Post by wanderingback on Jul 18, 2023 12:20:21 GMT -5
I’ll just answer the driver license thing. I live in a large city with great public transport but when the time comes I’ll still encourage my kid to get their license. I think it’s a life skill worth having. My partner doesn’t have his US license (has been living here for 20 years at this point) and it is sometimes annoying (we’ve been together 9 years) even though I haven’t owned a car for over 4 years. He keeps saying he’s going to get it but then things come up and it’s not a huge necessity. So I say get it if able when younger. -Now I don’t exactly know how it works since we don’t own a car, haha, but hopefully I’ll figure out what we can do once the time comes.
Post by EvieEthelGarland on Jul 18, 2023 12:29:04 GMT -5
I hope rings are not a thing here. My all girls catholic school required us to purchase one for our junior unity ceremony and one jostens purchase is too much for this lifetime.
Most kids here get their license in high school, but it doesn't seem as necessary or urgent as it was when I was in HS. DS will be 15 next month and we want him to learn how to drive stick while my mom still has one, but I'm also not eager for him to get his license at 16 because we have 3 cars and I don't want him to be considered as primary on any of them for insurance reasons. It's expensive!
I don't know how we got here! I miss my sweet little boy but the sweet young man is quite a delight as well. Plus he can carry heavy things and has changed a flat on my car.
1. Rings aren't a thing here, but letterman jackets are big. DD1 is applying to a college where rings are big- so maybe she'll want a college one? 2. While we live in a large city by US standards, our public transportation absolutely sucks. So driving is mandatory in our household. DD1 could not wait and got her license on the very first day she was eligible. DD2 is still only 15, but has done both her permit and driving school soooo reluctantly. She'll finish the "on the road" part of drivers ed later this month. We've told her it's bus or drive once her sister graduates. She does seem to have some motivation not to be a junior/senior on the school bus.
1) I don’t know what a class ring is so I’m assuming they aren’t a thing here. I know letterman jackets from watching US shows as a teen but those aren’t a thing here either. Individual sports sports teams with have personalized shirts or sweaters for sale though.
2) My driving age children have all been uninterested in getting their learners permits right away and my second daughter is only now at almost 19 getting her novice permit. They’ve managed just fine to get around on their own even though the local transit isn’t super convenient. I’d say it’s about half half with their friends too. We have a really strong local college and university so I’m not concerned about when they get their licences.
2. We insisted that SD get her license as soon as she could (she got it on her 16th birthday) because we wanted her to have as much driving practice as possible under her belt (with our involvement/supervision) before leaving home. She is likely to go to college in a city where she won’t need a car, and that’s actually a reason to me TO get a license in high school - she may end up not practicing driving much between 18-22, and I don’t want her to be a 22 year old with minimal driving experience, regardless of where she decides to live. It’s simply a life skill we expect her to have.
Don’t know if class rings are a thing or not, but we won’t be getting Kid A one. And I very much doubt they’ll be interested!
They do plan to go to college in a big city, and all high schoolers also get free bus passes here, so they don’t even really need (or want) me to chauffeur now. But they also want their drivers license just because, so they’ll be taking classes in the fall.
Yeah, I can’t really believe my sweet little baby will be so independent soon! That went by too fast!
1. No idea yet as oldest is incoming freshman, but I don’t think this is a thing. 2. Like just about every single kid he gets a license. You absolutely need a car to get around because there is no public transportation. 3. I have no idea. I very clearly remember the start of kindergarten and I can’t believe now it’s the start of high school!
1. DS wanted/got a HS ring; many of his friends wore them as juniors and seniors. There was an option to have it made from a silvery metal that wasn't gold with a lab created stone for about $250. It was highly personalized- marching band on one shoulder and Eagle Scout on the other. I bet he has no idea where it is. DS did not want a college ring; DH actually wears his college ring which is a fairly distinctive almost secret society design.
2. I'm conflicted on driving. On one hand I consider it a life skill akin to preparing a meal from scratch or changing a diaper. Even living in the city, she might want to rent a car on vacation or a business trip someday. On the other, I would be hesitant to force it on an anxious kid. My kid was anxious and didn't actually get his license until the week he turned 21. My mom (33) and my best friend (42) both learned to drive later than the norm. I don't know if it's coincidence, but they are the 2 shittiest drivers I know. We once let her drive us to a show in Philadelphia-- I put DH in the front seat because of his long legs, she somehow screwed up and we found ourselves in the northbound lanes heading south on Broad Street. For 2 whole blocks.
3. Toddlerhood wasn't actually the death of us, it was more like a foreshadowing of things to come.
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jul 18, 2023 14:31:22 GMT -5
1. I don't know what others do, but I'm sure DS won't want one. 2. We don't know yet where he will go to college, but he's taking drivers ed this summer and plans to get his license this year. He doesn't like driving, but we agree it's better for him to get learn now. (He has a bit of baggage about learning to ride a bike "late.") 3. I don't know, but it's gone too fast.
My view is driving is a life skill regardless of where you live. I was born and raised in NYC and I knew 4 people total in my life that didn't get a license. 3 got them later and it was harder and 1 is still dependent on her husband for everything.
Post by luckystar2 on Jul 18, 2023 15:57:35 GMT -5
1. Not sure. I just checked our HS FB page and searched for rings and there’s only been a couple posts with barely any comments so I’m guessing it’s not a big deal. I really liked my HS ring but yeah it wasn’t something I got much use out of after HS.
2. I agree with others that driving is a life skill. There are a lot more options nowadays with Uber/lyft and public transportation but I don’t want my dd stuck sometime in life because she can’t drive. We aren’t in a city now so she will need to get by using a car before she graduates. She has a lot of sports practice and work so I hope at some point she’s driving herself to this stuff. I highly doubt she’ll go to a city college or live in a city but even so there could be things that come up later in life that being able to drive would make things easier. Plus as others said I feel like learning to drive now is easier vs as an adult.
Dd turns 16 at the end of spring next year. Our school does drivers Ed outside of school through continuing Ed. I’ll be looking into that and other options for next summer. I definitely feel like my dd will respond better to learning from somebody else than us!
3. I’m about ready to have a panic attack thinking about the whole college process. Ugh! My kid is going to be so indecisive and the options are just so overwhelming. I started thinking about how next summer we should start visiting schools but I am totally overwhelmed. I know my kid will be as well.
Post by RoxMonster on Jul 18, 2023 17:32:59 GMT -5
Not a parent but I taught teens for 14 years:
1) Rings actually were a thing at my school. Every fall, they'd bring the sophomores to the auditorium during homeroom and hear from the6 Josten's guy about rings. He'd pass out all the paperwork and then come back in a couple weeks to take orders. I don't know a percentage who would get them, but several did because they'd be wearing them/talking about them in class on delivery day. FWIW I got a class ring in HS and only wore it maybe 6 months and that was it.
2) Most students at my school took driver's ed and got their licenses. It was a pretty rural area and many had to drive.
1. Have not heard of a single kid getting a class ring. They didn’t when I was in HS either though.
2. Dd is 16 and has her license. Our public transport isn’t great, and we are in a school system that doesn’t provide buses for high schoolers. Since she’s on the downtown campus/high school, she can’t get front here to her sports venues by bus easily, so it’s made a huge difference for her to have her own way to get around. Im loving it this summer when she has 7:30am sports practices, or middle of the day games, too. I figure I’d rather her drive herself than be in anyone else’s car. And it’s giving her a lot more opportunity to get out this summer. She has a job so pays for gas.
We once let her drive us to a show in Philadelphia-- I put DH in the front seat because of his long legs, she somehow screwed up and we found ourselves in the northbound lanes heading south on Broad Street. For 2 whole blocks.
meh, that's not TOOO out of bounds for broad street
My 15.5 year old just finished drivers ed. I am chomping at the bit for him to drive lol. He turns 16 in December. I am tired of driving him to his job, to hang out with his friends, to early morning practices etc. We even live in a central location with bussing and walkability. And that still isn't enough.
We once let her drive us to a show in Philadelphia-- I put DH in the front seat because of his long legs, she somehow screwed up and we found ourselves in the northbound lanes heading south on Broad Street. For 2 whole blocks.
meh, that's not TOOO out of bounds for broad street
I always get confused around the stadiums, especially leaving!
Post by liveintheville on Jul 19, 2023 10:22:49 GMT -5
My kid won’t want a ring. I don’t know if others get them. Here you get your permit at 16 and license at 17. You have to go to a private driving school at 16. He turns 16 in October. He doesn’t need it. We have busses and t stops here. But I’d like him to learn. I’m scared though. Driving around here is straight up survival scm1011. There are 2 way roads with only room for one car to pass. Bicyclists everywhere. Construction and detours everywhere. I worry about him hitting a parked car or cyclist.
Class rings are still a thing in my son’s high school. A whole ring ceremony for the junior class and all.
My son wants his driver’s license ASAP, and I am looking forward to having another driver in our 5 member household! He wants to go away but is the opposite of your daughter. We live close to a major city (NYC) and he craves a more country environment for college, so his college search is focusing on uostate NY so far. Our plan is to give him my car when he gets his license and I’ll get a new car. As his siblings get their licenses, they will have to share my car and if one wants their own car they’d have to do that on their own. So he won’t be able to take it to college anyway.
2 - In Brazil, you can't get your license until 18. I know lots of people that went to university in cities, didn't bother with their driver's license, but wished they had when they actually wanted it. I think if it's possible, it's good to have.
2 - he got his license a few days after he turned 16. It was the first day that worked with our schedule after his birthday. He’s on the school golf team and I had to plan my lunches around getting him from campus to the course twice a week before he drove, so we weren’t waiting. It was amazing. The next few weeks he is taking summer school at UCLA. It’s a commuter program, so he drives himself daily. We only live like 20 miles from campus but with LA traffic on the 405 it’s over an hour to get there or back some days. That’s the worst part of him driving - hoping he does ok on the LA freeways. I may have watched him on Find my iPhone in the first day.
3. We got his senior picture proofs a few days ago and he’s been away at a few different college summer programs this summer, so it’s all getting pretty real. It’s happening whether I’m ready or not.
1. I have a rising senior. We bought her class ring last year. Apparently she never intended to wear it, which was news to me once it arrived. I also have a rising junior, and imagine we will go ahead and get her one as well. That said, I still have mine AND my mother’s. I see it as a keepsake of sorts. I didn’t see the point of a lettermen’s jacket. Both girls do play soccer, but I can’t imagine them ever wearing those either. The rings are actually still pretty common in our small Midwest area though.
2. Also due to our small Midwest area, not getting a license really isn’t an option. Can’t get anywhere without a car here. DD1 got hers the first day she could. DD2 will do the same.
3. No idea. I’m not ready for any of it. Currently getting ready for her another college campus tour.
I have 1 friend from HS who got her permit, didn’t like driving, and never got her driver’s license. She went to a college and later lived in a metro city with good public transportation. So, not much of an issue. But now, many years later, she moved to an area with less public transportation and it’s a bit of an issue to overcome the same unresolved fears she had 20 years ago.
If a teen wants to postpone the financial obligation for paying for insurance by postponing taking the driver’s test, that may make sense. That extra insurance cost can be steep. But as a life skill, I think anyone with access to a car should learn to drive one by the age of 18. I’ve seen the limitations and work arounds it causes in modern life.
My teen is very enthusiastic to get a permit, so it does not seem to be an issue for our family. I will admit, I don’t quite get why it seems to be a trend for young adults to not learn to drive and prefer to get rides (in cars) from other people.
Post by DotAndBuzz on Jul 20, 2023 10:19:52 GMT -5
Yeah, the driving thing I do think is important. Even if they currently live somewhere with great public transportation, love the city and never want to live anywhere else, they'll likely travel SOMEWHERE as an adult where they'll need rent a car to drive. I feel like for our society, it's a life skill. Even for vacations, there are places where uber and Lyft don't really exist reliably, so you can't just plan to uber from an airport to your vrbo, and then call for a ride when you need to go into town. Hell, we're going to be at a place like that for vacation soon, and it'is a beautiful quiet rural area of the country, but completely inaccessible if you don't have a driver's license.
My kid won’t want a ring. I don’t know if others get them. Here you get your permit at 16 and license at 17. You have to go to a private driving school at 16. He turns 16 in October. He doesn’t need it. We have busses and t stops here. But I’d like him to learn. I’m scared though. Driving around here is straight up survival scm1011. There are 2 way roads with only room for one car to pass. Bicyclists everywhere. Construction and detours everywhere. I worry about him hitting a parked car or cyclist.
I’m a ways off and obviously may change my mind but I have no intention of sending my kids to drivers ed for the reasons you outlined. It’s so unnecessary and chaotic here, like instantly throwing them into expert level of a video game. If they’re lucky maybe I’ll buy them an e-bike lol.
ETA: I’m hoping they wait until they’re 18+, or near college college age if it looks like they may need a DL then.
My kid won’t want a ring. I don’t know if others get them. Here you get your permit at 16 and license at 17. You have to go to a private driving school at 16. He turns 16 in October. He doesn’t need it. We have busses and t stops here. But I’d like him to learn. I’m scared though. Driving around here is straight up survival scm1011. There are 2 way roads with only room for one car to pass. Bicyclists everywhere. Construction and detours everywhere. I worry about him hitting a parked car or cyclist.
I’m a ways off and obviously may change my mind but I have no intention of sending my kids to drivers ed for the reasons you outlined. It’s so unnecessary and chaotic here, like instantly throwing them into expert level of a video game. If they’re lucky maybe I’ll buy them an e-bike lol.
ETA: I’m hoping they wait until they’re 18+, or near college college age if it looks like they may need a DL then.
the good news is here in MA if they wait until 18 they can skip the mandated 40 hours of practice driving they need to do with a parent/adult! DH is not looking forward to starting that
I’m a ways off and obviously may change my mind but I have no intention of sending my kids to drivers ed for the reasons you outlined. It’s so unnecessary and chaotic here, like instantly throwing them into expert level of a video game. If they’re lucky maybe I’ll buy them an e-bike lol.
ETA: I’m hoping they wait until they’re 18+, or near college college age if it looks like they may need a DL then.
the good news is here in MA if they wait until 18 they can skip the mandated 40 hours of practice driving they need to do with a parent/adult! DH is not looking forward to starting that
Really… hmm that would be nice. I can’t even begin to guess at the stress levels the practice would put us through.
Car insurance is INSANE here. My daughter’s best friend is 18 and lives with us. We helped her get her license earlier this week. Her insurance is $267 a month for a beater car. I now kinda get why a lot of DD’s friends don’t drive!