Both kids had a great day on the first day of school. DS's bus is consistently 10-15 minutes late, so I am wondering if there was a time change on the route or just first 2 day stuff. Then it poured this morning for DD's bus.
DD and I like to watch mindless tween shows. The latest is Just Add Magic, and I got her a Witchy cookbook from the library, but then that meant she had her heart set on making a cake last night at like 8 pm. Anyway, we made the cake and the batter was so small even though it said it serves 12 which is a lie. It tasted fine, but I would definitely double the recipe in the future if we ever make it again.
I am trying to clean stuff out that people just leave for years, and it was a very "if you give a mouse a cookie type day". Every single thing involved asking 6 people and addressing all their "concerns" even though no one cared about this stuff for a year or two.
DS appears to be okay for this year. His first day he got teary in math because he felt like his math teacher yelled at him. His math teacher is not a yelling kind of guy. So we talked that through. The other days he has reported were good days. He was asked to be the host for a student visiting next week, and his response was “what would be my salary?” Lol. That kid. They decided on two high fives, one paid in advance when the student shows up that morning, and one at the end of the day contingent on completion of the assignment.
Dd went to the big rally on the football field and went to the after party at one of the school clubs. I woke up to a txt that she and her roommate met some people from their high school and played poker. So she said she misses home but is having fun. I got a snap of her shoes this morning that she was chilling waiting for her and her roommate to go to the meeting of the college of nursing this morning. She hasn't texted me back from my good morning, which is good because that means she's busy.
We walked into work today and our bathroom sink was full of nasty water that wouldn't drain and poop in the toilet. When we left yesterday everything was fine. The unit next to use is having some upgrading done including plumbing. We called the management company after we tried plunging, draino the sink. They told us to call a plumber it was our problem not theirs. Fast forward 20 minutes and the construction guys are calling the management company because the sink is overflowing on that side. Management company comes out and goes umm let me talk to the big boss because it is weird both units are having issues at the same time. We are now waiting for the plumbers to show up but we don't have to pay for them.
mommyatty, my DD would have asked how much she got paid too. I hope he has a fun day being an ambassador.
Post by librarychica on Aug 17, 2023 12:18:52 GMT -5
waverly I chuckled because I’ve so been there. At my first library job, engineering library that had been there since the 50s, I used to “aggressively weed” the back room when my boss went on work travel. There is archiving and there is hoarding and they are not the same things!
Middle school is going so well for DD that I feel guilty for even contemplating a move. DD2 has been a struggle but I think she is still adjusting to a new schedule.
I am swamped at work but I have gotten my manager’s buy-in to hire two new roles next year. Fingers crossed!
librarychica, he yelled at me again today, and now he is trying to be nice, so I think he felt bad. But anyway, the broken whiteboard was apparently given to "Friends" to sell. Um, explain to me why they would sell a broken whiteboard? Make it make sense.
Post by supertrooper1 on Aug 17, 2023 13:01:27 GMT -5
I'm training a new guy today via Teams. I hate training.
My division director just announced that she is leaving my division after 3 years in her role. She's my 2nd line supervisor. I knew this day would come because she has been on an executive career path from the beginning of her career. I'm happy for her and she's been a great boss, but I'm worried about the potential of a not so great replacement.
Beau's aunt/former MIL sent a text the other day saying she's decided to stay at her place 3+ hours away from us. She gave him some BS excuse, but in reality, it took someone other than Beau to tell her she can't afford anything in our area and that her "handshake deal" she was required to honor with her buyer fell through. Beau had spent hundreds of hours looking for a place for her to buy or rent, but she couldn't afford the rent anywhere, even the lease at a trailer park. She thought Beau was pulling one over on her, so she made up bogus escrow and closing claims about her house and arbitrary dates when she had to be out. But the buyer's loan fell through on top of everything else and the realtor told her that a trailer park would accept anyone (even though Beau had already submitted her paperwork and was denied) and she was denied again.
Gah. I follow our city’s animal shelter on Facebook. I need to stop. Whoever they have deciding what breeds to assign to animals needs to be kicked in the lady or gentleman parts. About half the dogs they have on their website are listed as pit bulls. I worked for a vet for almost 8 years. At least half the dogs have ZERO pit bull breed characteristics. There are a few that I would eyeball and say “yeah, pit”, but that probably less than a quarter of the ones they’ve labeled as pit bulls. The most recent is a puppy that is clearly a Labrador mixed with some sort of small terrier or possibly hound. Clearly not a pit. Last week, they had two very small brown puppies they listed as Great Pyrenees mixes. The most defining breed characteristic of a Great Pyr? They’re WHITE. The second? Even as puppies they are a giant breed so they are HUGE. They are also so freaking rare that I’ve seen exactly two in my entire life.
I want to call and ask if they just want people who rent homes not to be able to adopt dogs because the pit thing is insane.
Update on DD1 and mountain biking (sigh)... I think she gave it a good try. She's gone to seven practices. The first couple practices went well, but it's been a struggle since then. . I'm more than happy to throw up my hands and say okay. You tried. Let's move on. She's 12 and I think if we let her quit the team right now She has a chance of liking mountain biking in the future. I think at this point, she's just going to dislike it more and more if we force her to stay. I don't want to encourage quitting, but I feel like she went into this not knowing much about the sport and will give teams more of a thought before committing in the future. H has different feelings. He thinks she's lazy and that her poor attitude is why she dislikes it so much. I see his disappointment... I love mountain biking and would like her to like it too, but forcing her at this age isn't the way to go. Am I off here?
ETA in general, DD is not a quitter. She's been going to gymnastics diligently since she was six. She did try out for her schools cheer squad, made it, but after a few practice decided it wasn't worth giving up gymnastics for. I would have supported her either way but can't say I blame her. She's the kid who's been practicing her band instruments daily all summer....
Post by sandandsea on Aug 17, 2023 23:57:39 GMT -5
I think you’re totally fine to let her step away from something she’s tried, thought about and decided isn’t for her. No reason to prolong the agony in an individual sport. It’s not like she’s letting the team down because they’re counting on her being “the” goalie or something. I would let her quit.
dglvrk2- let her quit. It’s not her thing. And that’s okay. There are a lot of things I like to do recreationally that I don’t want to do all the time and wouldn’t want to do on a team. Like I enjoy tennis. But the idea of playing in tournaments? Hard pass. Zero interest. She may be that way with mountain biking.
It sounds like she loves gymnastics and music. That’s enough. It’s not like she’s doing nothing.
I got my grade adjusted! The professor gave me back the points so I got an A instead of a C on my paper. I pointed out several articles that show the tool is inaccurate. I also sent the information and experience on to the department chair so that they're aware of what's going on.
I got my grade adjusted! The professor gave me back the points so I got an A instead of a C on my paper. I pointed out several articles that show the tool is inaccurate. I also sent the information and experience on to the department chair so that they're aware of what's going on.
Awesome job twinmomma! I hope your experience will give the department chair a lot to think about!
I just received guidance from my department at my university to not use AI detectors because they are wildly inaccurate! In addition, my department gave us a whole bunch of resources (some were from other universities) about AI use in assignments and how to clearly indicate what we will allow as instructors. There were also various tips on how to get the students to demonstrate their understanding of the material without using AI.
dglvrk2- let her quit. It’s not her thing. And that’s okay. There are a lot of things I like to do recreationally that I don’t want to do all the time and wouldn’t want to do on a team. Like I enjoy tennis. But the idea of playing in tournaments? Hard pass. Zero interest. She may be that way with mountain biking.
It sounds like she loves gymnastics and music. That’s enough. It’s not like she’s doing nothing.
H and I had a long talk about this last night. He admitted he has expectations for her that are unrealistic in terms of what activities she does and how many friends she has. (Has one good friend and clearly has fun with classmates, teammates etc, but doesn't pursue these friendships beyond structured activities). He compares her to friends' kids and his life in general to that he sees on social media. That's a whole other ball of wax. He doesn't have it easy with work or parenthood right now, but he's smart and can develop a better mindset. Thanks, mommyatty and sandandsea for the encouragement!
dglvrk2- let her quit. It’s not her thing. And that’s okay. There are a lot of things I like to do recreationally that I don’t want to do all the time and wouldn’t want to do on a team. Like I enjoy tennis. But the idea of playing in tournaments? Hard pass. Zero interest. She may be that way with mountain biking.
It sounds like she loves gymnastics and music. That’s enough. It’s not like she’s doing nothing.
H and I had a long talk about this last night. He admitted he has expectations for her that are unrealistic in terms of what activities she does and how many friends she has. (Has one good friend and clearly has fun with classmates, teammates etc, but doesn't pursue these friendships beyond structured activities). He compares her to friends' kids and his life in general to that he sees on social media. That's a whole other ball of wax. He doesn't have it easy with work or parenthood right now, but he's smart and can develop a better mindset. Thanks, mommyatty and sandandsea for the encouragement!
We’ve talked about this quite a bit already. But she sounds like an introvert, and we socialize very differently than “group people”. I know some people that always have to have a group around them and frankly it’s a lot for me! Sometimes I distance myself because in the group setting I am pushed aside by other people who while generally nice are more pushy/ forceful/ controlling than me. I don’t like everyone in the group and don’t enjoy some of their topics (I.e. name drop everyone they know for example, or competitive parenting as another example)
Also socializing is a lot different then when we were kids. More structured activities less hanging out. More socializing online and less in person. I struggle with comparing to my past but also DS was a bit of a late bloomer and taking more initiative now than ever. I also struggle with social media and take frequent breaks.
H and I had a long talk about this last night. He admitted he has expectations for her that are unrealistic in terms of what activities she does and how many friends she has. (Has one good friend and clearly has fun with classmates, teammates etc, but doesn't pursue these friendships beyond structured activities). He compares her to friends' kids and his life in general to that he sees on social media. That's a whole other ball of wax. He doesn't have it easy with work or parenthood right now, but he's smart and can develop a better mindset. Thanks, mommyatty and sandandsea for the encouragement!
We’ve talked about this quite a bit already. But she sounds like an introvert, and we socialize very differently than “group people”. I know some people that always have to have a group around them and frankly it’s a lot for me! Sometimes I distance myself because in the group setting I am pushed aside by other people who while generally nice are more pushy/ forceful/ controlling than me. I don’t like everyone in the group and don’t enjoy some of their topics (I.e. name drop everyone they know for example, or competitive parenting as another example)
Also socializing is a lot different then when we were kids. More structured activities less hanging out. More socializing online and less in person. I struggle with comparing to my past but also DS was a bit of a late bloomer and taking more initiative now than ever. I also struggle with social media and take frequent breaks.
Yes! I've spoken to a handful of other middle school parents who acknowledge kids don't plan or hang out unstructured the.wsy we did. I had to remind my h that we cannot compare DD1"s social situations to ours from that age. A. Times have changed. B. We only remember what we remember ....time has erased a lot of the details:)
Can I add that I completely do not understand looking at busy people’s social media and feeling jealous? I see one family in particular who travel like crazy and have kids in a gazillion activities, and all I can think is “What kind of fresh hell is that? Those poor kids. When do they get to just sit and think and figure out who they are?”
dglvrk2 I'm glad you are letting her drop mountain biking. I think band and gymnastics is more than enough.
I asked DD the other day how she felt about not being included and she said it was fine. Parts of her are sad she isn't part of the big gym snap chat group but then she isn't being awakened at 11pm whenever talks. She craves her quiet alone time and is the only kid out of her group that loves to just read.
My huge update is DD did her kip 6 times Thursday night and another 3 times this morning before she ripped her hand!
Can I add that I completely do not understand looking at busy people’s social media and feeling jealous? I see one family in particular who travel like crazy and have kids in a gazillion activities, and all I can think is “What kind of fresh hell is that? Those poor kids. When do they get to just sit and think and figure out who they are?”
[b
Agreed! In our long talk last night, H bemoaned about how we don't travel like a few of our friends do and wished our kids would be willing to do all the things a few other kids are doing with their parents.... according to Facebook. I've had to remind him over and over this is the exception, not the norm. Likewise, we didn't see the breakdowns or angst before or after said "living my best life" photos.
Can I add that I completely do not understand looking at busy people’s social media and feeling jealous? I see one family in particular who travel like crazy and have kids in a gazillion activities, and all I can think is “What kind of fresh hell is that? Those poor kids. When do they get to just sit and think and figure out who they are?”
[b
Agreed! In our long talk last night, H bemoaned about how we don't travel like a few of our friends do and wished our kids would be willing to do all the things a few other kids are doing with their parents.... according to Facebook. I've had to remind him over and over this is the exception, not the norm. Likewise, we didn't see the breakdowns or angst before or after said "living my best life" photos.
The travel posts in social media were a lot this summer. Multiple people went to Europe and had girls weekends.
We went camping to a place I’ve been a ton of times and had no desire to go back. I compromised for DH, and we did have a good time. But still not Europe! And not even the place that I wanted to camp at. Next summer I get to pick.
waverly, agreed the FB travel posts have been on steroids this summer. We had a fantastic vacation: kids at sleep -away camp that they loved and us camping somewhere new that we likewise really enjoyed. H only didn't appreciate it as much after he saw one of my girlfriend's travel blogs...
186momx, congratulations to your DD!! That's great that she's more consistent with her kios.DD1 has been working on these all summer.
Post by sandandsea on Aug 19, 2023 12:18:15 GMT -5
Yeah it’s super important to remember not to compare to others. I’ve been reminding my kids a lot lately that “comparison is the thief of joy” and it’s sooo true. So and so has a cool car, house, pool, vacation, video games, etc. Don’t let their blessings (however grandiose it is) make you feel bad about your own. Ds1 is starting middle school so he’s thinking about these more and more so we keep reminding him of how fortunate he is and I’m thankful he generally realizes his own privilege pretty quickly.
Also sometimes seeing it is the push we need to think about what choices we are making and if we really want to do what it would take to do/have xyz. It can be a positive motivator in that you do want to do more to also have xyz becUse you evaluate and deem it worth it or it reinforces that you’re making the right choices for you and don’t really want xyz.
Yeah it’s super important to remember not to compare to others. I’ve been reminding my kids a lot lately that “comparison is the thief of joy” and it’s sooo true. So and so has a cool car, house, pool, vacation, video games, etc. Don’t let their blessings (however grandiose it is) make you feel bad about your own. Ds1 is starting middle school so he’s thinking about these more and more so we keep reminding him of how fortunate he is and I’m thankful he generally realizes his own privilege pretty quickly.
Also sometimes seeing it is the push we need to think about what choices we are making and if we really want to do what it would take to do/have xyz. It can be a positive motivator in that you do want to do more to also have xyz becUse you evaluate and deem it worth it or it reinforces that you’re making the right choices for you and don’t really want xyz.
Yup, we are restructuring DH’s side business. It’s kind of painful for him but one is making money and the other one isn’t so getting rid of that and looking to see his other options.
Random WWYD for you all - we had booked a trip to Maui for our kids' fall break the last week of October. It's the one island the kids haven't been to. The condo we rented is in Wailea, about 30 miles from Lahaina. We have flights booked there on one airline and flights back on a different airline (on various reservations since I used points/miles for some), and a 3-bedroom condo rented. I think I can switch all the flights to different ones and should be able to still get a refund on the condo less a small cancellation fee.
In my research, Maui-based organizations are telling people to cancel any trips booked now, wait and see for September, and that October and later they will probably want tourists to come back since so many of their small businesses rely on tourists. But it feels like it would be morally wrong to go have fun so close to so much loss of life. Even if we were able to find a way to volunteer or help while there. It will be expensive to switch to another island at this point - but that's what we should do, right?
Post by supertrooper1 on Aug 21, 2023 13:46:34 GMT -5
sdlaura, I was talking to someone yesterday that also had a trip to Maui planned for October with her family and she postponed it until next year. Hawaii seems to be torn right now, where they don't want tourists because of the disaster and the water shortage, but they also have built their economy on tourists and rely on them.
sdlaura, do you know anyone who knows someone who lives there and can give you a local assessment. I feel like half the media is saying stay away and the other half is saying we are open come back.
sdlaura, we were debating between Maui and Cabo for fall break. I was really pushing for Maui, but let DH win the argument, and we're doing Cabo instead. I was a little grumpy about it, and then the next day, the fires broke out. I'm glad I don't have to make that decision.