Vents/randoms week of 9/26

[pandorica]

Sept 27, 2023 12:57:28 GMT -5 waverly said:

pandorica , not sure if this is helpful, but I've learned, and I tell myself a party is a snapshot in time. Just because your friends have other obligations doesn't mean you are losing them, it just means that date didn't work for them.

If you want to reconnect with them, I would text and ask what dates they are available. Now this isn't to say that they might, after that text, not choose a date, but I wouldn't base it on 1 party date.

Now, have I invited friends to a party and then said well that's my invite for the season, they can do the next one- yes, I have done that, but only when they hadn't wanted to get together in the past. So this was just my well I was trying to accommodate Covid by having an outside party, and if that doesn't work, then they need to figure out how they want to socialize. 

I should say the feeling abandoned thing has been happening all year. I just recently tried to get some friends together and had 2/3 bail, so this is more like the cherry on top of a shitty sundae 😅

[waverly]

pandorica, that is crappy, I'm sorry. I could think of 3-4 friends to invite to something and then my list runs cold, so I am not doing that fabulous in the friend department either, but I've always been an introvert with a small circle, so maybe that's just normal for me.

[dochas]

Sept 27, 2023 9:42:39 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Sept 26, 2023 19:05:39 GMT -5 mccallister84 said:

noodleoo send out a reminder message through evite. I always get a bunch of RSVPs once I do that since as previous posters have said people just forget to RSVP

Yeah, I should have done that last week.  Since the RSVP date is Friday, I'll just wait for that now.

dochas , I've been B-listed for kids parties before and I don't mind!  Planning who to invite was hard because she moved up classrooms in Sept right when I was about to send out the invites.  I couldn't invite both her old class and new class due to space/cost, so I figured I should invite the new one since that's the kids she is with now.  But she really misses a few kids in the other class and I have their parents info (I wouldn't send an invite in to school since I can't invite them all).  She'd be really happy if they could come.  I'd explain why we couldn't invite the old class but we had extra space (since we pay the minimum either way).  I don't think that's offensive? I'd rather someone come and have fun than pay for empty seats.  It is a trampoline place, my kids would be thrilled to go there any time.

No, I don't think that's offensive. And it is so hard when you have groups to invite and caps to manage. And I really don't see anything wrong with it and I would rather go (or be able to include someone) than not. I think it was that you originally sent an evite and I had one of the rudest experiences in my parenting life with someone B-listing through an evite. LOL A text or conversation the way you explained the situation would not be rude at all IMO.

[dochas]

Sept 27, 2023 13:01:22 GMT -5 waverly said:

Sept 26, 2023 16:03:00 GMT -5 dochas said:

I really hate it when people don't rsvp, but I wouldn't be annoyed about a lack of response if the date they were asked to respond by hasn't come yet. Definitely set the date earlier next year. I do not recommend B-listing children for a birthday party!

This too!  I feel like it is obvious on evite when you are B-listed because guests can see something about dates on the invite (I forget where, but in your case even the RSVP date would be a clue), and then will realize that everyone got their evite 3 weeks ago and they got theirs only 1 week before the party.  Now if you were doing text message or something maybe that might work where they wouldn't notice, but I think they can definitely tell on evite. 

This experience is what prompted me to say that. LOL Someone I hadn't spoken to in almost a year texted me out of the blue hey, how are you. blah blah. Could you check your email right away? She had JUST sent an evite to her son's party, a week or less away. I could see the original went out weeks earlier and that she had gotten a whole bunch of no responses that day. Sorry, cannot attend! LOL

[noodleoo]

Sept 27, 2023 14:51:53 GMT -5 dochas said:

Sept 27, 2023 13:01:22 GMT -5 waverly said:

This too!  I feel like it is obvious on evite when you are B-listed because guests can see something about dates on the invite (I forget where, but in your case even the RSVP date would be a clue), and then will realize that everyone got their evite 3 weeks ago and they got theirs only 1 week before the party.  Now if you were doing text message or something maybe that might work where they wouldn't notice, but I think they can definitely tell on evite. 

This experience is what prompted me to say that. LOL Someone I hadn't spoken to in almost a year texted me out of the blue hey, how are you. blah blah. Could you check your email right away? She had JUST sent an evite to her son's party, a week or less away. I could see the original went out weeks earlier and that she had gotten a whole bunch of no responses that day. Sorry, cannot attend! LOL

Oh that is shitty!  I would never do that without telling them *why* I was inviting them last minute!  That's so rude.

[mccallister84]

Hide the guest list on evite. No way to see that people RSVPed weeks ago. Voila!

[Susie]

What are your suggestions for really slim fitting toddler boy pants?  DS is roughly a size 3T in the waist, but a 5 inseam.  This is my first fall having to buy him long pants since he PTed 6 months ago, and we are missing the diaper to help hold up his pants!  

I used to buy him twill joggers from Cat & Jack that had knit cuffs but they don't make them anymore.

[nicolewi]

jinkies, I am so sorry, that's absolutely ridiculous. I totally get it. Your analogy is great. And then if they withhold extra help for a year and suddenly she's failing, THEN they would provide help again. It's crazy that they WAIT for kids to fail rather than intervening and providing consistent support at all stages.

[scm1011]

Susie I think Cat & Jack changed their fit, because they used to be the only thing that fit my very skinny DS (still hasn’t hit 40lb at nearly 7). We’re currently rotating 2 pairs of Old Navy 5T joggers that magically fit (their sizing is wildly inconsistent, we have 2 other pairs of the same pants and they’re too big). I’m getting desperate and just ordered pants from a few different places to try, so I commiserate (and will let you know the findings of my experiment). He spent all summer in 4T shorts, ha.

[dcn]

Sept 27, 2023 19:05:04 GMT -5 Susie said:

What are your suggestions for really slim fitting toddler boy pants?  DS is roughly a size 3T in the waist, but a 5 inseam.  This is my first fall having to buy him long pants since he PTed 6 months ago, and we are missing the diaper to help hold up his pants!  

I used to buy him twill joggers from Cat & Jack that had knit cuffs but they don't make them anymore.

I had good luck with Tea Collection. Children’s Place when he was older seemed to run slim as well.

[jinkies]

Sept 26, 2023 15:10:21 GMT -5 jinkies said:

My vent is special education related.

My DD was well behind her peers at the end of 3rd grade, so we pulled her and sent her to a private school for kids with dyslexia for two years. She received daily Wilson reading instruction and is now reading on grade level, which is great.

Except.

Now that we are transitioning back to public school in 6th grade, I wanted them to continue Wilson instruction, and was expecting that we could get them to do it because she showed such positive results from it. Instead, they are saying she is not a candidate because she reads on grade level. But she reads on grade level BECAUSE she received two years of daily Wilson instruction. We had her IEP meeting and we tried to prevent evidence that she was a strong candidate for Wilson and they said no.

It is so frustrating. It would be like telling someone who controls their blood pressure with medicine, that they don't need medicine because their blood pressure is normal, even though it's only normal because of the medicine.

UPDATE:

They sent me a revised IEP yesterday for my signature. During the IEP meeting, I was told that her only remaining issue was spelling, and that she was average in all other areas of reading which is why she did not meet the threshold for receiving Wilson instruction. 

In the revised document, they added a goal for Reading Fluency, with the goal being for her to read fluently at a 5th grade level (presumably by the end of the year?). She is in 6th grade. This goal was not in the version of the IEP that we discussed in our meeting last week. When I asked why they added this goal, they said her current fluency level was 4th grade, but that fluency is different from comprehension and her comprehension is at grade level. 

This is why these meetings are such fucking bullshit. Can my kid read or not? Why can't I get a straight answer? If she can't read fluently at grade level, why is she in 6th grade gen ed for reading? Why wouldn't she qualify for Wilson instruction? Why did you insist for the entirety of a 2 hour meeting that her *only* issue is spelling? Why do I need a degree in special education to understand what they are saying in these meetings?

UGH. Vent over. 

[186momx]

jinkies, don't sign the IEP and fight back. I hate how schools make the IEP process so stinking difficult.

DD 7th grade hate being pulled from general education to receive services. It embarrasses her. Our school has a class called academic support and you take it during an elective and this gives you the resource room to get services. This year the NEW SPED teacher isn't working well. She doesn't want DD in it because she had straight A's last year in a district that allows kids to redo work to receive full points. Her IEP states her writing/spelling is at a 1st/2nd grade level but the NEW SPED doesn't want to look at that because her grades are good. It is so frustrating as a parent let alone for the kids.

[ny96]

Emergency food bags are due at school tomorrow and it’s my least favorite thing to send each year. It’s always hard to gather the items; one of the things on the list was lollipops and I went to 2 stores and no lollipops. Also, canned pudding which I’ve never seen in a store. I spent $30 on food supplies that will sit in a closet until the end of the school year when my son will be handed back his bag and despite begging him not to eat the food, he will as he does every year, and will get a stomach ache. Fortunately my little one knows not to eat food that has been in a bag for a year.

[pandorica]

Sept 28, 2023 20:24:10 GMT -5 ny96 said:

Emergency food bags are due at school tomorrow and it’s my least favorite thing to send each year. It’s always hard to gather the items; one of the things on the list was lollipops and I went to 2 stores and no lollipops. Also, canned pudding which I’ve never seen in a store. I spent $30 on food supplies that will sit in a closet until the end of the school year when my son will be handed back his bag and despite begging him not to eat the food, he will as he does every year, and will get a stomach ache. Fortunately my little one knows not to eat food that has been in a bag for a year.

What's an emergency food bag?

[lo]

We just got buckets with potty lids to keep in our classrooms in case of emergency. No mention of any food, so the kids might get hungry, but they will be able to poop.

[ny96]

Sept 28, 2023 21:14:21 GMT -5 pandorica said:

Sept 28, 2023 20:24:10 GMT -5 ny96 said:

Emergency food bags are due at school tomorrow and it’s my least favorite thing to send each year. It’s always hard to gather the items; one of the things on the list was lollipops and I went to 2 stores and no lollipops. Also, canned pudding which I’ve never seen in a store. I spent $30 on food supplies that will sit in a closet until the end of the school year when my son will be handed back his bag and despite begging him not to eat the food, he will as he does every year, and will get a stomach ache. Fortunately my little one knows not to eat food that has been in a bag for a year.

What's an emergency food bag?

I think they only do it in California. It’s a gallon ziploc bag filled with non perishable food that the school can pull out if there is ever an earthquake or natural disaster and they have to shelter in place. It also has a family picture and a reassuring note that we write our kid saying something like “we love you and we’ll be there as soon as we can”. Our preschool had emergency backpacks which included the food bag, note and photo, but also a comfort object and a change of clothes and shoes. I always had to figure out what items I would be ok sending to school and never using again.

[blondemoment123]

I didn't want to start another thread. Are flash cards the way to go when it comes to teaching sight words? Aside from pointing out in a book?

[countthestars]

Sept 27, 2023 9:16:52 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

I've overextended myself this fall with kid extra curriculars and my own volunteer gig (Girls on the Run) and I'm constantly exhausted during the week. Its definitely largely a problem of my own making (my kids each have 3 activities a week right now) but also compounded by the fact that both my job and DH's job have never been busier.

On the plus side, one of the kid activities is a kids run club that parents can participate in too and its SO fun for all 4 of us. My 4 year old DD, who until recently complained about walking 3 blocks, is now incredibly motivated to run laps and train towards her 5K. Its also a great way for DH and I to get in some extra running during the week!

is your GOTR 5k in Worcester? DD is running this year!

[scm1011]

Oct 3, 2023 19:18:47 GMT -5 countthestars said:

Sept 27, 2023 9:16:52 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

I've overextended myself this fall with kid extra curriculars and my own volunteer gig (Girls on the Run) and I'm constantly exhausted during the week. Its definitely largely a problem of my own making (my kids each have 3 activities a week right now) but also compounded by the fact that both my job and DH's job have never been busier.

On the plus side, one of the kid activities is a kids run club that parents can participate in too and its SO fun for all 4 of us. My 4 year old DD, who until recently complained about walking 3 blocks, is now incredibly motivated to run laps and train towards her 5K. Its also a great way for DH and I to get in some extra running during the week!

is your GOTR 5k in Worcester? DD is running this year!

Aww no, ours is in East Boston. That would have been cool!

[sent]

Oct 3, 2023 18:19:32 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

I didn't want to start another thread. Are flash cards the way to go when it comes to teaching sight words? Aside from pointing out in a book?

This is how DS learned them last year in Pre-K and is doing them again in K this year. 

[thebreakfastclub]

Oct 3, 2023 18:19:32 GMT -5 blondemoment123 said:

I didn't want to start another thread. Are flash cards the way to go when it comes to teaching sight words? Aside from pointing out in a book?

My son had a word ring in K... it was the high frequency words like on, in, he. Like little flash cards on a metal ring. I just googled word ring and saw some at Amazon and Lakeshore learning.

[blondemoment123]

thebreakfastclub sent
Perfect! I bought flashcards and he's been doing pretty well with it so it sounds like I'm on the right track.

[ellipses84]

Sept 28, 2023 22:28:09 GMT -5 ny96 said:

Sept 28, 2023 21:14:21 GMT -5 pandorica said:

What's an emergency food bag?

I think they only do it in California. It’s a gallon ziploc bag filled with non perishable food that the school can pull out if there is ever an earthquake or natural disaster and they have to shelter in place. It also has a family picture and a reassuring note that we write our kid saying something like “we love you and we’ll be there as soon as we can”. Our preschool had emergency backpacks which included the food bag, note and photo, but also a comfort object and a change of clothes and shoes. I always had to figure out what items I would be ok sending to school and never using again.

We had to do it in Seattle when I was a kid in the early 90s. My kids in CA have never had to do it, but our district provides all school supplies and can’t require parents to bring them, so maybe they supply it? They ask for donations for other school supplies and things like Clorox wipes.

[al dente]

My older one has a barky cough, and slightly runny nose but nothing else. We're suppose to leave on Sunday for vacation and my H is convinced we need to cancel. I have a Dr appt today and kept her home from school. But man the timing! And we have family coming into town today going on vacation with us too.

[sillygoosegirl]

jinkies , that's just infuriating. I take it they aren't going to give Wilson intervention just for spelling/fluency?

I'm still trying to get my child in for school testing, but I very worried about the same thing. Mine is "on grade level" in decoding (due to at home OG instruction) but her fluency is off the charts terrible, literal 1st percentile. So for a practical matter, she still can't read. Yet it seems like I often hear that schools for some reason don't feel the need to remediate low fluency. It feels like absolute insanity. I'm honestly not sure what good decoding is without following through to fluency. It's especially infuriating seeing as this appears to be the TYPICAL COURSE for dyslexia... decoding can be brought up to grade level in a few years of good and intense intervention typically, but fluency continues to lag... And then it seems like services are normally dropped at this point, so of course fluency lags... I'd guess forever in most cases. But does it need to lag forever? Not sure how we are supposed to find out when most students who need it stop getting interventions at that point.

Also why would the fluency goal only be 5th grade fluency? Shouldn't the goal be to catch up in fluency? Sure, maybe 2 grade levels is too much for a single academic year, but the goal should be to achieve grade level at some point, so surely to achieve that, the 1 year goal needs to be a little more than 1 year of progress, right?

[jinkies]

Thanks sillygoosegirl it is frustrating.

I asked to schedule a check in in December, once she has time to settle into the classroom and the school bc it's been hard to distinguish actual issues from normal adjustment issues that will resolve.

Her learning support classroom has a child with very disruptive behavior issues which adds another layer of complication. She reports that even though the Gen Ed class is more challenging, that she prefers to be there because it's so hard to focus and learn in the special education class with this child.

So I'm trying to balance my ideal supports for her with the reality of what those supports might look like (stuck with this kid for more of the day).

It's so hard to know the best approach to this stuff. I hope your child's school gives you the support you need!