless squirrels to fly, etc etc, makes their kid an "average" student who is worried about qualifying for top schools LOL.
Every once in a while, a brave parent will post something like "My kid has a 3.6 and average SATs. Is there any hope?" and then normal people come in and reassure them.
But the competition and expectations for teenagers seems unhealthy.
It’s completely unhealthy and absolutely plays into some of the mental health challenges teenagers are facing. They all feel like they have to be so exceptional in everything and that is really too bad. It sets them up to feel like a failure from the start because few people are actually that exceptional. If they were it would just be called average or normal.
And to make some of the parents up there feel better who posted their worries that their kids aren’t going to be okay or whatever. My 16 year old DD is a junior. Her GPA is 2.something. She failed math last semester. She has basically not done a single homework assignment that couldn’t get done in class since she started HS. For reasons unknown she took AP world history her sophomore year. Nearly failed the class, the book lived under her bed the entire school year. Somehow she managed to pull out a 3 on the AP test still.
She transferred to an alternative high school program at a local community college in January. She is taking college classes now and now has straight A’s and no missing assignments and is still on track to graduate a semester early. She also has been working 2 jobs since December although she put in notice for one because the other is going to be able to give her enough hours now. She doesn’t want to go to college even though she’s already in college and doing really well and she could just stay at the school she’s already at super easily. So all these kids who want to go to college and are doing okay in high school and all of that, they will be totally fine. I also think my kid will be totally fine even if she doesn’t go to college right after high school. There are a million paths to success and not all of them go directly from 4.7 GPA/exceptional 3 sport athlete/million hour volunteer/president of 27 clubs to college to life success. Some (most probably) have a more circuitous pathway. I think it is so important that kids know that.
My kid is only a freshman but already they have their heart set on one school, my alma mater.
I don’t really think it’s the best choice for them, but also know that trying to argue for somewhere else would cause them to dig in their heels. And since this school is now super hard to get into (it wasn’t when I was a kid), knowing the low acceptance rate has had the effect of focusing them, finally, on their schoolwork and grades. So that’s a plus.
We’re going to take them around to 5-10 other schools that might be a better fit—more artsy, more urban—but not until the end of junior year. We want that top school to keep motivating them but hope they eventually fall for a school with fewer driven, achiever types.
But honestly, they have had such a hard road with depression, anxiety, and this country’s trans hate, I will be happy with an alive child at the end of all this. Any and all college is a bonus.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Apr 6, 2023 12:00:45 GMT -5
My oldest is in 8th grade, but we've started thinking about/looking at colleges for a few different reasons. I don't think it's ever too early to start exploring the idea of where they might want to go.
Half my DD's classes this year are high school credits (Biology Honors, Geometry Honors, and ASL), so she's already started her high school transcript. Also, she's been attending virtual school for all of middle school. She very much wanted to stay at her school for high school, but DH and I weren't sure, so we did a lot of research into what colleges are looking for and how they view virtual high schools before we decided to allow her to stay at her school next year.
DD currently wants to be a cardiologist, and even though she's likely to change her mind, I feel sure that whatever path she takes will require some school after college, so I'm not too worried about specific programs. I want her to go somewhere that she could get a solid education in a variety of different fields. What I'm more concerned about is a place that will be a good fit for her -- she has a lot of medical problems, as well as anxiety, so I feel like a small school driving distance from home would be the best fit for her. She's unconvinced and is currently looking at schools *everywhere* (seriously - Germany, Poland, and Croatia have all been thrown out there by her). I'm trying to tell myself she's currently in "dreaming" mode, and there's lots of time for reality to hit!
DarcyLongfellow, are you in College Bound Florida (FB group)? It's one of the better college groups- the advisor who runs it is really great and goes out of her way to answer any questions, even if they're repeats or pretty nonsensical. I don't think either of my kids want to stay in state, but I've learned a ton anyway.
FLVS diplomas are a little tricky if she's not using the full time school, I've seen a lot of flex parents scrambling (just make sure you know).
DarcyLongfellow, are you in College Bound Florida (FB group)? It's one of the better college groups- the advisor who runs it is really great and goes out of her way to answer any questions, even if they're repeats or pretty nonsensical. I don't think either of my kids want to stay in state, but I've learned a ton anyway.
FLVS diplomas are a little tricky if she's not using the full time school, I've seen a lot of flex parents scrambling (just make sure you know).
Thank you!! No, this is the first I've heard of it, I'll go look for it!!
She's currently doing our county's franchise of FLVS (full time). I've heard the same thing about Flex since it's essentially homeschooling.
I also want to mention that I am on a facebook page for parents of kids who want to pursue an aviation career.
Some of the posts are absolutely bananas. Like, it's helpful to a point to understand the landscape. But to hear some of them talk, a 4.3 GPA, multiple varsity sports, entering college with your private pilots license and a million flight-related extracurriculars, hundreds of volunteer hours teaching homeless squirrels to fly, etc etc, makes their kid an "average" student who is worried about qualifying for top schools LOL.
Every once in a while, a brave parent will post something like "My kid has a 3.6 and average SATs. Is there any hope?" and then normal people come in and reassure them.
But the competition and expectations for teenagers seems unhealthy.
My son is also interested in a career in aviation. Would you mind sharing the name of the FB group?
4speedy it is called Raising Aviation Teens. It's a little overwhelming sometimes but there is a lot of valuable information if you can take some of the super high achieving posts with a grain of salt.
I also highly recommend Civil Air Patrol if you have a kid interested in aviation, especially if they might consider the military route.
Fuck me. One of the college planning FB pages I follow is moderated by a college admissions officer for University of Michigan. She post the question “what are you, as a parent, most worried about in the application process?”
I replied that I am worried that we messed things up for our kid because we moved just prior to her junior year (this year). Her grades took a small hit because the material covered at her old school did not line up with the new, topics that were review for classmates were new to her so she struggled to teach herself chemistry from YouTube. She was not allowed to participate in her sport, had to sit out a semester. Was not allowed to transfer her NHS membership and had to sit out a semester before she was eligible to reapply. Activities and clubs that she had participated in were not offered so although she is active, it’s all new stuff so her interests don’t show continuity. She has no leadership her junior year because again, new kids don’t get elected as officers. So although she has REALLY persevered, made a good group of friends, is LOVED by teachers and admin (I’ve been told “She’s a breath of fresh air” and “She’s what this place needed” by the college coordinator and admin assistant in the front office. She is gaining ground in chemistry but is still at a B-, might get it up to a B or B+ by the end of the year. (This is an IB program, by the way, which values growth over absolute grades but that’s not always compatible with what admissions officers want to see.)
So I expected the moderator to reassure me that it would all be fine and that DD’s extenuating circumstances would be taken into consideration. Nope. This is the response:
This one’s a bit tricky. Don’t blame yourself. Transfers and transitions in late high school can often be challenging, especially when there when there is a gap in content, instruction style changes or there is a different curriculum at the new school. My advice is to set realistic expectations based on how your child’s profile has changed over the last year and be sure that her college list is well-balanced, in order to have the most successful outcomes. I find that disappointment mostly occurs when a child’s application profile shifts and the college list doesn’t shift with it, if that makes sense… 
So basically the advice is the sooner your daughter accepts that you screwed her over, the less disappointed she’ll be later on. Tell her to aim lower in her college choices.
4speedy it is called Raising Aviation Teens. It's a little overwhelming sometimes but there is a lot of valuable information if you can take some of the super high achieving posts with a grain of salt.
I also highly recommend Civil Air Patrol if you have a kid interested in aviation, especially if they might consider the military route.
LOL. I joined this group yesterday. Found out my 14 yo is behind schedule because he’s not a pilot yet. But did see a lot of nice senior photos of kids with their planes. Thanks for the info…despite the bragginess it does seem like there is a lot of good info being shared.
4speedy I know, it's little out of control. Someone recently posted every school her kid was accepted to, with the full financial package they were offered. (Search "Engel" of you want to see what these schools cost with flight fees) That's the kind of stuff I find really helpful.
There is also periodically some really good discussion on going for an AA vs a Bachelor's degree. My takeaway is that going to a 4 year program is primarily a status thing. The airlines generally don't care. My son is still on the fence about the military option, but if he does not go military, he will most likely do a technical program (AA). But again, he's only in 9th grade so we are just trying to keep options open at this point.
I came across a Twitter thread yesterday from a teacher trying to convince a student that they don't need to take 6 APs their senior year. A lot of people chimed in about the crazy expectations on our teens right now. Someone recommended that podcast. I'm listening to it now and definitely recommend.
Part of it talks about boys being "the master of the 89.5"-- doing just enough to get a grade to round up to A. While girls tend to be more likely to burn themselves out to get the highest A possible, even though it doesn't really matter after a certain point. Super interesting to me as the parent of a son who is a master of the 89.5.
Fuck me. One of the college planning FB pages I follow...
I am in that group and I saw your post. My HSer is entering an IB diploma program(me) next year. IB is just its own beast- everything I've heard and read, all the advice about AP and IB classes - is that a B in an IB class is nothing to be ashamed of. And it sounds like she didn't have an intro chem class in a lower grade? That must have been tough!
Anyway, I bet if the group admin had had more details (I completely understand why you didn't dump it all out there, of course) she would have worded her reply differently. I'm sorry you were hurt by the reply, it just got you right in a soft place. Don't feel bad, it sounds like she is doing really well at this school!
I’m a college counselor at the secondary level. I’m covering all this in your kid’s letter of recommendation. I’m also encouraging your kid to write about this in her college essay, and if she has a better topic lined up for that, I’m encouraging her to use the “special circumstances” part of her application on the Common App to explain this. That’s what that portion is for. That admission rep’s response is unhelpful; wtf are you supposed to do with that info? We’re not accepting disappointment and defeat yet, motherfucker!
You never, EVER know. Our valedictorian was rejected at Penn this year while our #2 and #6 got in on the strength of their applications and essays. I’ve had kids repeat a grade who get sizable scholarships.